Watching the old ones you can see how much they care about each other. They've both been acting sooo out of character this past season and for that I can only blame the Palladinos. I don't want her to see Christopher... he's more of the childhood friend and everytime she goes back to him she gets hurt...

She clearly wasn't pleased at the end of the season finale..

My catholic school had no ruling on saddle shoes, but no one wore them either...

We didn't have rules on shoes until clogs became popular and every girl in my school bought a pair. (I went to a small school so it was the kind that if it was popular, every girl HAD to have it, or else.) Lots of girls running down the stairs in clogs. Not an attractive sound. They quickly got banned.

The Pallandinos weren't writing this season-- they were bowing out of the project and won't return this coming season... I think a lot of the disconnect has to do with the new writer. I do like this past season's storyline of Rory becoming more of an adult and finding her own identity through rebellion.

I have a (male!) co-worker who goes around singing the segue music from the show... "La la la la la...."

In high school I wore loafers. Why? Because my elementary school had a bizarre and stupid statement on their rule book that from 1rst till 3rd grade girls were to wear Mary Janes, but from 4th till 6th they were to wear penny loafers. And my mother always followed the rules to the letter. But in my secondary school, while most wore loafers, a few started wearing Mary Janes or lace-up shoes.

I bought Mary Janes on my own when I moved to FL and started going to college. I bought first a black pair with a single strap, but also later a brown pair with double T-straps. And I have had one pair of each style since.

I don't wear frilly socks with them. More like socks the same color of the shoes when I wear long pants or dresses or skirt. Another librarian was wearing Mary Janes today- black ones with black socks and black trousers. Not easy to spot- but I love Mary Janes so much that I noticed immediately and complimented her on them.

Yeah but they were still in charge. I don't know. I want L&L to be together!

Seriously though he's loved her since Season 1 and she's totally bonded with him back then too... soo.. it has to work.

Why doesn't anyone hire ME to write for the shows that matter ;)

keep it professional.

don't shit where you eat

I actually call it "eating where I shit" but yeah, I'd generally agree with this.

Mary Janes. With socks. In the SUMMER in FLORIDA? On a grown woman who isn't attending any sort of Catholic school or something.

Your higher up was doing you a favor with this reprimand. Out of style, innappropriate for the climate of your area and the season. Also unprofessional looking, in my mind at least.

You see, I sniffle if I do not wear socks. For real. I have tried recently- spent the whole day sniffling. And hosiery does get uncomfortable

My boss found the comment stupid. We dug up the dress code- nothing about socks. The only rules regarding shoes were: no open-back shoes for page/delivery positions (however, many librarians and assistants do wear them), no beach sandals (alias flip-flops, a couple years ago some people did get into trouble for wearing them), and no bedroom slippers (although some of the mules that some people have worn do resemble slippers very much). And at another branch, people could not wear open-toed shoes either. That, and other librarians have worn Mary Janes and/or socks as well- including sandals with socks.

Someone did get sent home once due to a dress code violation- but she was wearing a midriff-baring shirt.

That sounds really strange. Getting the sniffles when you don't wear socks, in Florida in the summer? I'm assuming you mean by that that you got cold. If you get that cold from just not having socks on, sounds like more of a circulation problem.

It may not be address the dress code, but you're a young, single professional. I'd say branch out and try some new shoes. There's lots of fun shoes out there, and there's lots of comfortable fun shoes out there. Try a local DSW. You're in your 20's... you don't want to look like you're a lot older, particularly when you are single and on the lookout for young men.

You're way too young to get stuck in a fashion rut like this.

Wow, I had not heard of my shoes making me look older. The usual complaint from my family is that my shoes make me look like a teenager.

There is at least one DSW in my city. I have never been there, but I should go sometime soon.

If I am outdoors (such as walking to the pool in my complex), I don't sniffle. But indoors with the AC on, I do. I even wear socks inside my house all the time.

Either like a teenager in Catholic school or an older woman. Either way, they're not really fitting for a 20-something young professional woman.

DSW is awesome. Head straight to the clearance rack. Really great shoes- you can get great deals! I've gotten $120 shoes for $20, and other great designer shoes really cheap.

There's a lot of shoes out there that could keep your tootsies warm and still look in style and age and profession appropriate.

I can sympathize- I get cold easily too, and if i'm sitting around (like even last night in the freezing AC in my hotel room) my feet can get cold too. I always wear hose in the office, and that's enough to keep them warm. I understand lots of Florida girls have an aversion to hose, but it helps and it's still professional.

Maybe you need to get up and walk around more on the job? I don't know how much time you're at a desk versus on your feet walking around. Get the blood flowing, warm you up.

We weren't either. The shoe had to be one color (brown or black) only. No white.

Maybe that was their logic. I wore some pretty sweet Minnetonka moccasins most of the time.

I'm not quite sure what's going on, but when I hear socks with Mary Janes, I think of the ZZ Top videos. Or naughty websites.

I had those too. About the comfiest dress/casuals you can get.

ETA: You know you're on GC when a discussion about office romance turns into a shoe discussion.

