hee hee...the "Newman found this unacceptable" effect.

Is that a Seinfeld episode lol?

Actually it happened. This really cute girl actually
dated a Fraternity Brother of mine that was not quite in my league socially . .

Anyway, she ended up liking me and I was like . . . but well you dated _______ . . . . I mean how could I do that?

I am trying to imagine an analogy . . but it would be like dating your biological little brothers ex-gf . . the same one you used to pick on.

Yes, it is. Jerry was dating a girl and found out that not only did she date Newman, which was bad enough, but that Newman was the one who broke off the relationship, not her. Jerry couldn't deal after that.

Then there's my friend whose roommate stole her boyfriend, and then the boyfriend left the roomie and turned gay. But I guess that is getting off topic. :D

Okay, Emily says DON'T EVEN ASK. If you're protecting yourself, it should be all good.

I know how y'all are all into etiquette, so I decided to drop that wisdom on ya. ;)

And Jules' .02 is....

As long as the person is getting tested regularly (and you're in it for sex/fun) it doesn't matter. You can sleep with one person and get HIV, and you can bang the entire block and never get an STD. If they are healthy, and you are healthy, and you're doin it, great.

This number matters to me if I'm interested in the person as someone to date (which is basically all the time- I won't sleep w/someone I'm not dating, hence my odd-defying low number.) If they have had 30 partners and they're 21....ok then I'd want to know- were some girlfriends?? All? None?? This is either a guy who lost his virginity early, has been in quite a few relationships but hasn't found the right girl, is a male slut, or treats girls like shit. Or a combination of all of the above. My point is, there are reasons behind the numbers. Depending on what you want the partner for, you may or may not need to know.

I thought most people rather not know how many people you've slept with.

I am not sure what number would disturb me. I guess as long as he hasn't been out there competing with Wilt Chamberlain I can get over it.
One thing I know for sure... My number will always be less than his number. In my experience guys just can't seem to handle it when my number was greater than theirs. None ever said anything out right, but the guys with less experience than I became slightly insecure. And I can't stand that. I would rather tell a little white lie. ;)

I love meeting girls whos number is higher than mine. It kind of turns me on, all it means is I don't have to teach her anything. Thats one of the reasons why I'm turned on by chicks in their 30s.

That's hot.

We should bang *again* haha.

Blaine

I wouldn't want to be w/ someone who has slept with that many people! I am very old fashioned and view sex as something to be shared w/ a person you're in love with, so I'd want to be with a guy who thought the same thing.

my bf's sex history freaks me out a little. it was back when he was wild and crazy so i forgive him for it;) just as long as all of his current attention is on me, then it is alright.:D

If a girl or guy goes around advertising that "I'm X years old and I've slept with X number of people," then I'd stay away.

If a person takes all the necessary precautions to be as safe as possible, then number doesn't really matter to me and I prefer not to know. As with all my ex BFs and guys I seriously date, I prefer not to know and I expect the same treatment of me from them.

I'd rather not know his number. It doesn't really matter to me, as long as he is disease free, very committed to me, and treats me right.

LMAO what experience do you think I used to support the theory about whoring around and staying clean?? ;) :)

Oh wait, we were *dating*. :rolleyes:





*If the term 'dating' is used in a sickeningly platonic, involved in other relationships, WE NEVER DATED, he's my brother- kind of way

They had sex in the bathroom at Maggianos. I was in the next stall. :(

I have always heard if you want to know the true number of partners a person has had--- apply the following fomula...

for men the number they tell you divided by 4.
for woman the number they tell you multiplied by 4.

-wendi

some of us guys don't kiss and tell so beware . . . I'm a virgin still :)

"the" number
 

I've been honest about my number before to my friends- they've been surprised- i haven't told anyone i've dated- i was dating one guy for a year on and off- his number i know is higher than mine- but he knows i'm definatley in competition( we have some mutual friends) but otherwise it hasn't come up.... if a guy asked me that i was interested in.... i'd prob keep it under 10 though..... i'm in college- who else needs to know except me? (and i'm tested and eveyrthing is fine) i used to get intimidated by guys that had a higher number- the guy i lost my viriginity to told me that he slept with 6- so for some reason i felt like i had to "beat" him and then the next guy i dated- same thing... it was something psychological i guess- i had to feel equal- however- looking back on it- this was pretty stupid....:(

What are you talking about, crazy?? It was the three of us, on the table, rolling around in the eggplant parmigiana...until that hot waiter joined in.

Don't act all innocent, now.....

Well yeah, after I complained about getting left out in the bathroom. :p

Hypothetically, I wouldn't want to know "the number", just because if he were to ask me back what mine was, I'd feel pretty uncomfortable saying that mine was nil unless I was pretty certain that this guy is the one I'm interested in exploring a relationship (sexual or otherwise) with....but maybe that's just my "little miss prim & proper" side admitting this ;)

what would brian boitano do?
 

