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DSTCHAOS 01-17-2007 10:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by OOhsoflyDELTA#9 (Post 1385293)
I didn't put it out there that I was a single parent or "older" when I was trying to get selected...sometimes less is more when you know people will judge you on something about your life
This all goes to show how things vary from chapter and line.

You would've never been able to keep the fact that you're a single parent or "older" a secret when you were trying to be selected in my chapter. :) It's not that people would've used that against you but it wouldn't have been a secret you could've kept.

OOhsoflyDELTA#9 01-17-2007 10:52 PM
^^^^^^yeah I guess it can vary but I attended a mostly commuter
20,000+ student school....I never lived on campus...I was at every program and public community service project and was seen being active on campus...as far as my age, it never came up because I believe I looked younger then I was at the time and it was just assumed that I was in the normal age range of most interests...I can remember being an interest and this one other young lady always started her answers to questions at programs "well I'm 29 and...blah, blah, blah" I would think to myself "why does your age matter? These members are only like 20 to 23"..I'm saying all this to say that I wouldn't have lied if asked but I just didn't volunteer the information...I let my sincere interest and my transcript/community service do what it do..(or did)...

dzdst796 01-18-2007 08:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by OOhsoflyDELTA#9 (Post 1385293)
my line was mad close during our process and I know I didn't share ever imtimate detail of my life with my LSs...from what I've witnessed "coming out" is extremely difficult and it was probably after she crossed when she truly felt comfortable enough to disclose that information...as for putting it out there before hand, I didn't put it out there that I was a single parent or "older" when I was trying to get selected...sometimes less is more when you know people will judge you on something about your life...in my opinion as long as she hasn't or will not do anything that reflects negatively on our sorority I could care less about who she chooses to love...her LSs are the ones who need to be clowned, not her...and being teased at a probate or whatever and thats cool with her sands...wow...I'm not even 5 yet and I guess things have changed since I came through...maybe its not the norm but Ima ride for mine and that would not have gone down without some problems...oh well Soror keep your head up and let the haters hate...remember the fact that unfortunate as it is, every Delta is your soror but not your friend...I'll keep you in my prayers.

I agree with you Soror. One thing my prophytes (Reds6) always told us was to handle chapter business in private. I love all of my line sisters, but we don't all get along. There is one who we really don't care much for eachother but you better believe I am not going to let anyone embarass her or call her out. I'm with you I ride for mine too and always will. I couldn't be a prophyte for this line because I would be clowning all of them.:D

DSTKellie 01-18-2007 10:07 AM
It doesn't make a difference if you came 'out' before, after, during or at anytime of you process. I still think their reaction was PISS POOR! There is a way to disagree with someone's lifestyle without being mean or nasty. You are the VICTIM here! I don't care if were a super close line or not this behavior would not be cool in any situation. Again the best be with you. Do you, love yourself and don't let the drama keep you down.

MeezDiscreet 01-18-2007 10:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS (Post 1385316)
This all goes to show how things vary from chapter and line.

You would've never been able to keep the fact that you're a single parent or "older" a secret when you were trying to be selected in my chapter. :) It's not that people would've used that against you but it wouldn't have been a secret you could've kept.
Same here

mulattogyrl 01-18-2007 10:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DSTKellie (Post 1385481)
There is a way to disagree with someone's lifestyle without being mean or nasty.
Exactly. Some people are mean and nasty though no matter how much 'sisterhood' you try to instill in them. *smh*

Reds6 01-18-2007 11:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dzdst796 (Post 1385461)
I agree with you Soror. One thing my prophytes (Reds6) always told us was to handle chapter business in private. I love all of my line sisters, but we don't all get along. There is one who we really don't care much for eachother but you better believe I am not going to let anyone embarass her or call her out. I'm with you I ride for mine too and always will. I couldn't be a prophyte for this line because I would be clowning all of them.:D
But Steph, you all knew each other and we made it a point to know you guys and for you guys to know us before you were selected. :p There's no way someone could have hid they were a single parent. The point of pledging is to build trust as you bond and learn about your sister. Staying strong and enduring.

Krisco 01-18-2007 11:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Krisco (Post 1384937)
I also am curious about why you choose Delta Sigma Theta. What were you looking for in this bond that could not be found elsewhere in life?
Hope you were not offended when I asked you these questions, it was because you are a neo and you 'seemingly' are in search of acceptance in the midst of all the undue anguish you are experiencing. I wanted to know exactly what drew you to Delta, nothing more nothing less, everyone has their reasons. If you chose or chose not to share that is definitely your perrogative, but as a neo be prepared to answer to some Delta somewhere that question, + many others 10 fold!

