Re: Please be aware.............
 

I guess at my school we aren't sent an incredible amount of recs (I think there were maybe six last year), so I don't really know all about it, but I thought that was the kind of thing people were supposed to do if they didn't know any alumnae themselves.

Re: Please be aware.............
 

I wonder if this is a regional issue? Most times, if PNMs do not know any alumnae personally, they are encouraged to contact a Panhellenic Alumnae group to respectfully request assistance with securing informational recs. Many alum associations and alum panhellenics expect this and willingly help those PNMs who have no family or contacts that are Greek and able to help them.

Re: Re: Please be aware.............
 

I think she meant it more as don't expect to email her your info and her to come back with rec's from all the sororities you would like without you putting in the work. I think it's fine to contact her to get some contact info, but expect that YOU will be doing the work, not her.

bumping this up:

Oh yeah, don't wait till 2 weeks until recruitment and start begging for recs...

failure to prepare on your part does NOT constitute an emergency on mine

This should go to the ALUMNAE too. Last year I got a call from one of the members of our alumnae chapter (older woman) the DAY BEFORE recruitment was starting at HER chapter (the UW) asking me how she could go about getting the rec to the chapter. She's been involved with the collegiate chapter longer than me and knows the recruitment advisor (who's phone number conveniently isn't in our newsletter) and yet she needed my help.........lordy

Oh AMEN to the last 2 posts. Two years ago, a PNM who was going to a big SEC school contacted me for recs 2 weeks before rush.:eek: I wondered how well she'd do--she got cut by several groups (and was mad about it) but did get into a strong chapter.

PNMs! Pleeeaaassse get your recs early!

Ain't that the truth! Last year, I got a call from a sister whose pledge sister's daughter was going through recruitment at a big SEC school. The call came the day everyone, including me, was leaving for convention!

Hey PNMs!

If you're looking for recs, don't go to the forum of every sorority on Greek Chat and cut and paste a message to the effect of "I am going to St. Bernard State and really want to be a member of Mu Tau Nu, you girls are the super bestest!! Where can I get a rec tHaNkS!!@$%"

The only thing possibly more gauche is pointedly posting this in only "selected" sorority forums of the groups on your campus - i.e. the "top" groups that you think are the only ones worthy of you.

You think that's bad? Every year I get phone, fax and email recs after Recruitment has already started, sometimes even after 3rd stage (right before pref). What slays me then is when the alum gets upset because her PNM was already dropped. Like it's my fault we didn't know anything about the girl!

In some of these alum's defense, they've been out of the loop for so long that they don't know what is happening in the sorority world-- if their daughters really want to join a sorority, they should do their own dirty work. Non-legacy PNMs have proven they can hustle and contact every person they know, as well as their mom's boss's doorman's third cousin's roommate's friend to get a rec-- why can't a legacy?

It's not mom's job and they have no right to get their undergarments in a twist if their kid is dropped from their precious sorority, especially if they themselves did not even write a rec for their child in time.

I realize that moms will continue to moan, whine, complain and remove support if their child isn' selected to join "MY SORORITY," and I'm sure it hurts if your child is dropped from your organization, but that's life. Rejection is part of it and even all the supplementary paperwork in the world isn't going to change the fact that your child could be a better fit for another sorority. Recruitment is a mutual selection between PNM and sorority--- not between mom on PNM's behalf and sorority.

ETA: Moms-- sorry to offend. You represent the minority of women with legacies. I realize the women on this BB are involved alumnae and know the deadlines or are at least here wanting to learn more. But we all know that a legacy is a courtesy introduction and that at some point, your daughter has to stand on her own. It would be a travesty for a legacy to receive a bid just because of her legacy... and to spend the next 4 years wondering if the chapter really wanted her. This is a concern I have seen even with legacies at even some of the most competitive recruitments. /end rant

^^^^^Amen sista! What she said!

DC

Bumping this to make it active again.

PNMs, if you are looking for recs, GC should be your LAST resort. We don't know you in real life (except in a few cases). We have no idea if the information you are giving us is true. We'll gladly direct you as to where to go to secure them, but don't go to every (example) Phi Mu on the site begging for one.

We "oldsters" realize you conduct a huge amount of your daily lives over the internet, much more than we could have ever imagined when we were in school, but this is one area where you just SHOULD NOT.

I have clearly stated that I will NOT write recs for people on GC. However, I have stated in places that if the PNM had tried and tried and was stuck, i'd help them figure out who else they could contact (but, I know later on I got fed up and said that if they were getting nowhere, to contact KD HQ, but people still PM me).

