What do they do? Do they look at you funny or something?

LOL.:p

KLPDaisy, can you PM me his name? I might know him.

Is there still a group called "CREW" at Bronx Sci? One of my good friends from college graduated there in 1999, and in the yearbook, there was this full-page ad of about 8 Asian dudes in front of a bridge, looking mad gangsta. It was AWESOME and I had a copy of it on my bulletin board for the rest of my time in college.

The Asian Mob? Yea, they're still there.

True, but not only was the comment racist, he/she could have kept it to themselves.

Edited for peace. LOL

My boy Chuck Norris gave me some advice a while back.


"No Asian Girls"

Seriously man. That was some of the best advice ever.

How in the hell was his comment racist? Some of you morons throw around that term so loosely its ridiculous. You act as if its the same as calling someone an idiot.

Why is it SOOOOO wrong of him to say that he would be ostracized if he dated a black girl? Many social circles look down upon interracial dating....just as i'm sure some Greeks would too.....I know it is that way in many parts of the South. Looking down upon interracial dating doesn't make you a racist. Many people are brought up with the notion that it isn't proper.......and there is nothing wrong with that.

rac-ism  /-rey-siz-uhm/ :

1.) hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.
2.) a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.

No, ignorance is never an excuse. It may be an explanation, but it's not an excuse.

Explain to me how that is ignorant.....

Where do these people get notions of impropriety? I mean, upon what are these notions based?

I guess the thing I can't figure out is why is it wrong or looked down upon just because of the color of someones skin. We're all people. It just doesn't make any sense. Don't get me wrong, I'm guilty of it too. But it still makes no sense. I would be kind of ashamed to bring a white woman around a big family function and call her my woman. Don't ask me why, I just would. :o

You'd be ashamed? WOW! If you loved her, what's the SHAME in that?

Hey, those are your feelings and we can't take them away from you. We can mock them and wonder what the heck is going on, but we can't take them away.:rolleyes:

If you can't see why he would be ashamed or feel slightly awkward...perhaps you need a swift kick into reality. It has nothing to do with love.....it has to do with the fact that his family has obvioulsy kept it within their own race and not married outside of the black community.
There isn't anything wrong with that. Its their personal choice....why would you mock them?

Why would a family want to impose shame anyway? It doesn't make sense to me. Is this an issue that requires some intervention on their part? If so, why?

It's not just "their personal choice" when they impose it on someone else.

Its obviously hard to post on the thoughts and beliefs of a certain family. I know that my family would not look too highly upon me if I brought home a girl to marry that wasn't white. It has nothing to do with prejudice or dislike.........it has more to do with the fact that I was raised...and they were raised in an environment that tought that it was far more proper and respectable to marry within your own race. I think the highly conservative social setting that we live in plays a part as well.

I'm not saying that they would treat the girl with disdain or disgust....they would definitely tell me though in private that they didn't approve.

Saying that you'd feel shamed or be ostracized by friends or family if you dated someone of a different race doesn't make you racist. It might indicate that your friends or family could be racist, and it makes you a pussy if you'd actually change your behavior based on that.

What's wrong with that? He's being honest. Let's face it, it's one thing to talk about how diversity is such a great thing but it's another to bring someone home for dinner. I dated a black guy for a bit who ended the relationship by saying that if he ever brought home a white girl, his mother would throw both of us out of the house. His twin brother was the only one in his family who knew about me and he was cool with it, but he was surprised as to why his brother was dating a white girl.

What on earth else does it have to do with if not "prejudice or dislike"?? Proper and respectable? I must say that entire line of thinking disgusts me.

If he ended a healthy relationship because of family pressure, there's definitely something wrong.

It depends on the family. If they're the kind that are constantly in your face and butting in, like the family from Everybody Loves Raymond, then yea, it would be a lot easier to end a relationship than to hear your mother constantly putting down your wife or girlfriend every chance she possibly got.

Family tradition should be left to the family. My parents don't judge based on skin color, but the average black girl (that my parents come in contact with) is not the type of person they would envision me with. Also, perhaps he's just not attracted to black women.

What I understand him to be saying is that because of how he was raised, it wouldn't even OCCUR to him in normal life (as in not just talking on the internet) to date a woman who isn't white. I think this is different from someone (referred to in an earlier post as "pussy") who would change his behavior based on the disapproval of friends and family. That person would WANT to date someone of a different race and wouldn't, based on the judgment of others (inherently lame, IMHO). Macallan would never even have the idea to date a non-white woman. It's just his preference, based on how he was raised. His phrasing here is somewhat inelegant, but I really don't see the problem.

