Go in knowing that no matter how good the relationship, and what you have been through together, the first year will try everything you ever thought about. The first year of marriage is not the romantic image that the movies make it out to be. Even if you lived like you were married before (except for the possible name change and piece of paper) things change. Be prepared for it. The best peice of advice I have ever been given is that "the first year is always the hardest". So far the giver was right and 6 years later I still give that advice to anyone who asks.

You can always keep your credit histories separate, even after you marry. If I get married, I'm going to keep my credit record separate from Mr. Munch's. Not because our respective records are bad, but just because I want to have my own credit. The fact that I'm keeping my last name should make that easier. :)

What about social class? I can't marry anyone that can't give me a herd of cattle for a dowry.

-Rudey
--No joke and I don't mean thin dying Ethiopian kinda cattle. OK. Cool.

Wow, AGDee, I'm sorry...that must've been a huge shocker. Personally, that's the reason I'm not engaged/married to my ex right now...sometimes people really do say things to make you stay with them even though they have no intention of following through. I'm just glad I figured it out before I gave up everything I had and moved out of the country with him...

I definitely agree that people should live on their own and have a good idea of their likes/dislikes/preferences/beliefs/who they are as a person. I also agree in talking about the future, money, children, etc...

For sure I am on the same page as Delt Alum though - he had better understand what kind of a commitment marriage is when he marries me (whoever he may be). Divorce will not be an option.

I met a women once on the day of her 50th wedding anniversary and everyone was asking her how they made it work and how they stayed in love the whole time. She said something like "Are you kidding? We weren't in love the whole time. We went days, weeks, even months and years not being "in love" sometimes... but we did always love each other. We stuck through the bad times and the good times would always come back." I loved that... just the idea that it's not always candlelight and roses and romance -sometimes there are hard times, but that person is always your best friend and you never leave them and eventually you have that romance again.

Nuff Said. So true. I think we have a lot of divorces today because people aren't willing to put in the hard work and some folks are just generally selfish.

This again? Eiii!!!
 

What's the one thing everyone needs to do before they are married? Learn who they are.


That is so untrue. Commitment is a frame of mind. It is not where you live or a piece of paper or a ceremony. Marriage doesn't make you commited - being commited makes you commited.

For my thoughts on living together see this:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...286#post543286

Re: This again? Eiii!!!
 

Main Entry: com·mit·ment
Pronunciation: k&-'mit-m&nt
Function: noun
Date: 1621
1 a : an act of committing to a charge or trust: as (1) : a consignment to a penal or mental institution (2) : an act of referring a matter to a legislative committee b : MITTIMUS
2 a : an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; especially : an engagement to assume a financial obligation at a future date b : something pledged c : the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled <a commitment to a cause>

But it can be a place you live, a piece of paper or a ceremony. These things are affirmations that you are committed to do something. Just as in baptism, it is your parent's pledge (or committment) to bring you up in Christ. Just thought I'd point that out.

But I do agree...committment is committment. For some words and paper don't mean SH*T!

Re: Re: This again? Eiii!!!
 

:) Touché! I guess I should have looked that up. :)

Umm... I think that's more of the point I meant to bring up...

Yeah that is a great idea until you buy something jointly like a house or car....In some states your credit is automatically merged when you marry anyway, so I guess there is no real way to get around it.

Um, no. You're wrong about this one. I worked in credit counseling for a few years, and there IS a way around it. In fact, there are multiple ways around having credit merged at marriage--regardless of what state you live in. :) But, I understand where you're coming from. I had to do a goodly bit of research before I knew that it was an option.