Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: "national" is not an option...
 

In all honesty, you probably will not get an answer to your critique of NPHC organizations, because no one on this board is qualified to speak on their organization in its totality (meaning that no one has the authority to speak on their organization in an official capacity). All I can do is speak about my experience, and I did, which you must have found unsatisfactory.

I think the other ladies in this thread have made a lot of great points, and that you may have become defensive instead of truly listening and taking in the advice. The questions that we ask are the same questions that will be asked by prospective members. Will you have answers for them?

I truly hope that you come back and re-read some of the responses, to help you and your group truly come to an understanding of what makes you unique.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: "national" is not an option...
 

Woah woah woah. So because we couldn't answer ONE of your multiple questions, you're taking your ball and going home? That's hard to believe. We don't know your campus. But the best advice you can have is do things within whatever rules are governing you by the school. It is not a good idea to start off on the right foot.

And in any event, you yourself said "The only research we need comes from the Word." Obviously not, since you're asking questions here. Your faith can guide you, but it's not going to give you specific answers. Your faith isn't going to tell you what other orgs are out there or what's the best PR strategy.

But I find it hard to believe that you refuse to further participate in this thread because we couldn't answer this question for you. I think you're refusing to futher participate because you can't answer the questions that YOU have been asked.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: "national" is not an option...
 

That's the most ignorant thing I've heard on here...I shouldn't even be entertaining your comment. But I will, because I can.

If you've read this thread, then you should know I've answered EVERY question, replied to EVERY post even the last one by rocketgirl....I just answered her in private because I said "I'm done with this one" twice.

Read everything before you speak. And don't tell me what my faith will and won't do, that's not what's up for question. I asked a simple question, one I'm no longer looking for an answer to.

If anybody has anything else, to say, I'll respond, just as I've been doing.

Lol, see, just getting more and more defensive, aren't you?

I've asked a multitude of very valid questions and made valid comments, all of which have been ignored by you.

Woah woah woah. So because we couldn't answer ONE of your multiple questions, you're taking your ball and going home? That's hard to believe. We don't know your campus. But the best advice you can have is do things within whatever rules are governing you by the school. It is not a good idea to start off on the right foot.

And in any event, you yourself said "The only research we need comes from the Word." Obviously not, since you're asking questions here. Your faith can guide you, but it's not going to give you specific answers. Your faith isn't going to tell you what other orgs are out there or what's the best PR strategy.

But I find it hard to believe that you refuse to further participate in this thread because we couldn't answer this question for you. I think you're refusing to futher participate because you can't answer the questions that YOU have been asked.

Where's the question in all that? Point out the question, and I'll answer it, because I fail to see one. And you don't know me, so can't say I'm being "defensive"...trust, you haven't see me be defensive, and you won't. I'm not stressing, I just have a distaste for ignorance.

Take your own advice and read ALL of the posts in the thread. :) I made 3 other posts in this thread besides that one.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: "national" is not an option...
 

1.) How can I find your experiences unsatisfactory? Explain that if you wish, I don't really need an answer, but that's interesting...Anyway, I was trying to make a point with that comment. The point: NPHC organizations are lacking in many areas (especially when it comes to them being civil with each other), and there is room for improvement. Argue that if you want, but I won't. Can't argue the truth.

2.) Sure the ladies here have made comments, all were appreciated and taken for what they were. Will we take the "advice" and change ourselves? No

3.) All the questions here we've been confronted with before. We have no problems with questions and welcome them, no matter what they are. No big deal, I just wanted to get some advice to the question I presented about advertising. I answered everyone's comments though.

4.) If someone can't see how KAG would be an asset, then we're not the organization for them. We're not pressed for members and don't have the need to reach a quota like some other organizations. However like most organizations, we wish to promote ourselves.

Hope I didn't leave anything unanswered.

I'm at work right now, so I have all the time in the world to answer questions without time restraints so ask away...

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: "national" is not an option...
 

What jubilance was saying is that her story of her experiences was what you found unsatisfactory in regards of refuting your critique of NPHC groups.

Reading comprehension, it's what's for dinner.

You didn't give me anything. I asked about advertising...very few posts on this thread were helpful in regard to that.

And you don't know me personally, so don't say I'm getting "defensive". You have yet to see me be "defensive", and I doubt you will see that.

Thank you for answering those questions. Good luck to you as a pre-law student, but don't sweat the law too much until you get to law school.

<--- newly admitted attorney. (if you have any law school questions, feel free to PM me. Pitt Law Class of '05).

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: "national" is not an option...
 

Ha, that was funny...but If I'm not crystal clear on what someone is saying, I'm going to seek clarification.

You have the choice to seek understanding or assume and be an ass...

