One day, there will be at least two bittybugs. My dad hopes to be able to field almost half a football team between my offspring and my sister's. But that is many moons from now, when we are married and (hopefully) financially able. And honestly, if the future Mr. Bug is well-off enough, I wouldn't mind being a stay-at-home soccer-mom type. But I doubt that will happen.

Parenting is like marriage, IMO: it's one of those things you do when you know you're ready for it and so is your partner. If you don't want 'em, don't have 'em. We have contraceptives for that. It's your choice, nobody else's. If they happen, take it and roll with it--I was "supposed" to come along about 5 years after I did, but my parents still did an awesome job. If you want 'em, have 'em. But make sure you can support them emotionally/financially.

This is about as difficult as explaining how being Greek is so great to an outsider...lol, but, I'll try.

I have two very individual kids who are very bright in different ways. It is an amazing thing to watch them grow and learn over the years. You don't understand how much you can love someone until you feel the love the love you have for your children (given that they're wanted and you want to take on the job, I think you could be very resentful if that's not the case). I have a strong sense of purpose knowing that I am responsible for raising these children to be independent, compassionate, contributing members of our society. They are only 11 and 9 now, but in that short period of time, I have been able to help them thrive and grow into these little people who have their own thoughts, feelings and ideas. I love talking to them and hearing their ideas. They make me laugh (and cry!) and they are the center of my universe. I'm not sure what my goals in my personal life would be if it weren't for them. They keep me motivated to continue on and stay strong through anything, because they need me. They also keep me young and observant. Because of them, I "stop and smell the roses" to coin a phrase. I am excited to show them the rainbows, the squirrels, the ducks, the toads I find in the yard when I'm mowing, etc.

They frustrate me to no end some days, but most of the time, they just amaze and fascinate me.

Dee

Yes, I want children. Probably btwn 3 & 5. I have a very strong maternal instict and longing to have children. I have worked at a daycare center and in my church's nursery since the age of 16. I babysit a bunch, which includes running the kids to soccer, T-ball, Dance, and TaeKwonDo, and being there to cheer them on at games when their parents can't make it and I love doing it.


All that being said, some days when i'm running myself ragged just doing stuff on MY to do list and barely even have time to walk the dog.... or I have to worry about who takes care of the dog when I go out of town... I think about how much kids would tie me down.... but then I figure I'll be ready in a few years.

:D You're hilarious!

On the topic: I'd love to have some little pjs running around. I'm ready now to be married but I'm NOT looking. Two children are good for me, but I'd be happy with whatever number God chooses. And, I do believe in birth control.

Thank you for sharing - I appreciate it.

I have to add... My brother and his ex-wife were unable to have kids, even though they tried hard and they had a couple adoptions fall through too. I think that stress ended up breaking them up. My dad lives out of state, my mom is very sick, and my brother and I don't talk much (he also lives out of state). I also see my kids as my future family. When my mom and dad pass, I will have my kids in my future. While I'm not a mom who plans on keeping them tied to the apron strings forever, it IS nice to know that I'll not be alone in the world (relative wise).

I want a whole herd! Hoping for 3 boys and 2 girls when that day finally comes. I dream of being a Southern housewife! The only problem is finding a man that wants that many kids.. :p

I've known since I was 16 that I didn't want children...I have never had an inkling to change that. I tell people I wasn't installed with a biological time clock!! My friends all have children and I love playing with them, but never when holding the babies or playing with the toddlers does anything trigger in me that says, "I need to have one of these." My sister is the same way...

My husband and I are on the same page (thank goodness!)...when we started dating, I was very up front with him about this. At first, he wasn't sure about it, but after a while, he realized that he felt the same way, but never had a reason to think about it. We've been married 10 years and this has never become an issue between us...

My dad, on the other hand, is now wanting grandchildren. He's bribed my sister saying that he'd pay for the college education if she had children. I told him I'd have a baby, but then he'd have to raise it for the next 25 years!! (I thought it was a good compromise)...He didn't like that one! LOL

And, I went on to say that. I have a family member who NEVER wanted children. She's been that way forever. She married a few years ago, and her husband wanted children (I think that's a dealbreaker, but they went ahead with it). So, she now has a beautiful 3 year old daughter that she does not want. It's sad. That's why if you do not want children, you should REALLY not have them.

