To everyone,

On extra curriculars generally,

What if your son is not athletically inclined or simply does not have an interest in or enjoy sports. How would you deal with that? And, out side of sports what would be an acceptable extra curricular? Would you force them to do a sport? For how long? At one point would they be allowed to pursue something they were interested in? Would you choose objecting over their choice of activity over having a relationship with your child?

(I was just wondering because I have seen damage done to children and families when a son does not fit the "boy" mold their parents dictate- and I am not talking about sexuality, just interests not deemed masculine enough. These are straight kids.)

BYW, I asked Mr. Kimmie1913 (who has a 7 year old son) about some of this. He did not have a problem with the flute. He said to him, msuic is music and he never thought of instruments as having firm gender roles. He then said "now figure skating or ballet is something different..." He definitely was not feeling the easy bake oven. He could, however, see that this might not be such a strange request in a family where mom and dad share the cooking so the chold sees dad in the kitchen at the stove and are not assigning a gender role to it that is exclusively femaile. Not feeling the cheerleading so much either.

He did say he feels that people try too hard to make a correlation between what you do and what your sexual preference witll be. But as time goes on we are seeing more and more "manly men" who are gay, despite football and strong gender roles etc.

Ok, I am REALLY liberal ...but HECK NAW!!!!
I draw the line at cheerleading!!

***and this is why this is up to each individual parent***

...setting aside the alleged crack, I'd hide every football I could find and PRAY that the little fella does make Alpha someday.


To the original point of letting my son be a cheerleader? No. Hell no. No way. Nada, Un-uh, It ain't happening.

As a divorced dad of two daughters, I can't do hair either....but then that's what baseball caps and near-by babysitters who will hook me up if need be, are for :cool:

.

Quote:

Would you let your son be a cheerleader!?!?!?

Okay, ya'll might trip on this one...BUT WE HAVE TWO BRUHZ IN DAYTONA WHO ARE MALE CHEERLEADERS.....AND THEY SOME OWT AZZ BRUHZ!! It may sound funny, but they cool as hell with me....and the ladies love them. *Just when you thought the chicks were only diggin' the football players....*

And please....don't act like no one has ever seen a male cheerleader.....hell, to palm some booty, I'd be a base anyday!:D LOL, just kidding...but seriously, once again...I think people have the misconception that a man will lose his sexual identity if he participates in these types of activities - it's not so.....

I would let my son be a cheerleader. I cheered in high school and I know that the boys on our squad were the furthest from gay or feminine there were. Most of them were football players looking for a good way to stay in shape during their off season. Please believe, cheerleading will have your body looking gooood. That was the only time in my life that I had a flat stomach.



I found the last sentence of this post interesting. While I completely understand where you are coming from, I totally disagree. There are certain situations where children can be harassed and bullied about things totally out of their control, like their race or appearance. I think it is more important to teach children to be good people and to ignore what there peers may say. If my child were no longer safe in school because of his involvement in a particular activity, I would be more inclined to pull him out of that school than that club or team.

My son is a football player. A manly endeavor. If he were to ever cheerlead, he would have to change his last name. My son doesn't wear an earring, bracelet, necklace, braided hair or ring or anything that would look good on his girlfriend. My son, as any good jock does, laughs at the band members. The band leader is as sweet as taffy, twistin' and twirlin'. The only twistin' my son does is on the way to the endzone. And then like a true Black male athlete, he gets with the white girls after the game, lol Raising a male child should be like diet Coke.........SUGAR FREE.






:D

Ummm...I'm sure they exist but I've NEVER had a base that looked like you ;)

Hey, that's what's up! Lemme know what you're doin' on Saturday....we can go over some of those palm to the backside routines. I PROMISE NOT TO LOOK UP! :D *Now, believe that if you want to...*

Umm, WOW!

Once again, it's about what parent's want for their children. Personally, I'd rather have a son who played in the band, over one with a white girlfriend. I'm not necessarily against interracial dating, it would just hurt his my feelings a little.

If you know anything about my posts, you would know that I was being facetious, but if that were not apparent enough....I WAS JOKING :D (that is what the "lol" was signifying) I don't think that I would boast about something like that. Just sarcasm.

:mad: :rolleyes: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO:mad: :rolleyes:

You bout to catch hell on that one BRUH!!!! Let the hell fire begin!!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

*AceDawg quickly walks through the forum...passes out hella church fans*

LOL - It's okay Bruh...hell, I knew you were joking...I got your back! But if dem' Minolo Blahniks start flyin'...man, I don't know if I could catch a heel in da neck! LOL.....

LMAO @ church fans.

Yeah he mighta been joking but umm err umm. . .

OK...that's exactly what a male friend of mine said at a game in undergrad. He was like "Hmmmmm...booty in my hand. That's not a bad gig right there!!"

Quote:

..I think people have the misconception that a man will lose his sexual identity if he participates in these types of activities - it's not so.....

I *heart* acedawg00-02 :D

LOL @ catching a heel in da neck!!!! :D :D

Now you know, Black women don't take kindly to those types of jokes! LOL

I was joking, you know,,,Kobe....O.J. 75% of Black athletes. Sheesh. I know to stay off the white girl jokes. Dammm, I guess its like calling a Bruh a Sigma or something.

ACEDAWG.... its your neo duty to take one for the Team, lol

Anyway, when Doggy was a pup, his mother warned him about potential prom dates. Her words of wisdom were..."If she kain't use yo comb, don't bring that heffa home!. There was no rebuttal. Mom could make life hell for the devil.