And (though I'm not calling anyone an ass, really I'm not. I do all my namecalling outright...), both of you assumed that I found it unsatisfactory. Did I ever say that I found her experiences unsatisfactory? No. If I don't say it, then that's not what it is.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: "national" is not an option...
 

I didn't think anything about what you thought. I don't give a rat's rump, quite frankly.

Jubilance1922 said that SHE believed you found the STORY of her experiences unsatisfactory. If that is an incorrect belief, correct her, not me. I was simply correcting your misinterpretation of what she said in her post...not having an opinion one way or the other.

I love to see women attorneys :)...and I'm going to PM you later with a few questions

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: "national" is not an option...
 

Exactly...it was HER opinion. Unless you're in her mind or know her that well (which I doubt you do...), you can't answer for her.

And I believe I stated that I didn't really need an answer to that question, but she could if she wanted. Never was all that big a deal to me.

Alrighty...I'm back to answer for myself.

As for the part about "unsatisfactory":the1beauty, you made a statement about NPHC members, I gave my opinion, and you never acknowledged it. In fact, you responded with this:

Since this post came many posts after mine, I can only conclude that you didn't find the information you were looking for in it, since you said "Why couldn't anyone answer my questions about the problems with NPHC organizations?" Hence use of the word "unsatisfactory".

Also keep in mind that most people are not going to publicly discuss any perceived problems within their organization.

Oh, thanks. I don't think I gave what you posted much thought at the time because I was too consumed with what the other posts were saying. Sorry about that

I didn't want the "official" view...I've heard that before. But you can only tell what you know, and that's what you did.

Why not? I thought that's what I've been doing here...If they don't address the problems, how do they fix them?

But my comment about NPHC organizations was just to make a point...I know all about them, came a smidge away from being apart of one. But I couldn't get over the fact that we didn't have any rite of passage...I hadn't even gone to many of their events, and I hate to tell you the reason they let me on line. But that's another story...

Mercy :(

Rite of passage meaning hazing??? That's usually what "rite of passage" is equated with in this day and age. And from my (admittedly limited) knowledge of NPHC groups, they actually have quite a bit of things that might be considered a right of passage in a more traditional (i.e. non hazing) sense.

I think you're jumping into a hole that you really shouldn't here.

It's one thing to say NPHC orgs aren't for me, so i'm going to start something that is. It's a whole 'nother ball of wax to keep on trying to insult them. The first option is a little classier.

I knew it!

Thanks for sharing.

Its funny how people who aren't members of NPHC organizations know more than members. And how did NPHC even get into this conversation? Do what you do and leave NPHC be.

What I mean by rite of passage is NOT hazing. I expected something along the lines of passing along traditions or bonding. Didn't get that at all.

And have I said that it would be that way for all NPHC orgs, or even all chapters of that org? No, I'm just letting my experiences be known.

I'm not getting into any hole. I have much class. But I'm outspoken - If I have something to say, I'm going to say it.

As far as insulting them, I don't see how. Had I called out the organization, then that is getting messy. However, I did nothing of the sort.

NPHC got into the mix many, many posts ago.

And when everyone was holding my organization under the microscope, speaking on something they really know nothing about, I never said "leave Christrian GLOs out of it and just answer the question about the advertising!"

Discussion is discussion. If you can't face the fact that the NPHC orgs have many issues they should tackle, then you're in denial.

Am I hating on them? Nope...I love them. I respect them. My mother, some cousins, good friends, they're all apart of NPHC orgs. But reality is reality.

Okay you are being reeeeallly random right now. Your organization is not in NPHC, will probably never be in NPHC. So I don't see the need to bring it up in this conversation. Thanks. I wish you and your organization success but its clear to me that ya'll need to do a bit more research. Organizations that want to have a long future aren't created in weekends.

It's not random, it was brought up a long time ago in the thread, and it was a topic that kept coming up. And we would never want to be apart of NPHC...that would defeat our purpose.

While you're on the topic of relvancy, the majority of this thread has been irrelevant to my original inquiry - including all your posts.

Trust, I know more about most of the NPHC orgs than you could even fathom I know. As for us doing more research, it's a process. We know enough to get started, now we're taking it as we go along.

