Just to add my .08 cents worth. It has alot to do that a certain standard regarding our beloved Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated must be maintained. We as sorors must maintain that standard that is we must represent only in the confines in which we are bound by. We must not allow others to influence our natural human feelings to help others in need in such a way it jeopardizes our sorority. Our sisterfriends and significant others must respect that we have made a promise that must not ever be broken and if they love us and our sorority they would never ask us to break our promise. For when and if our sisterfriends become our sorors we expect them to maintain their promise and maintain the standard. We I was in college you never told anyone on the yard that you wanted to become greek and no greek would tell you Anything regarding their FRAT or Sorority!!! It did not and would not happen. I am appalled at the info. which I have attained recently regarding non-greeks and other greeks knowing pertinent information of a particular FRATERNITY or SORORITY. My brother-in-law in fact talks about the greeks in which he dates he knows their rites. I think that is quite SLACK!! I am thankful that my husband, family and friends have respected my love for Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority,Inc. Even the ladies that I know desire membership in our beloved sisterhood. Oh, I had a lady say Oh, I didn't know that you are an AKA you know I have always wanted to join. How do you join? I stated " you must be invited along with other qualifications". Oh really, how do I get invited? I know nothing about this lady except for her name. Back in the day you wouldn't come out and ask someone you didn't know and you would never do it in a public forum. Come on NOW!!!!!!! It is all about RESPECT and this lady is in her mid to late 40s so she knows better.

Evidently NOT, Soror! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

um um um!

I haven't posted very often on the board, but I just want to say that I appreciate a networking tool like this forum. I have met other memberfriends that talk about the problem of sisterfriends being disrespectful and so forth. But don't stop being helpful to the ones that know how to "come correct." I'm grateful for the advise and I take heed. So if anyone hasn't said it yet, or if they have I'll restate it, thank you for being patient and helpful. God Bless

I just wanted to say that I have to thank all of the members of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. for answering my questions and even some that I wanted to ask but didn't because someone else did. The advice, direction, and even the constructive criticism helped me in many ways. Even though I have yet to find out where or not the chapter on my campus is active, I know the proper channels to find out once I am ready to submit. I have to say once again, thanks for everything.

And to my fellow SF's, I know what you ladies are talking about when you try to help someone who has addressed a question in a breach on proper conduct. I HAVE been cussed out several times and then they get blasted in an open forum. Then I get emailed again asking why did they, the Members of AKA (forgive the acronym), go off on them. Then I have to explain to them, like I do my daughter, that somethings are not to be expressed like that or that you should not have said certain words or phrases. After the multiple emails back and forth, they begin to understand from sitting back and reading posts that others have made.

Once again, I would like to thank the ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. and the SisterFriends I have met along my journey.

Sorry the post is so long, but it's like that sometimes.

Much love,
Jade

Hello Sisterfriends and Greetings to the Premiere Pretty Ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated. I must say I greatly appreciate all information that has been bestowed upon me. I am very interested in this sorority, and if not for the advice given to me by members of this great organization, I would not have known which way way forward. I have been gently directed to sites of interest and importance, which is how I happened upon this site.
I do not know what I would do without some of the most important people in my life (my aunt and cousin), and many others who are also willing to just listen when I have a problem.
I am thankful for all those who are always there.

[This message has been edited by reddnhott2020 (edited June 11, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by reddnhott2020 (edited June 12, 2001).]

DISCRETION, DISCRETION!

calling my soror
**Soror Wonderfulllllll08**

Hi Akatude, I emailed you did you get it?

I'm AKA2D '91

Tsk..Tsk...Tsk....whatever happened to discretion? Thanks!!!

wtf? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif

I am POSITIVE my SORORS at your schools chapter told you NOT to discuss anything regarding the event you attended. Maybe I'm wrong......maybe I'm not.

I know that I do. I belong to some sisterfriend clubs on Yahoo and Collegeclub but it seems like it's a waste. All I see is lots of drama and all of that. I joined these clubs, thinking I could gain an insight on this wonderful sorority, but I suppose I'll try harder to find one. I hope I didn't offend anyone. Maybe someone will take me under their wing to guide me! I sure do try hard! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

Shida25,
Why do you think that someone should take you under their wings to school you? You are the one that should be reaching out to learn.

