Thanks for the info.

I was just curious. LOL at the first woman president, though!

Doesn't NPC (and I'm assuming IFC) use Social Security Numbers to make sure no one attempts to initiate into two different groups? So even changing your name doesn't work....is that right???

it is possible to change your social security number thought. I looked into it for a story about domestic abuse. If someone really really wanted to she could change her name and ss#. I was actually wondering, again for the research for the paper, how someone could be found. Again, if a women was a victim of domestic abuse and she changed her name, which is public record of some time and then changed her ss# could this person be found. I imagine it could be possible but would any panhallenic council have the resources to put that much effort into something?

I could imagine if a women could go through all that trouble because a panhel council would not have the resources to search too much. Some people say that they have contacts and search for imformation about girls, but quite honestly most people in my hometown would not really know much about me beyond who my mother is, and trust me my mother would not be able to tell what sorority I was in, she might be able to tell you that i was in a sorority but not which one. I can see how someone might be able to do something, espcially if it was in the north and she did not tell the school that she transferred from another college .

ummm... anyone who went through that much trouble to change their identity to rush has some major problems psychologically, and they'd likely show that in other ways during rush.

I don't know if that's true or not, but in Canada that could never happen. It is illegal to ask for a SIN (Social insurance number...same thing as an SSN) for identification purposes.

Just some useless information for you.

But you can ask for all the identification in the world but it's no good if it's not verified.

Even *IF* the SSN was true (which I am sure it is not), do Foreign Students have SSN numbers?

And yeah, what Lady Pi Phi said. You can only ask for someone's SIN upon offer of a job (that's what the gov't uses for taxation purposes).

At UHM, foreign students were issued temporary numbers: 999-##-#### for the duration of their time on campus, and that was how we searched for them in the database instead of SSNs.

It's not just a job. University/college applications ask for SINs too, and I assume that it is for tax purposes.

Maybe if you're on a (Government Paid) Student Loan. I just filled in an application last week (I'm going back to school in January) and that field was OPTIONAL.

But because the field is there, it doesn't stop people from filling it in. You just have a choice and can fill it in if you want to. We are talking about other situations when you're not supposed to fill it in.

What are you taking in school?

I was doing research for domestic abuse and I read an interview with a women who saw her dad try to kill her mom. The girl went to lots of trouble to change her identity to escape the abusive family life. I can understand her reasoning. I dont know if she was in a sorority but she changed colleges and moved accross the country. She had a reason. If there was a sorority involved i could not blame someone in that situation. I know that it is against the rules but If someone is doing to escape an abusive situation then i can completely understand.

Nothing is really right in this situation, but reality is that things like this happen. In this case i guess you could say that there was some type of psychological problems, but as i see it a girl escaping an abusive situation is doing something that is good for herself.

um, yeah, no kidding, that's why i said if they changed their identity TO RUSH.

I actually had a sister who had an abusive ex boyfriend and she had to change a lot of her identity to escape him :(

Please except my apologies. I know what you said This subject is just to close to me. I came from an abusive family and I just getting going.

I have heard girls doing some crazy things to get into a "GOOD" sorority. In washington girls will go to wsu and rush and if they dont get into a "good" sorority then they drop out of school (its a semester school where UW is quarter) and then go to the university of washington to try to get into a better sorority, okay so its a rumor that i have heard.

I find it interesting what girls will do to get into a sorority, and yes you are right to change name and SS# just to rerush then they do have problems.

I feel bad for women who aren't too sure about joining the chapter and still go ahead with Initiation. I know as recently as last semester we had a womn initiate who wasn't extremely active during her pledge period and she seemed unsure so we talked to her and wanted to make sure it was for her and she was positive with her decision. She assured us she was, and then a semester later she resigned. :( It just makes me really sad.

Why? College-age women are just that -- WOMEN. They have no one to blame except themselves if they refuse to accept responsibility for their own actions. If they get initiated, they made a decision to get initiated. If they have doubts, they should resolve them before initiation. That is one purpose of the New Member period. I am not sad if someone becomes a member of a GLO and then quits. It's better to have someone that doesn't care resign (if that is what makes them happy) than to have them stick around in name only and hating it.

MissOh2Cute has a point. Sometimes, these young women can be simply overwhelmed with this being their first experience away from home, and don't initially adjust as well as some others may. Most new member periods only last 6-8 weeks, and for some that is long enough to KNOW that you want to be initiated... for others it isn't.

Some girls are unsure and initiate anyway, because they feel that they would rather take a chance at sisterhood with a particular group than to drop out and not have anything at all. Some of these ambivalent women adjust, make the best of their situations, and eventually become stellar sorority members... others don't, and they remain unhappy. When that happens, they either deactivate, or remain in the sorority until graduation, still preferring what they DO have to not having anything at all....sadly.

I've seen it happen in all organizations on my campus and I do sympathize with these women... although they are WOMEN, when they get to college and rush they are usually somewhat naive, still in their late teens! Think of all the growing and changing we all do in the four years between entering and graduating from college.

I bet the reason this poster is AWOL is because she feels like she's been attacked. Not everyone who posts these kinds of threads has ulterior motives, and she was probably genuinely hoping that someone would understand her situation and reach out to her. How do we know it wasn't a GC regular (under a different name) in a crisis we aren't aware of?

*Edited to add:
There are others who have already stated their opinions on this thread who WILL disagree with me, but I feel that college *is* and *should be* a social experience and a wonderful time of growth, and if this girl feels that she cannot be happy without being in a greek org with a sufficient social outlet... where's the harm in transferring schools? Some people think it's tacky, but it's NOT like she's pledging at a smaller school with the sole intentions of transferring to a larger and more elite chapter that she never would've gotten into in the first place!