I have a very hard time getting upset about the dating preferences of others. It's not hurting anyone, and everyone should be free to date whomever he or she wishes, right? I personally wouldn't discount someone because of race, but I'd discount lots of people because of religion, and I don't care if anyone thinks that's offensive.

It wasn't.

You will have to learn to do what I do on this board: Ignore some people's sensationalism and outlandish flights of fantasy.

Ah, I'm with you. It's the reaction to family and friends that concerned me about the other post.

Therefore you have answered your own question. It "matters" because people make it "matter." Now, why'd you start this thread?

It's about a combination of race (which isn't always the same thing as "skin color") and social class. If you or your family were exposed to a different TYPE of black person, perhaps your perceptions of blacks would change.

This doesn't mean that you would want to date or marry a black woman, though. That's FINE because there's a reason why black women have a relatively low rate of intermarriage. ;)

My kick into reality tells me that my white wife's (of 9 years) family didn't want her dating or marrying me, to the point where they threatened to cut her off if she did - she called their bluff, because we love each other and we thought that we could make it work. My kick into reality tells me that my family thought I was crazy for dating a white girl, until they met her and fell in love with her like I did. My kick into reality came when my mother sat me down and told me that she'd rather had me dating a black girl, but, "If I loved her, she would too."

That's reality:)

I mock him because he started this thread and then came back and said that he would be ashamed - ashamed of what? falling in love with someone? if he, or anyone else is that insecure about who he is and how he feels about someone, then they shouldn't be bringing them home, much less dating them. I have no problem with you, mac, or anyone else's personal preference about who you date - when you bring shame into it, however, it says to ME that you don't feel that they are worthy of equality in YOUR eyes.

Lastly, mac, if you fell in love with a woman of another race (I know that's not your preference, but hear me out) and you had to quash that becuase of what your family thought, then you weren't in love to begin with and you have no idea what it really means.

Actually, "reality" is that what you posted is YOUR reality. ;)

This is all about social construction. We create this stuff and give it meaning and importance. What makes you tick doesn't have to make others tick.

I agree with the rest of your post although black men and starang21 have always been and always will be more than enough for me. :)

You are correct - I said that my reality was just that - my kick into reality.

This is why I love your posts - you are always right on the pulse of this board.

Keep Smiling

As long as everyone knows that "reality" will always be subjective.

Thanks. Yeah, my post was a little off when I came back to read it. I posted during the middle of class....thoughts were kind of all over the place. I included the prejudice/dislike part simply because I know how some people think on here....and I really didn't feel like having my family called racist/prejudice or some other name because of how they felt about relationships/marriage. Just thought I would add that they were neither of the two at all.

PreciousJeni - I'm sorry that the fact that I was raised thinking that marrying within your own race is proper and respectable disgusts you. There are many things that disgust me.......that are far worse than this.

The problem is that you're suggesting that not marrying within the "race" is improper and not respectable which, of course, is ridiculous and offensive. But, hey, at least you're sticking by your own convictions.

I'm glad you can take around sentences and skew them to make it sound highly negative.

I'm not suggesting anything. I'm not commenting on the grand scheme of things. I could care less who people choose to marry no matter the skin color. I am absolutely not going to judge them, no matter who they are.

I am talking about the wishes of my family considering things such as where we live, where I will more than likely live, our social setting, etc. I don't see how anyone would find that "ridiculous and offensive." Its a personal choice. Who are you to judge?

Because of the way I know my extended family is, I wouldn't want to go seeking to wind up in a serious relationship with someone of a race that would offend them. Why would I want to put someone I loved into that kind of situation, having to deal with that? If it just happened that I fell in love with someone who was another race, then of course I would stand up to my family about it, but I'm not going to lie - I am glad that it's not an issue. To have to drag someone through that kind of intense ordeal seems cruel to me.

Does that make sense?

shhhh......

*blushes*

My boyfriend who is a TKE is white hispanic (Colombian) and I am half jamaican half black American.

It's only offensive if you disagree. He didn't say that nonwhites are subhumans or anything like that.

It all boils down to how seriously you take this stuff and whether you're searching for something to be offended by. You chose to click on this thread knowing that "interracial relationships" would prompt differing opinions to be expressed.

I completely see where you're coming from and agree. EVERYONE has a vision of how they want their life to be. That typically includes even the most minute details of their ideal mate and MOST people in this society envision (and take actions that are reflective of their vision) being in a racially homogenous marriage. ;)

Message to any naysayer: If what I just typed doesn't apply to you or your sister's cousin's uncle, don't attach it to yourself and don't be offended.