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Wedding #1- I was in this wedding. It was supposed to start at 4pm. We were all there by like 1 to get ready and get pictures done. We still started 30minutes late. They had their friend, who had just become "internet" ordained, perform the ceremony. The ceremony wasn't bad actually, it was afterwords. The pictures took like an hour, just for the bridal party. So we then go to be "hostesses" for the guests who are mingling and drinking soda (no alcohol because the groom didn't turn 21 for another 6 weeks, she was 24). They finally show up about 45 minutes later. They didn't have a DJ, to save on money, but decided to burn CD's with their favorite music. Problem with that is that all their favorite music was music you COULDN'T DANCE TOO! The only dancing anyone did was them, for their first dance, which was choreographed. Guests started booking right after the cake. As a bridesmaid, me and my friend, who were going to be crashing at their apartment that night, had to figure out when we could make a "graceful" exit. We were both exhausted, bored and uncomfortable (neither one of our dresses really fit us well by the time the wedding rolled around).
Then the next day we got bitched out by the bride. See during their pictures we (the bridesmaids, maid and matron of honor) had gone to the bridal suite and put flower petels on the pillows and on the comforter and around the room. We put on some soothing, romantic music, we dolled the room up. Well, it turned out that the petals, bleed into the white comforter. So instead of being grateful for what we did she yelled at us and chewed us out for like 10 minutes and it was only me and my friend Tania, who got the crap. We were beyond pissed that she was treating us this way. Neither one of us talked to her for quite some time, not until she apologized for her behavior. The stupid thing was, all she did was call the front desk and tell the manager "my bridal party tried to do something nice for us and the comforter got ruined". Did she get charged? NO!!! But then she still screamed at us. Talk about gratitude :rolleyes: Wedding #2- this was a sisters wedding. The ceremony was fine but afterwords was just bad. Her pictures took an hour and a half to get done. They didn't have anything set up for the guests, the DJ wasn't playing, drinks weren't available and appetizers weren't even being served. When it was finally time for dinner, it was a buffet line and the DJ went table by table. My table was the LAST to get to the buffet line and when we got there most of the food was gone and it was COLD. We go back to the table to eat and the other half of the room, which got their food like 30-45 minutes before us was done and they were bored, this included the bridal party! We literally got like 10 minutes to eat before the "festivities" started. The rest of the reception wasn't really that bad, the dinner was just horrible. Made me realize that I would never do a buffet. I also got annoyed with my sister, her wedding was on my birthday. She knew it was my birthday. She saw me many times during the reception and she not once wished me a happy birthday. I undstand that it was her special day, but in some respects your birthday is your special day, all I wish was that she had ACKNOWLEDGED it. I wasn't wanting her to stop everything and have her friends and family sing happy birthday to me. But to have her say "thank you so much for coming to my wedding. happy birthday" would have been nice. I got a card, but because I'm not married, I haven't heard from her in 2 years. |
my friends know better than to get married on my b-day. i declined a wedding invitation from a CLOSE FRIEND who got married on my b-day (my mom went instead); also my LS when planning her wedding said, we were thinking about this date... i shot her a look and said i love you but i wont be there. that was the end of that. LOL.
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Oh, God. This isn't a wedding story, yet, but more the trainwreck that is my current housemate's life.