I

Reds6 01-18-2007 11:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS (Post 1385316)
This all goes to show how things vary from chapter and line.

You would've never been able to keep the fact that you're a single parent or "older" a secret when you were trying to be selected in my chapter. :) It's not that people would've used that against you but it wouldn't have been a secret you could've kept.

Exactly! But hey we are always on the same page. ;) I would look at my LS differently if she a child and didn't share that with us. Having a child is a huge part of who I am, so by not sharing that with my LS's would be like not allowing them to bond with me and know who I am.

Reds6 01-18-2007 11:54 AM
I'm sorry I just don't believe the OP. Look at the language. Again why bring this dilema to a board you have never been on? Why not take it to the Soror that wrote your financial?

How many Sorors would vote for a gay applicant? So I understand not disclosing it then, but after making line why not share it with your LS's if you felt so strongly about them knowing?

DSTCHAOS 01-18-2007 12:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reds6 (Post 1385590)
Exactly! But hey we are always on the same page. ;) I would look at my LS differently if she a child and didn't share that with us. Having a child is a huge part of who I am, so by not sharing that with my LS's would be like not allowing them to bond with me and know who I am.

It's a huge and POSITIVE part of who you are. ;) And it isn't something that could've been swept under the rug because your experiences from day ONE will be shaped by factors like having a child and being older than the average student (but on of the points of commuter campuses is so that nontraditional students can still find their niche, so I'm not sure why being older would have been conceiled, either).

DSTCHAOS 01-18-2007 12:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reds6 (Post 1385597)
How many Sorors would vote for a gay applicant? So I understand not disclosing it then, but after making line why not share it with your LS's if you felt so strongly about them knowing?
I would vote for a gay applicant as long as (she excelled in the other requirements and) I didn't see her as a flamboyant caricature and think she was going to use Delta to champion gay rights. Just like I don't like flamboyant heterosexuals who use their organizations as excuses for hypersexuality (i.e. fraternity men humping whipped cream in stepshows).

If folks want to casually talk about things using pronouns (per Senruset's post), that's fine with me. But I don't want to hear ANYONE go on and on and on about their sexuality or who they're dating. As if that's the main point of their existence.

Reds6 01-18-2007 01:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS (Post 1385623)
I would vote for a gay applicant as long as (she excelled in the other requirements and) I didn't see her as a flamboyant caricature and think she was going to use Delta to champion gay rights. Just like I don't like flamboyant heterosexuals who use their organizations as excuses for hypersexuality (i.e. fraternity men humping whipped cream in stepshows).

If folks want to casually talk about things using pronouns (per Senruset's post), that's fine with me. But I don't want to hear ANYONE go on and on and on about their sexuality or who they're dating. As if that's the main point of their existence.
;) ! Exactly, I don't think its about her being gay, its more about hiding who you are. It tells me she didn't have faith in the bond she was seeking and trying to build. If you don't feel like a group of people would accept you for who you are why join?

ColorfulCre8ion 01-18-2007 01:11 PM
Ok let me clarify a few things. It is very hard to determine when someone who is homosexual should come ‘out’ about their sexuality. There are a lot of psycho stressors (I’m a psych minor) that can plague one’s mind. I decided that that was the time. Now, please understand that when I told them I was not expecting them to throw me a gay parade, give me rainbow balloons, hug me and tell me how great it is that I am lesbian. Definitely NOT! I am much smarter than that. I didn’t even expect them to “accept” my lifestyle. My choice of telling them was so that they were aware that I live a slightly different life than they do. Other than the fact that I like girls, nothing else is really different. I am still a black female. I still deal with the stress that black people face everyday. I am still a college student and deal with the hassle of classes and trying to graduate, so I really don’t understand what the big deal is. I was however not expecting for them to out right dog me and mistreat me. I know that a lot of people do not agree with homosexuality and I am ok with that but I was TOTALLY NOT expecting this response.

To answer the question about why I chose Delta ( and know I was not offended by that question and yes I know that I have to be ready to answer that), I wanted to become a member of Delta ever since I was in high school. Even when I was unsure about my sexuality I was sure that I wanted to be apart of this sorority. I was a huge community service guru, every Saturday and Sunday I was out in our community completing projects and I ran into a lot of Deltas. I was enamored with their dedication to service and sisterhood. From that moment I knew that this was something I was interested in. I am also a big history buff so I started doing research and reading books and I was more so impress with the rich history of Delta. Anyway there are many reasons why I chose Delta.