First, I would like to express my gratitude for Alpha Kappa Alpha having the foresight to see how beneficial such a site could be to all interested parties. In my thoughts, the extension is not taken for granted in any way, and I am grateful for the opportunity to interact with you all.
As for those who chose to mishandle the situation, unfortunately, there are unruley people in the world. As a result, one is given the pleasure of choosing whom they will and will not associate with. Although times have apparently changed refrencing ones access to sorrorital information, if one wants to be a member of any organization RESPECT is a key factor! One should not only respect the organization that they seek member into, but they should also, MUST also respect the members of the orginization of which they are interested in becoming a member of.
Alpha Kappa Alpha, Inc. is an outstanding organization of which SF's desire to gain admittance to. Expressing any form of disdain for what a present member has said, or advised is blatent disrespect! The bottom line is that times have changed a lot -- obviously. Rules of etiquet have more than eroded, they are almost non existent.
The last of my comment is to say that this is much more simple than most things are to comprehend, SFs that are out of order need to step back and reevaluate the situation. Recognize where you are in your quest for Alpha Kappa Alpha and respect those that are trying to help you get there! Most of all please remember to smile and say thank you; lots and lots of love to all of you!
-- Sorry for the long wind --

------------------
Anything Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Well

Bellebeaua mentioned the fact that the rules of ettiquet have changed regarding sorority information. I am a neo, and I came to this board as an interestee. The information offered by members, now my sorors, was greatly appreciated, BUT NOT EXPECTED!! I did my own outside research, and what I didn't find, I told myself that maybe as a sisterfriend, I wasn't supposed to know! I just don't understand...whatever information is obtained through this board is out of complete generosity by the members.

Another problem I have with the internet is that maybe we "talk too much"...The post from reddnhot2020 contained information that would not have been shared with thousands of people if not for the internet...(I don't mean to single you out, but your post is a prime example). This is where people begin to "think they know what we do". I have worked very hard to obtain my pearls, and I work hard to preserve the integrity of my sorority.

Maybe it would be best if internet groups like this, didn't give "information" so readily...what do more seasoned sorors think??

------------------
"I am not yet the author of my life; I am still it's unenlightened protagonist"
---Unknown

ROTFLMAO@ this question.
Soror, where do you think comments like:

"NO COMMENT"
"AKA1908.COM"
"ask the Sorors on your campus/ in your area"

and the like came from? The simple fact that TMI (too much information) was being "given freely" to those who need to do their OWN leg work. You know, where NO ONE needs a Soror to take them under her wing. THIS AIN'T the Girl Scouts or the Boys/Girls club. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif

IMO, of course! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

As a SF I must agree with the Ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha Incorporated when they say that there is a lack of humility from SF's when seeking information about your sorority.

I look at it like this:
1. The internet has created a false sense of anonomity (sp?). Which has given SF's a lot of fake heart when addressing you ladies. I use the words false and fake because no matter what you may think if I need to know who is chatting, posting or e-mailing me I can and will find out. Secondly the fake heart is b/c if SF's had to approach a member face to face I doubt that they would be so bold.

2. This generation of interests are totally different from the previous. When you observe their lifestyles, habits, and attitudes the is a general lack of respect for elders and themselves. Of course this isn't true of all the "new" interest but this is a democracy and majority rules!

3. Lastly some SF's have been interest for quite some time and have experienced the lack of respect from members themselves. Yes, you may have something I want. And yes, I will do everything I have to to get where you are including being humble however, I am a woman first and I cannot and will not allow another to disrespect me in any fashion. Be it in person, on the telephone, or internet. For the most part, most members have been gracious enough to be kind to me however there are those that are down right rude and disrespectful. And I am not talking about a lil regulatin' here & there, I know the difference. Mostly this rudeness has not occured in GC message boards but in the GC chat room and the Sisterly Forum Chat room. But I won't re-hash the past any further.

I have been a interest since 1991, the internet was not available then and any contacts I had or made was by sticking my neck out and putting my little butt on the line. Sometimes I made mistakes but I was corrected and have since learned the value of humility. Now that I'm back in school I still practice it. Every now and then I may slip back , but I'm on a 12-step humility program and I'm not too proud to apologize. When I'm wrong I'm wrong.... although that has never happened!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif he http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif he http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif he

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"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful"

When da EAST is in da house....Oh my GOD!!!! DANGER!

[This message has been edited by OhSoPrettyNikki (edited June 12, 2001).]

Soror, I don't think I understand what you're saying...or maybe I didn't phrase correctly what I wantd to say. Could you break it down for me?? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif

Perhaps privately, over email??




------------------
"I am not yet the author of my life; I am still it's unenlightened protagonist"
---Unknown

What I was saying was, many of us, here at GC have decided to use those phrase when SFs ask for "advice".

Many feel that they are just supposed to post and we are to GIVE THEM ALL THE INFORMATION. NOT!

So, that's why some of us use those phrases/comments.

