I don't know where you went to school but they didn't abolish family studies in the 1970's. I took it in grade 7 and 8 and I was in elementary school in 1990's.

Is it bad that I want my wife to have an advanced degree from a top 10 school and then to be a stay at home mom?

-Rudey

that may be true in canada, but not in the us. it was mandatory for us to take home ec classes in middle school and they were offered as electives in my high school.

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You bet I am. :p

33girl, crusher of dreams

I don't think that's true in Canada. Maybe within her school boared, but not in Toronto.

I took family studies (home ec) in grade 7 and 8. Many highschools with in the Toronto district school board offered family studies courses as elective also. They still do.

No, my school got rid of Family Studies (the school called it Household Arts) in the 1970s. Family Studies was in the provinical curriculum, but it didn't have to be taught. I went to BSS in Toronto.

thanks for letting me know!

Since their lifestyle is the one I grew up in, and chances are the one in which I will probably raise MY children, I certainly don't have a problem with their lifestyle. If you had read all of my posts and had any idea of what I spoke, you would have understood that. If you had read closer, you would have seen where I plan to be a stay-at-home parent for at least a few years. It seems to me that you have a problem with not reading my posts correctly.

I have no problem with women who choose not to work--after all, isn't that what feminism is all about, choices? These women are simply at the higher end of what middle class women have done since the beginning of time, and cannot be considered as a representative sample.

Yes, but you want to go back to work once the kids are a little older. I'm assuming that the ladies in the article do not. If a woman wants to give up her career, and especially if she's very well educated (say, two or three degrees), then her reaction is much more negative.

This thread reminds me of a Melanie Doane lyric:

"It's never what we want, it's always what we should".



As for home ec - it's an elective in HS across Ontario now (I don't know about grade 7&8 - I took home ec, but that's before the new curriculm came into effect)- if facilities exist. A lot of home education facilities have been revamped into more classrooms, which is a shame. I loved my grade 10 cooking class...

I have to say the article made me laugh. GOOD GRIEF, what has being married to a man earning $800.000.00 a year got to do with the general population?

So many great things posted. I think whatever suits your FAMILY
(not necessarily YOU-individually) is what's important. Being married and having children means you have to operate as a unit.
I do HIGHLY encourage mothers to stay home with their kids, they need you so much and the joy returned is priceless. BUT for many, MANY people, sacrifices must be made. These women did sound a little self centered...or maybe idealistic would be a better term. That's OK-you learn quickly once the baby comes.

I have always felt sorry for men who have the total earnings responsibility placed on their shoulders-unless that's what has been agreed upon. Things happen-illness, job loss, the general economy-then there are braces, dance lessons, college BLAH BLAH BLAH! From the tone of the interviews, I wonder if these women could step up to the plate and keep the family together if disaster hit.

James, I honestly believe the majority of people, men and women, desire marriage. (I DID NOT SAY EVERYONE!) Within THAT group, I would think MOST would desire a family. College comes at an age when young adults start sorting out these feelings. Finding or HOPING to find your mate at this time seems kind of natural to me.
When your friends start getting married, it's does hit you like a brick. It CAN make the drive to find that someone seem more urgent. It's scary to feel like you may never find the *right* one-especially when that's your heart's desire.

That old saying about the MRS degree holds a lot of truth, but it fails to say, there are men looking too.

Must not skip pages when reviewing topics...

I would agree with this (says the girl who met her hopeful spouse 2 days into university)... this guy actually believe the ONLY reason women went to university was for the MRS degree.

I think it's a wise idea to hope to meet your spouse at university - that way you know they're hopefully smart and responsible. Sounds better to me than picking up at a bar.

Yes, but I don't have to go back to work. Frankly? I don't have to work after graduate school--but I CHOOSE to. Munchkin knows she would go crazy not working, even if it was only part time at an architectural firm, for 18+ years, which is why Munchkin wants to go to work after Mini-Munchkins are born.

The other women I know with advanced degrees didn't get any static for ending their careers.

The reason I posted the article is because it made me laugh out loud, and it made me think. Pretty good record for the NYPost. :D

I'm sure there are people who don't know me very well who would think I went to college for the MRS (Southern, sorority gal, rather unemployable undergrad major), considering I've been with the boy for years. But, those who know me know I didn't. :)

I want to meet one of these men with an $800,000 salary so I can stay home and breed pretty babies. It would be nice, but I think that for most women it is a modern day fairy tale. Only a handful of people can live this lifestyle. As Munchkin wrote, Most of the women I know cannot afford to stay home without an income because New York and the suburbs are too expensive. They don't live luxurious lives either. They have mortgages and taxes and utilities to pay which are extremely expensive.

That's the message that YOUR all-girls school gave you. There are a lot of other ones that don't give this message, they give you the message to marry a nice boy from the all-boys school and make him babies.

Does this remind anyone else of Mona Lisa Smile?

Please do not compare Mona Lisa Smile to a late 20th century-early 21st century school. The Wellesley portrayed in the movie is not the Wellesley of 2004. If I were to produce a movie about my school in 1953-54, it too would likely resemble MLS. If you read the article, one girl said that she didn't want to be like her mother, having to work all day and having no time for her growing up. Maybe she just wants to be different, just like her mom wanted to be different from an earlier generation.

ETA: Even the most modern girls' high schools still slightly promote dating boys from the nearby boys' school(s)...At my school, for example, all theatrical productions were with the boys' school next door.

wellesley today does still give off that message, although not as much and it's more subtle. i was talking to a friend of a friend a few weeks ago about the movie and about that message. not many schools i know have a special bus that will take you to cambridge on friday and saturday nights so that way you may meet a nice harvard or mit man to marry....