That doesn't mean that I still understand why people don't want children. I believe that children are a joy (even after spending all day with other people's challenging children). Personally, I cannot understand anyone not wanting children because I think that's a part of our purpose (a belief that I am not willing to debate or explain). However, I realize that there are people who do not share my beliefs and they are free to make their own decisions. That doesn't mean I understand their reasons, but again, I don't have to.

This is such a sad situation!!! I agree that it's a dealbreaker too...if my DH was adamant about kids, we wouldn't have gotten married. It's as easy as that...we talked about this long and hard about all the "what ifs" like "What if one of us changes our minds?" and looked at our situations...

It turns out we like our lifestyle the way it is and aren't willing to compromise that (which we both know what a HUGE compromise it would be!).

This is the one situation which I truly believe there is NO compromise...someone will lose in the end...usually it's the child.

No wife, no kids, and I'm in no hurry for either. Sorry to disappoint you, Mom and Dad, but I'll decide when and whether to settle down, get married and start a family. My younger brother feels the same way as well.

I have enough trouble feeding my opossums let alone a human, and personally I think the opossums are cuter. No kids for me.

Re: Re: Do you want kids?
 

LOL!!!!!! H*** yea KillarneyRose, tell what's up!

I don't want any kids-I never have. I've always known that, and even when my friends were ooing over babies, and excited about having kids, I just didn't get it. It's not my thing-there's too much else I'd rather do. Why would you want to put your life on hold for 18 years? No thanks.

What really bothers me are the people who blow off my feelings and say, you'll change your mind. Oh right-because of course, you know what I want more than I do. :mad: People often look at you like you're a bad person if you don't want kids. That's just not so. What kind of mother would I be if I bowed to societal pressure and had kids, but never wanted them?? I know myself and my limitations-I'm not patient and would be the kind of mom who's always yelling at her kids-and I don't want that. I may be selfish, but I deserve to be. I'd much rather travel, see the world, have my career, go to my ballet classes, sleep late, etc etc.

True. I can respect your decision. On an even sadder note, she is now divorced with a child she doesn't want.

I've gone thru cycles. First I wanted kids... then I didn't... then I did... now I don't want to HAVE them. As in physically have them. But I may adopt at least one child. Childbirth and the 9 months thing just doesn't seem like something I could tolerate health wise.

I also have this weird fear that since I didn't get to do all this cool stuff when I was a young kid that I wish I could do now (like dance, be better at sports, etc.) I would try to live vicariously through my future children. And I really don't want to be an obsessive stage mom, but that's one of my biggest fears for raising kids.

Perhaps I'll change when I near my 30s... which I'm not near at all.

Yes, I hate that more than anything -- more than I hate people who act like you're a terrible person because you don't want to sqeeze out a pup (because they're clearly idiots). It's the whole "I'm going to disregard your misguided feelings because of course you are a woman so it is your main goal in life to procreate and one day you will realize it" thing.

On another note, I had no idea that people still had more than two kids. I mean, I know it happens, but I don't know anyone who has had more than two.

How sad!! And worse yet, I'm sure her daughter can sense the resentment...

I think this is part of my stuff. To this day, I'm still not 100% convinced that my own mother was happy with her decision. I think there was a lot of stuff she wanted to do before having children. I don't want to be that unhappy.

I love babies!
 

lol!

I am one of five kids (my dad is one of six), and I want a big family... not yet though! ;) I am still a sophomore in college, but I do want a lot of kids and a little house in the country someday. I would also like to adopt, because there are lots of kids out there who needs some love and some extra care especially kids from countries that have a lot of food shortages.

PS - What that lady behind you, Rose, said was totally rude!

are you wanting my babies? ;)

My mom didn't have me till she was 38 and one of the best things about that was I never felt that she was giving up things - career wise or social wise - she wanted to do to stay home with me (she quit her job when I was born). She had already been doing all that for a long time. She was ready to primarily be mom. That doesn't mean she didn't have other interests - she definitely did - but it wasn't like some people who feel tied down and like their lives are done. Then again, I think a lot of people bring that on themselves by letting their child rule the household, but that's another thread.

Plus, everyone ALWAYS thinks/thought my parents were younger than they are, because most people in their age group have been grandparents for 10-20 years at this point. :)

Whether or not I want kids changes about every 5 minutes, but one of the things I know is that if I do decide to be a parent I want to adopt at least one older child. (I would not adopt a baby - everyone wants babies.)

thread title: "Do you want kids?"

my response: Depends, why are you selling them?

Wow.. I feel like a lot of people in this thread either dont want kids at all, or want 3-5 of them!

