Call me evil like that, but that's how I am. I like knowing that I made someone feel bad, especially if I know they deserved it.

Ain't no shame.

Ditto. :p

In actuality I think it's just their competitive nature coming out. They're jealous that these girls have the guts to go against the social norm and they themselves don't . . . so in order to get back at the girl they call her a "slut."

Heh..no..I won't be apologizing to her that's for sure :) Oh, we've been in classes for 4 weeks. ;)
Yes..it was a part of my business..if it concerns one of my girls it concerns me. I mean seriously, if some girl was spreading rumors (which this is a VERY small campus) that she slept w/your best friend's boyfriend in which he is also one of your best friends, wouldn't that tick you off also? And on top of that, left her nasty thongs in your boyfriend's apt's bathroom you wouldn't be a little upset? C'mon now....
I used to be very timid and give everyone upteen chances, that didn't go anywhere.
As my older sis once told me, "You've gotta be a b*tch at times"

OTW- Hell yeah.

Would I handle it? Yes. Would I make her cry or take pride in it if I did? No. Would I try to figure out why this girl thought this was the only way she could get attention? Yes. I think that it is best to handle things with as much grace and class as possible, and that doesn't include intentionally being a bitch sometimes. I just don't believe that a lady has to be a bitch at all.

I used to go to a VERY small campus as well. I had a roommate who was extremely jealous because I had more friends than she did, the place in the show choir that she wanted, etc etc. She told the guy I was dating and several other people that I had stayed with a guy a couple of months before and I was pregnant. (I was a virgin at the time, and there was no guy.) I was brought before the conduct board because the story reached administration. Did I take care of those rumors? You bet. Are we still on good terms? We're not the best of friends, but yes.

Yes, I would've been upset if I had been in your situation, but I hope I'd have handled it with more class and respect than to brag to people that made a freshman girl cry.

One of my favorite lines on, for all things a Christmas CD by Jewel.

"In the end, only kindness matters."

You know, I've been reading posts by Kayla for quite some time and I've never had reason, nor do I now, to think she's a bitch. So I think she did what she did because she felt it was the best way to handle the situation. Was she wrong to feel good about making the girl cry? That's not for me to judge, but I can personally attest that if I get pi$$ed off enough at someone I've been known to be happy that I managed to upset them.

Besides, maybe this is the wake up call the girl needs before she trashes her reputation beyond repair.

It's heartwarming to see that romance isn't dead.

Pray for her.

No wait, is she busy this weekend, pray that cheap floozies come to RUgreek this weekend.

Why can't the guys (or the offended parties for whom this is actually their business) sort it out themselves? I've had friends in all sorts of trouble--one domestic violence thing comes to mind--that you just have to sit back and let them live their own lives.

I agree with you completely That's why "for" is in itallics. What I find admirable is her care for her friends, however it was handled.

When people get to you where you've just had enough....sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do....I think TKE just had to snap, it might not be right, but if the girl started crying because she was being confronted about her actions, I think it might have done her more good than bad...she might realize that others see her the same way.....I see therapy in the near future.....

I don't know. I feel bad for girls like this one. She sleeps around and gets a bad reputation before mid term exams. She seems young and unaware that her actions have consequences. It's kind of pathetic. I knew a few women who also slept around in college, but were smart enough to keep it private. They thought that they were having fun at the time, but they soon regretted it.

This is a tough one, especially when it comes to rumours and characterizations.

You can say something about someone that is not true or twised, it will be believed most of the time, or at least taken at face value.

And it can effect a person's status in a peer group or organization.

This is how the game is usually played:

Cream has something against KillarneyRose (KR) for whatever reason so starts making disparaging comments about KR or making some stuff up. First she tells her friends, after making them promise not to say anything to KR.

At first KR doesn't know anything is going on, but it spreads among circles of people and eventually gets back to her. But the people that tell her make her promise not to say THEY said anything lol. :rolleyes:

The damage is on going because people that take Cream at her word are harshly judging KR, and those include people that aren't really Cream's friends, just people that have heard rumours.

The longer it goes on, the more people that won't like KR, most won't even know why.

And KR is now on the defensive with public opinion mostly against her. Sometimes she only finds out when its too late to do anythin but find a new group to belong to.

Sounds pretty elementary school but I have seen it in the Chapter House, School, and workplace all the time.

Has anyone else seen it? I have definitely seen it in small degrees on GC. GC being a microcosm.

Going along with my last rambling post, confrontation can be the solution to a lot.

If she started the rumours it might be best to take a forceful approach.

If she was just part of the rumour than a softer approach is better lol.

Don't worry about her crying. You didn't make her cry, she cried because that is how she responds to being confronted.

I would like to note that most of us do not confront or take confrontation well.

Some people are combative and it takes very litle to push a button so to speak.

Other people will let so much slide that when they finally do let it out, its not very pretty.

I don't have much advice for combative people, exept please stay away. :)

But for the people that should be a little more assertive try doing it in small things. Ask for extras at restaraunts. That small thing you let go because it doesn't make you angry? Don't let it go, but don't get angry.

You can simulate anger, but don't have to feel it.

When you master doing it, you wll find it very easy to assert your foot into someone's ass . . . to the appropriate depth.

I am personally under the feeling that if these men were in that situation why did they let it go so far and why arent you ripping their asses. I will never condone what that "lady" did but it is their right to do it. By the way why was her underwear in your boyfriends bathroom. I know someimtes you have to rip some ass but you have to remember in the greater view of this all that what she did is PR especally with rush you dont want to be known as the people who have others fight your battles. I really do got much love for ladies who support the fine organization that Tau Kappa Epsilon is and what you do Kayla to help. I just believe these "men" should have either dealt with the actions themselves or kept their dick in their pants. Remember it takes ones actions to wreck others

I agree, I think both should be held equally responsible for their trashy actions. However, I think some women don't expect as much out of men. (No offense men, but it's true) A lot of women expect men to act like this, but not other women.

I live my life trying to hold all accountable for their actions men, women, housepets, who or whatever

On that note...
 

There is a difference between one's character vs. reputation...

I agree with James: The young lady chose to cry...

However, it is unwise to get involved in other folks relationships... Tables can be turned very quickly... It is not anyone's job to explain to this teenager the consequences of her actions except her parents, her parole officer and/or the test of time...

Documentation of one's actions would have probably been better suited... Stands up better in court...

Besides, at the course this girl was going, she was riding her body into the ground, heading for diaster or just plain flunking out of school. Whether it was deceit or real in her mind, either way, that is what student psychosocial health services is for...

To make matters worse, her actions eventually would have reflected on her grades...

Kayla, I've done some thinking and rereading of my posts on this thread, and I want to apologize for how harsh I have sounded. I don't agree with the way that you handled the situation, but I am sorry for coming down on you so harshly about it. I counsel teenage girls like this girl every day, and I was seeing their faces when I posted my comments. However things turn out in this situation, at least you did what you felt you had to do.

I've got to agree with the majority on this one.

It was not your place to do that. Let alone get off on doing it.

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Embarassing someone isn't going to change their ways. Taking them aside in a friendly manner and explaining to them logical and polite reasons why their behavior is offensive will work a lot better.

As for the discussion of the gender double standard.

Men see each other as friendly stepping stones to getting laid. You scratch my back, I scratch yours.

Women see each other as fierce competition. Watch your back or I'll scratch your eyes out.


My take on the whole situation:


Sometimes...you just have to let the little stuff slide by and let the idiots be idiots and make examples of themselves. Sometimes defending your pride or the pride of your friends isn't something to be proud of at all. Real pride is being able to walk away from a situation without having to resort to physical or verbal violence.