So uhm, whenever I make my way out west for hunting and such, meeting brothers from other chapters always make me say "WTF he joined my fraternity?"

But I still don't get why you even care about this situation, unless she's going to join your particular chapter. Doesn't she go to a different school, and wouldn't there be a chance she would join a completely different sorority? Why would you have to deal with her at all?

I am not saying that this girl was in the right for hooking up with your boyfriend, but the blame is just as much HIS. He could have turned her down or chosen not to pursue her. I don't think it's right to sabotage her chances of joining a sorority because your boyfriend chose to cheat on you. I think you should just let it go unless she tries to join your particular chapter.

What if you got into a bad situation with someone who is currently a sister of yours? What would you do then? Would you say that you "wouldn't be able to live" with that woman in your organization? Just deal with it if it happens. You're going to have to deal with people you don't like for the rest of your life.

So, cut them both out or You life!

You really are not in it are you?

They moved on and maybe you should also.

Hell, maybe you have not met the Man of your dreams.:confused:

I know -- I blame him a LOT more, and I would be completely fine with the girl if she wasn't a complete stalker psycho. Whenever I randomly see him or her, I try to be nice, but she's just a total bitch to me.

I don't feel that she would be an asset to the sorority - just a problem.

Then you are within your rights to write the no-rec and send it in... maybe the rest of this discussion belongs in Dating and Relationships. ;)

Michelle,
I occasionally have to write a no rec on somebody. I check the box for "I do not recommend" and attach a Post-It note that says "PLEASE CALL ME FOR DETAILS." That way there is nothing written that could come back to haunt you or the chapter later. If they do not call, call them. (No, I would not e-mail - lingering e-mails are as bad as something written.) When you talk to them, you can outline your reasons. OR you can ask a fellow ADPi to write the rec. Drinking and smoking pot may be harmless to some people, but it's a risk a chapter would take in pledging this person.
And to Tom and you guys, you may think it's no big deal if somebody joins another chapter of your fraternity, but sororities have organization-wide ties and events that may mean you could run into this person the rest of your life.

Yes, I think most of us on this board know that.

However, we ALL have to run into people we don't like, all the time! I don't think this is worth all the worry. Perhaps the girl doesn't even meet the requirements to rush any sorority in the first place. Maybe she doesn't want to join a sorority at all.

This seems like something that a good prank could solve...

Why take the chance?

Don't worry about her!
 

Let's put things into perspective... Does she holds the values of your sisterhoood? Do you think she will appreciate that you will not oppose to having her in your house? Is there any possibility you will bump into her? Do you really think "he" is worth it? Do your really think their values in their relationship are stronger than your values and your house's values?

Move On! Enjoy your ADPi life in college. Perhaps, she is not even thinking about you know. Does she likes to stalk? Don't hesitate to put a restraining order, they are for "psychos".

I would no-rec her. If she never rushes, the chapter never has to use it. If she does, you'll save them from whatever drama she might have caused as a member, and you'll never have to deal with having your sorority represented by someone whose moral character you question. If there's a Sigma Kappa chapter there and you've got friends in it, I wouldn't mind you letting them know, either. :rolleyes:

I completely agree. I would definitely write a letter. If you wouldn't want this girl wearing your letters and representing your organization, then you should tell the chapter that.

Too bad hazing is a felony now. If it wasn't you could really make her work REAL HARD for those letters, if you know what I mean.:p

see....that can back fire if they don't quit....then they get in and you're the jerk, and it's awkward (sp?) for everyone...that's why we have black ball, sometimes its just takes one, sometimes it takes 1/3 of chapter, but those votes can be gotten

i have a short attention span, so i didnt make it thru all 4 pages of replies, so if someone already said this, i apologize.

many chapters across the nation have ways of keeping members out of their organizations through the new member votes. depending on how presigious your organization is (im talking recognition within your national/international organization or on campus, not just how awsome you think your chapter is), you can take steps to developing much stricter means of member selection.

The privledges of being a greek is being selective. Some are moreso than others. A few chapters within my organization have chapters that turn away pledges if they receive as little as 3 no votes, maybe even less. My mind comes to a chapter we have down south with over 90 active members. Our chapter averages about 40 members, and if any pledge receives 5 no votes, they don't get in.

So, if this girl does end up rushing, make sure you come up with a tactful argument against this girl's character, and do it in such a way that it stirs up enough dissention that will fulfill your denial of membership requirement.

God i love being selective.

Grand Valley Sigma Pi-

Congratulations on your chapter's success!

Your signature:
Sigma Pi
Building a New Generation of Leaders

Founding Father,
Theta Rho Chapter,
Grand Valley State University

Since our founding day on 10/26/03, we went from awsome colony to a Top 3 Chapter in our region, and a top 12 chapter in the Sigma Pi Nation. What has your chapter done the last three years?

I believe.


I am an alumna, but I hope that my collegiate chapter has learned to type and spell in the past 3 years. (Hint: awEsome, not awsome)

That is great that you are proud of your chapter and I am sure you and your brothers have worked very hard. I am not one of the "snarky" posters on GC, but when you have a signature and a post as arrogant as these, and you bait other greeks with "what has your chapter done...", you open yourself up to criticism.

