Maybe this http://store1.yimg.com/I/uglydress_1800_6398080 could be her wedding dress... mwahaha:p

How bout ATTACK OF THE BUTT BOW!
http://store1.yimg.com/I/uglydress_1800_9739771

Or this darling number?
http://store1.yimg.com/I/uglydress_1800_13342234

BOTH. Edible bridesmaids are the new trend.

They're especially good if you're frugal as they serve double duty: they can be used in both the bachelor party as well as the wedding.

I'm sorry, but your brother needs to get some balls and dump her or put her in her place. They obviously aren't mature enough to get married if they're like that. They need to go date some more people or something. I understand sticking up for your SO, but saying that "you'd never disagree with her because that's the way love is" isn't right. The problem isn't just her, it's your brother also. He needs to speak up if all of this going on and if she's obviously hurting your family.

Sorry for sounding so harsh... I'm PMSing

OK i have t o ask....what in hell is that dress for...... i mean i have had my fair share of formals but that literally and techincally takes the cake!

If that is a bridesmaid dress than the bride must not like here attendants much! hehehe

That's the sort of thing I would have wanted to wear to play dress up when I was 5.

Hallelujah, somebody else saw that too!

Your brother is going to explode (or implode) one day. During the 1st month of their marriage, when he is fed up with her bossing him around, he'll get a backbone and tell her off (or worse).

Hopefully this marriage will work out and they both will grow during this time - marriage IS hard work.

Now as far as you're concerned, go to the rehearsal dinner, go to the wedding, smile as though everything is fine, and keep moving! Nothing would probably make her happier than to see you "boycott" the rehearsal dinner and wedding. I really don't think talking with your brother is going to work, because as someone stated before, he is blind right now. But you'll be grateful later that you didn't cause a big stink.

You BETTER go to that rehearsal dinner! Tell your parents that you are going, and just go. Don't ask, don't fret, just go. Bridezilla needs to be put in her place.

And in all the "standing up to so and so" I personally think one of your parents should get on the phone to her mother and say, "BTW, I noticed our daughter wasn't on the list you gave us. Of course she will be there." It's not just up to your brother or you. If your parents are paying they can take the responsibility of informing her family of their "over-sight".

I realize you want to be a lady and gracious about this, and I commend you for realizing that this is your brother and his fiancee's day,. You're right there should be as little conflict as possible, but please (if only for your parent's sake) don't let these people take advantage of your family. Go to the rehearsal dinner. Don't say anything about it to anyone either way. Your parents are paying/hosting so they will make sure they pay for the guest list + 1 ensuring that you have a plate and a place to site, and nothing will need to be said to anyone about it - they won't even need to send you an invite. As for the actual wedding, be glad you are not in it. Since her parents are paying for/ hosting the actual event you will just have to go with the flow there - whatever decisions she makes...

My Reaction
 

My reaction is....don't fret over being excluded from all the wedding hoopla...

You will be able to be there to plan his divorce celebration...cause that marriage is doomed.

I have a lot of cute, single sorority sisters that like to go out in NC. We could have an intervention mafia (I know that is horrible to even joke aout)

http://store1.yimg.com/I/uglydress_1800_13342234

With this dress, the bridesmaids don't carry flowers, they carry wands!


Cosign to what sageofages said!

i have a pain in the booty sister in law. i have a lovely tale about her but i will refrain for now on sharing that story. BUT if I were you I would tell your brother your opinions of her and what you think. Whether or not he listens to it is up to him. Unlike my brother when we tried to tell him things before and even now he don't listen.

Jeni-
I have to cosign with what pretty much everyone is saying.

1) you should DEFINATELY talk to your brother. your feelings about being excluded will only develop and you might just explode at some point. Talk to him, express your frustrations.

with that...

2) you NEED to tell your parents that it is UNACCEPTABLE that you are not on the guest list for the rehearsal dinner. Screw that fact that you aren't in the party (which you should be counting your blessings) but to leave you out of the rehearsal dinner is just plain rude. Your parents need to stand up to this bridezilla and her mom and say "our daughter WILL BE ATTENDING".



Also, as for your brother "getting a pair of balls". I honestly have to say don't hold your breath and I'm saying this from personal experience.

One of my good friends married two years ago. I love her to peices but she is a manipulator. She manipulates her husband into doing her every whim. When they get into an arguement, she somehow turns it into his fault and then he goes out buys roses and chocolates and apologizes to her, when she hasn't even apologized to him. She is lazy, he does everything for her down to getting her water. She has been too lazy to get a job for over a year, so he has forgoed his ambitions of going back to school so that he can work as an assistant manager at Blockbuster to support the "lifestyle she has become accostomed too", although they can't afford it. It is deeply sad and it is deeply troubling because her husband DOES NOT have the balls to stand up to her.

Obviously I don't know your brother, but it sounds like your brother is a lot like my friends husband, both extremely manipulated by the females in the relationship. Until your brother is receiving therapy to regain his self esteem so that he can "take control", it doesn't matter what you or your parents say to him. My friends husband just started therapy and I pray that he realizes sooner rather than later to stand up to her and tell her that he is not her "doll".

I wish I could give you some more advice. My heart goes out to you.

I know I would be extremely pissed if I were in your place. If my brother was marrying someone I hated who was completely dissing me. A woman who is manipulating him. It would drive me nuts and I would feel hurt like you must feel.


((((((((((Jeni))))))))))))

Brianna

mwahahahahaha!
 

New news:

My mom let it slip...my brother's fiancee doesn't want me in the wedding because I'm "fat." How nice!