At the beginning of April, I moved into my current house with some people I had met in a hurry because life had happened all over my shoes and moving fast was a necessity (in the middle of a semester, mind). As I'm moving in, the girl who's around most often makes some comments about wedding plans. It seems that about two months before I met her, she'd met a soldier at the bar who was imminent for being shipped to Afghanistan. He'd spent the night calling her his "wife" and saying they'd gotten married in Vegas by Elvis. Fast-forward to April, and they're planning to fly to Vegas (with friends) and have Elvis marry them. Soldier-boy is, at this point, mere weeks from going to Afghanistan. Apparently, however, last minute flights to Vegas aren't really all that cheap, and finals week is fast approaching for my housemate and all her college-age friends. Not to mention that Solider-boy isn't acting all that keen on actually getting married. (My armchair psychiatric opinion: he's Catholic and a soldier being faced with his own mortality, combined with being an only son and wants a knocked-up wife before he goes off to war.) I swear the two of them break up and get re-engaged (if you can truly call it engaged without a ring or any real cooperation from the man involved) three times in the first two weeks I know her. Soon enough, Soldier-boy ships out, and I think I've seen the end of it. NOT SO! Housemate girl is now looking into "getting married over the internet." When she finds out that that's just some website that makes fake little marriages for Junior-High-Schoolers who want to proclaim their undying love, she hears about "marriage through the mail." Which is apparently possible (as marriage-by-proxy), and has become all the rage as we're near a large military base and there's a war on and the soldiers are a bit worried that us smart, handsome Navy-men-turned-Jody at the University are going to steal their girlfriends if they don't marry them fast.... Eventually she becomes convinced that this isn't the best option, however, as it's difficult and requires more paperwork than a simple marriage license, and might actually require her to do something. Then Soldier-boy has a friend die and gets permission to travel back to the States with the body and visit his family. Don't ask me how that works, because I honestly don't know. His family is in Louisiana. He tells the girl not to bother coming to see him as he'll only be there a couple of days. She doesn't listen and goes to see him, but in the meantime, she's decided she wants a baby, and has gone off her birth control. She comes home from her ill-planned adventure in Louisiana all aglow thinking that she's pregnant. Those of you who know much of anything about reproductive physiology will already know the outcome when I tell you that this girl is 22 and has been on the pill since she was sixteen, and had gone off the pill only long enough to have one period. Of course she's not pregnant. Her body hasn't caught up with the fact that she's stopped taking the pills. It might not do for YEARS yet. But little miss sunshine is prancing around the house for weeks thinking she's got a bun in the oven. She buys home testing kits and uses them daily until she finally goes to a doctor for a full-on test and her fantasy world comes crashing down around her with the news that, no, she's really not pregnant. That's where things stand right now, though she seems to be planning a wedding for Soldier-boy's mid-deployment leave sometime in December. Thankfully, she's decided to get her own apartment, and will be moving out, so I won't have to see the end of this little fiasco. |
Oh.My.
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Anyhow, your roommate sounds like a very unique person. |
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It always amuses me when I meet a woman who knows less about her ovaries than I do. :) |
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It says it "could" take up to two months but then another doctor states further down "Stopping the pill? Right away." In other words, women can get pregnant right away. I had stated a woman can get pregnant right after going off the pill because you said it wasn't possible in your original post. Then you said in your most recent post "sometimes it's as little as one day"..... So why are you disagreeing with me then? And I get the whole sugar pills thing but thanks breaking it down for everyone. I wasn't trying to be a jerk to you but obviously I have insulted you in some sort of way to have received such an offensive response so I apologize if my post had offended you. |
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Let me clarify - you can END UP pregnant if you have sex during your period. But you cannot get pregnant while you're having your period, as you are not ovulating. Semen can stay in the body 7-10 days, and if you have a short cycle and end up ovulating within 10 days after your period, then yes, you can end up pregnant from the sex you had during your period. But due to the fact that the bleeding is flushing everything out of your body, it's not likely. |
It's simple . . .
. . . if you are having sex, you COULD get pregnant. There are averages, there are observed patterns, there are clinical trials that may show the odds are you won't, there are percentages you can try to work, there are steps you can take to minimize the risk, but basically you should understand that short of not having sex nothing else is 100%.
I have 4 children. I planned to have 4 - but only in only 1 case did I become pregnant when the odds said I would. In fact, my last two are only 15 months apart, and I had the last one at 39. The statistics say I should have had a hard time getting pregnant with #3 at 37, never mind the odds of #4 at 39. And I was told before #1 that I might NEVER be able to get pregnant. So, long story short - SEX COULD ALWAYS LEAD TO PREGNANCY is a good motto to live by. |
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Ok, no more thread hijacks. Let's get this thread back to "Worst Wedding You've Ever Attended." I don't want this thread turning into a heated argument. Any subsequent posts regarding birth control, pregnancy, etc. will be deleted.
