that was kinda crappy for your Rho Chis to say that - putting a little doubt in your head like that.

question: with the "decline with regret" part, is that a nicer way of say "sorry guys, if things worked out differently i wouldve come to your next rounds" and this way you stay in their good graces? i wonder why you would have to stay in good graces if from that point on you would not receive a bid from them.

if that's correct, is there a "decline without regret" option, which would mean "no way in hell i'd come back, it just wasnt for me?"

Exactly. We called it "regret with interest". "Regret with interest" meant "I do like your sorority, but I have to cut someone because I got too many invitations." "Regret" means "NFWIH would I join your sorority."

If you just "regret" instead of "regretting w/interest" are you still considered to have "maximized your options?"

okay, i know that you are busy going to the fraternity parties and picking out your next days rush outfit, but we need an update!! ;)

After Post Office...

I head back to my dorm room. I'm looking forward to Phase B and going back to the houses! On my way to the dorm room, I bumped into Steph. She asked me how things went...I filled her in on my invitations and who I decided to cut. She looked at me somewhat dumbfounded and said "you cut Waylon Smithers?" I could tell that she disapproved. I shrugged and said that I liked the other houses I was invited back to better. She shook her head and told me that I was crazy for cutting one of the houses on sorority row - said I'd probably regret it later.

When I get back to my room, I start to wonder if I know what I'm doing. Everyone keeps insisting that there are "good" houses and "bad" houses, but I don't really see it. I've met a lot of nice, interesting people the past couple of days, and all of the houses are big and gorgeous. (Well, I haven't seen Moe Szyslak's house yet since they did Phase A out of a fraternity house. But all of the other houses are nice.) I guess I've noticed a couple of houses that seem to have a lot of really pretty girls, but I didn't necessarily have any more fun at those houses than the others. There must be something I'm missing - everyone else knows more about sororities than I do, so maybe I'm just not picking up on something? :confused:

I wish I had an exciting or intriguing answer for you, but the boring truth is that my birthday is March 14th. :o:)

Phase B, Day 1

I'm a mix of excited and nervous about the Phase B parties today. I'm definitely looking forward to all of the house tours, but I'm starting to feel some doubts about the whole process. A week ago, I didn't know the first thing about sorority life...now I know just enough to be confused.

For the first day of Phase B, I'll be attending the following chapters:

Nelson Muntz
Ned Flanders
Moe Szyslak
Sideshow Bob
Carl Carlson
Milhouse VanHouten

Nelson Muntz I had a good time at this house - the girls were very fun and laid back. Loved the house tour.

Ned Flanders Had a good time talking with the girls here - the girl who gave me the house tour was also named Susan, and we had awesome conversation. I felt like I had known her for years. The house was beautiful - the decor was a little too...pastel...for my tastes, but it was very tastefully done. (Anyhow, what was I expecting? Its a sorority house - of course it might be very pastel and/or feminine. :) )

Moe Szyslak This was my first time in this house - Phase A was in the fraternity next door. I see why we wouldn't have fit here for the Phase A parties - its a very small house. More like a regular student rental house than the other sorority houses. I think the girl giving me the tour said that 12 people can live in. The girls were very enthusiastic and seemed really fun though.

Sideshow Bob The house tour was interesting - they have something called a dormer. Apparently the day rooms are for studying, hanging out, etc. and everyone sleeps in one big room. I'd never heard of such a thing before, but the girl giving the tour said it was nice b/c you didn't have to worry about if your roommate was on a different schedule from you. (Interesting...my roommate now is the biggest morning person, she's up at 7 am blow drying her hair in our room and is in bed by 10 every night. I like to stay up until at least 1 or 2. Too bad we don't have a separate sleeping room!) The girls here were very friendly.

Carl Carlson Had a good time here. They have a very nice house. I think I see Suzy's roommate, but don't get a chance to say hi.

Milhouse Van Houten The girls here seem like a lot of fun. I was mildly distracted on the house tour by a giant crack running down the wall. (Which is odd for me to notice b/c normally I'm not detail oriented about stuff like that. Must just be getting tired b/c this is the last house of the day, so my mind isn't focused.) Still a very nice house though - its fairly new, I think. And the girls are friendly.


And finally...the day is over. 6 houses down, 6 more to go...

I was just thinking that it was an area code (me being hopeful) because 314 is the area code for St. Louis which is where I am from.

