Well, I guess I'm *kinda* changing my name. The only reason why I'm not completely changing my name is to carry on my mother's maiden name to a new generation (my grandpa and his sibling had no sons, and their children had no sons, so the name would die when my grandpa and his brother die) that will hopefully include a boy. I don't know, maybe I'll find someway to make it a family middle name or something, and then I won't keep the one part of my "maiden" name. I'm not keeping my dad's name not because I don't love him, but since the name has carried on to another generation, it's not my concern :D


Very true....but I also think that teachers need to also not get all flustered by the prospect of a different last name and tell a parent "well, whatever your name is" (one of my teachers actually said that to my mom! :eek: )

Same Here
I am Christia Melissa S.
When I marry I will be Christia Melissa S. M.

but I will go by Christia M. and I will be Mrs. M

I plan on pulling a Hilary Rodham Clinton myself.

When I get married I'll be Sandy D***** G*******. That should be fun.

Pure and simple PAIN IN THE BUTT to do all the paperwork to change my name, that's it nothing else. I like my name and see no reason to change it.

Currently, I don't plan on having kids so I don't see there being a problem with the name stuff. If I did plan on having kids, I would change my name but only because I would like to name my child my maiden name (Kelsey).

No professional reason really and not an independence thing, just a whole lot less paperwork to complete.

I didnt think it was a pain at all to change my last name to my hubbys. We went to the office downtown and I filled out one paper to make it official and then they snet me a new social security card like in a week or so. I also hit the DMV that day and got it over with fast there too. We combined bank accounts so I didnt have to change anything there and all the new utilities in my name are in my new name. It actually for me was sooo fun. I was so excited last year before we got married. I couldnt wait to be able to sign it mrs p or shannan p. I was so excited especially since weve been together 6 years before we got married so it was about time lol.... I see myself married to him forever. His parents have been married for over 30 years and I see us being like them.

Did you practice signing your name beforehand?

I know my cousin's wife probably did that. But then again, she was like 17.

When I got married, I just added my husband's name to mine. So I am now Donna middlename maidenname husband'sname. My husband expected me to take his last name, and although I'm not too fond of it (it's a pain - people can never spell it although it's very very simple! Also, I get a lot of people that chuckle when they hear it and that irritates me.), I took it out of respect for his wishes. All that paperwork was an absolute pain!

However, we got married a few months before we graduated from college, and my diplomas read, "Donna middlename maidenname." When I graduate from law school and any other graduate programs I may pursue, the diplomas will also read, "Donna middlename maidenname." My reasoning was 1-if my husband ever dies or we get divorced, and I remarry, I will have a diploma w/ another man's name on it, 2-I earned (or will earn) the diploma on my own, and 3-no matter what, this is who I will always always be.

I happen to be a Notary Public. On my seal, my name is shown as Donna middleinitial maidenname husband'sname. Generally, this is how I sign everything requiring my signature (such as credit card receipts, etc.). Sometimes I'll drop my middle name and use my maiden name's initial...but this is if I'm in a hurry or if I don't have a lot of room to write.

Sometimes I wish I had hyphenated my name, but not b/c I'm trying to assert strength, but b/c I'm very devoted to my father, and I'm extremely proud of my family's background and history. It's one of the last things I'll have to tie me to my family...and I feel it's disrespectful to just drop it or ignore it.

I get extremely irritated when people assume I'm going to go by his last name. When I got married people assumed I would drop my maiden name, or people assumed I would drop my middle name. I also don't like to be referred to as "Mrs. husband'sfirstname husband'slastname."

Do a lot of people use their middle names? I never use it at all. Unless they ask for it but even most of the time on applications and stuff they just ask for middle initial. I dont use it to sign things, really I dont use it at all. I dont offer it to people so they know, I dont think many of my friends even know what it is cause around here I dont see middle being used much at all. I guess it depends on who you are and maybe even where you live.

Why? I never go by my middle name. But I would NEVER drop it. My parents gave me that name and it's my name and as much as I hate it I would never ever change it. I could see having 2 middle names.