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Thank you. I was wondering if this was going to be a trainwreck before I got to tell my story...;)
Anyway, I'll keep it short. I've only been to a few weddings, but the worst out of the 3 was definitely my big sister's. I was the maid of honor, so I didn't have an escort going down the aisle (the best man was already up by the groom). This was terrifying for me as I'm dead clumsy and it was my first pair of heels. They had me wear them around the house for a few days to get used to them, but a fat lot of good that did. I tripped going down the aisle anyway. I would've played it off nicely had the photographer not jumped into the aisle trying to catch me. After successfully navigating the rest of the aisle, the wedding proceeds beautifully until the lighting of the Unity Candle. My sister and her almost-husband light the candle and turn away from each other to blow their individual candles out. My sister blows hers out, but the groom is just holding his, shoulders shaking. I'm standing behind them, so I'm watching his shoulders wondering why the hell he's laughing during his wedding, when suddenly he puffs out his cheeks, lets out a strangled sound like a tire blowing out, and throws his hand over his mouth while 2 groomsmen grab him under the arms and drag him from the church. We all just sort of sit in a stunned silence until somebody pokes (more like punches) the singer and tells her to go sing again, even though she'd just finished a song. After everything ended and the bridal party is back in their room, my sister tells us all about how her idiot husband got so tanked at his bachelor party that he'd been struggling not to throw up all through the wedding. Then, they all start scheming about how to get the dried throw up off the leg of his rented tux because my sister was freaking out having to pay an extra fee. However, after I tripped going up the steps for my portrait to be taken and made a thud that got the attention of everyone who hadn't left for the reception yet, there was a lot less tension in the room and a lot more laughing. After they came back from the honeymoon, they were going to copy the wedding video for family members who wanted one until they saw that the video zoomed in on the groom's faced as his cheeks exploded, cut to a random shot of the beach for a few seconds, then come back on at a different part of the wedding (which the timer at the bottom of the screen says was seven minutes later). After we saw that, we just kept it to ourselves. |
ROFL
Oh - the part about the video did it for me . . .I like the idea of the cut away scene at the beach!
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Just this past Saturday
Ok.....this is up there.....this is one of those you just take notes and pray it doesn't happen to you:
1. the couple got married in Vegas and decided to have the reception later........ 2. the reception was in a fireman's hall in Camden, NJ near a Campbell Soup factory and run down street next block over...not too far from a biker bar and because there was no sign outside of the bar or the hall...guess where most people went to first. 3. the food was over an hr late because the grandmother of the groom cooking the food was running late because she was lost. 4. speaking of, how about the bride's mom running around worried, comments that she never met the grandmother (who was to fix enough to feed approx. 200 people) but her daughter said that she has had her food and it was great 5. speaking of THAT, how about when the food arrives and everyone is served, everything was salty, like she just cut open the box and dumped the box over everything 6. since they weren't serving any, we had to run to the sto' (not store...but sto') to get drinks....we asked people did they want anything...and the same people that said NO...were at my table later bumming for drinks. 7. I could kind of see why being as there was no DJ so music was being played on an old CD player which kept skipping every other song so bad that people begged him to just turn on the radio...which he didn't. 7a. As there was no 'official' photographer, since I had possibly the 'best professional-looking' camera in there, I got drafted as the wedding photgrapher.....wait til they see my bill! 8. There was the girl that came in the tweety bird colored dress that was so exposing that she was one step or trip away from having a Beyonce moment. If your boobs or @ss is threatening to make a special guest appearance, maybe you shouldn't wear it. 9. Speaking of Beyonce....the first dance was to her song Flaws and All and then followed by an oldie "If You Don't Know Me By Now..." by Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes ...oddly enough these songs didn't skip. 10. The Groom's mother, the handsome woman that she was, fought with one of the younger girls because she almost caught the bouquet.....which resulted in less men going up to try and catch garter and to round it all off.......as the evening winds down...it is announced that the bride is 5 months pregnant so if anyone would like to make donations, there was a box as you leave the building to put some money in. The good news after all that was at least the AC worked as Saturday decided to go up to a sweltering 103 degrees. |
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Something like: Mr. and Mrs. Smith-Jones Cordially Invite You to Our Wedding Reception And Baby Shower P.S. Two gifts are expected. So there. |
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RIGHT????????? |
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i probably already know the bride is pregnant, ill hit her up at the baby shower in a few months...:mad: |
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Not too nasty, but I was at one wedding where it was so hot - and of course, the air conditioning in the church wasn't working! - that two bridesmaids and one groomsman fainted. I have to give the one bridesmaid credit, though - she grabbed the flag in a wild attempt to not fall. Needless to say, a flag is not sturdy enough to keep anyone over 10# from falling. |
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Just call it a "Cake Walk". I cried. Because, I thought it wasn't so bad, there were things I could have improved. But under a month of planning at a destination location was tough. I don't suggest anyone doing what I did. If you really must get married, JP, all the way. Cheaper and have a huge reception to get money for your future and a house. |
The worst wedding I went to was a Greek wedding last year. I don't mean our kind of Greek; it was Greek Orthodox. I need to preface this by saying that I grew up Orthodox, so I am well aware of the long ceremony and customs.