Waiting and ready to hear about Phase B, Day 2!
Hope you can spare some weekend time to update. :)

Phase B, Day 2 update to come this evening. (Have to run to a soccer game soon...)

I did meet someone new from down the hall tonight. Her name is Bethany - she's a senior and on the gymnastics team, so I haven't bumped into her yet b/c she has been busy. She's really nice though - apparently she was a Tri-Delt, and she offered me some encouragement with the whole rush process.

My friend Gina called to update me on how rush is going at her school. Tri-Delts is her favorite house going into preference. (They only have 6 sororities at her school, so rush goes by more quickly.) Makes me sad that Tri-Delts at MSU closed - Bethany was so nice, and it would have been nice to end up in the same sorority as Gina. :(

i'm imagining Annie - i bet all the sisters break out in song before bedtime in their nightgowns? lol jokes jokes.

i guess its a good way to bond but man those chicks must go at it all the time! i bet it is a hard sell to PNMs in that situation. i'm guessing its a way to save $ and not worry about "filling the house" every rush?

(thread jack)

12/14 chapters at my school are "dormers", including mine. I don't really see it as being very different, or causing more arguments or anything. To me, I think i would have more roommate issues if I had to worry about waking her up at 2am (or vice versa). The house still has a capacity and we still have "full house" point - and it's still a bad thing to not meet it, lol. The only different between a dormer and a non-dormer is where your bed is located.

(end thread jack)

You may have misunderstood my description of the set up...

(I will note here that there were multiple houses on my campus that had dormers, however I only ended up referencing it in my notes for Sideshow Bob b/c it was the first house tour I encountered it on. So, although you won't see it in my descriptions for other house tours, there were other houses that had dormers...)

In a house with a dormer, everyone still has roommates and a private room with your own closet, desks, dressers, place to sit/hang out, phone line, etc. The beds for sleeping are in one large room (called the "dormer") that is kept dark 24/7 and climate controlled. So, a person can take a nap at 2 in the afternoon in the dormer room without getting in a roommate's way who might want to be studying in or otherwise using your room. If you like to sleep in, you wouldn't have to worry about being disrupted by an early riser roommate, etc.

P.S. My comments above should not necessarily be construed as a hint that I ended up in a house with a dormer. (Or, that I didn't end up in a house with a dormer either.) I had a lot of friends in a lot of chapters, and learned plenty of details about their housing setups throughout my college years. :)

Is it update time now??? Please?!?!!? :) We've been waiting so nice and patiently... :p

ah, I see, so it's like a sleeping porch. There are 13 rooms in our house each with 3 girls but only 1 sleeps in the room (at a time, most people rotate) and 2 sleep on the sleeping porch. It makes sense now.

hmm, okay. so this format works out well also if non-housed sisters (i could imagine that some sisters commute or have their own apt) decided to stay the night?

im still finding the setup weird, outside of my non-NPC scope and what not. but what matters is that it makes sense for you.

Update time. (Hubby and I have a standing Sunday night date to watch the Sopranos and Entourage...had to wait until that was over. :) )

Phase B, Day 2

Today I visited the following chapters:

Artie Ziff
Mayor Quimby
Clancy Wiggum
Lenny Leonard
Groundskeeper Willie
Disco Stu

Artie Ziff Glad I had this house early on the day's schedule. Was the last Phase A party, so I didn't really give it my undivided attention first time around. Probably same thing happened with the girls in the house too. Good house tour, and I had fun talking with everyone here.

Mayor Quimby I'm so glad I got to come on this house tour - it was beautiful. Definitely one of the biggest houses I've toured so far (if not the biggest). Met another person I have somewhat of a connection to here - Jenny from AP Chemistry's older sister. (My junior year of HS, I took a guest class in AP Chemistry at another local HS. There were several small high schools in our area that pooled resources to give students access to a greater variety of AP classes than we would have had otherwise. Jenny and I didn't go to HS together, just shared that one class.) Debbie, the girl I had amazing conversation with during Phase A, made it a point to come over and say a quick "hi" to me, and said she was happy to see me again. I really love this house.

Clancy Wiggum Nice house tour and fun girls. Steph says this is one of the "good" houses, but I don't really see any drastic difference between this and the ones that Steph says are "bad."

