There's one totally classic phrase that y'all will love (when I find the darn thing!). It was something about "Alpha Delta Pis double-date with their sorority sisters, and don't engage in heavy kissing at the Chapter House door; an Alpha Delta Pi never allows her date to paw at her in the back seats of cars."

We always teased that Pawing must take place in the front seat only! We also called it the "The Pawing Pledge Book".

As I said, it was outdated while I was in school. We had an abnormally large pledge class (the largest on campus!), and I guess they weren't prepared.

The closest I had to a Candlelight was at my wedding!

what did you do at your wedding??

We had our Friendship Circle, with "that man" & me in the center of it. After they sang "Remember" & "When You Love An Alpha Delta", one of the sisters held a candle so that I could blow it out. Too bad they weren't there for the divorce...

But that's another story! I think all but one ADPi wedding I've been to has had the Circle, done the same way. *thinking real hard*

So i'm thinking...what if we combine the two so those of us that didn't get a candle pass in college can still have one...

All the weddings I have gone to have had the circle as well. We usually sing "Remember" & "Little Little ADPI". I don't think I know the song or tune to "when you love an alpha deta" (anyone have the lyrics?). Then we sing a couple of the brides favorite rush/spirit songs.

So what if we do a candle pass (flowered/ribbioned candle and all) while the bride and groom stand in the middle? Then the two of them can blow it out together. Then of course, all the fun songs!! :)

Do you understand "walking the candle"? No one has answered that question.

Interestingly, I have the soundtrack from "Love, Actually" on, and if y'all saw the wedding scene, the choir's song ("All You Need Is Love") is on right now!

I would think your suggestion is wonderful, Sherra! That's basically what we did.

I'd be happy to explain "walking the candle" if I really knew what it meant. I would imagine that, instead of passing the candle from person to person, the candle is walked around the circle? At least, that's what I gathered that it meant.

I know!!! That will definitely be awesome!!!

Our chapter is known for having lots of girls get engaged as seniors...then again, lots of Vanderbilt women get engaged as seniors. Today I was talking to my mom about it and she asked, "Well what would make your chapter have a high ratio of engaged girls?". Guess ADPi women are just that irresistible...We pass the candle from person to person and the President announces what it is for, just as someone described. We do "Pass It On", "I Love the Pin", and "Going to the Chapel". The other day it came up and we wondered what you do for pregnancy-"Little ADPi"?
We had a candle pass for Pref ceremony this year that was really beautiful and we sang "Pass It On". There was a slight variation, though-we had the PNM's in front of the actives, and whoever was speaking lit their candle first. Everyone had a candle, and the active next to them lit their candle, then they lit their PNM's, then the next active's, and so on. I think much of our new Pref was borrowed from another chapter, but I don't know which. It was awesome-mingled with speaking parts, we sang "White Shining Stars" as the girls came in, "Pass It On", and then a small group of us, me included, sang "Have a Little Faith in Me", and we ended with "Little ADPi" (I plan to have a girl who can sing the melody line so that I can harmonize, or teach my honorary ADPi mom).

As it was said earlier, I was to my understanding during college that you didnt' do candle passes for pregnancies. That was something that wasn't dicussed and the sister suddenly went "honorary alum."

Since there are so many sisters waiting to get married until after graduation, I don't see a problem with doing one in an alum group to honor pregnancy, but i personally dont feel it should be done in a collegiate chapter.

Some of that sounds similar to what my chapter does (or at least used to do when I was active) for preference parties. We had the speaking parts, the candle *lighting* (instead of passing the candle, we lit the candles in the circle as you described) and sang different songs, as well as reciting (and singing) the creed. I always loved preference night....why do you think I went ADPi? :)

Why do you think we all went ADPi! Pref is one of my favorite nights. I only wish it was practiced more so that the sisters felt more comfortable with it and could be more relaxed and geniune.

We sing pass it on the WHOLE TIME and we do them for friendship (1 time around) drops/promise ring(2 times around)
engaged (3 times) pregnant (4 times)

I hope I get to have one someday....they are my favorite!!

I guess I'm really old school...Does the pregnancy pass at the collegiate level bother anyone else?

No, it bothers me, too. Candlelights are supposed to be for a joyous occasion, and I don't consider an unplanned pregnancy while someone's unmarried as particularly joyous. I can remember talking about this with another alumna, and she shrugged, "Look at it this way - at least she didn't have an abortion." So, I've tried to look at it that way.