Anyhoo, I would never drop my middle name, but I have never really given much thought to taking my "husbands" last name. When the time comes I will give it considerable though.

But I agree with what many have said here. Do what you like. It's all a matter of personal preference.

I agree w/ Lady Pi Phi. My parents gave me my name...and as much as I hate it I respect it.

Actually, my first name (Donna) comes from my father's name (Donald). My middle name is the same as my mother's first name. So my name is a combination of both of my parents. My whole life I've hated my middle name...and my mother and I have never had a good relationship so that didn't help. But a few years before I got married, my perspective started to change. It's my name...it's what my parents wanted me to have. Especially in cases where the child is named after the parent, or a grandparent, that's a connection that isn't easily forgotten.

In the case of a woman who's middle name is the mother's maiden name (or another family name)...what does she do? She might not want to forget her mother's family...and she might not want to forget her father's family either.

One day, I'll be using that middle initial in honor & memory of my mother's name, not just b/c it's my name.

Guys just have it so much easier - they don't have to deal w/ this crap. :rolleyes:

I just added my husband's name at the end. My DL only has my first, maiden, and his last though because there wasn't enough room and I had to make a decision. I go by Brandi HisLastName, but in writing it's all 4 names.

I have given a lot of thought to pulling a Hillary also...I know I will if I ever get published or somehow find myself famous :D

I use mine all the time. My username here for instance, Laylin is my middle name. I love the name (I was named after someone), so I try to use it as much as possible. I guess that's another reason for not adding my maiden name as my middle name, I don't want it to get in the way of my middle name.

I'm another one in the "changing my last name because of father issues" group. Also, my first name is long and French, and my last name is long and German, and they don't flow together at all. My boyfriend's last name is Indian, but it sounds like it could be Italian, so it goes with the French first name. Plus, I like the idea of being "the Gxxxxx's." I think it will be nice to have the same last name as someone else in my nuclear family, since I never have. (I was born out of wedlock, and have my father's last name, not my mom's maiden name. Then, my mom married and took her husband's last name, but he never adopted me [thank God, but that's a whole other story...]. So, I've always been the odd one out in the family.)

I do have a question to all the girls out there who hate the idea of taking their husbands last name. If you keep your own and then you and your husband have children, whos last name will they get? Wont that be a pain to go around with teachers and people unsure of what name to call you. I know I kept my real fathers name and my mom eventually got remarried so theyd always call my mom mrs h (my last name) and she corrected them. Isnt that sort of a pain in the butt and if you did get a divorce would you make your children pick which last name they wanted?

In that sense, I am a family girl. I want my children to have the same last name as me and their father. When I got married I took his last name because I felt it was like we were becoming one, together, and we were becoming our own little family, so I wanted us to have the same last names. He probably would have said he didnt care if I didnt take his, though I think secretly hed be hurt. I just feel like we are saying that we love each other and we are not going to worry about what happens if someone dies or a divorce for now we love each other and we are happy to be with each other and love each other and we want to be a family. I want my children to have that same last name so we are all a nice big happy family.

I know it may sound corny and I know everyone is very independant these days, but for me, I feel like I love my hubby so much and I want to be a part of him and I want to show the world how much we love each other by putting mr and mrs p all over the place. I have the towels, the welcome sign, the checks with our names, I have it all. I know it doesnt mean you dont love your hubby any less if you dont take his name at all! I just knew I wanted his last name as mine when he first proposed to me.

I know, in my instance, if I hadn't taken my husband's last name, or even if I had hyphenated my last name (which, it's really not too late to do that), our children (if we have any) will have his last name. He is the last male of his family w/ his last name, so we definitely will pass his last name on to our children (I think that's another reason why I agreed to take his last name).

We have the joint checking account w/ our names, and we have stuff w/ our monogram on it. I think that we would have the joint checking account even if I didn't take his last name...we would just have different last names on the checks! I know eventually I'd like to get a set of silver w/ our monogram on it...that is of course waaaayy down the road when we can afford 12 place settings of silver silverware!

