Understatement of the year? :D

Few do, Soror.

http://img.timeinc.net/essence/image...ug_180x240.jpghttp://photobucket.com/albums/v285/sgrho//image087.gif

Well sweetie, it's cause' you look like one. Standing there, lookin' like ya' gonna to shoot someone.http://smilieshq.com/smilies/rolleye0001.gif (what is that sticking out of your back pocket?)

hilarious!

This was so well said and profound Ladygreek! I also know tons of females that are willing to hook up or marry guys that are just shells. That's not me at all and I choose not go that route.

I also agree with the majority of the women here who say that these men probably like the wrong women.

Lastly, DSTChaos where do you live because I'm not surrounded by those "plethora of men" you were referring to! ;)

Those guys just seem like your every day guy. Nothing really "wrong" with them.

BUT....

The article tells a little about them and lists some of their nicer qualities. You'll never see a singles profile that lists flaws. Maybe these guys have unmentioned flaws that keep them from attracting someone long-term.

Of course, I am married, but I don't know a whole lot of women who are so shallow that they would give the "excuses" that these men claim that women give them.

Oh, I didn't see this one...sorry ladies, but I'd date him. :o LOL

I'm not too good just genuinely not interested. No one had that something that makes you interested. I know I couldn't fool with the clubster. I'm not too sure I could deal with the airline guy either. If you are like that, you don't need to use things to your advantage.

@LG's conversation, I've been thinking about that a lot lately. It just seems so easy for people to find relationships and ultimately get married. I guess I missed that class in the years of schooling LOL.

He might be handsome. Can't really tell based on the pic. I only date men who aren't stuck with the "professional look" 24/7.

He doesn't look like a thug to me at all. I know thugs who wear suits. However, my men have to wear Timbs, tennis shoes, and athetlic gear on their off days. Save the slacks and suits for when they are at work or going to a casual dress venue.

Now if he ACTS like a thug, I wouldn't even kick it with him. Or if he has jacked up teeth (including diamond or gold teeth) because good teeth and overall hygiene are some of my requirements.

But based on his description, I'd "date" him. However "date" to me isn't anything serious. :) Whether I'd COMMIT to him would depend on his other qualities that weren't discussed and whether he's someone I'd care enough to mention to my mother. ;)

Which would explain why some of you feel you can't be so judgmental and discerning. ;)

Good point.

Unfortunately, many women haven't mastered the art of DATING. That's why they go into these casual interactions with unmet expectations.

Men tend to know exactly what dating means:
We hang out and are cool with each other and THEN see where it goes from there. No real rules unless we articulate them later on when and IF we decide to do a RELATIONSHIP. Until then, don't get too comfortable or excited because not many of my friends and basically none of my family will be told about you. That's because you aren't the only person I am DATING. :D

Exactly. Can you submit that one to Webster's? I think its a more appropriate definition :D

ETA: (LOL at your signature! "I went to go get my rollerskates and right there on the form it said 'Have you told your parents that you're gay?'")

Isn't this the equivalent to what folks used to call "talking"? eg: Jessica has been talking to Ramon since Jan. but also has been talking to Bob since Nov.

I will contact Webster's immediately. :D

I cracked up!!! They are sooo stooopid. LOL.

I guess.

Even then people got confused between "talking" and a "relationship" with high expectations.

Soror, I don't know what's funnier? Your statement or the little thugged-out smiley. Haha!

Now, he does look like someone I know (and probably would have dated some years ago). This is a very good thread and to answer the original question:

Hell yeah. for so many different reasons.

You have a point.

To respond to this column, none of these guys appeal to me. I feel like there should be some physical attraction and there are no sparks for me. Additionally, I'm not about to date a dude that looks like a thug or who clubs all of the time. So I guess I fit into the same category as the majority of women that they've encountered before.

I get play all of the time from guys here, but most of the men are not on the same level as me. I'm not needy for a guy so I thank them for the interest and push on. So many men have games and I don't have time for that. I've been down that road before (remember the Too Much Baggage Thread? :rolleyes:). After Mr. Too Much Baggage, which was three years ago, I've decided that I will not settle any more. So while my friends are getting excited about the Konclave being here this summer for the sake of seeing men, I don't share that same excitment because when it's my time, it's my time. God knows how to work His magic.

DITTO to everything you posted ^^.

I agree as well. I can't stand a Prep all the time. I need you to know how to get around the hood if needed :p My husband never was the preppy polished type nor the thug, he's rough around edges but passed the cucumber test.

Cucumber test, do you know the difference between a cucumber and a zuchinni (sp?)
Yall thought the cucmber test was something else ;)

See, I can.:) I guess I'm just old school that way. I don't mind jeans and a Harvard sweatshirt on the weekend but the clothes need to fit and he better have some khaki shorts. Doc’s and Tim’s are OUT.

Physically, Robert's the only one who does anything for me.

:eek::eek:
Just kidding, if my husband ever bought a pair of jeans to "fit", I seriously would not roll with him :p. I don't want him saggin but just a little room is very neccesary. We lve down South so Tims aren't a big deal but Jordans are.

WE ARE HERE!!! Sag is a bit much to me now, but PLEASE have some room in your pants...call me shallow or whatever, but I briefly dated a guy who wore his pants fitting and it drove me crazy!! That plus his all around "squareness" did that situation in...I need my man to be able to handle himself if something happens to pop off...but not be a thug either...I need a healthy balance...