Hope that helps! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

Let's see I know that what most I am going to say has been said, but I felt like I had to say something. I do know for a fact that some sisterfriends use forums and help from ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha as a shoe into Alpha Kappa Alpha... I have had some of my SF's tell me oh well this AKA told me this secret or I am in this club so I know that I am going to make it.... I feel like the ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha are only being sincere with their support and limited facts that can provide us with. It has gotten to a point, that some SF's are abusing this and making it hard for true, hard-working SF's to be taken seriously. I do my best as well to help other SF's... Maybe I should not do this myself, because now I am getting this negative feedback as to, "Oh she thinks she knows everything..." I do believe that We Sisterfriends do appreciate the ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha and the information that they provide.

I too have been a seriously striving sisterfriend since 1991. I remember back then when the "rules" were:

1) You don't tell anyone, not
even your Mom which organization
you are/were interested in

AND

2) Anything you needed to know would
be told to you if you were invited
to the interest meeting/tea

The members would know you were
interested if you attended their
programs, etc.....


All of the information that was acquired was from searching the library for general information. The interenet was not available. Everything else depended on (the interests/SF's) conduct, community service, grades, and other activities/hobbies....


Many times I have been a silent monitor but I have never forgotten what I have learned from back then

D I S C R E T I O N

and

H U M I L I T Y

There is so much information available on the web but the best advice comes from the Ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc....

1)Keep up the grades, community
service

2)Get to know and support the
members at your school or in your
area

3)Keep your eyes and ears open for
the informational

4)BE READY..........IF YOU ARE
SELECTED, THEN ALL WILL BE
REVEALED TO YOU IN TIME

All of the advice given by the members has and continues to be greatly appreciated

THANK YOU! 99.9% of that is ON POINT!

*giving ms eastcoast sunshine a standing ovation*

http://www.plauder-smilies.de/nosmile/claps.gif

I just want to say that I am very grateful for all the help I have received from the members of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. I have gotten more information from you than from my own family who are members. they will not tell me anything except that I will have to see for myself like they did. So I want to say thanks for the information, and maybe, hopefully, I will be able to do the same.

I think that this is a good hint. If FAMILY is not giving out information, we need to re-evaluate wth is REALLY going on in here.

Sorors, let's go loop-de-loop, shall we?

Soror Ideal08....I'm with you! I mean come on...your own family won't tell you...but you come here and expect my sorors and me to spoon-feed it to you...
If you truly have that PINK 'N GREEN love (like my sorors and I do!), then you would neither find it robbery nor bothersome to do some WORK and RESEARCH in order to gain membership into my BELOVED ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA SORORITY, INC.!

[This message has been edited by AmerAKAs Most Wanted (edited June 13, 2001).]

Soror Ideal08, I agree with you completely!! I think in my previous post, I tried to convey that, but maybe I didn't phrase it correctly. I think that sorors on this forum are extremely generous with their time and energy in answering interests questions, etc. But this is not the norm. when on is researching Alpha Kappa Alpha.


------------------
"I am not yet the author of my life; I am still it's unenlightened protagonist"
---Unknown

Y'all ain't Loopin' wit out me!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif Huh? Email me you Sorors. I may need some strong brew...

What "insight" did you think you should have, all by yourself??? Like, when you're an AKA, you'll be this, that and the other?

See, Sorors, It's these chitty attitudes of these ME.COMs that get Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. Ladies not wanting to start THINKING MIP!!!! Why can't there be ivies!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif

I agree that one must work for what they want, and if it's God's will you will get it. For those of us, who are interested once you have graduated from college, it's harder to get information. My family as in previous posts, is not giving up the info either, and I agree that they shouldn't. I have taken all information that I've gotten, even if it's rough, in a respectful manner, because many of you had to go through the same thing. And I especially do not ask anyone, especially a complete stranger, anything. I would welcome any other direction that anyone could offer as well.