If you are going to ask for my help- AT LEAST HAVE MADE AN EFFORT FIRST! One email to one person does not equal a lot of effort on your part. Email that person again. Contact the local panhel. Contact our HQ for a contact person. There are hundreds of posts on GC about where you can find people to write you recs. Contacting a stranger on the internet for help should be your LAST RESORT. I'm not inclined to help you find a rec if all you have done is email one person.

I'm also not inclined to help you if your PM looks like it was written by a 12 year old fluent in net-speak. If that's the way you approached your potential recommenders, it's no surprise they didn't get back to you. I'm not a total grammar-whore, but at least make an effort at formal writing. This is a request for help to someone that you don't know, not an IM to your BFF.

reposting my reply from another link
 

If you are a PNM and you have secured an informational rec for a sorority, please do not go out seeking additional informational recs for that sorority. The chapter will just be annoyed. Informational recs are recommendation forms filled out with your general info, grades, and activities/honors by alumnae who are doing it as a courtesy-- meaning they are not family members, friends and people who know you well and they have checked off a box stating such.

Multiple informational recs to the same sorority are redundant and unnecessary. You are wasting your time, the time of the additional alumnae who are assisting you, and the chapter's time. The chapter may even develop a negative impression of you because you have created more paperwork for them and done absolutely nothing to distinguish yourself with any new information or bring a new perspective of what you have to offer sorority membership.

If you have mutliple recs from personal sources, that's a completely different story. Or if you have one recommendation submitted and individualized letters of support from other personal sources; again, this brings actual perspective to your application.

There's a such thing as overdoing it. Multiple informational recs are the perfect way to start on the wrong foot.

Please remember to ask everyone in your life-- parents, family friends, teachers, neighbors, etc., for a rec before you solicit strangers for informational recs on the internet. Try the Alumnae Panhellenic in your hometown before you resort to looking up strangers. Good luck with recruitment and if you know that the culture of your campus's recruitment places an emphasis on recs, start early to get those into the chapters!

Recs at my school are listed as "optional" and recommended I think. However, I know that a lot of top houses will cut girls early when they don't know them well because she doesn't have a rec.

do I need a rec?
 

Ok so from what I understand, I don't need a rec because I do not have aspecific sorority that I am like dying to pledge. Is this correct? I mean I have a few that I am more interested in, but I am going to keep an open mind about where I fit in best. So yeah... am I right in guessing that I don't need a rec?
Thanks!

several sororities require a recommendation for a pnm(potential new member,aka rushee) before they can pledge a girl. zta does.i will leave it to other alumnae to say whether their sorority does or does not.

there have also been several threads this year about some sororities on some campuses having to release large numbers of girls, due to the high percentage of girls wanting to return to those chapters. especially on the first day of recruitment, not having a recommendation on a girl might be an easy reason not to keep a girl on the invitation list. so would a gpa lower than the chapters minimum required gpa. you can't change your gpa, but you can obtain recs.

most panhellenic websites that discuss recommendations will state that "it is the sororities obligation to obtain a recommendation on a pnm, if it is required." if it is a popular house, on a large campus with lots of girls participating in recruitment, the sorority may already have so many candidates that DO have a recommendation, that it would take a very special person for the sorority to work real hard to find a rec for her.

if you know that girls rushing on your campus usually have recommendations, then i would suggest that you get as many as you can. not just to the houses you THINK you are interested in-your interests might change during the week, and your #1 choice before recruitment began, might not remain your favorite. why shoot yourself in the foot, when you can maximize your chances? a recommendation will not guarantee you a bid, but it MAY get you invited back to the next party.

if you know that recommendations are rare on your campus, then it would not be such a big deal.

I totally understand. The only problem is that I don't know anyone else who is rushing/has rushed/has been in a sorority so I don't know whether or not recs are a big deal on my camus or not...

Are you an AZ Wildcat? A rec would be a BIG help if you want one of their top houses.

I am going to University of Kentucky

Recs = Good Idea

Contact the local Alumnae Panhellenic (list can be found at www.npcwomen.org) and they should be able to help you.

You'll want to have recs at UK.

GO BIG BLUE!

I've contacted the alumnae panhellenic asking for contact info like you suggested, but my fear is that I will not have time to get recs (rush is the 12th-18th). I feel like a slacker, but I really only found out about recs when I found this forum (approx. 3 days ago!). So now I am very nervous about not having recs...

I just email the recruitment president and she said that I don't need recs, and that if they are required then the chapter will have to get them themselves. I am still waiting to hear back from the alumnae panhellenic, I am still going to try and get some recs, but I feel alot better now that I know they aren't required. Thank you everyone!

Think about it this way: If the sorority is trying to decide between you and another girl, and everything else between the two of you is equal (gpa, activities, the sisters that rushed both of you both liked you really well) but the other girl already has a rec, and they would have to hunt one down on you, which one do you think they're going to go with?

They may not be absolutely mandatory, but they do help.

yeah, that's what I was thinking too, but I am still waiting to get some contact info from the alumnae panhellenic.

Get the recs that you can, and don't stress about the other ones. Just because a rec will help you out, doesn't mean you absolutly can't get in without one, but it also doesn't mean to give up trying to get them because they're not mandatory. That's all I'm trying to say. :) :)

thanks!:D

That too!

Wow!!

I've already gotten a very nice handwritten (!) thank you note for writing a rec!

How soon is too soon to ask about recs? One of my teachers told me she'd get one for me and I didn't even ask her.

are you a senior? I hope, LOL, because if not your teacher is seriously obsessed. ;) But if she volunteered, how nice of her! It's never too early to start collecting recs, that way when it gets closer to rush you can worry about other things, like shoes and clothes. :) What school will you be attending?

I'm a junior, and she is obsessed! She made us memorize the Greek Alphabet "because we'll need to know it in college". She's still my favorite teacher, and I know I'll need her help.

I'm applying to Mercer, UGA, USC, and Clemson, for sure. I haven't figured out my safety nets yet. Or should I delete those? I see everyone who tells her story uses code names.

I forgot about clothes! My mother is forever saying that "this would be lovely for a Pref Party" or first or second or third rounds! She's funny -- I think she's a tribute to Lily Pulitzer & Anne Klein, lol!

The earliest time to start accumulating recs is in March of your senior year of high school/the March before your recruitment if you are an upperclassman already at college. Put together a social resume and a headshot/full body photo for each of your recommenders,as well as the addresses for the sorority chapter where they should send the rec. Begin contacting alumnae within your network and contact the Alumnae Panhellenic in your area to see about obtaining the rest.

If you do not yet know where you will be attending school, it is ok for the alumnae to send recs to the universities you have applied to. Make sure they send the recommendation directly to the sorority chapter at the university. There may be a form associated with the rec; the alumna will get it from her sorority.

Make sure to send a Thank-You note to your recommenders once they send in the rec. You should not have any sort of communication with the collegiate sorority women at your university, even though it may be tempting to check and see if your rec was received. Don't even think about it! You can ask your recommender if she sent it; usually the chapters will send the recommenders a thank-you to let them know it was received.

Update your recommenders post-recruitment with a last thank you note and let them know how it turned out. Whether or not you joined their sorority (or even if you dropped out of recruitment), they will be happy to hear from you.

ETA: The photos you provide your recommender with don't have to be Glamour Shots- just a friendly snapshot - but it does help the chapters to be able to put a face to the name and here in Texas we encourage the women to submit these photos with their recs. It isn't required.

to add on to adpiucf's excellent advice, you might even want to include an addressed, stamped envelope that the alum can put her completed rec. in and mail-might help speed up the process and as an alum., i certainly appreciate and am impressed when a pnm thinks to do this!!

Thank you for your responses--you're very kind! My mother tells me about rush, but I'm sure things have changed since she rushed. I'll be sure to keep all of your ideas in mind. I do have one question about the picture--my mom said that I should use a cheerleader shot and a portrait shot. Is that too much? A friend of mine who rushed last year had the two types of photo superimposed, but you didn't see her as well. I've kept up my grades & activities & honors, but is mentioning a title (Homecoming Court, or a Miss Small Town) bragging? It seems like such a fine line to me.

I pretty much like all the schools equally, except I live too close to the one! I love my parents, but don't want them breathing down my neck! I went through all the college websites, and wrote down all the sororities each has--I have some of the recs figured out (from church & school), but my mom's been taking me to Panhellenic events since I was in middle school, just in case there are some ladies who are in sororities I don't have covered yet. We visit every table, and I've seen some of the ladies filling in forms which look like the recs my mother has filled in. I'm afraid it might be seen as rude if I contact someone just for a rec, when she doesn't know me beforehand. I'm also going to visit the friend I mentioned for a weekend, to see if I like the campus--but she said she can't give me a rec for her school. Sometimes I feel like my mother & I are planning an Army manuever!

WOW.


ETA: Why did you say in this post from last April that you were going to rush last August, and your profile says you are only 16....?

I'm embarrassed. I've been lurking a long time, and didn't want you to think I'm too young. But I guess I am. I'm just so excited about it, going away and all. I'll come back when it gets closer. Sorry.