I have never discussed or shared ritual with someone who isn't a sister. I hope that my sisters demonstrate the same level of integrity.

*shrugs* couldn't tell you....my husband would likely have the same reaction as yours. Maybe the original poster's friend was just chatty to her husband...or maybe he was the type to ask. Who knows...

*smiles* i thought this personal attack was pretty unnecessary and a bit overreaching.

While I cannot speak for all of My Brothers of LXA, all of the ones that I know of or in talking to their wives at functions have no clue about LXAs Ritual.

Ss the founder of my local and being married my final year, the equipment was sent and stored at our house. I was instructed not to look into the trunk and I didnt. My then wife, married for 20 years asked me if she could look into it. With that question, I just told her if I find out you did, I will divorce you, plane and simple. I worked to hard at that point to lose what was in the near grasp for all of the guys of the local.

So you sleep with your mate, doesnt he or she have respect for what you went through to become a Brother or Sister?

I am proud of LXA Ritual and everytime I attend one, I still get misty of eye and hair standing on the back of my neck.

Is it for everyone, no it isnt, just like each of yours.

If you want to spill your guts about something, tell about the little pecidellos that you had before marriage or even during!:rolleyes:

Maybe mine means more to me for what I went through to get it as it does many after me, 600+!

I doubt it!:cool:

this is too much!! i have the picture in my head and i can't stop laughing.


on topic...i never really wanted to share my ritual with anyone because it was this little thing between me and my friends. plus the oath said no one who is not initiated into phi mu...and i am positive that none of my boyfriends have ever been! the "two become one" is a pretty weak argument. not telling him how much money you spent on your new clothes is a lot different than not telling him that chocolate pudding is your sorority password.

APO is coed, so if I had a SO who was dying to know any of our secrets, he really could have joined for himself!

SisterHavana, well said!

COED is different than just Social Greeks.

Being a member of APO, BU, closed for lack of enthusiam!:(

Good Works are supposed to never be over looked. In this day and age, they seem to be!:( :o

So then, if they DID have an inkling, you wouldn't tell your husband? If you feel so strongly about this, why not tell him your fraternity secrets in front of other Alpha Phis? How do you think your sisters would react?

So since you and your husband are ONE, you don't have sex, you masturbate. Right?

That's some weird ass isht right there, homes.

I can't speak for the Alpha Phis, but I know valkyrie would probably rip her a new one. :p Right on homes.

Mr. valkyrie likes to ask me to show him the handshake because he thinks we're all crazy sorority girls. I actually get a kick out of telling him that it's SECRET.

But then of course we're not married, so we're not ONE and sharing ONE brain. ;)

You're terrible.

Argh, I have the stupid Spice Girls' "TWO BECOME ONE" in my head now. Thanks a lot.

Actually, I don't feel strongly that he needs to know....just that I would likely tell him if he wanted to know. He is not the type to ask, but if he did, I would problably tell him. And no, I don't think it makes a marriage stronger for him to know my fraternity ritual....but I also think that telling my husband is NOT the same as telling other people.

Also, I would not discuss it in front of them out of respect for their comfort. Whether or not I choose to share this with my spouse, I do recognize, (as I pointed out that HE should,) that it is still not something that he is sharing with my sisters...but rather sharing with me.

If I were asked by my sisters if my husband knew any of our rituals, I would tell them the truth...that as of now he does not....but that I would not have any hesitation in telling him. But honestly, they are not likely to ask and I just don't think it is necessary to make a production out of it.

I recognize that others may not share this belief and I am sensitive to that, which is why I would not assume that everyone is comfortable with it...and is also why....in my previous post, I pointed to what I felt the real issue was...and that is exercising discretion on the part of the husband who was insensitive in his voicing this knowledge to the sister.


:)

Wow....I'm not sure I've ever read something so inappropriate.

I'm sorry that so many of you are feeling threatened by my dissenting opinion...I think I will stop posting now just to keep the peace.

My compliments Lovely_gurl, for maintaining a level head as befits an online discourse.

Wow, your ritual must be a lot different than ours. I guess we're missing the "don't tell anyone our secrets unless it's your husband and he promises not to tell anyone else that he knows" line in SAI ritual.