Mine had an awesome beaded Native American gentleman on them. They were blue and he was red and white - very matchy matchy with the kilt.

Scandia, I understand that you like Mary Janes but if you are having a hard time wearing them without socks, maybe it's time to get some cute, stylish new work shoes! I bet if you make a separate thread about that people will be happy to help you e-shop.

Scandia, I understand where you're coming from. You get COLD. I sympathize. I'm cold in 80 degree weather! And for some reason, the hotter and more humid outside, the colder the A/C inside at work!

Ditch the skirts. You need tailored slacks, button down shirts and sweater sets or fitted cardigans. You can wear trouser socks which go up to just below the knee, and loafers or a closed toe and all over shoe with a little bit of a heel. Knee-high boots and low boots really are only for fall and winter, so you may want to invest in some simple flats for the summer.

I love DSW for shoes. For clothes, Ann Taylor is a great place to start. I used to work at an Ann Taylor Loft in college, and their associates do a great job of helping you build pieces for your wardrobe. It helps to start with a basic dark color like navy, black or brown and build a look around that color with items like 1) Slacks, 2) long fitted skirt, 3) just below the knee skirt, 4) blazer in the dominant dark color. And then going with complimentary shoes-- loafer, closed and open toe heel, sandles, boots. Then finding complimentary tops in patterns and solids and in a variety of colors. There are plenty of books on building a classic wardrobe out there.

The other posters are right. You walk a fine line between the styles you wear as a child, a young woman and an old woman. Your clothes (right on down to your shoes) can make you look old or frumpy, and not like the lovely young woman you are. When you dress a certain way, it can change your entire outlook on life and the way others see you!

If you can't find the right stores in Tampa, take a field trip to Orlando for the great outlet shopping!

Thank you J. Crew:

http://www.jcrew.com/images/nov299/e...338_KC7775.jpg

Classic argyle. Cute. May work better with Mary Janes and still look semi-professional.

Why can't people just be straight up with someone else and tell them the truth?

Scandia you are a social anomaly.

-Rudey

I would only say do the mary jane and sock thing if you are making it really punky. My LSAT instructor wore multistripe knee-high socks with the Doc Martin mary janes. I would never wear that b/c it's just not my style but since that does seem to be yours that's one way to wear it and make it funky, not old maid or childish. But if you want to branch out, like everyone has told you....DSW is awesome! You can get fanastic name brands at reasonable prices. And for something a little bit more stylish, amazingly I recommend Express for some very nice suiting pieces. I got a wonderful suit from there yesterday and it cost hardly anything, in terms of what a suit can cost anyway! I would have never thought I could wear their stuff b/c it's usually cut very small and the pants aren't always flattering on anyone with curves. But I highly suggest giving them a look b/c it's actually very classy and a hot suit can impress a man! :D I know my bf was highly impressed! :)

I'm just going to say that this is based off things you've posted, so I may be way off, but it doesn't sound like you've had a lot of experience with relationships, and work relationships require finesse to handle even if they are good, or even more to handle if they go ugly, really ugly. When you date someone at work, even if it is the most perfect relationship ever you are going to have to deal with your coworkers making comments and everyone being all up in your business. I don't know if you're as open at work about yourself as you are online, but you may work with people who will use it against you. Why not just attempt a friendship with this guy as it seems you have common interests and if it becomes more than friends with common interests look at the situation then.

On to your work attire:
I find it odd that you work in a public library as a youth librarian and they made an issue of socks and Mary Janes. Most public libraries and library staff I've seen really rock whimsical stuff hardcore because of the kid factor. It isn't the way I'd dress, but it always felt like that was one of the only acceptable places to wear vests and sweaters with cats on them or earrings and socks with a shape or design. If you were a plain old reference librarian it wouldn't even be that odd, but a youth librarian it is the norm for a lot of places. One of my bosses is totally awesome, but wears socks with Teva rafting sandals and it makes me super sad :( Maybe you need to write Library Journal to the column on work place issues and they have people write in with their analysis. Just don't wear farm animal toe socks with Birkenstocks (I've seen this before :( )

I disagree. You should dress your age-- those kitten vests and funky socks look ridiculous unless you're a 7-year old child or a 70-year old grandma. Or you're a crazy eclectic punk rocker who can pull it off. I have yet to see a librarian I'd classify in the latter category.

Invest in some age-appropriate clothing and shoes. Look like the 20-something you are, and not a frumpy caricature of your profession.

That's probably because you've got a dirty mind. :p :D

I really appreciate all the advice you have given me about shoes. I love Ann Taylor Loft and shop there too much. I do not wear the "bunny shirts" and other similar things that early childhood teachers are notorious for. I do wear fashionable professional clothes- but that day was a really scorching summer day where what I wore may have been better for the mall.