Lenny Leonard Girls are very outgoing and enthusiastic. Seem like fun. Beautiful house. I feel very tall here - everyone is so petite. I towered over everyone I talked with today, and I'm only 5'7"!

Groundskeeper Willie House tour was good, girls were enthusiastic. Steph says this is the "best" house, but I'm not sure what to make of that. Everyone's nice, but I feel a lot more relaxed and comfortable at some of the other houses.

Disco Stu Last house of Phase B! I'm not as tired as I was at the end of Phase A - not as many houses to cram in, and not as much walking this phase. Thank god - its hot outside! Girls are super-friendly, and they seem genuinely excited to have me back. House tour was great too - they have huge bedrooms!

so, what are your favorites coming out of phase b? :)

Mayor Quimby is the one I'd most call a "favorite." There's a big group of others clustered right behind it. The only house I'm fairly certain isn't a good fit for me at this point is Groundskeeper Willie. I don't dislike any of the houses, but I don't feel very relaxed and comfortable there like I do at many of the other houses.

then i shall continue to root for mayor quimby and to await the fact that when i arrive home on wednesday after my three days of flying, you will have (hopefully) updated with what happens during the next rounds. can't wait!

i <3 this thread! what a fantastic idea. at seton hall, greek life isn't nearly as big as i wish it was, and i dropped out of formal rush before round one (we signed up before winter break and went to meet the greeks, after break parties started in round one) and went informally later instead. this is great because i get to "experience" formal rush!

Post Office

Today was post office, where we learn which chapters we've been invited back to for Phase C. You can attend a maximum of 6 parties for Phase C.

I've been invited back to the following chapters:

Sideshow Bob
Moe Szyslak
Disco Stu
Milhouse VanHouten
Artie Ziff
Ned Flanders

I'm very disappointed not to see Mayor Quimby on my list. :( I really liked this house, and I really felt like Debbie (the girl I talked with for all of Phase A, and a little at Phase B) and I would have made awesome sisters. She was my favorite individual person that I talked with at all the houses throughout all of rush.

My Rho Chis must be able to see my disappointment a little when I turn back in my paperwork - they're very encouraging and tell me that there are a lot of people who don't even have a full schedule of 6 parties to go back to for Phase C. I tell them that I'm just bummed about one specific house not being on my list - I do like all 6 houses that I still have left. (Guess I should feel lucky about that - seems like a lot of people in my rush group are having to go back to some houses that they really don't like at all. At least I have 6 options that I'd enjoy seeing again. And at least I got invited back to enough to have a full schedule of parties.)

Sigh...I'm still sad about Mayor Quimby, but I guess I'll just have to move on.

for those as confused as i am....
 

Darn, I was hoping we were Sideshow Bob!:)

Actually, the groups were randomly assigned to keep some mystery going - I'll tell everyone who's who at the end, but unless someone who's familiar with MSU's Greek system picks up a clue from one of my posts, it would probably be hard to tell so far. ;):p

I kind of have an idea of who is who, but I am not going to post anything. It's more fun that way. Plus, I may not know for sure and I don't want to be wrong :)

DAMN! No Monty Burns....

i've deleted the post.

I hope you went Ned Flanders! He loves Jesus and so do I!

Update..update...update!

Bumped into Steph in the bathroom not too long after Post Office. (My dorm has community bathrooms.) She asked how post office went. I told her which houses I was going back to for Phase C. It was quite obvious she didn't approve. :rolleyes: I'm starting not to care too much about her opinion though - she's starting to seem a little bitchy to me, and besides...if she knows so much about sororities, then why isn't she in one? :confused: Its pretty ridiculous, IMO, that she only "approves" of 4 or 5 houses out of 16. I guess it does make me wonder a little if everyone thinks that way about sororities. I went into this thinking it would be a good way to meet new people and make friends. But this whole idea of joining the "right" group seems so high school-ish to me. I purposely came from my small town to a huge college specifically to avoid that sort of typecasting. What have I gotten myself into? :(

The other thing I'm concerned about is that Phase C is tomorrow, and I have no clue what I'm going to wear to Phase C or to Preference. I didn't decide to rush until after I moved to campus, and I didn't really bring any dressy clothes from home. I had a hard enough time scrounging together something acceptable for 2 days of Phase B. Need to figure out what I'm going to do - its a long bus ride to the mall, and there really isn't anywhere within walking distance to buy clothes. :( (Other than MSU t-shirts and stuff like that at the campus bookstore.)