As I've mentioned before, an obligation you take to keep things private and/or secret, whether it is the ritual secrets of a fraternity or sorority or anything received in confidence from anyone, is binding upon yourself for life, even if your membership may cease in that organization.

I once held a SECRET security clearance from the Government, which was required before I could even begin surveying and updating the floor plans of the Alternate Joint Communications Center inside Raven Rock mountain in Pennsylvania some years ago. It's no big secret that the place exists and serves as the communications hub for US military traffic (more info at http://www.fas.org/nuke/guide/usa/c3i/raven_rock.htm); the Russkies once had several nukes aimed at it to wipe it off the face of the earth if World War III ever started and the nukes went flying. However, I am privy to certain details of the facility that are classified, and I am bound to a strict non-disclosure agreement that is still in force. If I violate it, I'm violating Federal law and can risk going to prison for it. There are other people I know who once were cleared for TOP SECRET SIOP-ESI (i.e. the nuclear launch codes) and are bound by even stricter non-disclosure agreements, even though it's been years since they've pulled alert in an ICBM launch control center. I know better than to ask them; they're not going to tell me.

As a member of Alpha Sigma Phi I am bound by the oath I took never to reveal any of the secrets I've learned about the fraternity; and as a Mason and a member of several Masonic affiliated bodies, I've taken a similar obligation. While I've seen and read documents on the Internet and in other books and publications revealing such information I have sworn to keep secret, but it does not absolve me from the obligations I've taken.

Damn, this is a serious Post!;)

Well when you are in the sack getting your piano tunedy you are trying to find "oubpoiut" About what the Hell Your Ritual is all about or someone elses

WOW, some un-qinkey sex!?

Sandy is this in your thinking for bed time stories, sure as hell aint mine!:rolleyes:

Oh Well Sweety, different Time Zone!:D

Thank you, James.

And thank you everyone else for the discourse. I think it's interesting...and most of the time, fun.... to hear other people's viewpoints.:)

ummmmmmmmmm...in addition to not telling my husband in the first place, i probably wouldn't attach my affiliation on a post where i said that i would if he asked...

just a thought, but i could think of a few alpha gam's that wouldn't be happy with me...

besides just personal feelings on the matter (which we've all MORE than shared) - how do you think your nationals would feel about you sharing fraternal secrets?

i'm guessing that most nationals aren't going to make the distinction between spouses and anybody else...

-marissa

WTF? Does anyone get this because I sure as hell don't?

Alpha Sigma Phi follows the same policy. At the option of the chapter, the parents of pledges and invited members of the faculty and administration of the university or college may be invited to witness the ceremony except for the preliminary examination for pledgeship, which is considered secret and held separately before the ceremony. All non-members present are informed about maintaining discretion in not disclosing what transpires in the ceremony.

You know as well as I do that it's TEH MOONSHINE talking.

Yes, this is a good point, since I now realize this issue clearly may make some people uncomfortable. In hindsight, out of consideration for my sisters who are squirming about this, I probably should have removed it. However, as I have only posted here in the single digits, I haven't figured out how to do that with each post...and quite honestly did not expect this issue to be so contraversial. (Yes, I realize in hindsight that was naive....but again, I plead lack of experience on these boards and did not intend to cause a huge stir.)

I do not expect all of my sisters to agree. But I do respect their right to disagree with me.


Our International Executive Board is made up of individual members, (just as this online community is)...so my guess is that how "International" feels would depend largely on the individual's viewpoint. And I do acknowledge (again) that some people will frown (even my friends who post on this board) or not see this from my point of view.

However, since it is not likely to become an issue (because my husband really could care less about these things....and if he did he would not share them with others), I am not going to fret about it. And I doubt that any of my Alpha Phi sisters who know me are going to lose much sleep over it either.
:)

Exactly how is it disrespectful?

Lovely_gurl, I understand you've elected to not receive PM's but if you want to send me one, feel free.

There are actually some friendly people on here.

Mr. MelodyCat asked me what went on after I was initated.