And, very uncool to be so indiscreet about membership selection and voting. Obviously I am not an IFC member nor am I a Sigma Pi, so I don't know if that is considered ritual or not, but it seems improper.

Sorry to be such a downer.

I get the impression that in many IFCs, info about MS, such as how many votes it takes to pledge/depledge someone is not ritual-type info. We had an advisor in my college chapter that was a Kappa Alpha Order, and he stated many times that most KA Orders are "one ball chapters"...meaning one "no" vote, and you don't get a bid.

I was always very happy to have been among those who was involved in a major "clean sweep" of our storage area - and was the one who got to throw out the Black Ball Box! Had ebay been around then, I'm sure that it would have fetched a great price!

This type of information could be (maybe still) found on some fraternity's inter/national websites.

That's what he wanted you to think. LOL. Sorry, but that one was too easy.

Just curious. GLOs have the prerogative to make this known. So why shouldn't they be up front with this type information? Other than the usual "membership selection is ritual, should not be public, blah blah blah", why would this be uncool and improper?

some chapters at my school were like that, a lot were actually

Oh, but it is.

I think it would be really shallow to blackball this girl because of your past experiences with her.

By creating new posts and "reasons" other than her alleged drinking and drug habits, from her being "psycho" and insinuating she is promiscuous, really demonstrates that you are out for revenge for her cheating with your boyfriend.

Honey, after you graduate, none of this will matter to you. But it may matter to a girl who may be rejected "simply" because one person had an issue with her.

Be the bigger person and let the chips fall where they may. Remember, adelphae is not just toward your chapter or organization's sisters; all women, greek and non-greek, are sisters and should be treated accordingly.

Kum ba yah, My Lord, Kum Ba Yah....
Kum ba yah, My Lord, Kum Ba Yah....
Kum ba yah, My Lord, Kum Ba Yah....
Oh lord, Kum ba Yah.

I'm superior to you, Kum Ba Yah...
Because I'm more moral then you, Kum Ba Yah...
I'm preaching Agape-love, Kum Ba Yah...
SO SUCK IT UP GIRL! Kum ba Yah....

So you would never "blackball" anyone based on your experience with them? Basically, you have no opinion when it comes to who may join your organization? Oh, by the way, she never asked about black balling. The best she could do is send a no-rec letter.

You mis-read me.

I am saying that the original poster said that her reason was "not only" a personal vendetta. That says it all. If it was purely due to something measurable and unethical/immoral, then that is a different story.

Revenge is not endearing to one's character.

This is my opinion, and not a judgment.

REE1993- knowing what you know now about this girl, would you want her to be a Gamma Sig?

It's still her right as someone who is a part of a selective org. to help "select" who is a part of it. Really, she doesn't even need to have a "reason" to no-rec this girl...it's what seperates us from the Friendship Club.

I would first question the integrity of the information. Personal vendetta is not an acceptable reason for rejecting anyone. That is the bottom line.

As far as would I want someone of questionable ethics and morals to join my organization? Again, it is not up to one person's "opinion". If a person were not up to par with our ideals, her character would surely show itself. I do not think that being "outed" before a person has a chance to prove themselves is fair.

So if what happened to sdsuchelle happened to you, and the girl rushed Gamma Sig, you would have no problem extending her a bid?

No-rec is one thing; sending an unsolicited vendetta letter is another.

Why not?

KLP, Gamma Sigma Sigma is a non-selective organization. If a person wishes to learn and uphold our ideals, we will welcome that person with open arms. We do not extend "bids".

Originally Posted by REE1993 http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/im...s/viewpost.gif
Personal vendetta is not an acceptable reason for rejecting anyone.
I see that my opinion is not the popular one. That is ok with me.
Sisterly,
Ree

I think that's the problem then. NPC organizations do not operate in the same way and each organization has its own method for selecting members. Because it is an exclusive organization, if there is someone whom you think would not make a good member for your organization, I think that you are perfectly within your right to notify the chapter.

It's the difference between selective and non-selective orgs.

Because NPCs are selective orgs, we can no-rec someone if we don't like their shoes. (I don't know personally know anyone who's done that, but theoretically, it can happen.)

In other words, everyone can be given the opportunity to pursue membership.

However, not everyone will be successful in that pursuit.

Correct?

Correct.

It's not uncool or improper. Many fraternities have this information in their Constitutions, By-Laws, General Regulations or the like, which they make available on-line. We've had the discussion here before -- it seems to be one of the cultural differences between (NPC) sororities and (NIC and some non-NIC) fraternities.

Maybe that's the difference because I am :eek: that I have read so many details about what other NPC chapters do for "no recs" or whatever they have called them. I think this has drifted over into details of MS for some people that are posting. Sounds like the OP needs to have a PM discussion with texas*princess, honeychile, and/or adpiucf & let this thread be gone in GL. Maybe head over to D&R and ask the question about who's more to "blame" the "cheater" or the "cheatee" -- that sounds like a better topic for people to debate :cool:

I really don't see what the big deal is. There is an Alpha Phi at another school who I realllllly dislike but I never would've thought of putting in a bad word about her to her chapter. As long as the girl isn't in my chapter, I wouldn't have a problem with it.