Okay ladies...I have an update for you.

Phase C started early this morning, and I didn't go. I got out of bed to get ready and thought to myself "do I really want to do this?" And the answer was no. A tentative no, but still a no. I just have so many doubts about the whole process - I went into rush knowing absolutely nothing about sororities, and I've been getting so much conflicting information. It has been hard for me to figure out what sorority life is really all about, and whether or not its something I truly want to be a part of.

My Rho Chi Jen called my dorm room to see if I was running late. I told her I wasn't running late - I just wasn't coming at all. She asked if I was sure, and I said yes. Truthfully, I wasn't 100% sure, but I had reached the point of no return in my decision...my rush group was leaving the dorm right then, and I had been so torn about whether to go or not that I hadn't gotten ready. I could tell that Rho Chi Jen was a little surprised and maybe wanted to talk through things a little with me, but there was no time for that - the rush group had to leave to make it to the morning's first party on time.

Sorry to disappoint everyone. Maybe sorority life just isn't for me. :(

aww, sorry susan314 - maybe it was for the best. you may find your fit during the spring or during COB? ;)

(waiting to see where this story goes and excited for the next story!)

:eek:

The good news is that we know ahead of time that there is a happy ending - which will make the story as it twists and turns even more interesting!

I bet you can still feel the anguish and doubts as you wrote that....

Thanks for sharing your story - can't wait to hear the rest!

Now THAT is a surprise twist! Take that to Hollywood :)

Do you think Steph's comments got to you? Did you really not have anything to wear? It seems like you dropped out for no reason! :(

Definitely didn't see this one coming. As others have said, we know that you have a happy ending, but it's fun to see how you got there :)

Go Green!!!

I think it was the combination of a lot of little things, rather than having one big reason to drop out:

- I signed up for rush on a whim the day before it started and hadn't fully thought out my reasons for rushing. Nor was I adequately prepared for rush. (Not prepared in the tangible sense - learning about sororities, knowing what questions to ask, planning what to wear. And not prepared in the intangible sense - being emotionally prepared for what rush would be like...the stress, what it would feel like to get cut, etc.)

- Negative influence of Steph certainly didn't help. She had a very overbearing personality. Yet, she was also well-liked on our floor (or so it seemed at the time, anyhow), and she was one of the first friends I made in the dorms.

- Coming to my huge university from my tiny hometown was a total culture shock. (My hometown had a total of about 3,000 people at the time...my university had over 40,000 undergraduates alone.) I was trying to adjust to all the differences while dealing with the stress of rush. Our rush schedule was pretty demanding - 2 days Phase A, 2 days Phase B, 1 day Phase C, 1 day Preference...with a post office day between each of them except Phase C and Preference. The whole rush experience was crammed into 10 days. (If I recall correctly, things changed by the mid-90s...formal recruitment was spread out over several weekends to keep PNMs from getting overwhelmed like I did.)

- I really, truly didn't have anything to wear. :o:eek: Our campus atmosphere was pretty casual, and I knew that going in as a new freshman. (Did an overnight campus visit during my senior year in HS. :) ) So, the dressiest clothes I brought from home with me were just barely suitable for Phase B. Phase C and Preference were on back to back days. I needed to do some serious shopping to find Phase C and Preference worthy clothes at the last minute!

- I suppose my disappointment about being cut from Mayor Quimby didn't help, though I wouldn't say it was a cruicial factor in me not going to Phase C. Although the girl I talked with extensively there basically came right out and told me that she wanted me for her little sister. :eek: (I didn't spell that out in my notes, so I didn't mention it during my description of Mayor Quimby's Phase B party. At the time, it didn't seem like a noteworthy or unusual comment to me - I didn't realize that a comment like that could be construed as "bid promising" or a rush violation. It just contributed to the overall connection I felt with her. BTW - I don't hold that comment against her...I now know that she was a newer member and going through rush from the chapter side for the first time. She was just learning the ropes herself. But, at the time, it hurt to go from having someone in that house "want you for a little sister" to not being invited back. :( )


None of these circumstances alone would have gotten to me, but everything combined started to make me feel stressed/uncertain enough that I ultimately just needed a break. It had been a bit of a whirlwind ride throughout rush, and I needed to step back and figure out what I really wanted before I got in over my head.