I totally agree! I usually don't respond to threads that aren't "light-hearted", but I felt compelled to respond to this one. I feel like the majority of the Sisterfriends that have responded feel: The Ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha, Sorority, Inc. DO NOT have to tell us ANYTHING! If they choose to give us any advice it is because they are being graciuos and generous--NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE OBLIGATED TO! I don't think many people understand this. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif Half of the time, you don't even have to ask a question--all you have to do is SEARCH and you will find the anwsers to most of your questions. I took the time to observe this board, as well as some of the other Greekchat boards, before I made my first post. And most of the posts I do make have nothing to do with Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.--I just respond to threads that are thought-provoking, interesting or fun. If anything I say is misconstrued then I am more than willing to explain myself or apologize, if necessary. Also, if I am ever out of line, I want to be corrected. Ladies, if you do make a mistake, then SIMPLY OFFRER YOUR DEEPEST AND SINCEREST APOLOGIES AND MOVE ON! It takes A REAL WOMAN to admit when she's wrong, and it takes an EVEN BIGGER WOMAN to apologize (and mean it) for it. We are all grown women that know how to conduct ourselves as ladies should. Sometimes you may not necessarily like the "tone" that a Memberfriend or Sisterfriend uses when addressing you, but sometimes "tough love" is necessary and I'm sure that they are only telling you this because they are trying to help you! These are women (the members) that have been through what you may or may not be given the chance to go through--THEY HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE NOW, AND THEY HAVE WHAT YOU DESIRE, so RESPECT THAT (think of it as if it were your boss or your grandmother--people you would never dare disrespect!). What would you do if the same situation occured with a member on your campus? I AM SURE you would not DARE get a "stank attitude" with them. I just do not understand how someone could get an attitude or disrespct a member of the organization that they desire to become a member of! That just makes me so angry! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif If you did not get the kind of answer you thought you would get to a question you asked, then MAYBE YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW! These ladies are kind enough to try and help you, but that does not mean that they are going to do the work for you! Just because the invention of the internet has allowed us to have things such as this useful forum does not mean that the work is going to be done for you. While you may be told some advice, TAKE THAT ADVICE OR INFORMATION THAT IS GIVEN AND GET UP OFF YOUR BEHIND AND DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH! What would you do if there was no such thing as the internet--if there was no "Greekchat"? Think about it. These are not just things that apply to your quest for membership into this prestigious sorority, but TO LIFE IN GENERAL. How will you SUCCEED in life if you cannot or refuse to do things for yourself? You won't achieve most things in life without working hard for them. And the things that you work hard for are the things that you cherish the most--that is the way you should feel about this esteemed sorority. Take the advice that is given by the members--keep up your grades, do some community service (not just so you can gain membership but because you want to "give back" to your community and have a positive affect on others), learn the meaning of HUMILITY AND DISCREETION and practice both of them, and work hard for what you desire, and IF IT IS IN GOD'S WILL and you are BLESSED ENOUGH TO BE CHOSEN for membership, then it will happen for you.

Lastly, I want to sincerely THANK ALL of the members of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. and the moderators of this forum esp., that extend a helping hand to Sisterfriends like myself. You help is TRULY APPRECIATED by serious Sisterfriends. Also, to those Sisterfriends that put themselves "out there" to help another Sisterfriend--thank you also. [b]NO ONE IS OBLIGATED TO HELP ANYONE[b/] so any help that anyoe gives is from the kindness of their heart, and that is really a beautiful thing.

Sorry for the long post but I just had to get all this out.

-The Usually Silent Observer

------------------
"If there is no struggle, there is no progress"--Frederick Douglass

[This message has been edited by Sugar_N_Spice (edited June 17, 2001).]

I have been thinking about this topic a lot since it was first posted... The verbalization of the question led me to pay even closer attention to my actions as a SisterFriend, and to my general approach to obtaining "information" on/about Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated...