36 in 5 years (esp. being college years) is hardly promiscuous. roughly 7 guys a year. 1 per month and 3/4. besides, it's NO ONE ELSE'S BUSINESS, w/ the exception of her doctor. i think, if he's asking, he's probably insecure about it. so if someone asks you, lie. come up with some ridiculous formula:

[X]= number of sexual partners
[Y]= number you tell the person who's asking

the square root of [X] is equal to [Y].

or tell them it doesn't matter. it's who you're with that counts.

At least American society has evolved some, no longer is there such a stigma if a woman is no longer a virgin until her wedding night. I agree with previous posts, as long as your practicing safe sex, then that's your business. No one elses.

Re: what would brian boitano do?
 

I don't want to do the thing that Brian Boitano does. :p

the number definitely matters to me...and i don't really know why.

my current boyfriend isn't exactly sure...somewhere between 10-15.

it bugs me more that he doesn't know the exact number moreso than the number itself.

he knows my number.

Him not knowing just means he doesn't keep score. . some guys keep lists.

Which would you prefer? And 10-15 is REALLY mild lol.

I would think its weird if someone cant even keep track when its at 10-15...but thats just me.

It just means there are few people in the past you forget about. A memory from the past that isn't vibrant enough to think about every day, every week or even every month. Now and then you go, "oh yeah, i forgot about that guy...".

I have been seeing people for well over 10 years. My number is not all that high. But I couldn't tell you for sure what it was.

LIE LIE LIE................just say they are the third one........its funny, my ex husband was the first but he didnt believe me oh well.......

Man, I missed out on a good time at Maggiano's. :eek: :(

Kind of late, but I'll chime in. Theoretically, numbers shouldn't matter. As long as they were being safe. I respect those who have decided to wait or have few partners and I don't think poorly of those who are in the double--and maybe even triple--digits. It's up to you to figure out what you're comfortable with.

In women especially, numbers aren't always indicative of that person being a nymphomaniac or a slut. There could be many other factors working that we aren't privy to. She could have self-esteem issues, a bad "reaction" to a sexual assault, psychological isses or a host of any other personal issues that made her (or him) react differently in sexual situations.

I don't know my husband's number, nor does he know mine. He does know that some things happened while I was in college that affected me and how I related to guys where sex was concerned. He still loves me, and that's all I need.

I don't think a number matters. And it isn't something that I would even care to share with my husband (not that it is high because it isn't). He knows that I have been with more then just him but he doesn have a number nor will he. I also don't know his and really don't care to know either. What was done before we met is really of no concern of mine. As long and we were both playing safe I could care less. He was a couple of very serious relationships so I know it was happening but don't really want to know for sure.

I personally could give a crap about a guy's number, but I hesitate to give him mine. I'm ok with it, and it isn't particularly high at all, but there are a whole lot of people who feel that like 3+ is a bit much. So I prefer not to reveal such info until I know that he would be comfy handling the truth. I think that lying about it somehow makes me feel (not that everyone should feel like this, but this is how I feel) that it's something to be ashamed of, and it absolutely isn't. Most people have learned alot- sexually and emotionally- from their past experiences, and if they've been safe and have been tested recently, it's all good.

I read an article in Glamour where a guy said the best number for a girl was 7:

1 guy she lost her virginity to
2 commited relationships
2 one night stands
2 mistakes

Interesting huh?

Personally I think the following quote is very apt for many people and situations, I heard it on Queer as Folk: "Promiscuous is anyone who's having more sex than you"

Glamour is being REAL generous with that number. Among the guys that care most get a little wierded out by over 3 partners, even when they should intellectually know better i.e. the girl is older.

I am not saying that over 3 would be a deal breaker, there really aren't many deal breakers when a man has some tail in his line of sights, but somewhere he notices it.

We used to definitely characterize women differently by amounts of partnrs and it used to be the difference between the gals you dated and the gals you brought home to mom.

I agree with that quote by the way from queer as folk although I would sustitute the word lucky for promiscious. :)

The way I see it, is that you could have sex with one person and be unsafe and be a harbinger for STDs, or you could have 20 partners a year and be totally careful. So the number really doesn't matter as long as you're practicing safer sex.

Chiming in kinda late :) but I'm sort of with XOAlumXO on this one. I would be bothered by a very high number for a man, simply because I believe sex should be about more than physical intimacy, and I would only want to be with a man who felt the same way. It takes time to build a connection that's more than physical (I'll stop short of saying "love"), and a high number indicates that he wasn't willing to take that time with some or all of his previous partners (and/or that he had multiple partners at the same time). I would have to evaluate whether he was just sexually promiscuous a few years back and has come to share my viewpoint, or whether he's still just interested in one-night stands.

The issue of STD's doesn't concern me too much as long as he's tested ok.

And... all I could think of reading the beginning of this thread was "THIRTY-SEVEN!" ;)

I love slutty girls.

-Rudey

Um, if you get done with him, can I marry him?

So judgemental some people are! I don't think I'd care about a person having a high number if I knew them to be a good person. Everyone makes mistakes, or has periods in their life that they're not proud of, or hell just wants to ghave a good time! As long as they are not exposing me to a disease it is not my business. I would go on who I knew them to be, not a number. I haven't asked my distraction his number and I doubt that I ever will.

I plan on keeping him around for a while, but if I die early, he's all yours! ;)