First came the shower....there were about 250 women for a 1:00 shower. Most of the women showed up in cocktail attire. Just before I left, a fist fight broke out between two women. Since I knew a lot of people who would be attending the wedding, I went by myself. The usher wouldn't walk me down the main aisle because I was not "Greek". Who cares? The only thing that I cared about was that I didn't want to sit next to the acquaintance with whom they sat me. Mark had just been fired from my employer, and complained the entire time. The wedding started 45 minutes late because the maid of honor was late getting to the church. Then she had to "do" the mother of the bride's hair AND her aunt's hair. We were all sitting in church freezing for what seemed like ever. I kept looking back at some friends who had flown in from Texas and the looks they kept throwing me were so funny. So wedding finally begins. Mark, who was not of Greek descent, but thought he was, began to chant with the priest. The father of the bride kept trying to run out the church for a cigarette. The mother of the bride was making hand signals to all of the brides maids. By the time the reception started, we were starved but didn't care because we needed large amounts of alcohol. The reception was at the adjoining hall. The bride, who was on a "strict budget" had 600 (that's right) people at the wedding. The hall held about 400 at most. 10 of us were crammed into a 6 foot table. If someone behind us had to pull their chair out, we had to move in. They ran out of liquor before dinner was served. By the time our food was served it was cold. We probably shouldn't have eaten it because everyone who ordered the chicken got sick the next day. The father of the groom handed $3000 to two of my friends to go on a liquor run. Because the church hall is in a bad area of town, they had to drive 30 minutes to find anyone who sold premium shelf liquor. We finally had alcohol about 2 hours later. The dancing, of course, was all ethnic, whiich would be fine in most circumstances. I have never seen a bride throw stacks of $1 bills from her cleavage, then grab a push broom to sweep it up. The best (or worst) sight of the evening was Mark trying to belly dance. It was quite a view watching him wiggle his butt. Fast forward to thet honeymoon....I forgot to mention, the bride was not just a virgin, but a very naive virgin. She knew nothing! After the wedding night, she told her new husband that it hurt too much and never wanted to do it again. The wedding was in May, we received thank you notes in December. The "thank you notes" were printed on a home printer with a fill-in-the-blank body: Dear___________________, Thank you for the ______________. It really means a lot to us. Love, Bride and Groom Very few of us have spoken with her since the wedding. From what she told us about the wedding night, I won't expect a baby shower invitation soon. |
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Not a wedding that I attended (I was at my cousins wedding with the worst date ever - who I promptly dumped afterward), but my friends all told me about missing the worst wedding ever last year. The bride looked like something out of the late 80s in her dress. The night before the wedding, she began bawling profusely and saying that she was making a mistake. Her dad kept asking her if she was sure that she wanted to get married. The wedding proceeded. On the guest list was not one, but two ex-boyfriends from college. She had requested a song to be played so that she could dance with one of them - Jesse's Girl (and his name is Jesse). The groom apparently looked less than thrilled.
