My parents weren't against me joining a sorority, but they were somewhat resistant to the idea at first for several reasons. One of which being the stereotypes, and another was the cost. As a junior, joining a sorority was not an expense they had planned for ahead of time.

I talked to them about it gradually and involved them in the whole process. I visited our Greek Affairs website with my mom, pointed out friends of mine who were in sororities, and gave them links to the national websites of all the sororities on my campus. And throughout rush, I would call home each night and tell my parents what I had done that day and how I was feeling. It wasn't until a few hours before Pref Night, that both of my parents told me to go for it and not to worry.

I think the logic behind it was to see how badly I really wanted it. If it was just an impulse they could talk me out of, or if it was something I was really willing to stick out. A few weeks ago, my mom told me it's the happiest and most outgoing she's ever seen me and that they definitely made the right choice in letting me join.

Long story short, it's definitely possible to win over parents who aren't exactly thrilled at first, just try to keep them as informed as possible. Good luck! :)

I think I should at least keep them informed, at least that is the best course of action. :)

My parents weren't supportive, but I decided that since I was paying for college that I would be making the decisions on how to spend my time and my money, especially since I was working my way through. On Bid Day, I got a really nice surprise: not only did I get my first choice but my parents were so happy for me that they paid my entire first semester's dues. After that, they remained a bit skeptical of the value of my membership, but we won them over during Parents Weekend. Since then, they have met my Greek friends and sorority sisters, and have come to see it is a supportive and enriching environment.

My parents arent really that supportive. They think that its dangerous, because they believe the things that are shown in movies. But, they can trust that if I was in a situation where there could be physical harm that I wouldnt just go along with it. Its dissapointing to me that they think so badly about an organization that Im looking to join myself with for life, but hopefully with time as I go through rush and then hopefully new membering (keep your fingers crossed) they will understand.

My dad was totally supportive because he is a TKE. My mom, however, was not at all supportive because she wasn't in a sorority and dated a TKE. Apparently, the sorority women at that time (late 50's) weren't too pleased that a GDI was dating a fraternity man and treated her poorly. Once I had joined though, and she had attended our first Mother-Daughter tea, she was so impressed with the women in my chapter that she became very supportive. She is still supportive as I'm involved as an alumna now. She recently said "I think that sorority thing you do is a really good thing".

I would most likely discuss it gradually with your parents if I were you...just as I will as well.

Please don't be the person who rushes first and then tells your parents that you just pledged. It doesn't sound like this is your plan, but remember that it takes a spot away from someone else.

Some chapters may have a delayed payment plan to ease the "pain" of joining although they may have rule that when you pledge, all outstanding monies have to be paid before you "walk down the aisle" or whatever at Initiation..once you are initiated, it may be easier to be approved for a promissory note or whatever.

Yes, GPA is very important. Most chapters have specific rules about studying. For example, let's say that a group has a rule that those below a 3.0 have to do some proctored hours each week..the farther away you are from the 3.0, the more you have to be proctored.;)

Yes, it's cool to see some famous person and be able to say "that's my sister or brother"..even though you'll never actually meet them. Of course, it's also neat to find out that the person living across the street is your sister or brother".

And it's fun when you "meet" on GC and then actually meet them in real person.

An update.
Well, I've just seen my fall semester grades and they are below par...except for one class, luckily enough. So I think I'm going to rush next year, because by then, I might have better grades by then.

Well, fortunately I had a mother and father who were both greek and were encouraging me to rush since, oh about 5th grade lol... I was told about the high ideals of scholarship to the Greek Community, the involvement, etc... I was rushed by my own parents lol!!

But... I had an Aunt who was against me joining anything... she basicially said that greek organizations focus on drinking and partying... and that certainly isn't true... people, like my aunt, who aren't greek, will generalize and make assumptions...

I definitely encourage you to go through recruitment! It's a great way to meet people and a wonderful way to get involved on campus... if your parents are still adamant on you not joining a greek organization, check and see if there is a parent's guide to Greek Life in your Student Life office... I know at my school there are plenty! This helps parents get an insight to what Greek Life promotes and eases them a little bit...