I posted on here for a couple of reason I was looking for support, advice and to vent and all three were accomplished. In a situation like this I have tunnel vision, because I truly feel helpless so to hear opinions, encouragement and suggestions from other Sorors and Sistergreeks was truly appreciated.

Reds6- I am not sure I understand what you are saying. If you see a discrepancy with anything I said then please PM, thank you!

Reds6 01-18-2007 01:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion (Post 1385636)
Ok let me clarify a few things. It is very hard to determine when someone who is homosexual should come ‘out’ about their sexuality. There are a lot of psycho stressors (I’m a psych minor) that can plague one’s mind. I decided that that was the time. Now, please understand that when I told them I was not expecting them to throw me a gay parade, give me rainbow balloons, hug me and tell me how great it is that I am lesbian. Definitely NOT! I am much smarter than that. I didn’t even expect them to “accept” my lifestyle. My choice of telling them was so that they were aware that I live a slightly different life than they do. Other than the fact that I like girls, nothing else is really different. I am still a black female. I still deal with the stress that black people face everyday. I am still a college student and deal with the hassle of classes and trying to graduate, so I really don’t understand what the big deal is. I was however not expecting for them to out right dog me and mistreat me. I know that a lot of people do not agree with homosexuality and I am ok with that but I was TOTALLY NOT expecting this response.

To answer the question about why I chose Delta ( and know I was not offended by that question and yes I know that I have to be ready to answer that), I wanted to become a member of Delta ever since I was in high school. Even when I was unsure about my sexuality I was sure that I wanted to be apart of this sorority. I was a huge community service guru, every Saturday and Sunday I was out in our community completing projects and I ran into a lot of Deltas. I was enamored with their dedication to service and sisterhood. From that moment I knew that this was something I was interested in. I am also a big history buff so I started doing research and reading books and I was more so impress with the rich history of Delta. Anyway there are many reasons why I chose Delta.

I posted on here for a couple of reason I was looking for support, advice and to vent and all three were accomplished. In a situation like this I have tunnel vision, because I truly feel helpless so to hear opinions, encouragement and suggestions from other Sorors and Sistergreeks was truly appreciated.

Reds6- I am not sure I understand what you are saying. If you see a discrepancy with anything I said then please PM, thank you!
Ok, so I'm confused. If you weren't expecting the best why are you now so distraught about their reaction? Do you think they are pissed because they may feel you weren't totally open with them or that you are gay? I would not have not voted for you if you were gay (white no), but I would would wonder if I really knew you, justified or not. Also everyone's comfort levels aren't the same. I guess I'm also confused about what role Nationals would play. Are they supposed to conduct sensitivity training or suspend the members that didn't respond favorably? I do however think Delta business should be in house, and I don't condone the behavior of the chapter just as I don't condone this issue being posted here.

ColorfulCre8ion 01-18-2007 02:06 PM
So if you don't accept someone's lifestyle then you have to mistreat them?? You can verbally express that you don't accept someone's lifestyle and then leave it at that. Its how they handle their unacceptance that I had an issue with NOT THE MERE FACT THAT THEY DIDNT ACCEPT IT. Again you can dislike someone but that doesn’t give you the right to mistreat them and that was my issue. I don't understand how you could not understand the difference :confused:

I know that Nationals cannot solve anything, which was the information that I received from posting on here. Prior to posting I wasn’t sure what to do because I had talked to prophytes, my advisor, and others and the behavior still carried on. This is why I sought advice to gain insight as to what to do next because I was confused, hurt, angry and a host of other emotions.

I didn't disclose any information about my chapter, school, or anything so as far as I am concern the issue is still 'in-house'. I was seeking advice for myself and I received that. (Thanks to those that gave me some)

So Reds6, if you don't have any pearls of wisdom to give.... then I no longer need to hear from you, thank you!

DSTCHAOS 01-18-2007 02:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion (Post 1385671)
So Reds6, if you don't have any pearls of wisdom to give.... then I no longer need to hear from you, thank you!
Now, hold up. You've been a Delta for a day and you're coming at someone who has been a Soror for over a decade. Ignore her posts if you choose, but slow your roll because she isn't coming at you like that. You might've had a difficult time being a lesbian Delta but I damn sure know you were taught about deference. Or, I hope you were.