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my husband and i attended a family wedding a few weekends ago. they were not able to hold the ceremony in their home church because their minister told them that it was church policy to not have weddings on saturdays, because they could not get the church ready for services the next day. they booked another church which was way too small for the guest list. people actually had to stand in the back.
when the usher asked if we were to be seated on the brides or grooms side, i told him "bride" and that we were family, so he walked us to the third row from the front, which was marked as a family pew. i saw my cousin and her family in that pew, but it appeared that someone was trying to save the other half of the pew, because there was a tissue box, a hymnal, a Bible and a camera bag strewn across the cushion. my cousin wasn't holding the seats for anyone and invited us to sit down. a little later a woman, man and darling twin girls came and sat down in the "reserved seats". i didn't know them-neither did my cousin(who, by the way is the brides aunt). shortly another woman came up, glared at us and said loudly to the man(her husband) "i had saved 5 seats for us." i started to say that we were family and were supposed to sit there, but the womans husband pulled her down in the seat. they were not family! we sit for a while, anticipating that the wedding will begin shortly when we see this woman dressed in a black pantsuit sort of skulking down the aisle. when she reaches the end of the aisle, she whips around and we all see she is holding a sheet of notebook paper, on which she has scribbled the message,"turn off cell phones", she them proceeds back up the aisle pausing at each pew and brandishing her message at us all. she does this not once, but twice! the wedding is lovely. bride is beautiful, dress is beautiful. skirt is very wide. after the part where the minister asks who gives this woman in marriage, the bride and the groom start to walk up these narrow, narrow steps to the altar-i envisioned one or both of them falling off those steps, but somehow they managed it and the ceremony went off without a hitch. the reception is held outside at the home of the groom's sister, which is on the banks of a river. there is a dock leading out to a boat shelter and my husband wants to walk out the the end of the dock. i feel like i owe him, so off we go. we get about half way out and begin to hear yelling from the shore-we figure that it is just someone hallooing someone else across the yard and proceed to the end of the dock, stand there a few minutes admiring the view and then turn around to start back. we see the cell phone sign lady waving her arms at us and she begins to run out on the dock toward us. she meets us about half way, and informs us that no one is supposed to be one the dock, for at least 30 minutes. we apologize and say that there was no sign or barrier telling us not to walk on the dock, so then she says, "you know, you're right. how about you 2 stand here(we had reached dry land again) and keep everyone off the dock?" it turns out the bride and groom are going to arrive via boat and they do not want anyone on the dock so they can make a grand entrance. so we got to be the gate keepers, shooing anyone who dared try to stroll down the dock. next, the cell phone sign lady shows up with a bag of sand, votive candles and paper bags. you got it, she is going to make luminerias to line the dock. right now. at the reception, which is in full swing. she enlists some of the servers and us and we get an assembly line going. it turns out that this woman is the reception coordinator. has a heart of gold, but is brash in her manner. tacky, tacky! now realize that all this time we have had nothing to eat because we have been shanghaied to do this womans bidding. we have had 2 watered down diet pepsis, which were so watered down we ended up dumping them out. can't get near the alcohol, once we are released from dock duty. can't get near the food, either. got to speak briefly with my cousin and my aunt(the brides mother and grandmother) but of course did not tell them of the adventures we'd been having. we ended up leaving shortly after the bride and groom arrived, and ate dinner at the cracker barrel next to our hotel, in our wedding finery! |
Too funny, FSUZeta. Ya can't make this stuff up -- :)
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But what church doesn't do weddings on Saturday?! At least around here, 90% of weddings are on Saturday. |
it was a baptist church, but it was that particular church. i have been to plenty of weddings in baptist churches on saturdays-mornings, afternoons and nights.
as my husband pointed out, unless the reception is being held in the church social hall, what's to clean up? and as most churches ask for a nominal fee, where does that go, if not to pay the church warden/janitor? |
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Which reminds me of a former co-worker's wedding. He was married in a church that has steps going down the main isle. Well, here comes his bride down the steps in her really wide dress. About half way down the steps the inevitable happens. She bites it- luckily her Dad was able to keep half of her upright. Well, then she starts crying about how embarassed she is- so the minister lets her try it again. So the wedding starts over again- including all the bridesmaids and flower girls walking in again. Then at the reception they served us fried chicken, green beans, and mashed potatoes catered in by Grandy's (a local fast food place similar to KFC). |
I've luckily gone to some pretty decent ones. I was in my brothers and it was kind of shady because the brides friends and family were ghetto. We're standing there in Tuxedo's on a damn riverboat and people show up in raiders T-shirts and jerseys.