I'd probably be OK with not having kids (if I could have cats -- they are my babies!) but truthfully I'd probably want to have 1-2 kids MAX. I used to want just one but my mom and my bf seem to think that being an only child would be a horrendous thing (both are the middle child of 3) and think that it's cruel to have a child without giving it a sibling. I guess I can see that (I have a younger sis) but 2 would be my MAX.

I feel like fewer kids are easier to handle, easier to support financially and easier to care for and give your attention to without it absolutely consuming every aspect of your life. I can't ever imagine having 4-5 kids!

It might be strange but I feel like being pregnant would be fun (if it was planned and I was quite a bit older) but I am scared to death of giving birth. I'd be a lot more excited about the prospect of having kids if men gave birth ;)

I'll have to talk to my baby Hillary Duff and see if she's OK with raising 3.

-Rudey

I'm an only child and I turned out ok. :) It's not horrendous growing up without a sibling. The one big down-side is that whenever anything in the house got broken, my parents knew exactly who to blame... I couldn't point to a sibling and say "s/he did it" :p

Haha, if men gave birth DH and I would probably be parents already!

You sure?

-Rudey
--If you're reaaaaally, reaaaaaaally sure then I'll let it go.

I don't think it's bad to be an only child at all. I am, and I never wished I had siblings.

But you are also a self admitted selfish brat :p

I agree with you! Though I did want a little sister for about six months in third grade. My best friend had one, and she was more fun to dress up than Barbies.

Though I have always wanted children, I have never wanted more than one.

Yeah, but so?

I want to have children. I want to start as soon as I get married.

It doesn't bother me that people don't want kids...

But there was a girl that I worked with for a little while that announced that "Kids are NASTY" very loudly for the entire room at work...kids can be many things, but I don't think I would ever use the word nasty...especially with 5 mothers, 1 father and a pregant woman in the room...

Well I'm just saying, why would you want siblings when all of the attention of your parents is focused on you?

INDEED. And all of the gifts at Christmas were FOR ME, well, except the rawhide chew we always wrapped for the dog, but I didn't mind sharing attention with the dog because he was really cool.

i want to adopt more than anything in the world!

( preferrably multiple siblings )

i have a feeling this is one of my life's "purposes"...

( but this will have to wait 'till sometime after gradschool )

yea i'm weird like that.

Rose, I completely understand how you feel....not about having kids specifically, but I've had some "friends" in the past who've tried to pressure me into putting a ton of time and effort into my hair, make-up, clothes, etc., so that boys will like me. :rolleyes: They never seemed to understand that I'm just not interested in dating, and I don't know if I ever will be. Fortunately, though, in the later years of high school and my first two years of university, I've made some awesome friends who like me for me. But that lady was really rude to butt in like that. She's right that there's nothing wrong with having kids, IF you want them....but there's something wrong with constantly shoving your beliefs down people's throats. I think it's far worse to have kids when you don't want them, just because you think it's "the thing to do," than to do the mature thing, realize you'd be happier without kids, so you don't end up bringing children into a family situation where they're not really loved or wanted.

My mother was on the phone tonight with her physician's partner. Mom proceeded to ask the Dr. if she had kids (if so my mother was going to wish her a happy mother's day). The Dr. said no, she did not have any children. My mother then said, "well someday you will." I was livid. I explained to her that some women don't want children (or maybe can't have them) and a comment like that is inappropriate.

So many people don't think for themselves and just go along with what society tells them they need to be happy (marriage, picket fence, and the 2.5). More people need to start thinking, hey maybe children don't HAVE to be in my future, and that's alright, becuase I know A LOT of people that NEVER should've had children.
I also spent a summer at a camp that proves just because you are financially able to suport a child doesn't mean you should have children either.

Well I just had my first, a daughter on Christmas Eve 2004. I can tell you, that I hated being pregnant--and I had the world's easiest pregnancy. Labor was a cake walk as well, and she is the greatest miracle I have witnessed. But I am still up in the air as to whether we will have any more kids. It's funny, but before she came, I thought oh for sure I will keep working and all that, but once she was born, I didn't feel the same way. I took a semester off of teaching and now am going to go back only parttime.

I love being a mom, but it is a huge sacrifice and I commend those who know they don't want kids and don't have them--there are too many people in this country that seem to have kids because it is what is expected of them. But these same people aren't ready for everything that a child entails and that is why, IMO, that we have so many kids with so many problems.