Another way to phrase your desire for leadership might look like this:
I am really looking for opportunities for leadership. I was president of the debate team in high school and I really liked seeing the other members really thrive individually as our group succeeded. I think your sorority can offer me some great opportunities for that sort of bonding because you all seem so close and build on each other's successes so well.

You want to be a leader but you are in no way insinuating that you need to fix them.

But seriously, what sorority women are looking for is friends. All the other stuff is frosting.

Word.

When we were really deliberating, one of my chapter sisters used to say, "Ask yourself: do you want to brush your teeth next to this girl for the next 3 years?"

Nope.

This right here. DeltaBetaBaby is exactly on point. I wholeheartedly agree with her. I wish you the best of luck with your recruitment!

Here's a thought:

I enjoyed friendships with other girls my entire life (starting with Brownies, going on to Job's Daughters, and other organizations as well) and wanted that to continue when I entered college. I knew that I would have that in a sorority. It was a safe haven for me from the large, impersonal University. Going to school with thousands of unknown people was intimidating - but was made much friendlier when I joined. I knew that at some point during the day I would run into another sister on campus and I would feel "at home" and "connected." I had seen what sorority women had (watching at Cal Berkeley, as well as watching the older sisters/friends I knew), and I wanted it.

I didn't think about philanthropy at the time, or leadership. I thought about friends. I thought about being part of a group, and belonging. AND yes I did think about parties - that was part of the equation. It wasn't until my senior year that I began to grasp the "lifetime membership" thing, and I saw how much I had been changed by my years of membership (including living in the house and rooming with a cross section of sisters, not always by their or my choice!). It was really about being friends, through all sorts of situations (some of which were pretty unpleasant). I liked what I saw, I wanted it, and I learned how to be an adult friend (corny, okay - but true, I had to learn!).

I'd want to know how they build and maintain friendships day-to-day. That's the bottom line for me.

I concur, AZTheta. I went from a small Catholic girls' boarding school with 44 in my graduating class to the University of Alabama. I wanted and needed that connection and feeling of belonging that I had had in high school. Even though I was much closer to home at Bama than in St Louis and had an aunt and uncle in Tuscaloosa, I really needed that experience. And after 51 years of membership, I still have it!

I want to echo everything AZTheta has said. I also want to note that women need to keep an open mind about going through sorority recruitment. At the end of the day, you are all still NPC sisters. Trashing other sororities is never good and I'm not saying you would do that. Some of my best friends and people I can lean on happen to be in different sororities. One of my favorites is actually a Kappa Alpha Theta sister and while we are not sisters in Theta together, I am proud to still call her my NPC sister. She knows who she is ;).

Is this normal for schools? I went through recruitment last year and i'm doing it again this year and we there wasn't a presentation about finances and it wasn't talked at any house I went to.

I'm sure people asked, but it wasn't explicitly discussed and stated to everyone.

I don't go to a southern school, but now i'm curious if it's inappropriate to ask.

Our Greek life office used to have information with every chapters dues and fees, but now they just have an average of what it would cost.

I think a range is very helpful, because at least you know the top amount you'll have to pay. I don't know if I'd ask more specifically than that -- you run a fine line between being justifiably curious and raising suspicion that you might not be able to afford membership costs, and will drop after the chapter has "spent" a bid on you.

Personally, I wish all chapters would share financial specifics. It helps chapters and house corporation boards stay in line with each other.

Yes, for me first and foremost it was the friendships, and friendships with women I had much in common with. I had also been active in various activities since elementary school, and part of my attraction to Chi Omega was that so many were involved in campus organizations outside of the sorority. Scholarship was VERY important, something else I wanted to maintain.

I had the same two roommates the entire time I lived in the house. They weren't necessarily the sisters I was closest to, but that was fine as we all got along with each other and it was a peaceful living arrangement. I am a night owl and they were morning larks, but it really didn't matter. I would leave the room at night when they were ready to go to sleep and they were quiet for me in the morning. Many of us night owls would find ourselves in the stair wells for late night chats, where many of the best conversations took place!