All chapters are different, and if it will make her happy to find a school with her sorority AND continue on with her program of study, there is nothing wrong with that! Those of us that look back fondly on our collegiate years should wish the same for others!

Have you read the entire thread? Have you read her other thread? She changed her story several times, making them totally different things. She also, despite the posts you probably disagree with, had some very heartfelt advice.

A lot of people who've been around GC are VERY cautious of these kind of posters. They make a post or two then disappear. Another reason, the story doesn't add up- in fact, she changed it! In one thread she said she decided it wasn't for her, in another she says she was "forced" to initiate. Just about anyone, with a few very rare exceptions, is 18 or older when they pledge and intiate into a sorority. I'm sick of people letting college-age kids get away with crap just because they're "young."

What a problem in society this has turned into- letting people get away with not taking responsibility for their own actions and choices. It's one thing to make a mistake, but you have to admit that you made it. Once you don't, and start throwing blame elsewhere, you become a glistening example of our society's love of not taking any responsibility for your own actions.

18 is old enough to vote, old enough to enter into legally binding transactions on your own, old enough to die for your country. And it's old enough to be a man or a woman and take responsibility for your choices and actions. So don't blame it on being young.

I'm not sure why you're worried about it - a pledge period is a time when someone should decide for themselves whether they want to affiliate or not. If at the end of the time someone affiliates and has second thoughts about it later, that's their own issue. At some point you have to take responsibility for your actions. You can't go through life making decisions haphazardly (new jobs, new homes, etc.) and then deciding that it's not the choice for you.

But that's not really "forcing" - other people telling you to do something is peer pressure. :) Glad that you can see that the story doesn't add up though. Being naive doesn't get anyone very far, and especially on an internet message board, you have to be skeptical!

luckily- you girls tried to help her and talk to her...
a friend of mine at school went through her pledge program and knew from the first day that it wasn't for her. However, that particular sorority is notorious for really pressuring girls to stay in- using awful tactics such as spreading rumours, following them, and making their lives a living hell. i've seen it in action- i know for a fact- as awful as it is.

so... my friend had to pay 800 dollars- go through pledging (which was hell) and on the night she got in... she handed in her deactivation letter. She was forced to change schools b/c she would never be left alone if she stayed. In this case, my friend did deactivate but she felt she had no choice. she had to get through the process and then leave...

even if she didn't have a gun to her head... i still saw what this did to her. she knew it was hazing but when the sisters were even following her roommate around- who was pledging my sorority- we knew there was something seriously wrong.

i guess i'm just saying that sometimes there are exceptions...

I'm not necessarily worried about it....it just sucks for them. I have had the most amazing experience in Alpha Phi and I know there are women, especially on here who have had the same experience. You only get ONE CHANCE (unless you go to a Local) to be in a sorority and it sucks that some can't have the same experience I did....that's why it makes me sad.

Correction- you only get one chance to be INITIATED an NPC sorority. That is what your pledge period is for, to figure out if it's right for you. Or else why would we even bother with a pledge period, we could just initiate them on bid night?

A new member has at least 6 weeks, many times longer, to figure out what's right for her. If a group isn't, she can depledge and re rush in a year, or pursue AI later on in her adult life.

THEN SHE SHOULD HAVE QUIT.

Honestly, if ANYONE is harassing or stalking you, you need to report it to a college authority. There was a religious group on our campus who did this to members who wanted out - two of the girls affected spoke up and the group ended up being kicked off campus. If everyone just sits and takes it, it will keep happening.

I don't get why this thread is still alive.

she has not posted since the beginning. There really is NO choice for her. Maybe it sucks but that is life. College is about much MORE than SORORITY LIFE. Yes it is fun, but it is not the only way to survive college. If you have to have a sorority to validate yourself, some internal soul searching needs to take place. You can be in a sorority and still not feel included. Paying dues does not give you friends.

I don't even want to say what I think of someone who would transfer or change ID to get into a sorority.

Can we please just let this thing die a nice quick death?

Honestly from what I hear from other GC'ers at a lot of other schools, particularly where Greek life is the big major scene, it sounds like you only get one real chance to pledge also. You constantly hear about how many chapters are at total and don't COB and how its much more difficult to get a bid when a pnm isn't a freshman. Plus are all chapters really open to the idea of giving a bid to a woman who they either cut or were cut by in the past? I would think a lot of girls who get initiated and deactivate quickly may be in an environment like this where they think if it doesn't work out they won't have another chance. We all say being in a sorority isn't the biggest deal in the world but it seems to be a very big deal to many, if not most, of us on GC.

And while I agree with the comments about being 18 and old enough to take responsibility for our actions can you really say that is the policy of NPC? A lot of NPC's and individual sororities' policies are based on this not really being true in their opinions. There is another active thread up which points out the differences in the rules imposed on NIC vs. NPC glo's.

I'm sure that's true to a point. I can't think of what choice I would have made if I'd been in that environment as a pre-freshman, knowing no one and not even having taken a college class. This is why I am so in favor of deferred rush. You can get to know sorority women as people, not in the crazy rush atmosphere.

But then again, if it's someplace that is that stringent, the original poster's argument would be moot anyway because no one else would give her a bid. It's up to you to decide whether to be in a sorority you are lukewarm about or not be in one at all. And if you stay in a sorority that's hazing the crap out of you, that's your fault, no matter what your school is like.