As far as the rest of your posts, I understand that you expected them NOT to mistreat you and for them NOT to sit around while you became the joke of the campus. You didn't think they'd be a huge fan of your homosexuality but they'd at least accept you and be there for you to talk to them. I completely understand that. I say give it time and hopefully they will learn from this experience as you are. They may look back and slap themselve in the face for their reactions. Just be prepared to be open minded and forgiving. :)

Reds6 01-18-2007 02:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion (Post 1385671)
So if you don't accept someone's lifestyle then you have to mistreat them?? You can verbally express that you don't accept someone's lifestyle and then leave it at that. Its how they handle their unacceptance that I had an issue with NOT THE MERE FACT THAT THEY DIDNT ACCEPT IT. Again you can dislike someone but that doesn’t give you the right to mistreat them and that was my issue. I don't understand how you could not understand the difference :confused:

I know that Nationals cannot solve anything, which was the information that I received from posting on here. Prior to posting I wasn’t sure what to do because I had talked to prophytes, my advisor, and others and the behavior still carried on. This is why I sought advice to gain insight as to what to do next because I was confused, hurt, angry and a host of other emotions.

I didn't disclose any information about my chapter, school, or anything so as far as I am concern the issue is still 'in-house'. I was seeking advice for myself and I received that. (Thanks to those that gave me some)

So Reds6, if you don't have any pearls of wisdom to give.... then I no longer need to hear from you, thank you!

:rolleyes: I think I stated I didn't condone the behavior of the chapter.
Also you don't have to disclose the name or location of the chapter, to know where it is; especially if you are being ridiculed on campus. I guess you would be the only person on this national site from your school,right?
You asked for thoughts and opinions and I gave you mine, whether you want to read them or not. Apparently you are looking for validation instead of insight or opinions, in that case don't post personal situations on a message board and ask for feedback. I asked questions because I question the validity of the post, not that I condone someone being mistreated, so don't get it twisted. And spare me with the pearls of wisdom remark, I'm approaching 12 years in Delta, not a semester. :rolleyes:
Look I can care less who anybody is licking or sticking on a daily basis. Just like I wouldn't go out and announce I'm hetro, why feel the need to announce you're gay. Be you, be owt, and if you feel the need to talk about your girlfriend do so without looking for validation from others.

Reds6 01-18-2007 02:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS (Post 1385688)
Now, hold up. You've been a Delta for a day and you're coming at someone who has been a Soror for over a decade. Ignore her posts if you choose, but slow your roll because she isn't coming at you like that. You might've had a difficult time being a lesbian Delta but I damn sure know you were taught about deference. Or, I hope you were.

As far as the rest of your posts, I understand that you expected them NOT to mistreat you and for them NOT to sit around while you became the joke of the campus. You didn't think they'd be a huge fan of your homosexuality but they'd at least accept you and be there for you to talk to them. I completely understand that. I say give it time and hopefully they will learn from this experience as you are. They may look back and slap themselve in the face for their reactions. Just be prepared to be open minded and forgiving. :)
:D Hey she doesn't know discretion, so I really don't expect her to know deference.

dzdst796 01-18-2007 03:55 PM
[So Reds6, if you don't have any pearls of wisdom to give.... then I no longer need to hear from you, thank you!
[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

OK. Now you have crossed the line. I fully understand that you are dealing with issues on your yard and like I have told you in my PM's if I was your prophyte I would definitely address your line sisters behavior. But when you make a snide comment regarding my PROPHYTE (Reds6) I must draw the line. Don't get your panties in a bunch because you don't like what she is saying. You state you posted on this board because you needed some guidance and from what I have read you have been given some - regardless of whether it is helpful to you or not. Like I was taught you listen to all information and you take from it what is useful and disregard the rest.

P.S. Just like I said I would ride with my line sisters that also goes for my prophytes. We are not called Wreckin' DZ for nothing. ;)

ladygreek 01-18-2007 04:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Krisco (Post 1384937)
I think that one of life's biggest misconceptions is assuming. As much as I know and love the fact that my sorority is based on CHRISTIAN principles, I refuse to judge people.
What's the correlation here? We are based on Christian principles--not Christian scripture.

*Okay I know, that's a whole 'nother discussion that has been hashed and rehashed on here* LOL

dzdst796 01-18-2007 04:11 PM
And another thing you have been a Delta for a minute so you need to slow your roll and keep in mind that this light crap compared to other issues you might face - Like if you road trip to Jersey. You run into me and my line sisters I can tell you that being gay is going to be the least of your problems. You need to make sure you know your Delta info and review our P&T. Yes I am pissed. :mad: :mad:

ladygreek 01-18-2007 04:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tld221 (Post 1385206)
since we always compare seeking membership to a job interview... would you tell the person you were interviewing that you were gay? or on the final interview? or your first day of work?
At first glance I thought this was a good analogy and would still think so if the issue was she had lied in her interview. (Which couldn't have happened anyway.) But where it then fell short for me is that once you are online the job analogy is no longer applicable.