My cousins wedding kind of sucked because it was Uber religious and only lasted 1.5 hours (including reception, with no booze or dancing allowed) I went to a wedding a few weeks back that was ok except for getting too drunk and dancing with my ex all night, not that there's anything wrong with that except that I have no intention of ever getting back with her and I could of been making time with other women attending... Umm I think that's all I can say about bad wedding experiances... Oh and one more went to my aunt's best friends wedding, when the Angels were in the world series, see I'm a life long hardcore angels fan and they basically sucked for most of my life, it was the one where they scored I believe 10 runs in the 7th, had to watch MOST of the game standing at the bar on a 15 inch TV because the bride hated sports and didn't care that getting married in mid october is dumb... =( |
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But then, I'm also used to churches where it is made very clear that the wedding is a service of worship, not The Bride (and Groom) Show, and that have very strict rules on flowers, music and the like. |
Ok, here it goes. I mentioned the "wedding" I attended yesterday in the christmas gifts thread, so here's the story. Let me also state that these people will be family in less than a year since my boyfriend and I got engaged 2 weeks ago.
Ok so I get back from my cruise on Friday to find out that yes, we know what church to go and what time. Wow, well at least we know two days before the wedding instead of the day before. I mean these people couldn't even send out an evite so we know what is up? Then the attire question is asked. Fiance says, he doesn't think guys will be wearing suits. What?? This is still a wedding, whether it's the 5th btwn the two of them or not. So we find out Sat night that no, guys aren't wearing suits. I ask, is the groom, my fiance can't answer that. And wedding day is here. We pull up, I'm overdressed. I am wearing a navy blue dress with white polka dots, a white cardigan and navy blue low wedges. AND I'M OVERDRESSED!! The groom does have on a suit and the bride wore a tasteful cream suit (white white hose, but hey, I'll take what I can get). The kids all look like they rolled out of bed, but with 5 combined, I guess just having them dressed is a blessing. The ceremony starts. Apparently no one told people where to sit. We have bride people on the groom side, groom people on the bride's side and the kids run back and forth in the front row during the ceremony. The bride actually cries during the ceremony (which is ironic to me, she's done this 2 other times, she's got it down.) Ah the reception, we head over to their new we-can't-afford-this-but-we-bought-it-to-look-classy house for the "reception." We are all supposed to sit outside under a tent. WHAT?? It's November. It's cold and windy! For food they have frozen shrimp, ham sandwiches (helloo, what if eating pork is against your religion?) meatballs, chicken nuggets, fruit and crackers and dip. Not too bad, if you don't mind sharing with the 50 other people. I don't think they ran out of food, but I didn't chance going back. Then the cake. They actually had a wedding cake. Unfortunately you could see the cake through the icing and it tasted like cardboard. Oh and did I mention that the kids and groom have all changed into jeans at this point? Yep they're running around the backyard kicking balls and throwing toys. The funniest part was the bride looks at the tent and goes "Oh where where will I and husband sit?" Helloo, you don't have enough seating for everyone? And I thoroughly enjoyed the CD on the boom box that kept being repeated over and over. Thankfully no one danced and it was just background. Oh and they ran out of soda. Lots of beer, some wine, but no water, no punch, and no soda. You all have 5 kids and no regular drinks? But hey, there wasn't a riot, they're married and come next October they'll be my brother and sister in-law. |
good one!! now i'll have to cruise over to the christmas present thread to see what you decided to do.
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Okay, I thought I had been to some awful weddings, but these are priceless!