Doggy, Doggy, Doggy
 

You should have put the lol in capital letters and added the big grin emoticon for safe measure. LOL

LMAO......I just got my new motto for Lil Tez

Yes I would let my son play flute, and I'm not saying this because I play the flute. I really admire and respect some male flute players. But to get my admiration you have to be one heck of a player. A little known fact for some... the flute happens to be one of the harder instruments to play so any guy that sticks with it is a committed person.

Great answer acedawg00-02. Embrace your young man who chooses to express himself through the arts. By telling him NO you only stifle his creativity, and as a person who spends a great deal on child development - that can be VERY BAD for his developmental progress.

In addition, if your issue is playing the flute is too "girly" then I must let you know - if homosexuality is the route that your son will take - NOTHING can stop that. I've experienced it first hand, and trust me when I say NOTHING can be done to prevent it.

Think of it like this. Is the flute the only extra curricular activity your son is going to be involved in? I know many football players from high school and college that played the violin, and other "non-masucline" instruments, as well as those that took ballet, and tap. It's only one aspect of what they do. It shouldn't define who they are.

Ok, I kind of thought of this thread when I read a response in the new interracial dating thread in chit chat. I have a question.

For those who want their future or current son to date only black women...would you rather have him date only black women and treat them like crap (if really he isn't into black women) because you want him to stick to his own or have him date anyone he wishes and treat the woman with respect?

If he is MY son, that's not even a concern. He will treat ALL people, not just Black women with respect. Just because I don't want my son/daughter to marry a non-black person (well, really white) doesn't mean I want him/her to hate white people.

I agree. I hope Lil Tez keeps his "current taste" he likes pretty, smart black girls". He said Mommy, I don't want a ghetto girlfriend when I grow up I want my girlfriends to be just like you:D

LOL @ Lil Tez. You must be doing a wonderful job Momma Leading Lady. :) :)

I think we're talking about two entirely different subjects. :confused: :o

Oh L THE FREAK NO!!

Get a pedicure????
 

I wasn't sure where to post this until I saw this thread....

I had one of those "this country is headed for damnation and I'm taking my passport and going back to the islands" moment today...

I'm in the nail salon today getting a pedicure (trying to avoid the weekend rush)...& it was unexpectedly crowded(forgot all the HS graduations are tomorrow)...pull out my book and await my turn.

Two women walk in with a young boy & I hear one say-"there is a long wait & I'm tired lets just come tomorrow"...and we all assumed she was talking to her female adult companion until the little boy started carrying on..."No, mummy said I could get my feet done today"

-->the first woman than tells the other..."I told his mother I would pick him up from school and bring him here for her
(so this wasn't his first time) "
-->"friend" starts breaking ..."what kind of foolishness is this?"
-->to the boy she says, "Your mother can't wash your feet?"
-->Little boy - "Its not the same..."

They sit down and I think are aware that everyone is looking at them. So the woman that brought him tries to bribe him with McDonalds & Ice Cream & this boy plops his feet up on her lap and says "NO, I NEED my feet massaged???"

I must repeat-this boy child was no more than 5 or 6.

The friend then said I'm not asking him, I'll go buy the stuff and the beauty supply store and do it-lets go. The friend I think embarassed them so bad they finally left...afterwhich everyone just shook their heads.

If I could wring his mothers neck I would-why in hayle is a little boy being raised so foolish that he is throwing tantrums about getting a pedicure????

Its bad enough with little girls (its one thing to let them polish their nails...but what does a little girl need with a pedicure?)...but for a boy?-absolute nonsense! He shouldn't even know what a pedicure is beyond his parents rubbing his ashy feet after his nightly bath or morning shower.

A grown man getting a pedicure/manicure to keep his cuticles and claws in check is fine (no need for polish)...a 5/6 year old boy...not cute AT ALL :mad: :eek: :eek: !

Going to mail renewal forms for passport today...

I got my first pedicure when I was 24 11/12 :p but this is a KID getting a PEDICURE!!!!???? WTF?!!?!? I mean come on. Like you said, rub his feet at home with some lotion.

At my old shop in Ohio, one of the mailmen would come get a pedicure but hell he was a mailman walking everyday.

This was an interesting thread!
 

Well, I stopped at the nail salon after work last year. Lo and behold one of my students was in there with his mom. He was getting a manicure and pedicure. The Jr. Prom was that night and he wanted to go. His mom let him and we sat there and chatting. He was smiling and so was she. I was thinking,"Lawd Jesus!"

An aside, the boy is very effeminate.

sorry i love the flute and all but i would not let my son play it...maybe i'm narrow minded but i know how cruel people are and how cruel they can be and i know how many laughs piccolo boy get and how people laugh cuz boys play the clarinet. my son could not play the flute, piccolo or the clarinet. he could not be a cheerleader (well maybe) and he could not play with dolls. unless it's an action figure ...(ha ha)

had to come back cuz i just read the little boy with the ped. story...OMG are you serious...she should be shot forreal. now a man i can see him gettin his toes done so he won't claw me up and have my damn legs bleeding in the bed but he don't need no polish (cept for clear) but a lil boy talkin bout gettin his feet massaged??? he'd get his ass massaged in my house with a nice belt actin out like that. the momma need to be beat real good for that one...and the friend who agreed to take him.

Oh you just hush! :p

Why am I laughing so hard???:D

This was an interesting thread.. I can't comment much b/c I wasn't athletically gifted nor musically gifted(aside from my singing ability)...I was pure dee lazy.... I turned out OK

You can sang (yes, sang...not sing)?? *le swoon*

I would let my son play the flute or cheer. I know that when my mom pushed me to do things I pulled away from them more. I think both activities require a certain amount of dedication and practice so if my son wants to then so be it.