I do agree with Shid's comments, but I also understand what my sorors are saying, because we all know what goes on in our process.

Very honestly, I have not commented about the scenario before, because it involves my sorors on both sides and I do not want to pass judgement without knowing the other side. Especially when one side sounds so extreme.

ladygreek 01-18-2007 04:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by laylo (Post 1385214)
If/When you lost your virginity, would/did you tell your girlfriends or your parents? If you'd gotten pregnant in highschool or college, wouldn't your girlfriends' reactions have been much better than your mom's?
Bad analogy. Your girlfriends were probably doing the same things, so of course they would be sympathatic. :D

mulattogyrl 01-18-2007 04:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion (Post 1385671)
[COLOR=black]So Reds6, if you don't have any pearls of wisdom to give.... then I no longer need to hear from you, thank you!
Respect those that came before you. Be blessed. :)

ladygreek 01-18-2007 04:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reds6 (Post 1385587)
But Steph, you all knew each other and we made it a point to know you guys and for you guys to know us before you were selected. :p
:eek:














:D

Reds6 01-18-2007 04:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dzdst796 (Post 1385745)
And another thing you have been a Delta for a minute so you need to slow your roll and keep in mind that this light crap compared to other issues you might face - Like if you road trip to Jersey. You run into me and my line sisters I can tell you that being gay is going to be the least of your problems. You need to make sure you know your Delta info and review our P&T. Yes I am pissed. :mad: :mad:
;) Get it said! Awww my Neos! :D

Reds6 01-18-2007 04:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladygreek (Post 1385753)
:eek:

















:D

During Community Service events and workshops of course! LOL ;)

dzdst796 01-18-2007 04:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reds6 (Post 1385757)
During Community Service events and workshops of course! LOL ;)

Of Course!!LOL

dzdst796 01-18-2007 04:39 PM
To the young woman who started this thread be careful what information you share with people because it is obvious that you are not ready to hear what other people think. Like I told you in my PM be proud of who you are, do the work of Delta, and bump everyone else.

I am not feeling you right now because when it comes to my chapter I have tunnel vision especially when it comes to my line sisters and my prophytes. So be well.

Peace

ladygreek 01-18-2007 04:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion (Post 1385671)
So Reds6, if you don't have any pearls of wisdom to give.... then I no longer need to hear from you, thank you!
:eek: :mad:

BTW there is no such place as Nationals in Delta.

DSTCHAOS 01-18-2007 04:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladygreek (Post 1385740)
What's the correlation here? We are based on Christian principles--not Christian scripture.

*Okay I know, that's a whole 'nother discussion that has been hashed and rehashed on here* LOL
I knew you'd pick up on that. ;)

dzdst796 01-18-2007 04:43 PM
Just one more thing don't stop posting because we are getting in that AZZ. ;)

ladygreek 01-18-2007 04:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dzdst796 (Post 1385776)
Just one more thing don't stop posting because we are getting in that AZZ. ;)
I'm gonna report you for hazing.

CrimsonTide4 01-18-2007 04:58 PM
Wrecking Delta Zeta they don't play:D :p

dzdst796 01-18-2007 05:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladygreek (Post 1385779)
I'm gonna report you for hazing.

OOPS. My Bad Big Sister.:p

MeezDiscreet 01-18-2007 07:11 PM
Sorors schoolin' and wreckin' about deference!!!!!! I LOVES it!!!!! I think I want to make a trip to Jersey and meet a few sorors!

DSTKellie 01-18-2007 07:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion (Post 1385671)


So Reds6, if you don't have any pearls of wisdom to give.... then I no longer need to hear from you, thank you!
Whoooaaa!! Hold on. Now I was on your side and I admit that what happened to you was very unfortunate but please believe that is no reason for disrespect! I understand that you maybe angry and frustrated but watch your tone and remember that no one on this board has insulted you or mistreated you. We don't know you so there is a lot to be asked and assumed just from your posts.

Remember Humility! My mother taught me that as a child, even if I was having a bad day, I BET not eva' disrespect her.;)

Best wishes to you.

ColorfulCre8ion 01-18-2007 07:20 PM
I apologize Soror Reds6. I was rude and out of line and I sincerely apologize to you and other Sorors.

DSTCHAOS 01-18-2007 07:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeezDiscreet (Post 1385873)
I think I want to make a trip to Jersey and meet a few sorors!
Bring your pepper spray. :p


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