Originally Posted by Scandia

Hi everyone!

I am interested in being initiated as an alumna into a social sorority of the Panhellenic Council.

I graduated college several years ago and obtained an advanced degree last year. I was in a service fraternity during my college years and enjoyed it very much.

I did try sorority rush, but it did not work out. The timing just was not right on my end. I did not know what I wanted to major in or do as a career back then. But now I am very successful in a career I enjoy very much. So I would like to give Greek life another chance.

How did you find the right sorority for you?

Should I pick one that was present in my undergraduate institution (which is 2 hours away from where I live now)? How about one present in either my graduate university (close to my apartment) or the university across my job (which I have never attended)? Would you recommend a sorority with a chapter within driving distance? One that was present at any of the institutions that you have attended? I did take some courses at a third university in my state, but not for a degree- just professional enrichment.

Should I pick one that invited me back during rush back then? One is still present in my undergrad school but does not have a closer chapter. Another one is not at that school anymore, nor where I got my Masters.

I have gone to the homepages of all the sororities that were in my undergrad school back then, as well as read the information about them in Greek Chat and other websites. One of them that appealed to me back then still appeals to me due to its focus being very similar to my personality. How much would you count this? How much did you count the philantropies? The intellectual backgrounds, and interests of the founders?

Any other factors I should consider? Any major restrictions that you know about? Anything that has changed since I was an undergraduate student?

Finally, what are the involvement opportunities for someone in my situation?

Thank you so much for all your help.

Originally Posted by ariesrising

Before I contacted anyone I'd done literally years worth of research. Even though I thought I knew what I was getting into - alumnae membership as an alum initiate isn't the same as collegiate membership, and it's not even the same as "regular" alum membership. You don't have a bond with these women, who already have one. It can be incredibly difficult to feel like a part of things, even as an initiated sister (and when you're shy like me, it's even harder lol).

I think a lot of the "down side" of AI is brushed under the rug on GC and I feel that PNAMs may be getting the idea that it's all sunshine and roses once you are a successful AI. (Just as PNMs may be surprised with what "real" sorority membership is actually like)

Originally Posted by lake

Yes, yes, yes!! Everything she said - yes!!

The so-called "down side" of AI should be mentioned because it is not necessarily all sunshine and roses (as ariesrising mentioned).

As an example, as an AI I never had the benefit of having a song chair to teach me Tri Delta songs. Another example is I never had the experience of weekly meetings to experience ritual and meeting protocol on a regular basis. You really need to be motivated all the time to put yourself out there and put your best face forward and be pro-active to get things moving initially, even after your initiation, when you may only know a handful of people really well. It is not instant friendships and bonding by any means just because you've gone through a ceremony. You need to establish and nurture that yourself on an on-going basis, which is true for any important relationship.

Did I realize all this before I was invited to membership? Absolutely. I had no illusions whatsoever. I knew it might be awkward initially but I also figured I was motivated enough and loved the organization enough that I would give it my best and make it work. I knew I would eventually come "up to speed" and be a fully contributing member, but that it would most definitely take a lot of work and initiative on my part, long after the initiation ceremony.

Originally Posted by blueangel

Great post, Lake!

Your song chair comment made me laugh. I have the same problem!!! Whenever I go to Zeta Days or Founder's Days, or Officer Training events.. I feel like a total dork standing there while everyone else sings Zeta songs.

Originally Posted by blueangel

Lookie what I found. :D

http://www.ztamsu.com/?p=multimedia

and for you, Lake:

http://www.sjtridelta.org/songs.htm

Originally Posted by lake

Yay! Words to songs!

I've actually been considering buying a tape from Exec Office with some of the more popular or traditional Tri Delta songs on it. Then I could print this nifty list you provided and sing along with the tape. ;)

Is that dorky or what?! :D

Originally Posted by lake

Yes, yes, yes!! Everything she said - yes!!

The so-called "down side" of AI should be mentioned because it is not necessarily all sunshine and roses (as ariesrising mentioned).

As an example, as an AI I never had the benefit of having a song chair to teach me Tri Delta songs. Another example is I never had the experience of weekly meetings to experience ritual and meeting protocol on a regular basis. You really need to be motivated all the time to put yourself out there and put your best face forward and be pro-active to get things moving initially, even after your initiation, when you may only know a handful of people really well. It is not instant friendships and bonding by any means just because you've gone through a ceremony. You need to establish and nurture that yourself on an on-going basis, which is true for any important relationship.

Did I realize all this before I was invited to membership? Absolutely. I had no illusions whatsoever. I knew it might be awkward initially but I also figured I was motivated enough and loved the organization enough that I would give it my best and make it work. I knew I would eventually come "up to speed" and be a fully contributing member, but that it would most definitely take a lot of work and initiative on my part, long after the initiation ceremony.