I agree with Delta Beta Baby, don't be the girl who pledges and then has to drop because she didn't tell her parents... that only makes things worse for the sorority and you :) I'm sure you won't, but it's better to tell them upfront than to lie to them... it happened to a girl in my pledge class when I pledged in Fall 2005... not pretty...

Best of Luck to you!
-Kalyn

Yes, get those grades up! And you will also have more time to talk to your parents about greek life... again, please check in your student life office for a parent's guide... I work in the student life office and we gave out a BUNCH for the girls this fall.

Thanks...I'll definitely look into it. :)

I would do it. The way I look at the entire rush process, even if you don't get a bid. You will make lots of friends with other people that you meet through the whole process for instance, I've been at my university for four years and I'm still interested in going Greek as a result. I now have over 200 friends that are Greek, and I still haven't received the bid into a house. It's about the people you meet even if you don't get accepted into the Greek community. They know that I will be rushing every semester and I'm not worried whether or not they think I'm crazy for going through rush. Hopefully one day, I will get in is n. In my head. It's only a matter of time before the bid is extended,

I rushed and didn't tell my parents (they didn't want me to join anything) but a) I was 20-21 at the time of pledging b) I didn't expect them to (directly) pay for it, c) I was living on campus (normally I commute) at the time so it was easy to hide and d) i didn't expect them to pay for it (directly). If you, yourself, and you can fund it and you're over 18 then when you are ready to rush, then go ahead, but since you're concerned about grades, save up your spare finaid or pocket change, etc. so that way you don't have to worry about what anyone think when the time comes.

p.s. my mom found out after initiation when I came home to stay over the break (the dorms were empty :( ) by then I didn't care and she didn't get mad because there wasn't anything she could do, but she doesn't like it and calls it "my cult" and i wear "cult shirts" and sing "cult songs" so be prepared for some kind of backlash!

hope i helped!

It depends how low your grades are and how competitive your school's greek community is. If you are below the panhellenic required GPA, wait until you get your grades up. If you are just at the minimum for many of the chapters, then go ahead and sign up. You have nothing to lose. Worst case scenario is that you will have met a bunch of new people and have extra motivation to imporve your grades for the fall.

Have you talked with your parents yet?

Not yet, technically...I will most likely be rushing next fall, so I'm focusing on studies first. But yeah, I plan to talk to them in the coming months.

My lil lil went throught that
 

When my lil lil pledged she did not tell her parents that she was doing it because they were against it. It was hard for her to keep it a secret, she even had to take down sorority decorations in her room before her parents came up to visit. Bottom line, her parents found out after the dues checked cleared and it really wasn't that big of a deal in the end. I think they were more hurt that she didn't tell them, rather than being upset that she decided to persue membership in the sorority.

Follow your heart in making the decision whether to persue membership in a sorority, but either way you need to be honest with your parents. You only live life once, so I say persue your dreams because you don't want to look back at your college experience with "I wish I would of done...."

That's true. I really wouldn't want to remember my college experience and think about what I should have done...that really wouldn't make me too proud of it.

I've decided on a course of action recently.
I am going to register for rush for next fall after the semester is over technically because by then my grades will be posted, and of course, my grades are really going to be the judging factor in whether or not I'm going to sign up for recruitment.
After that, if my grades are in good standing and I do sign up for rush, then I will approach the matter with my parents and tell them that I want to go through rush next fall and that it will be a great way to meet people. Isn't that what rush is all about, anyway?
Then afterwards, I can explain to them why I want to join a sorority.
It's probably not the best idea, but it's what I came up with.
What do you think?

I think it's a good idea. It gives them a way to get used to the idea. Then you come home/ call them talking about the cool girls you met at rush and they get the idea that not all sorority girls are party girls looking for their MRS degree.

It's not guaranteed that they'll see things your way, but it can't hurt! And I think your idea is a good one.

Yeah. Truth is, I am very leery of approaching my parents head-on with the topic of wanting to join a sorority, so I eventually thought of registering for rush (which I will do) and then explaining to them on why I did it. It may work, it may not work. But at least, I will have made my decision to go through rush.