I told him, "I can't tell you any specifics. Just know that it's a beautiful ritual."

He pouted for a second and tried to jokingly cajole me into telling him, but I looked him in the eye and said, "Honey? I love you. I normally tell you everything that is important to me, but I can't tell you that. Please respect that."

He's never asked again.

And FYI, I suspect our Internationals would frown very highly on a member who spilled secrets. Take that as you will.

Lovely_gurl, so sorry if my assertion that you're not going to honor your wedding vows and will probably be a runaround hootchie mama within a couple of years made you feel bad. I am obviously not privy to which vows you keep and which you discard.

It's also occured to me that you're probably as much of an Alpha Phi as I am since I can't believe an initiated member of a sorority would be stupid enough to broadcast on a greek-related message board that vows of secrecy mean nothing to her.

Anyhoo, best of luck to you and hubby in your wedded bliss! :)
http://members.aol.com/dragonhord/auction/wedding.jpg

Thanks, Diamond Delta!
I figured out how to enable Private Messages...so you have one from me now!

I have lurked for a long time before jumping into the mix....so I've seen that lots o' people are friendly here (including most of the ones on this thread who have not been the friendliest to me just yet)....but that is understandable given the passion behind the viewpoints here.

So, I'm hoping that next time we meet up in a thread, it might even be on the same side of an issue and I will "feel the love" all around me! :D

Maybe it's because my future wife is in a GLO as well, but it's never been an issue with us. She has her secrets (she's an Alpha Phi), I have mine, and that's that.

If I were in a defunct GLO, I'd see no reason to divulge secrets. Secrets are secrets, an oath is an oath, and it's a promise I made to my brothers and myself to keep those vows secret.

LOL! HEY!!!!...Where did you get a copy of my wedding photo?!?!?

Actually, I appreciate your trying to bail me out from the apparent "hot water" that so many of you feel I will be in with my sisters...and maybe I should just go with it, but I am in fact a very proud Alpha Phi.

And, at the risk of banging my head against a wall here, my fraternity and its rituals are very important to me. I just don't hold the viewpoint that disclosure to a spouse breaks a vow of secrecy. That is the difference. And it is perfectly fine for you to disagree with me, but asserting that vows mean nothing to me is erroneous.

Mr. Lovely_Gurl has never asked....but my guess is that IF you had chosen to disclose this information, if your husband is like mine, he would have kept the information between the two of you.


Well, I haven't done an IEB poll about it, but I suspect it would depend on the individual....though I am sure there would be at least a few who would have the reaction that you suggest.

The Alpha Phi ritual is not the sole property of you. It belongs to the Alpha Phi Fraternity, and I'm willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that there is no "spousal" provision for breaching your oath, nor is any such thing implied. Your rationalization and dishonor betrays every woman who has ever been, and who ever will be an Alpha Phi.

Yes, you raised the ire of many including my self. So if You are not going to tell your secrets, then why bring it up?

Oh, I can see the interest but not the way it was stated.

What each of us have as Initiated Members Will and Always feel very strongly about is The Vows that were taken.

Okay, what is an IEB Poll He asked?

Well, I respectfully disagree. :)

Well, in the original post, AEPHI ALUM asked the question Is it okay to divulge secrets of defunct GLOs....or something to that effect.

I was simply bringing to light a different point of view...that perhaps this friend who divulged secrets of her defunct GLO to her husband did not consider telling her husband to be revealing a secret....as some spouses have relationships in which they share everything with each other, under the explanation that "the two shall become one".

I did not present this as an absolute or something that all spouses should share with one another....or even advocate for it. I was simply pointing out that MAYBE she didn't see it as an issue...and that the issue was HIM discussing it with AEPhi Alum....which was innappropriate. This is why I brought it up....as just a "well...consider this" point.

IEB=International Executive Board
Poll as in asking each member how she feels about a certain issue.

Why do you disagree? What so Russ is a Guy and asking the same question as I and many others are and have?

You never answered My Question either.

Do you profess one thing and or say another?

So, now, you are an APhi and want to protect your Ritual or not?

Just queastions that need to be answered.

Oh, Ball is in your court!:)