Re: Well...
 

Soror, I have met a man that I wanted to ask this question of. How do you do it w/out turning someone off that you might have wanted to start something with? Is it timing? Inflection? :) LOL

SC

Re: Re: OK, abaici...
 

Soror Abaici and Soror Choo-ChooAKA,
Maybe it's just me but I'd rather go ahead and do the "do" and continue to see if this is someone that I want to marry than to hurry up and marry b/c I can't hold out any longer. I know too many folk like that that "thought" that they'd found the one and were encouraged to hop the broom by the members of the congregation (and they were ahem, anxious as well) and the whole thing just didn't work out.

I guess that I'm going to have to just sample the goods if it gets to that point - hope that it won't though. :)

SC

Re: Re: Well...
 

Why would you want to start something with someone that you feel might be gay? Even if he answers 'no', he might not be ready to admit it to you or anyone else.

I say go with your gut.

Re: Re: Re: Well...
 

Soror I'm not saying that I think that he's gay. I can't go into details but if I thought that he was gay or bi, I wouldn't deal at all. I guess that that's the whole problem - none of us know for sure - we don't even know that they are telling the truth. Do you have any tips on how to ask this question w/out totally turning the man off? At some point, I'd probably want to run this question past most any man that I'm involved with, just to get any assurance that I can. We all know that the homothugs don't show any tell-tale "signs" - which is scary. Our best bet might be to simply ask.

SC

Well the homothug will unfortunately be the first one and the loudest one saying no.

I see what you're saying Soror, and you do have a good point. I guess it should just be a regular part of the getting to know you process. Don't ask too soon or he'll be offended, but when you are becoming acquainted (second date maybe) ask away. Even if you don't feel comfortable. I would do it flat out, but might caution the man beforehand that even though he might find the question offensive it's a standard one that I ask all men with whom I am becoming involved.

Or get him drunk and play "I never". In Vino Veritas!

Thanks Soror. Sounds good. I'll be following your advice. :)
SC

Yes, I would be blessed to have a man like that!