Anyhow, regarding the original topic, I am afraid that someone else may have snagged the guy already. Another co-worker, that is. He waved to her this morning when she came into the staff meeting. They did not seem to flirt or look at each other or stand next to each other. However, they exited the workplace together today- they came down the same elevator and seemed to be headed towards the same parking lot. It may not be what it seems, but I have a very strong intuition. And I am upset to be honest. I will gladly still pursue a friendship, since we do share similar interests. And I will try my best to see it simply as an isolated event and not in the cosmic sense. I do not have much experience with relationships, but I am a healthy person with many friends who gets along with my co-workers.

Rudey- that's old news. Find something new.

Wow, you are being very presumptuous, I wonder if you're doing it subconsciously as an excuse to convince yourself out of your feelings for him. You have absolutely ZERO indication that anything is going on with them. Men and women can be friends. They can leave work together, they can hang out, etc. without there being romantic relationship involved. I hang out with guys that I work with all the time. It's part of being social and networking.

If you do not have much experience with relationships, you really shouldn't rely on your "intuition" because you don't have anything to base that intuition on.

You don't have to justify things all the time, like adding the qualifier that "I am a healthy person with many friends who gets along with my co-workers." Such a lack of self confidence can really undermine any points you are trying to make or personal relationships you are trying to build. Have self confidence and don't try to frame things like that. As the saying goes, you have to learn to love yourself before someone else can love you.

KDDani- I am working very hard this year on loving myself, so that someday I can love another in a healthy way. I know that men and women can be just friends. I have had platonic male friends- including a pretty close one in college that came to visit me long distance and that I attended the wedding of. I will be seeing another male friend this weekend at a convention.

I'm just not good with the relationship stuff. I do not know how much I should let out, but it has nature and nurture components. And I don't have much confidence, hence at times I feel I do have to justify my feelings and preferences.

Regarding intuition, once I saw the boyfriend of one of my good friends talking to some girl in the bus at UF. Now I talked to billions of guys and girls on the bus every day. They did not seem to be flirting. They were not touching or hugging each other. Conversation was small talk. Yet my gut responded automatically- I got this feeling in my stomach that something was not right between him and my friend. That night, my friend called me to tell me she broke up with him. It has reacted in similar ways regarding breakups of other friends recently. They did not have to say that they were breaking up/divorcing for me to know- and sometimes the hints they dropped were not direct or related at all.

You are right in that this is a slightly different situation, since it involves making a couple rather than breaking one.

And regarding convincing myself out of feelings, at this point it is still feasible and rather easy if he were taken indeed. I tend to lose interest very quickly once I find out someone is taken. However, it will hurt more- since he was taken by someone else he may have met at the same time he met me.

Scandia

You never know til you try. Just still maybe ask him out for drinks or coffee or something. Even if you don't date, you could make a new friend! I don't want to question your initution but this guy and other girl might just be friends. Or he might have been going on a date with her and its nothing serious. And look at it this way, if this doesn't work out for you, it's get you some practice for next time! :)

Well, today the girl he was walking with yesterday worked my desk as the assistant. So I asked discretely:

They both work for the same supervisor and are the only two people under her. So she is doing peer training like I was doing today with the new kiddie librarian.

So y'all were right at least about this part. That does not impede that there may be something else, or that there may be a third person.

If you see me at my job, I appear as the most confident and bold person there. I save my insecurities for internet message boards.

NOT a good idea.

Stay away from co-workers. In the event it doesn't work, you will be subjected to:
a) uncomfortable daily reminders of it
b) if it was that horrible, forced to look for another job

I'd date outside the workplace.


PS: "Appearing" confident and bold on the outside does not make one confident. It just means you're good at hiding your feelings.

I don't know that I think it's possible to come off as confident and bold if you're quite insecure. I could be wrong, but it just doesn't seem likely to me.

Well, I am not quite as bold as the guy who hit on me feeding me those cheesy pick-up lines while at the same time not hiding the fact that he had no car/job/degree/license/career goals and that I would have to pick him up for our date. He did not even get my number- and I blocked his emails/IMs shortly afterwards.

I am not so sure if I like this co-worker that way yet. So this advice is likelier for future reference.

I had to cut my vacation early due ironically to a foot injury that is preventing me from walking comfortably. But if it is healed by this Saturday, I WILL be going to DSW to buy nice shoes. Dunno if to get them in black or brown or what color.

In other words...them thugz from da steets!

You're wearing the wrong hoisery then! Good looking pantyhose can really polish off a work outfit. What is it that bothers you about hose? If they are itchy or the fabric seems off, get yourself some silk stockings... I swear you'll never regret it. I personally don't like to wear pantyhose (the whole sinking-crotch factor), but rather go for stockings that attach to a garter belt. Completely comfy and will keep those legs warm!
www.stockingirl.com has some good stuff

Hey Scandia,
I found a store at the South Coast Plaza that you might want to shop at:
http://www.filelodge.com/files/room1...2/IMG_1711.JPG

ShaedyKD- in the biggest mall in the city where I grew up, there was a store called "Scandia Down Shoppe". I entered it like once.

I did not get my nickname from it- did not come up with it till my sophomore year of college. However, by then I was probably fascinated by Scandinavia and its people.

UKTriDelt- I will need to do some hosiery shopping as well. Something hopefully that does not bother the Greek columns I have for legs.