Okay, because every blue moon I roll where the possibility of something popping off can occur! :D

Y'all are hilarious. Men's pants don't need to be too tight -- I definitely agree with that.

EXACTLY!

Ladies, I never thought I would marry a "Dr."--yes, he is a veterinarian. But I had promised myself NOT to marry a "Dr."--Ph.D., M.D., DDS or both. Ironically, I married a DVM. But we had a lot in common at the right time.

Timing is everything to a man.

My husband was tired of trying to figure what women wanted and he looked like a lighter complexion version of bachelor #1. Then, he had "craters" on his face due to ingrown hairs and poor shaving techniques...

YES, I cleaned that up about the time of our first 2nd wedding (search, I explain somewhere around here).

And search my other posts before 2003, I cried all kinna pink and green tears lamenting my lack of ever finding a mate.

So, I think the issue with these bachelor descriptions are fine including pictures and all. But, really, it does not give you the full flavor and excitement about "being" with that significant other.

Moreover, some ladies here need to know, all men come with idiocrasies. It is a matter of what is your "dealbreaker" and how much you are willing to tolerate and yes, settle.

Actually, let's change that settling word to collaboration--not compromise, but collaboration...

Very well said, Sistergreek AKA_Monet.

LOL! I agree. :)

Age: Ties into the topic
 

So ladies, how much of a compromise is age?

As of late, older men (33-38) have approached me. A lot of these men are really nice too and actually bring a great deal to the table. But then there's the possibility of them having children or being married before. I'm 27, no children, never been married, so I don't know how I feel about getting involved with someone with that history. I've always said that I don't want to play mom to someone else children, especially if the children are with the fathers. Then too I have met a wonderful guys with children but that question keeps popping up in my head. What do you do? :confused:

As long as you aren't old enough to have been a grown man when I was born. That means I wouldn't date men who are almost to 50.

I love men in the 37-43 range. That means you were 7-13 when I was born. :D

Del, we are in the same boat. I think my compromise age range is between 5 to 8 years older. I would even consider going up to 10, but I feel like that's pushing it. I'm weird when it comes down to age!

As for kids, there was a point in time that I said I would never date a man with kids. Then, it seemed as if EVERYONE that I knew and/or met had a kid. There was some sort of baby boom in the late 90s! So, I pretty much decided that I had to get over it and deal with kids. However, as I have broadened my horizons and have met more people, I have come to know that there are still LOTS of guys out there WITHOUT kids.

Being as though I have never had kids of my own, nor do I have experience with a lot of kids, I don't think that I want to date a man with kids. If he was worth it, I would consider it, but I would rather they be small kids. I don't rock too well with juveniles or pre-teens, especially if they have a crazy mother. They are in that age range where their mom can plant wicked things in their head and they can act a fool. And I'm the type of chick that will act crazy right back with them! You can work with and mold toddlers.

Ultimately, my choice is to say no to kids.

This is a very interesting thread and your comments have been thought provoking.

Give me an intelligent, self-sufficient, articulate, and jack of all trades blue collar man any day. My honey is two years older than I am, former military man, has been successfully employed as a mechanic for over 25 years and has a high school diploma. He makes more money than I yet he is more emotionally attuned to me than anyone other men I've dated in the past including college educated men. He has emotionally supported me since I began working on a graduate degree in January 2006. Looks fade overtime and people grow tired of playing games. Yes, my honey wears his work uniform daily yet I know in the evening that he's there with me.

Just my .08 cents.

Chaos and RefinedDiva, I totally agree with your perspectives. My sister and I are seven years apart and we get along very well, so I know that a guy seven or eight years older than me is not too old per se, but 15 years down the road that age gap would be significant! Ultimately, I need to ride the wave and let God show me who He wants me to be with. If he's older, okay. I'll deal with it.

Now, as far as kids are concerned, here's the deal. Y'all please don't laugh or think badly of me, but if guys are 35+ years old and never been married, I start to question his sexuality. I know that's wrong, but that's just the society we live in. It's really sad that women have to think about these things, but I do. I can't wait to hear how you all feel about that. I mean am I the only one that does that?


Mariet, I agree with you 100% as well. Girl, I'd date and marry a man blue collar brotha any day as well. As long as he has goals and knows how to treat a queen, we're good.

I would be thinking the same thing. Maybe not married but to be 35+ and an African American male and to have never been married or have kids just seems rare in this day and age.:confused:

Or divorced.:(

2 years below and 4 above for me. Kids? Nope unless they come out of me. I also said no to divorced guys. Too much baggage for me. I'm super picky but I can live with this and the fact that I dont date much. It's what you are willing to put up with. I'm liberal about a lot of things but when it comes to men, I'm straight old school. Forgot to add, I agree with you

I don't understand why people see an issue with men being 30+ and never being married.

How many 30+ (black) women are there that we come across across everyday that aren't married? Plenty. There's nothing wrong with their sexuality or anything of that sort. People's lives just map out differently. There's no biological clock that tells people when they need to get married (or have children).

And many people will never get married. I don't assume there's something wrong with them, either.

And you're right. Our society has holdover attitudes from back in the day in that if (for women) you're not married by x age, you're an old maid. For the guys, either you're gay or mentally unstable, or a mama's boy.

I would have to agree with you. I know a few men that are 30+, single, with no issues. Just like women, there are men out there that have characteristics/qualities that they are looking for and do not want to settle, regardless of age.