Good luck :)

Do you have any friends now who are currently in a sorority (sorry I haven't read your thread in a while) they might be able to vouch about it to your parents. Telling them you've been researching it online (aka GC) isn't a terrible idea either. Really we're just people. The partiers would have partied without letters, the rest of us just have fun hanging out :)

Well, I have done a lot of online research on it, actually...such as benefits and the expenses/costs of being in a sorority. So that research will most likely help in the long run.
But as for friends who are actually in sororities, I mostly have non-Greek friends.

Research is always a great idea for recruitment. It's far better to go in with at least some idea of what you're in for. With that said, you mentioned most of your friends are non-greeks. I know when I went thinking about and then going through recruitment, they weren't exactly the most supportive. Several actually said, "that's dumb! Why would you want to be with them?!. Now, some of them ask if I feel they missed out by not going through recuitment themselves...what do you say to that? I tell them it worked great for me, but they also had a great time in college without. (Hindsight is a wicked wicked thing.)

I paid for all my sorority costs myself, because my parents weren't against it, but they sure weren't going to pay for something they saw as "extra." I think they saw the benefits of Greek life after I was in. They are still seeing benefits now when I talk about the alumnae group and connections I make professionally.

I've been also considering how my friends might view the whole idea of me going through rush, but then again, it would be their opinion and nothing more.
I am not too worried yet over the money aspect of membership since I am fairly focused on only rush right now...but I've done a lot of research on it all the same.

Just remember that you would be rushing only for yourself, and not for your friends. If your friends are really your true friends, then they will support your decision no matter what. When I pledged Alpha Gam, I did lose a friend or two, but it turns out that they were never my true friends anyway. Your real friends will stick by you. Good luck with rush :)

Well, that's true. :) Well, if friends don't support any decision that you make, then they are typically not true friends anyway.

I'd recommend waiting for your grades, sharing them with your parents and then after you talk about sororities together, then register for recruitment. There's no sense registering if you can't afford to join a sorority. Yes, recruitment is a great way to meet people, but it is also for those who have the intent to join a sorority. Make sure you have the support of your parents if they are the ones footing the bill, or get a summer job.

Good luck with your grades. Remember that this is also a prime time to get involved on campus and meet some new people, including sorority women.

99% of my non-Greek friends ended up rushing and pledging within 1-2 years of my joining ADPi because they saw what a great time I was having! We all joined different chapters and it was really great to have that connection of being Greek sisters together! Next month, one of the girls is getting married and her bridesmaids are all of us-- a Chi O, DDD, KD and ADPi! :) Talk about a Panhellenic circle!

A benefit that hasn't been brought up too much is the whole networking thing- I know people talk about it, but it really does happen. I helped one of my sisters get a job w/ the company (a major international bank) more than 5 years ago (when we were 2 years out of school.) I got a 3.5K referral bonus and she got a great job- she is still w/ the firm and was promoted to VP this year. That same year I bumped into a guy I went to school who was on IFC we spoke about work & he said he would love to get his foot in the door w/ my firm- I gave him my card, he sent his resume and I got him a job and I got a 10K bonus for that one. Those 2 bonuses more than covered my 4 years of dues!
Even when I was in school I remember helping people find on-campus jobs, etc. I had a great campus job driving the golf course beverage cart- you made a decent hourly wage and got tips- meanwhile it was a job NO ONE knew about on our large campus. I did it my senior year and then handed it down to a few of my younger sisters when I graduated.
I am preparing to move from NYC to a much smaller city, and I have already reached out to women in my chapter who I haven't spoken to in years, to ask for advice on jobs and general info on the area.

I really don't know of many other organizations that afford you a lifetime of nationwide networking opportunities.

Hmmm...well, that does seem pretty logical. Of course I originally planned to wait for my grades anyway, because they will be the judging factor in whether or not I register for rush.
But I guess I could also talk to my parents about sororities...I have done enough research on them as it is...and tell them that I plan to go through recuitment. They have said before that if I want to go for it, I should have the right to make that decision.