I can't stay quiet any longer
 

Ok, I am going to choose my words very carefully. I understand that you had some problems with a NPHC sorority. I understand that you did not find what you were looking for. I understand that it was not a dream come true for you. I undertsand that you wish to create something to fill what you consider to be a void. SO.... DO JUST THAT!!! It is obvious from your posts that you have some unresolved bitterness from your interactions with another sorority, but I strongly suggest you face those emotions and disappointment personally before you unintentionally spread it among your other members like a suffocating virus. There is nothing more UNattractive to me than an organization that is fixated on what is wrong in another organization; why would someone wish to join a group that judges, condescends and gains a sense of fufillment from looking down on others? It is easy to point fingers, but until your group has survived trials and tribulations for a century when people did not want you to last one day, then you are not in a position to criticize. YOU SAY "SO MANY OBSTACLES" BUT YOU HAVE NOT EVEN BEEN INCORPORATED FOR A WEEK!!!! Imagine what the NPHC has been through, trying to find their way without the luxury of an internet or so much good advice from GCers. So maybe you feel from what you have seen that there is a lack of unity among the NPHC. Take note of it and do your best not to have the same thing happen between yourself and the other Christian sororities. But sweetheart, you are getting a little too big for your britches. Founder or not, there is a tone you should have when addressing people, especially when you are asking them for help. Go back through the posts and see I was one of the first to comment and have only wished you well. Slow down, listen to those around, remain in prayer and continue to be respectful and I hope that this sorority provides you and others all that they desire.

I can only speak for my organization, but I received that "rite of passage".

Like someone said, it seems as if you are looking to replace that experience with a new one, one that you can control of aspects of. That's fine if you want to do that, but then don't be upset if people question your motives.

Another question: On your website under the FAQs, you have stated that your org has a call, handsign, steps, etc. You've already claimed on this board that your main goal is to uplift the Black community. How does a handsign and a call do that? To many (and others may feel this way as well), there are a million groups that claim to be so different from NPHC orgs, yet they latch onto these traditions that apart of NPHC culture. So if you want to be so different from NPHC orgs, why do you need a call, handsign, etc.?

OHHHHH YEAH (and this just doesn't apply to this instance either).

I see so many groups - of all colors - that say "we want to be something totally different" but that "totally different" usually never excludes the fun parts of sorority/fraternity life, like stepping, mixers, etc.

Re: I can't stay quiet any longer
 

you talk about what's unattractive, but why did you have to "stay quiet" while everyone was pointing out what's wrong with my organization? Were they not criticizing, placing us under scrutiny? You say I'm not addressing people correctly, but what about the way people are addressing me? How many comments can you find in this thread that could be considered "disrespectful"?

And while I appreciate all the comments, well wishing, snide remarks, criticisms, etc, all I wanted were suggestions on discreet advertising.

So why is it that when I pose a question, I'm being "bitter" and "too big for my britches"? Why can't others answer questions as I have? By the way, I never crticized, and made it clear that I support all GLOs, but most aren't what I wanted. Meanwhile, I find it crazy that people who don't know me from some random heffa they may meet on the street can analyze me and say I'm bitter lol. You just don't know me to say such a thing.

And yes I said "so many obstacles" because that is what we face, especially being new. We had critical decisions to make, had to question whether we were the right ones to even go on this venture. Had work out our days/time so we could put forth enough effort, we're constantly getting asked 21 questions and bein scrutinized. But that's part of the deal we made when we decided to start this. So YES, we face many obstacles.

Ok, to sum it all up: I support & respect ALL GLOs, I will come at people the way they come at me/respect them to the degree that they respect me, and all I wanted was suggestions on discreet advertising, but mainly got judgement & criticism of my organization.

You're wrong. Why replace them when I can just be apart of them?? It would be a lot less time consuming and cost less to just do that. But it's not what I wanted. Anyway, I respect their founding principles, and they have my support...my mom's one of them.

Why can't we have all that? It is still a GLO, just done a bit differently.

While many GLOs may get drunk, fight, or act an ass at their social events, we don't. I'm not going to sit here and justify us participating in the traditions of Greek life. It is what it is.

I believe it was established long ago the main difference between us and NPHC orgs. They are inspired by Christian ideals, we're founded on them. In fact, that issue is addressed on our website.

And I answered in my post above why we have the traditions common to a BGLO.

You still didn't answer my question. Saying that you were founded on Christian ideals doesn't say WHY you NEED a handsign, call, etc. Now, if you had said "Jesus and the apostles had a handsign, so that's why we have one", then it could have made more sense. How does promoting Christianity have anything to do with a handsign or call?

BTW, I'm not trying to be disrespectful of Christianity above, I was just trying to make a point. Hope I didn't offend anyone.

I am not one to post but. . .
 

1. I remained quiet while other people addressed you because YOU are the founder. This is YOUR dream that you want to see realized. The energy that people approached you with is what you will experience along this journey. YOU must get to the place where you can discern constructive criticism from mindless comments. When you are talking to interested members, I am sure they will want to know why they should attach themselves to YOUR vision. This is the decision that YOU made to start down this path and it is YOUR resposnibilty to see it through. So yes, I made the desison to let YOU handle your own business.

2. Sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with being inquisitive, BUT when you expect a helpful answer you must watch your tone. Like I said, I wished you well, but I was surprised at how defensive you became as people began to post. And as YOU decided to share your history with the group your true personality began to surface. You DO have unresolved issues. YOU did not feel it necessary to attend events and yet you still pursued membership. I am confused-- you want to uplift the black community using an organization founded on Christian principles, yet you state that you didnt want to become a member of the other sorority because it lacked a satisfactory rite of passage. Those two things have nothing to do with one another and shows that all of your motivation may not be as pure as you think.

3. NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING!!! Not help, not advice, not suggestions, not anything! You might not have gotten the exact answer you were searching for but many would agree the information you have received here is priceless.

4. Please dont take this the wrong but you are transparent. You really are. You are young, you are bruised, you want to belong and have the need to create. You are going where so many have gone before you but have not yet appreciated their contributions. You come asking for help, and can not receive the gifts you have been given. I visited your site and provided insight about one of the philanthropies. Given all the research that you state that you have done, I am surprised that no one caught that fact before me. This just lets you know that as much as you feel you may know about greekdom, there is much you do not know and you must be open to that fact. You were that way at the beginning of the posts, but you have lost your focus along the way.

5. My comments are directed towards you and NOT the sorority. As the founder, you are in the unique positon to make this organization exactly what you feel God has called it to be. Please remember to keep Him first and show EVERYONE respect, not just those you judge worthy to deserve it.

Edited for spelling and not content

Re: Re: I can't stay quiet any longer
 

When we advertise ourselves as Christians, it is important that we behave as Christ-like as possible. When Christ was accused what did he do? Matthew 27: 12-14:

12When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer. 13Then Pilate asked him, "Don't you hear the testimony they are bringing against you?" 14But Jesus made no reply, not even to a single charge—to the great amazement of the governor.

I think this is partially what Honeykiss meant when she talked about your testimony. Trust that people here (and on your campus) will be judging you and your organization's every action. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to show the love of Christ, even if you feel that others are not showing you the same love/respect.

Regarding advertising....since your campus has forbade you to advertise, it is important as a Christian organization that you follow their mandates and do not try to find a way to get around them. I would suggest word of mouth. Talk to people in your classes, in the cafeteria, etc. and invite them to your events.

You asked about affliating with a fraternity. What would be the purpose of that?

Re: Re: Re: I can't stay quiet any longer
 

Thanks Eclipse because this is exactly what I was referring to in regards to their testimony and their witness. As believers we are to be examples - light to a darken world. We are to conduct things with honesty, trust, and as if we are working unto Him.

Trying to "skirt" around university rules concerning membership (because I get the feeling that although you are open to anyone because the university says you have to be, there is an "unwritten rule" that you will only pick Christians which opens your sorority up to discrimination charges) as well as "discreet advertising" isn't right.

For example, you mission statement says...
Kappa Alpha Gamma Sorors will serve as fine examples of Christian womanhood to our universities, cities, and all with whom we come in contact with;

Can a non-believer exemplify Christian womanhood? Not according to scripture (which is what you stated your research is based on). Will a non-believer lead your weekly bible study or prayer group? Yeah, you said earlier that just because one may apply, that doesn't mean they will get in, nevertheless you have agreed to let this important fact slide in order to abide by the university's rules which leads me to my question again.......what is it that makes your sorority so unique compared to other black sororities that are founded upon Christian principles?

I know you are anxious to bring something new to campus, but don't bend the ideals that is suspose to make your sorority "so unique" just so you can rep on campus this fall.

Please don't let pride stop you from researching more established, national Christian sororities to see how they have managed to stay true to their ideals without compromising the basics elements that make them Christian based sororities. (Sigma Phi Lambda, Alpha Lambda Omega, etc.)



ETA: spelling and reference to ALQ

What was that sound . . . . .
 

. . . .I think it was a breath of fresh air. Great job Eclipse and Honeykiss!

Ohsodetermined, I totally agree with you!! Eclipse and Honeykiss1974, I could not have said it better! God bless you both.

If I could also reiterate what Honeykiss1974 said about the importance of continuing to research and not let any “obstacles” (i.e., pride, frustration, misunderstandings) or anything stand in your way! If this is an organization that you believe that God is calling you to bring about, trust that NOTHING will stand in your way. These preserved “obstacles” are only there to help you. Just refer to James 1:1-6. No matter how many “obstacles” you may face along the way, just know that trials are there to merely strengthen you and build endurance and patience.

My organization has been blessed to thrive over the past 17 years and is still growing thanks to the Grace of God!! But rest assured that it was not and is still not easy. We as Christians will ALWAYS face “obstacles” as we continue to show the love of Christ and walk worth of the call. I just encourage you to seek God and take heed to the advice given on this message board. Although it might not seem like it, I think the individuals on this board seem genuinely happy for you and want to see you succeed but just want you to see things from every possible direction.

Stay encouraged! Many blessing and much success!! God bless!
:D