Interesting thread, ladies.

I think I'd feel weird if a woman ever proposed to me. Not that it couldn't happen, but I think I'm too much of a traditionalist to let it go down that way.

As to "pressure" I think I agree with Summerchild, but subtlety is key. I think if it's a good relationship you know after a reasonable amount of time (I define "time" not by a calendar but by the level of spiritual commitment and range/depth of experiences you've shared together) whether she's the one you want to walk into the future with.

If I had to get "nudged" at all, I'd rather it be gentle rather, than overt. It still has to feel like it's my call on that level. ...because it is. :)

TonyB, why don't you give us some tips on how to subtly exert pressure. :)
Also, what let's you guys know that you want a woman to be your wife? I know it may vary for different men but what the heck, give it a go. LOL.
Let us in on the secrets discussed at the meetings. :D

SC

Next you're gonna want the handshake...LOL... :)

Thank you, TRSimon!! dang! :)

yall crazy. but anyway...

Emotional maturity plays a big part in decisions like this. Your core issues and values endure, but issues you thought were "dealbreakers" when you were 25, still carry importance, but have been moderated by other values that have come to mean as much, if not more.

I don't have the full "wife" answer yet. But when the central questions are consistently and comfortably answered:

- does she mean as much or more to you than your own interests?
- does she make you feel different (more comfortable) than anybody else on the planet?
- do you not want to envision your life without her?
- do you think about her interests/welfare before your own?
- if everything just vibes better when the two of you are on?

then, even if she takes the last piece of chicken when you were getting ready to handle it, you don't trip.....

...becuase she may very well be the one. :)

I want a man who is man enough to propose to me. There's a lot of ways I'm non-traditional, but when it comes to stuff like this, i am very old school.

I'm not that traditional, so who knows. I'm not totally opposed to the idea.

Naw, don't need the handshake, just the meeting minutes. :)

TonyB, thank you for breaking it down! You are the resident advisor. :)
SC

TTT
 

I totally agree with you ladies!!! It is ok for other women, but not me!

BTW I wanted to bump this since Joan (Girlfriends) asked ol' boy to marry her.

What :eek: Dang I need to catch up on Girlfriends. Hmmmm, I could never ask a man to marry me. I'm just imagining a couple of years after the marriage when a good disagreement happens and he says "well I did not ask you to marry me, you asked me," or "I didn't really want to get married in the first place." Ladies, I have heard men say this. I know someone close to me whose husband threw those words right at her. I know that I could not handle those words being thrown at me so to keep my sanity, I would never ask a man to marry me. Not to mention the fact that in my opinion if a man wants to get married, he will ask. Now that my .7 cents worth. :rolleyes:

I feel like if the moment is right, the female should ask the male. :) What difference does it make? The end result is you marry each other. Right?;)

I've always wondered what men think about this, so I asked a few and they were like as long as the woman was the right one, why not? I still wouldnt do it though. And we all know Joan is desperate. Hee hee hee...:)

In an ideal world maybe but men mature slower than women and so our "right time" may not necessarily coincide with their "right time" and if you ask that question outside of the "right season" your response could be based upon fear (fear of losing you, fear of hurting you).