So, I still haven't been invited to do anything though the girl did call me about 3 days ago to give me bridesmaid dress instructions. I thought that was in very bad taste...she doesn't ask if I'd like to be in the wedding, she just gives instructions. Whatever. So, the plan is that I'm not going to be involved at all.

In fact, my mom and aunt have devised a plan. I have been in the process of losing weight for a while now and I am doing so with renewed vengeance. By the wedding time, I will be a petite little lady.

So, here's the plan (I promise I had nothing to do with it - I'm just a pawn in their plot!)...

My mother is making me an Audrey Hepburn-esque (the pattern hasn't been secured but this is the original idea) tea length gown in...WHITE! LOL! I'm for real. My mother is fed up with the nonsense and she wants to step on as many toes as she can.

In addition, she is going to purchase Manolo Blahnik shoes - and a handbag - to peek out from under the dress. (After the wedding, I'll donate them to charity so they can be auctioned - I can't bear the thought of having shoes and a bag that expensive in my possession!)

Last, I have been instructed to revert back to my old school training - I'm going to be as poised as I can be and treat everyone with a little contempt and a little sugar.

Well...that's the plan anyway. :)

Jeni, you have definite style!! :D

damn. can i get not invited into a wedding party?? i want some manolos! your mom rocks!

Wives abusing husbands...it's a bit more rare than vice-versa, but it still happens..
 

Wow...someone needs to get Dr. Phil or a good therapist on this relationship, STAT! It sounds like your brother is setting himself up for a relationship of spousal abuse.

Jeni, it sounds to me that your brother has had his self-esteem eroded and he will tolerate ANY behavior, no matter how terrible, in order to perpetuate this relationship.

find and utilize the black sheep cousin of your family. especially funny if they can say something horribly inappropriate to ruin a special occassion and create awkward silences.

oh, and communicate to your brother's fiancee. maybe she's oblivious to the trail of devastation in her wake.

hehe, like insinuating that the bride is preggers b/c the white dress makes her tummy look a little bigger

oh yeah, i woke up in an evil mood!

way to go for your mom....
the bride to be sounds like quite the piece of work.
go and look so lovely, evil bride can't open her mouth without sounding lika a total dolt.

I don't think that it's appropriate for anyone other than the bride to wear white at a wedding. :(

While I agree that you should look fabulous, I have to go with PnC here.

You will take the focus off the bride, but not in a way that is flattering to you. Most people won't know the situation, they're more likely to be thinking "hey, who's the beotch who wore white? doesn't she know that that's entirely wrong?"

Look, I understand your parents are upset and you're upset, but buck up and accept the fact that this isn't your wedding. How would you feel if someone did that to you on your big day and was out to humiliate you? She has a right to choose her own bridal party.

Your parents are paying for and hosting the rehearsal. You're going to be there.

Get a flattering dress for the wedding, lose weight if you want to, but behave and be nice.

Whether or not the bride is a mean and cruel person is irrelevant right now-- it's not your wedding. It's your brother's and his bride's. And he loves her. And if you love your brother, you'll curb your enthusiasm to ruin this important occasion in his life. If your feelings are hurt, step it up and go talk to the bride! You're about to be related to one another. Have you thought that in your brother and his fiance planning this wedding together, it's not all about you and ways to make your life miserable?

I'm sorry to be coming off as cruel, but I don't see where someone hurting your feelings gives you the right to make the same wrong as they may have. Just talk to her and air things out.

The best revenge, in this case, is looking GOOD--and not just living well! :)

Once again, adpiucf, you have given stellar advice.

This marriage is doomed. Just sit back and support your brother.

While it feels delicious to think and plot along those lines, the only thing people will remember is how childish and petty you will seem to them.

The "wedding" is just ONE DAY...one party (ok..stretch it out to a weekend). This wench is going to be your sister-in-law for a lot longer (depending on when and if your brother wises up for afterwhile the fog of "new love and sex" will clear into reality of living with the other person).

Think ahead...there will holidays, parties, birth of children etc. Do you want to alienate her so far as she keeps your brother hostage and away from your family each time something comes up? Oh I have seen this happen again and again.

Take the high road, cry in private or on your mom's shoulder, share the travesty quietly and in whispers to trusted family members (who will undoubtedly share it around as families tend to do) and remember...

Living well is the BEST revenge.

I am with jeni! i been on her end before and it aint fun!


I hope this plan of yoru mom and aunt includes you going to the rehearsal dinner.....YOU BETTER Screw the BRIDE your parents pay ....you go!


I like KDanni idea spread rumor the bride is preggers and see it spread like wildfire!

Some folks around here are spoiling the fun!! :p Actually, now that I think about it, white isn't altogether flattering if you're not in the very best of shape with a killer tan. So, perhaps, I should go with my favorite color PINK!!!

Any thoughts??

I was actually thinking of a pink or red dress depending on your skin tone. Here is my suggestion: go to the wedding, look great, have a blast, and take lots of pictures for your scrapbook. A wedding is the bride's day to shine so let her have her day. You can enjoy it also. :)

i would go with a bright vibrant rich red and blow her away!

I was think a black dress. Every girl could always use a little black dress.

Nah, I'm all about the red. Too many women there are probably going to be wearing black.

i went through the same thing...
 

dude i totally feel you. my brother got married in may and none of our family was in the wedding!! my now sister-in-law is a total bitch and she lies and is hypocritical about a lot of things. even with all of that you still want to be in the wedding because its your brother, and for me i just wanted my nieces in the wedding. the day of the wedding we finally convinced him to let our two little nieces give away the programs at the door.


i think you should wear a bright color dress with a big had and a sash that everone would love and goo after lol:p

Yeah, it could be like she's in mourning.