To me, it's just frustrating b/c people ASSUME you're going to take the name, or people ASSUME he's the head of the household or the one who makes all the family decisions. Taking a name is just an extension of that, I think.

As for the teachers and people not knowing how to address you, I would think they could ask, "Are you Sally's mother?" instead of "Are you Mrs. Smith?" if they were unsure or uncomfortable in how they addressed you.

I don't know, just my $0.02.

That's my situation... I currently have two middle names.

Ginger Ann Wright G..............

Wright is my family name, of which I'm the last descendant. There is no way I would drop that for my maiden name, which I really have no ties to! And to hyphenate I would then have 5 names, the last of which (my last name and his last name) are quite long.

I talked to my parents about eliminating "Ann" becuase it doesn't really have any significance, but they were upset with the notion of me dropping it. *shrug*

I'm also kind of glad to be getting rid of my maiden name for a few reasons. First of all, while my dad and I get along great, I don't get along with his family very well (my mom and I are heathens, apparently, because we're not Catholic) and really have no interest in having their name. It's also a rather well known name in my home town, and having that name comes with a lot of assumptions, so... onto the new! :)

My boyfriend's father announced at dinner a while back that a marriage will never succeed if the woman does not change her name. My parents have different last names, and I have my dad's last name, so I just giggled a little.

My questions is: is it acceptable to keep your own name (no legal change) but use his name socially (as in Mr. and Mrs. Such-and-such)?

I'm REALLY not looking forward to hearing it mispronounced constantly by 7th graders when I start teaching, so I might make the switch if and when I get married...

But if he had a weird last name that I didn't like-I'd keep mine probably. [/B][/QUOTE]

I agree. Also I would probably keep my last name that I have now for work (to give to clients) and have my married name for my colleagues and everyone else in my life if that makes sense?

I wouldn't drop my middle name because it is also my late mother's and if I ever have a daughter it will be her middle name as well.

My last name - well, ugg, I love my dad & that side of the family with all my heart but I can't wait to get rid of it for several reasons. It's not just long & German, it translates somewhat amusingly to English. I'm tired of getting it misspelled, mispronounced and snickered about. I went to college with people with very very long Italian and Polish names, but I thought they had more panache, somehow. Mine is just clunky. Plus as long as I have it, no matter how old I get, there will still be people who say "are you Mom33/Dad33's girl?" I guess at this age I should be over that but I still hate it - like I'm not me, just an appendage of them. It's different to be "so and so's wife" or "33girl the ASA" because I chose that on my own.

I'm the last one in my family, but even so, my dad would have a cow if I didn't take my hubby's name.

When my aunt got married, she kept her maiden name, because as she said, I've been a Herlastname longer than I'll ever be a Hislastname. (They do not have any children).

When it comes to me having kids, my husband and I will have to sit down and discuss it rationally. Would he be willing to have the kids have a hypenated name (as mine will be), or do we give the children his last name and the middle name is my mother's maiden name? I don't mind taking on my husband's name, but as I explained earlier, I took on my mom's maiden name to carry it to another generation, so *somehow* the maiden name is going to end up in at least one of the children's names! :)

My .02
 

I was born in Mexico and my name is G__ D__ L__, where D__ is my father's last name and L__ is my mother's last name. When she married my father, she dropped L__ and became Mrs.D__. On my driver's license, both of my last names are on it, and people constantly think that L__ is my last name. However, all my paperwork, D__ is my last name. It's not that I don't respect my mother's family and her last name, but I think of myself as G__ D__. I haven't hyphenated the last names because I never have and it was just be odd to do so at this point.
In the event that I get married, I will keep G__ D__ and hyphenate his last name. If we have children, I would prefer for their last name to be HisLastName-D__. However, that will all be discussed in the event of marriage.