My contribution: A few summers ago, my (now ex) boyfriend and I attended the wedding of one his childhood/hs/college friends. The ex was a groomsman and his mother was also invited since they had been friends for such a long time. The wedding was held at a beautiful old church and the reception was held at a historic home in downtown Portsmouth, NH, about a half-mile away. The ceremony was nice enough, nothing really to note. BUT, after the ceremony, it was announced that since there wasn't any parking at the reception site, all guests were expected to walk in a procession behind the bride & groom, who would be travelling in a horse drawn carriage. Had it just been the ex and I, this wouldn't have been a problem, but his mother was recently recovering from foot surgery, so walking that far was totally out of the question. The compromise, I would drive her enormous SUV through the winding, cobblestone streets of the city, drop her off, then walk myself. My ex didn't feel he could skip the bizarre processional, since he was a part of the wedding party. It was a bit of an adventure to get my ex's mother all dropped off--I drive a tiny car and nearly took off side view mirrors a few times, then walk the half mile alone in stilettos. I was slightly annoyed by the time I got to the wedding and only become moreso, when I got there and realized the only food being served was a sweaty wheel of brie and some wilted grapes (trust me, money was NO object for these two). It doesn't often get over 90 in NH, but on this day it did, and not anticipating the hordes of thirsty and hungry guests, the reception site ran out of water and soda, leaving beer and sangria as the only beverage options. To recap: that's 90 degree heat, no food, no water, lots of booze. Amazing combination and my ex refused to be anyone other than the last guest to leave since he was a groomsman (did I mention he's my EX?) Needless to say, I was not in any condition to drive home that night, but totally not in a fun way. Instead, I, along with most of the other guests, was disgustingly dehydrated, sweaty, hungry, and sporting some nasty blisters from my 1/2 mile walk in stilettos. And I never got a thank you note for my gift. :mad: |
another example of cute ideas that don't work in the real world.
we had a procession when my old roommate got married, but this was at a resort. it was fun but my fee hurt and we just walked from the grand entry to the gazeebo (2 minute walk). |
I heard this story from a friend of mine, and it just has to be repeated.
First of all, the bride and groom had already eloped, but didn't want to tell their parents because they wanted a formal wedding, too. The ceremony was set in the middle of a field - no, not rolling green hills but an unkempt, tall weedy field. The procession began from a farmhouse a quarter-mile away, and the party was walking on a cheap paper runner that clung to their shoes, so they were horse-stepping their way down and looking ridiculous. The officiant begins by quoting divorce statistics. He says the divorce rate for couples like you is staggering, but I know you'll make it because of your friends and family who are here. (My friend is thinking, don't almost ALL weddings include friends and family?) While he's talking, there is a strange coughing noise in the crowd and my friend cannot figure out who it is. Finally, they realize it's the ring bearer, and during one of his coughs, he drops the rings into the knee-high weeds. So they stop the ceremony and spend five minutes trying to find the rings. The officiant never gets back to the friends and family supporting the couple, but it's probably moot anyways. So the wedding party tramps back up to the farmhouse and the officiant leaves. Well, no one is sure what's next because it didn't say on the invitation. So they're all looking at each other and they hear a "hey ya'll" coming from a white tent a few hundred yards away. The DJ says "bring your chairs and let's have us a party". So everyone, including old ladies and kids, drags their heavy folding chair across the dirty field to this tent. The rest of the reception is fairly uneventful, except for the black-clad mother of the bride hopped up on painkillers and making a fool of herself. Apparently, the couple is now divorcing. As she puts it, "we probably could have gotten counseling and worked it out, but neither of us really wanted to put in the effort. It's just easier this way". |
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My parents married on the way to an April fraternity formal in lovely Seguin, TX in 1963. They kept it "secret", and planned a big wedding - until Mom became preggers with me in August - kinda scotched the winter wedding. (!!!)
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Thought I'd bump this for more awful wedding stories. The only one I've heard about since then would be one my daughter went to in which a large warehouse was beautifully decorated to look like a winter scene. Then the bride comes down the aisle *dressed like the White Witch from Narnia*. My daughter's teenaged brother-in-law, who has Down Syndrome, made some loud and very audible comment about it and so did his dad in trying to shut him up and their whole family was leaning over in the pew laughing hysterically and silently. As I recall, the women said that their tears of laughter destroyed their makeup.
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