Ummm that's not the definition of remarriage, sounds more like divorce. But yes in order for me to "remarry" I would have had to have a marriage which had previously ended. So your question as to if I had been married was silly...:D

Ok. You must be a few steps short of reason to honestly believe that a person through a lack of self love invites pain. I would whole heartedly agree with you if you said they ACCEPT ill treatment because they lack self value. But the fact remains that no matter how much you love yourself, it will not stop your spouse from cheating. No matter how much you love yourself, ith will not stop your mate from diving head first into a bottle of whiskey. Self love is not the issue. What we are dealing with is the fact that the relationship and family structure of our people is on a speed boat to hell and some of us are enjoying the ride. That my friend is the real issue.

id rather be miserable alone...

ive been alone. its not fun/easy, but i learned so much about myself that it was worth every lonely night. besides, i was 21, 22, who needs a full relationship at that age?

Me and my girlfriends were discussing this topic a few days ago. 1 never married, 1 still a newlywed and myself a product of a failed engagement. The only thing we could come up with is that our current society just does not promote marriage as a viable option for young couples. You see so much propaganda against marriage that most people just feel it's not worth it. It has become more of a legal partnership than a true relationship. Unfortunately I have also been exposed to women being victims of their "social status". Myself and the other single friend are in our early twenties, working on advanced degrees and are in the process of owning property and buisnesses; this alone will cause the average man to feel like he can't bring anything to the table so why try? Men ask me what I'm looking for in a man and I say " to be confident in yourself and comfortable with who you are" Thats all! You'd be surprised and the number of men who decide thats too much!!!

Shiiiiiii, it's pretty obvioius them niccas haven't been hangin around the right women. LIKE ME. *ahem* :rolleyes: My vagina, mouth, and recturm is lined with gold.. I was going to go into more detail, but remembered that this is GC, and some of us are saved.

Right..:rolleyes:Hey fella's, if you want some free milk...

Geeze, I wish you could have told my ex that...

Beware fellas, last i knew that milk ain't been pasteurized!

( ::whispering to ShamikaT "you done turnt 18 yet?" :: )

Yeah, probably the gold that turns whatever body part it comes into contact with GREEN...:D

Shamrock Tease, Shabby Thief whatever the hell your name is, here's $20. Go see my cousin K-Roc at the trap house and get your issues worked out.

They gonna gets some free milk alright. I link my VA* to frozen yogurt with surp, strawberries, and pecans. What man would keep their spoon away from this?

*Virginia

I'm almost 23. :confused:

Now, I ain't into any 'tutin, but exchanging my boo'kay of silky purple iris flowers for a little cash won't hurt me at all.

So...back to the subject at hand.

[hijack]Why does ShamikaT remind me so much of Alexyss Tylor? :D [/hijack]

The Aristocracy...
 

I don't know your situation or for that matter much care. You asked a question then retorted to my opinion. I responded in kind. My "bad", I should have played nicely in the sandbox, stayed quiet and not repond to your utterances.



WAIT!!! :mad: ARROGANCE DOES NOT = SELF-LOVE. ARROGANCE, as what you are displaying is thinking you are above God, Himself. That is idol worship. That's false. That is not self-love.

Self-love is about respecting yourself and trusting yourself ENOUGH so that even though you are vunerable to attack, you TRUST that your partner will do right by you... That is ALL YOU HAVE GOT! THAT IS ALL YOU CAN DO!

The other person in your RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU CHOOSE TO PURSUE AND MAINTAIN--because really, you did not HAVE TO ABSOLUTELY MARRY THIS PERSON? NO ONE PUT A GUN TO YOUR HEAD SAYING, "MARRY THIS PERSON, NOW DAMMIT"--she was broken before you met her... And you cannot fix when the other person is not ready, period.

So when someone cheats, when someone drinks: ALL SIGNS are present before you sign ANY paper legalizing the thing.

Your problem was you FAILED to get full disclosure before you sign the life-long mortgage agreement...

Yes, I sure you did EVERYTHING in your power for this woman--I am assuming it was a woman. But this woman, was a pained person before you married her. Now, is it your job to fix it? HAYLE NO! That had nothing to do with your LOVE of HER. What is has to do really, is you CHOSE that foul situation because basically, did you TRUST yourself to ACCEPT the CORRECT AND BEST woman in your life--Hayle, did you TRUST GOD ENOUGH? Did you allow enough SELF-LOVE of yourself based on God, to let Him grant you the right mate? I don't care about your answers to these questions, but are you asking these questions of yourself?