Question(s)...
Do any of my fellow SFs out there actually take time to ENJOY what they've learned? To enjoy the search?
I find the whole research process to be a humbling and intriguing experience. What I mean is that I WANT to find out by myself, I don't want to ask about factual information. Anything you can find out by doing research should be found out on your own... It's fun... really. I enjoy sitting reading, wondering, and searching for more answers. There shouldn't be tooooo many questions us SFs should have for Members outside of "what's-your-personal-opinion?" questions & the occasional Advice-on-situations type questions.
And even then, if we use our common sense first off, we may not have a question after all... I love getting tenured-first-hand opinions/advice from Members, but I sho' hate it if I am going to deny myself the privilege and sense of accomplishment I get from getting to know Alpha Kappa Alpha via my own research.
I want help (as anyone who read my first post will readily understand http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif)… But I guess I don’t want the type of help I see a lot of my fellow SFs looking for… Instant Messages filled with cryptic codes, secret handshakes, and a Web-Certified Money-Back-If-You-Are-Not-Satisfied Membership Guarantee to Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated.
Ladies, there are soooooo many interesting facts out there. Let's challenge ourselves. You would be surprised about how much information there is on http://www.aka1908.com. Read and re-read those items, articles, excerpts from books, websites, etc. you've added to you research journal... If you ask yourself a few questions you can find out things you never knew you didn't know, or didn't know you could find out. (Was that ambiguous enough for everyone?) I was chatting with one of my guhlz on the phone t’day and she was kind of surprised that anyone would be “all specific” about getting to know the history of the surrounding chapters, in addition to the one at her school. Alpha Kappa Alpha Incorporated is composed of hundreds of chapters folks… Each one has it’s own history, many chapters have an above-average significance in the Sorority’s early developmental history…. Think about it. Are you utilizing all of your information to it’s fullest capacity? We have access, as SFs, to information regarding many, many, many items that more tenured Members of The Sorority did not have access to when they were SisterFriends. We have the Internet… but many of us use it, a lot of the time, to gripe, beg, and berate… arrrgh!
Then I have those SisterFriends who say to me “ ‘Vella, girl, you are just too serious, you don’t need to know all that… If I can’t ask, or a Member can’t tell me then I don’t need to know.” Now I am not saying that you should get caught up in finding out some information that is Administered on a NEED-TO-KNOW basis… but since we have soooo much time to IM, post, e-mail, whine, complain, and say “You are not meeting MY needs as a SisterFriend!!! Stop being mean to me, ***whiiiiine***” Then we can go and read some of this info we seek so urgently, and really want to know. I mean dang, if you don’t enjoy what you’re reading, and getting to know Her, and absolutely thirsting for knowledge about Ms. Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated… then dangit… well, I don’t know what to say.
The History of Alpha Kappa Alpha is soooo complex, and those things that are readily tangible to us SisterFriends, at our current station, should be examined and re-examined with vigor... There is sooo much to know. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif
I want to know everything I can find… So that if the time comes when I am able to serve Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated as Member, I will have a firm grasp on Her Essence… I know that I couldn’t, if the honor we granted me, feel comfortable as a Member if I hadn’t first exerted my every personal effort to understand and relish in the gravity of every realm Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated that I could lay my eyes/hands/ears to. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

Can anyone tell that I am excited? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

------------------
"No matter how worthy, admirable or fiercely desired the goal may be, it takes commitment and action to make it a reality."

I'm the type of soror, who will gladly offer my advice & support to SF's...but, this one chick, who was "interested" had a mutual friend call me on her behalf. My friend explained that this girl was "very interested" in joining my organization. However, she DID NOT want to join on the Graduate Chapter level http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif...in the meantime, she's a senior in college??? I'm like, what has she been doing ALL of this time??? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif Not to mention, she said that the girl had approached a soror who was VERY nasty to her...I'm thinking like, well, yeah..you wait until the LAST minute to express interest...what do you expect??? Needless to say, the chick has NEVER called me to speak with me directly...Triflin'!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif

I am extremely grateful for all the information I have received via the internet... But I have read post that were down right mean.. I think it is how some people say what they have to say and not what they say... I can take constructive criticism very well but I can not deal with disrespect from anyone..... I think everyone should respect others. Sisterfriends should do their research before asking questions... Most of the info they ask for can be found through searching the web site.......

God bless http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Why not http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif It is not like that now....I would certainly tell my mom.

Sf's need to take the time as Sf's to enjoy the pursuit of Alpha Kappa Alpha. Part of the "magic" for those who are suuccesful in achieving sisterhood in our sorority is the road there. Looking back as a sf it was fun uncovering new ideas, protocol and just observing and imagining what it would be like to be a member. If you get all the answers now handed to you, you miss out on one the more exciting times on your path. I mean I'm not gonna lie I remember being home alone all by myself and sometimes I would pass a mirror and throw the pinky up just to see. Those days were fun, enjoy facing the challenge it takes to become an Alpha Kappa Alpha woman.

[This message has been edited by Wonderful1908 (edited June 17, 2001).]

Yes!! I feel that...I am having fun... It's cool, I feel like I am on a treasure hunt sometimes. http://www.plauder-smilies.de/person/pirate2.gif
Wonderful1908 said it, that's exactly what I was trying to say! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif


------------------
"No matter how worthy, admirable or fiercely desired the goal may be, it takes commitment and action to make it a reality."

Soror, these SF's don't know if they will be "successful" at the moment. I'm sure a lot of them are pretty shook about the entire situation http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif

Soror I was making the comment in general, for all sf's. Some may make it, some may not, maybe none of them will make it. However imho, when you are in pursuit of something you want BADLY you have to believe you will make it. On the same page some of these sf's need to stop acting like they already made it!!!!

Indeed!!!!!!

*shaking my head, shaking my head, shaking my head*

*sigh*

All I'm going to say is, everything is not for everyone to know. I don't care if you tell your mother EVERYTHING. Some things need to be kept to yourself. You don't use discretion when it works for you. JUST USE IT.

And who told you it wasn't like that now??? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif