Frankly, my dear, I don't give a d*amn!!

Badges! We don't need no stinking badges!

So what are you supposed to do with them for the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day?

I'm your huckleberry

"Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.

Shampoo is better! No, conditioner is better! Oh really, Swan? Really.

say hello to my little friend

Hey! It's all ball bearings nowadays. Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads, and I'm gonna need 'bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that Quaker State.

I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I'd never be tardy.

I am Jack's smirking revenge.

You fucking people......

Could we PLEASE postpone the suicide attempts until next period?

Show me the money.

Reality pulled out of here five minutes ago.

No Franck. Tell Hank it's not okay. If I have to move out all the
furniture and add amps and repaint the walls and get a new tux and pay
for swans, then I'd like the cheaper chicken.

Fuck fuck, mother mother fuck, mother fuck mother fuck noish noish noish

Noish noish noish shmoking weed, shmoking weed, drinking beers beers beers, rolling fattis, shmoking blunts

Who shmokes the blunts?

We shmoke the blunts

Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.

I'm what counts out here, not your fucking clubs, or your fucking TV shows

and what the fuck are you doing on TV anoyhow?

So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" Well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. 'cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much.

Talk to me, Goose.

I feel the need, the need for speed.

Donger's here for five hours, and he's got somebody. I live here my whole life, and I'm like a disease.

I'm not Josie Grossie anymore!

He's got a Band called Fuck Your Yankee Blue Jeans or something like that

Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

That's the way Pop wanted it.

Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?

What the FUCK is PC Load Letter???

She liked to fuck.....hahahaha

Then this fool went off and had a party, and they all starting trying to pin a tail on me. Then they all got drunk, and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "Piñata! Piñata!" What the hell is a piñata, anyway?

I use my great IQ to decide what color lip gloss to wear and how to hit three keggers before curfew.

I'm funny? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you?

What's normal? Those damn Dawson's river kids, sleeping in each other's beds and whatnot?

-

Look kids, Big Ben!

Hey Butt-head, is it normal for the inside of your bunghole to itch?

That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset....people DIE!!!

You get four guys all fighting over who's gonna be Mr. Black. But they don't know each other, so nobody wants to back down. No way, I pick. You're Mr. Pink. Be thankful you're not Mr. Yellow.

I don't believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention. I believe that one should become a person like other people.

I have nipples, Greg, can you milk me?

NEEEEERRRRRRRDDDDSSS!!!!!!!!