When we had a candle pass for a sister who was pregnant she was married so it wasn't like it was unplanned. Also i think sometimes alum that remain in the area that are advisors etc could do a candle pass if they were having a baby

Was the married sister an active or an alum? Our married sisters were made honorary alums after the wedding.

I can understand alums doing pregnancy passes. In fact, i hope i will get the chance to do one. But pregnancy in the chapter. I guess i'll just have to look at it the same way...that atleast the baby is not being aborted. I guess it was just taboo in our area. The prego sisters were made honorary alums the minute they found out there were pregnant. Not even a chance to explain to other sisters at a meeting or anything.

That's crazy. I feel I can comment on this because there were two sisters in the chapter during my time that became pregnant. The first one told the chapter as a whole and let them know that should would be going alum (by choice not by force). The second one became pregnant in her final semester as an ADPi. She didn't tell everyone right away, but eventaully told the entire chapter. She stayed the entire semester and became a Pi member with the other seniors. Neither of them were married- but they were never treated any differently for this. We were there for them in their time of need. Maybe times have changed....the first pregnancy was in 1998 and the second was in 2001.

Maybe it just seemed more strict at our chapter, being in the bible belt. We had one sister become pregnant while i was there and she did go alum, but without any notice to the chapter. That was in 1999. She was still loved and supported, just given less of an active role in the chapter. She was welcomed with wide arms by the alums as well.

In my chapter I have seen one women become pregnant while still an undergrad. She went alum right away. I think with my chapter it is less trying to say that you shouldn't get pregnant as an undergrad and unmarried, but more that she needs to be able to focus her time on what is important. She would not have time to be in school, active in the chapter, and raise a baby all on her own. In the end as a chapter we were very welcoming to help her out where we could (babysitting and what not), but the factor was that she needed to focus her time elsewhere.

Times DO change, and sometimes, it's hard for alumnae to realize that. Please try to remember that when y'all are dealing with alumnae who love you, but may not completely understand the necessity of a pierced eyebrow or such!

Y'all don't realize how many times I read some things posted on GreekChat, or have seen them in chapter, and have been absolutely dumbfounded!! I usually chalk it up to old age (!) and move on, smiling quietly...

We had a candlelight shortly after our last Pref party during Formal Recruitment this past fall. To my shock and surprise the candle kept going round and round. 4 times to be exact. One our girls was pregnant! It was such a bittersweet candlelight. The girl who was pregnant went inactive, but still plays a huge roll in our chapter. She's been helping us tons with various things! She's due April 11 and I can't wait! She's having a little legacy!!

-Linds
BB

I LOVE hearing what ADPiAkron and nauadpi have to say- We really do Live For Each Other!

Just think how many different situations in life we get into that we may not necessarily plan- that's when you need sisters the most!

sorry to crash ladies. my chapter did a really sweet thing for all the graduating sisters. the whole chapter would sit in a circle and pass the candle. when a sister had the candle, she talked about memories of the particular sister graduating and what she was going to miss about them. it was really sweet.

I'm really sad now! I want my candle passing! I got engaged after graduating, and unfortunately don't live anywhere near an Alum Association. My chapter is still here, but as much as I have tried to be involved, I really don't have lots of time so I don't know the girls well enough to ask for a candle passing. Plus the news is old hat by now, so it wouldn't surprise anyone since I'm getting married in a month and a half.

Sorry for babbling. What I really wanted to say is that I just think its so cool that alums still get a chance to have candle passings.... :)

As generic as this may sound, I think it's every sorority girl's dream to get a candle pass for being pinned or for engagement.

I know I want one, but being that next semester is my last, I don't see that happening :p

In the house women would tell the house mother she needed to have a candle lighting and after dinner Mom A would start the candlelightings. (Kept it a bit more of a secret this way!)

We do 1st time around for friendship/lavelier, 2nd time for pin/promise ring and 3rd for engagement ring. I have seen a collegiate candlelighting that was 4 rounds. The member got married over Spring Break our senior year. It was very weird and kind of uncomfortable.

I do think alumnae should celebrate with candlelightings -- including babies -- however, it just doesn't seem appropriate for collegians.

We sang lots of songs, but this one I like best for candlelightings:

A candle shines brightly for someone tonight
A candle shines brightly for one ADPi
Who is she who has said I love only you
We're Alphas Deltas joined tonight by this bright light.