Well, don't you think it'll be a little difficult to meet men your own age in an all women's college? You do need a "normal" social life!

i didn't say it wasn't difficult. however, this is the metro boston area, there are plenty of modes of transportation to go out and meet men. i think it's strange that the school pays for a bus that will bring them directly to the MIT fraternity houses.

Yeah, but why bother paying for something when the school's paying for you to go meet men? Sounds fun to me...

ETA: Today's message is more like this: You finish school, you get a job....the best jobs are jobs that aren't "traditionally female"....you marry a man who has a similar job and you make babies with him. However, you should also keep up with that job while you're raising that baby. If you quit, you're just not helping the advancement of women.

Am I the only one who wants to say "Icky dicky doo...who gives a crap?"

-Rudey
--Just wondering if I'm the only one.

ok, maybe you're not getting what i'm saying. i obviously wouldn't pay for something if someone else would pay. i said i've never seen it where and don't understand why a school WOULD pay for that. i would think there were better things the school could use those funds towards.

Mu_agd,

I wanted to go to a women's college as well, but my guidance councellor advised against it because she said that I needed to know how to mingle with boys (as if I (and the other girls I went to school with) didn't with the guys at the school next door). This is the best thing a girl at Wellesley can have, since she chose to attend a women's college. The school has the bus so that the girls have the chance to meet boys. They worry that the girls wouldn't do so if they have to pay to go to Cambridge (or wherever there are co-ed schools). Strange thing is this: The only women's college left in Canada is an affiliate with the University of Western Ontario, a co-ed school.

...especially in a city like Boston, where one out of four persons is a college student! :) You really don't need to go to MIT fraternity parties for a social life.

Of the other women's colleges I know (including the one I work at!), there is no funded socialization by the part of the college with the co-ed schools nearby. The alumnae of those schools never seemed to have a problem!

My college which is co-ed had a weekend bus to a local university. It was funded by the school so we could go to their library to do research. It had nothing to do with meeting men or women. :)

so true...

Guelph has a bus...

it's called the magic bus...it's transportation for students when the city transit stops running for the night...I'm sure you can meet guys on that, but that's not what it's for.

Really, if you're desperate to meet a guy, you'll find ways...schools don't need to be funding it.

No, that's not true. Some girls won't talk/meet guys unless the guys approach them, even if they desparately want it. I'm one of them. I had more guys approach me when I was in the play with the boys' school in OAC than in my first year at Queen's.

My neighbor went to Smith, another Seven Sisters college. She said the had teas at 4PM and socials with men from local colleges. This was not in the 1950s, but the late 1980s and early 1990s. Until Vassar went coed thirty years ago, they had socials with Yale. I think that it is a part of the tradition of the Seven Sisters.

See well that's your problem then...not the schools.


If someone is lacking the self confidence to approach a guy, then it doesn't matter if you're being bused to fraternity parties or the school is paying for you to have a social life, etc, etc. Someone can be bused to as many fraternity parties as they want but if they're going to stand in the corner and not talk to anyone, then that's they're own fault.

Girls need to meet guys. That's why we have events with guys' frats and why girls' dorms are often paired with guys' dorms. In first year, my rez had a cruise with the guys' and we also had a dance with the (co-ed) military college in town.

People need to meet people for a healthy social life. If you want the men to be brought to you, instead of being assertive, I can't feel too bad if you're alone.

I guess I'm just...cold. But I've always been in charge of my own social life.

I don't think you're cold. I agree with you

You can't be a wallflower and expect to have the man of your dreams magically appear in your arms.

cosign.

I wish someone had told me that when I was a teenager. It took me a while to figure that out. I was really shy.

Yeah, I wish someone had said that to me in highschool to.

It wasn't until I went to university that I started coming out of my shell.

I know of two women who live this type of lifestyle and they both have nannies for their kids. Nice work if you can get it in high style. . But before I get flamed I know most stay at home moms do not have the luxury of nannies and it's very hard work. But there's always going to be the whole stayathome moms vs. working outside of home moms debate. In the end you need to do what's best for you.
My art history professor and advisor told a story about what it was like for her being married, raising kids and working during the 1970's. Her nanny would take the kids to the local park to play everday. Nanny would hang out with the other stay at home moms while watching the kids. On her days off when my professor would take the kids to the same park all of the stay at home moms would give her the cold shoulder treatment. What did she do to deserve this? Nothing. There is just no excuse for that behavior. There was such a stigma back then and it's a shame to think that there are still some people who think that way .

I was the exact same person in my last year of high school,when I was in the show as I was in my first year of university. The show, from the auditions to set strike (the day after closing night) was about 4 1/2 months. Yet, guys approached me.

Different place...different guys.
What some guys like, others guys do not.

We had some "interesting" names for that shuttle, the two most common being "F*ck Truck" and "Spreadeagle Express" :D There was a shuttle during the day, too, since there is a cross-registration program between MIT and Wellesley (which, as I understand it, Wellesley students were encouraged to participate in... hmmm...)

An interesting statistic told me by a recent Wellesley alum: 40% of students are lesbians. Apparently they are there for a sort of MRS degree... ;)

I agree with Munchkin... it's not so much about girls meeting guys but about people meeting people. You can't just sit in your room all day - you have to come out of your shell - even if you're not necessarily looking for a romantic relationship.

OK, </hijack>