i plan on being Monica Mylastname Hislastname....but for our kids to just take his last name. I will be Monica Hislastname, though, for all normal purposes, and ppl will refer to me as the "mrs" or whatever. i also plan to have my maiden name as one of my child's names (for a boy).....it's different, but we can just call him "ben" for short. :) i also plan on having my mother's maiden name as one of our kid's middle names. i like the passing on of names (my middle name is my great-great grandmother's maiden name, and i dig it), and if the husband's name gets super passed on, the ladies of my family can get passed down, too.

i like the idea of taking the husband's name, though......i think of it as more of a gift, for someone to want me to have their name, and so i will take it with pride. :)

I don't "hate the idea" of taking my husband's name. I have personal and professional reasons why keeping my family name would be in my best interests. I don't think this means that I'm not a "family" girl--I think it means that I want to maintain my ties to my family of origin as well as to my new family.

From the experience of my family, I have a pretty good idea of how this would go. My mother hyphenates personally, but she maintained throughout our academic career (by signing papers and introducing herself to the teachers and communicating with them on a regular basis) exactly what she should be called. Since she and my father visited my school on a regular basis, there was no mistaking whatsoever what the story was in the Munchkin household. My sister didn't change at all--with all of the different family structures that are so common now, the teachers and my niece and nephew's friends' parents know what's up. No confusion here. :)

Since children are at least a decade away, if ever, I'm not going to lose sleep as to what to call these little ova. :p

Being the stubborn person that I am, I will only have a problem with taking my husband's name if he insists. LOL. Personally, I love my last name, but my desire to share my name with my future husband and children is stronger. Don't like the hyphen or last as middle name thing. Shoot, I hate my middle name, but I will never drop it (variation of my mom's name).

I will change my lastname to my husband's.

I love and respect my parents, and my grandparents very, very much, but I HATE my lastname. I've had to deal with 21 years of people making jokes about and poking fun at my lastname.. and I'm so sick of it :(

I thought about keeping it and doing the "Hillary" deal with my lastname then his.. but my lastname is like lime green with blue polka dots.. it doesn't go with ANYTHING.

I'm def. keeping my middle name.. especially since it's technically part of my first name (on forms and such I put Ann as first name then M as middle initial..but my real name is Ann Marie as first name) <-- for some reason, 2 first names really confuses the heck out of people. :confused:

Just please, ladies.... if you keep your lastname, but it's different from your childrens.... don't yell at your kids friends if they call you "Mrs. Kidslastname"

When I was about 8 or 9, I was over at my friend Colleen's house. Her mom said Hi to me, and I said "Hi Mrs. Colleen's Last Name" Her mother acted like I'd called her a dirty whore, started screaming at me, and sent me home. All she had to say was "Oh, no honey, my last name is different than Colleen's. It's Xxxxxxxx".

Then again, as I found out later on, her mom was craaaaaaazy.

I actually came up with a reason to change my last name yesterday (had forgotten about this little issue).

I have the type of last name that is also a first name (Kelsey) so when people send me emails, if their address book lists last name, first name then they have a habit (those who don't know me well) of starting the email "Kelsey". So if my husband had a last name that was much more "last name oriented" I might actually consider it.

I wouldn't mind a last name of Jones (but that's a big time inside joke)...........

Since I'm thoroughly confident I won't be getting married before I'm out of school, I'm going to stay as Kathleen Marie McIrish professionally. If somebody in a social circle calls me Kathleen Imaginaryman, I won't mind, but professionally, it will be my McIrish maiden name and nothing else. My parents are paying good money for me to get these degrees and I think they deserve to keep their names on them.

Also, I tend to date guys with really stupid awkward long last names. I think the only way I'd ever change it is if it was like one of my customers last weekend was - her maiden name was O'Irish like mine, but the man she married had an A last name, so now her initials are KMA and she loves it! :p

I'm throwing caution to the wind and keeping all of my names! I earned them, so I am going to keep them all! :)

I refuse to drop my middle name because I do use it frequently. I don't want to drop my maiden name off into obscurity, though it is an odd name.

I guess I just don't see what the big deal is? Technically, I will be Mrs. FirstName MiddleName MaidenName MarriedName, though I am sure, socially, it would vary upon the situation.

I'm going to take fiance's last name when we get married. But I want the minister and DJ to announce us as Mr. & Mrs. Orlando and Kathy HisLastName. Partially because he's been married before so it won't be the first time he's heard it said :p , but mostly because I don't want to be referred to as Mrs. My Husband (though I don't mind it on invitations and such).

I also have a very generic "American" last name. However, finace has an even more generic Spanish last name. I suppose I need to learn how to pronounce it correctly, though. I remember vacationing in Mexico and putting our reservations under his name in my American accent. I felt silly. I do think it will be fun though when I have that very Spanish last name and I'm clearly very Irish! :D

you hit it right on the money. if i get married i will NOT change my name. nopenopenope. i hate patriarchal customs. i also dont plan on having any kids, but if we did have an 'accident', s/he would get my last name. (-;

I more than likely will hyphenate my name. Although my kids will probably have Mr. Mysteryman's last name just so there's less confusion on their part. Also my last name is fairly long so I wouldn't want them to have to have the last name of Harbison-YaddaYaddaYadda :)

I am about 5+ yrs away from marriage, but when that time comes I will change my name and have my maiden name as my middle name and my husband's last name as my last name.

I think that it should depend on the individual woman. If she does then go ahead. If not, then it shouldn't be a problem. I think that it should be a joint decision because you have become one and its not about just you.

Q

I changed my name when I got married because, frankly, I'd spent my entire life at the end of the alphabet and I was sick of it! :) Plus, my maiden name is difficult to pronounce and my married name is easy.

If I'd thought of it, I would have probably kept my maiden name and make it my middle name, but that's not done very often where I'm from. Most of the women I know who have done that are Southerners.

I keep my last name.

He keeps his (or change it to mine if he likes).

The kids keep his name (my name is hyphinated already).

i plan on keeping my name even after marriage (we'll cross that bridge when we get to it though) i'm very proud of my family heritage and can bear to see it die off...

(i hate the pressure of being one of the last namesakes)

Oh this is almost exactly my situation. I always said I would marry a man named Jones or Smith or something that could not be messed up! Lucky me, I found a "Wise". :)

My only problem is that as much as I've hated my last name, I have a very strong connection to my family and I hate to give that up. But my last name sounds HIDEOUS in front of his name. My sorority sisters call me it ALL THE TIME.. however lately they've just shortened it to Nicole Z-W.

I have no idea what I'm going to do when the time comes. I'm definitely going to take his last name because I can't stand mine, but I don't know if I should keep it on there or not. His mom kept part of her name and it came in handy when she divorced. Much less paperwork.

I did end up changing my name for a couple of reasons.
First social security doesn't allow for enough letters as to fit my full name. I had to either drop my middle name or my maiden name. It was a hard decision but I dropped my maiden name because, second, I found I was having trouble handling things for my husband since people didn't believe were married. Also on both houses we have purchased the bank could never get my name right and the deed had me with his last name even though that wasn't my legal name yet.

To be honest... changing your name sounds a big pain in the butt. Forget keeping madien names for independence or professional reasons - here's to laziness.

Now, in all seriousness, my currently bf (and hopefully future husband) has a Czech last name. No one gets it right. Ever. Part of me doesn't want to subject myself to that professionally.

I considered hyphenation, but my lastname is really Italian, so it just doesn't sound right.

I figure that I'll keep my name as is, but go as Ms. hislastname informally - at teacher things and such. Aliases are common in my family so perhaps that why I don't really care. Regardless, my children will take his lastname as this seems the most logical way to do things. Children who have different last names as their father get weird questions at times, and as for hyphenating their last name - I don't want them to have to deal with that anymore than I do.

The joke is that both our last names are two syllables... I'm R_B_ and he's V_CH_ so the joke is to go as the R_CH_s. Hee hee!