God don't make no mistakes... Which means, this little incursion in your life was a LESSON for you. Did you learn it? I don't need to know THAT answer, but are you asking that question?

Lemme tell you: rather than attacking and insulting my intelligence and experience, you need to re-evaluated yourself a tad bit and realize that all things in life cannot be blamed on the outside. Some things take introspection of one's self.

It sounds like you or your buddies want PowerHouse sistahs, some of us reside on GC, but if you all want better relationships, then improve your Gameplan, advance to the higher Echelons, upgrade to the high stakes tables and Ante up. Because, really, debasing me with your words makes your game sloppy, which has nothing to do with your looks, but more with your intellect, your credit report and psych evaluation...

i couldve sworn in another thread a while back that you were 15 goin on 16...

you know, that statement just turned my stomach a little. im not even kidding.

May uncle always told me that you can't stick your nose in every flower you see...just because it may look pretty doesn't always mean it smells good!

Babe. You chose your screen name correctly because just like a Monet you should be interpreted from afar. Honestly you've missed every clear point that I have made. Your advice is so faulty and riddled with pitfalls. And your weak attempts at insulting me just make you appear to be even more of an idiot. Honestly it's time for you to hear the POP. What pop? It's the sound you'll hear when you finally pull your head out of your @$$. I would rather take relationship advice from Liz Taylor than a dillouted self-loathing sicko like you. I could honestly see cats taking to the streets in protest if all the useless things you've said were printed and used to line their litter boxes. So instead of Monet why not follow Van Gogh. Get the sharpest object you can find, but don't cut of an ear. CUT OFF ALL YOUR FINGERS AND ANY OTHER BODY PART YOU CAN USE TO TYPE ANOTHER ASSININE POST. YOU SORRY WASTE OF PROCREATION!

I send you all my love.

:confused:You don't know a single things about me so you chose to assume. Well guess what assuming will make an @$$ out of you, not me.

Thanx and good day....:D

You have much to learn my young padawan...

And what you know about reality is limited...

Take care of yourself as always and I hope God blesses you and keeps you...

My prayers are sent up to God in Heaven for your soul.

I have no love for your hatred toward the divinity of my creation.

Insight is not your forte.

Your points lack clarity, your ideas are falsities and your arrogance though brutal shows your superfluous joculance.

Too bad you lack faith. I guess you actually are a sadist. Continue your pangs and abuse...

Keep up the great posts! The more anger your writing has, the more I learn about you... ;)

Nakambuka
Assante
Akeerah
Ashe

Why? I have much more fun now then I did in a dysfunctional relationship. I am enjoying this period of "aloneness" in my life, because while I might be along I am not lonely.

Are you here in MN?

Why do folx feel the need to put God onto another person in their posts to make their point? Let's just talk human to human. Not everyone on her believes in God, or Christ. So to use your beliefs to put someone else down is unfair. And my guess is God doesn't want to have anything to do with GC since he is not a member of a GLO.

Yes, you are right. For effect, I should have changed my challenges. Unfortunately, Marquise has decided to questioned my integrity and my exisitence in this world and I take that personally. It pains me that he outright hates my living in this world that I thought we had to share... Suspend your thinking that he actually does disagree with me, which is fine by my accounts, but he simply does not state why he does, point by point. Rather, he levels personal attacks.

Granted, I did do an invocation, maybe my bipolar has kicked in and yes, I understand that is improper. As a scientist, I must concede that point and I choose to be fair. And I also think that when we discuss matters of the heart, we either review it as an entity beyond our grasp of knowledge or purely a mechanical pump needed to circulate blood... Since we are avoiding the discussion of cardiovascular biology, something I know A LOT about, and discussing something beyond our grasp of knowledge, I took it to a higher state of Spirit...

I do have one question though: Is there a different viewpoint one could take?

Women I have no hatred for you. I'm just stating the obvious. YOU'RE DUMB! I think anyone can scroll back and see how clear I have been on simple issues. You think you have the E=Mc2 of Relationships. You've given the worst advice I've heard since reading Teen Magazine while waiting in line at Wal-Mart. Honestly the only reason I am responding to you is because I have a weakness for abusing idiots. I find it quite amusing to watch those who think they know so much make a fool of themselves. You have been quite amusing! You have questioned the validity of my marriage history, my belief in God, my integrity, and even in a weak attempt my sexuality. Am I offended? Of course not...you don't know me. But what I have now come to wonder is if you suffer from some rare form of mental retardation that causes you not to see the moronic things you post.:confused:

LG I know you've watched the Miss America Pageant. It's like an unwritten rule. "If you make a dumb or racist comment, TALK ABOUT GOD AND WORLD PEACE":D:D:D:D

*Marquise falls on floor and screams like white girl from The Crucible/Salem Witch Trials*

She's pinching me:eek:. AHHHH!!!! Pins and needles under my skin! WITCH!!! WITCH!!!! WITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:D:D:D:D:D

All I know is that I'm about to set a lot of my Sorors and Sistergreeks against me when I tell you that your post is on point. It's not about a "role" in the sense of "women wash and cook" and "men make the money", but more of the woman sometimes allowing the man to take the lead. When I stopped looking for a man, or a husband, that's when HE came TO ME. ;)

<-------Not against you Soror:)

I totally agree with this also. It's kind of funny, once you are single, you are faced with two choices - to bemoan your status daily or to accept the opportunity you have to now focus on yourself and learn who you are. I chose the latter and the idea of a relationship freaks me out a little cause I don't want someone coming in and messing up my life

Thanks Soror!:)

Wow. A woman that wants a man to take the lead? Women usually jump down my throat for voicing my opinion on this. I think that's why the divorce rate is so high because men won't take the lead. That's Biblical. It's the man's job to take care of his wife. It's not her job to take care of him. Women aren't designed to take on the load. Women get frustrated and stressed when she feels she has to take on the load. I agree with you all the way. In a marriage a woman has the option if she wants to work or not. I know this sounds crazy but if she doesn't want to work, then the joker she's with needs to do what he's gotta do to make ends meet. Now, of course if she does want to work then that's always a blessing, but she doesn't have to. That's all I've ever seen my dad do, was lead the family. Sons are going to do what they see their fathers do. I was raised to lead. The problem is finding a woman who wants to be led. Today's women say "I can take care of myself. I don't need a man to take care of me." That's part of the problem. Any man that lets his woman lead him, in my book is one sorry poor excuse for a man.

The Bible says wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands. It also says submit yourselves to one another. That doesn't mean for the man to submit to her lead, it means he is to submit to her needs, and she will submit to his lead.

Just my two cents on the subject....

I was raised by a mother who grew up dirt poor with no father, so she taught me the "take care of yourself, don't depend on a man" mantra. Once I got older and started having relationships, I realized that I had to tailor it a bit. Its true that I don't "need" a man for financial reasons, and I would never date someone who looked at me as a source of financial gain. But in a relationship, while the financial part may not be needed, I need him to give me other things, both tangible and intangible.

In general, I find these kinds of conversations to always end up on the money issues, and a lot of times a woman saying "I don't need a man to pay my rent or my car note or whatever" gets construed into "I don't need or want a man for anything", and those are two different things.

Its also been my experience that there are some lazy men out there, who simply don't want to take the lead, for whatever reason.

Young man, please, you would want to PM me at your earliest convenience. This conversation needs to be offline.

Who do you think you are to say such thing to me with your kind of tone? You also do not know me, nor what I am capable of doing.

I would sincerly appreciate it.

I will no longer post in your venue until you respectfully respond to me via Private Message.

Thanks.

And it took me a loooong time to understand all of this. I was a single parent for a while before I met my husband. It was hard to transition from being totally in charge of my household to allowing my husband to be the head of the household. It took some work, (and we're still working on it daily), but it can be done.

Good post and as a women I agree, provided you understand that this biblical principal places a requirement on the man...as long as you meet that requirement we are good to go!

Exactly. It's not easy. Some men think it's easy but it's not. Hint, we're XY a woman is XX. This is crazy but it's true. In a marriage/relationship that man has to do his best to understand his wife/woman. He has both chromosomes. Male and female. She has female only. I'm being a hypocrite because I still don't understand women, but I'm, working at it.:o:) That's why it's a man's job to submit himself to her needs not to her lead.

God never gave direction to Eve. He gave it to Adam. What happened when Eve ate of the tree? Nothing. Remember, they still didn't realize they were naked until Adam ate it. That's when they both became ashamed. God asked Adam, not Eve why he was hiding. He gave Adam the dominion. A lot of people think it was Eve's fault. Wrong. It was Adam's fault. It's because of Adam that we live in sin. The same thing goes today. If the man isn't leading and taking care of his wife financially and spiritually then he's the Adam. When things go wrong, it's his fault, of course unless he just has a jacked up woman who doesn't love or respect herself. Men, love your wives like Jesus loved the Church and died for it. That's a lot, but God expects nothing less. Just my 2 cents.:D