Thank YOu
 

I was not "raised in the streets" so I have no street credibility.

I believe some good girls date thugs, so they can have a man who is "respected".

The biggest male influence in my life has been my father, so I have found characterics in him that I would like in a mate and trust me he does not have ounce of thug in him. But through his career, community service, and his service to our church, people respect him. So, I know our AA males can find respect through other means some just may not know how.

lol.. i see nobody wants to touch this..
 

*NOW LADIES .. FOR THE "QUES"tion of the day*

Why is it that the sorry, drug dealing, loser, wannabe thug can get a strong woman to stand by his side and put up with his garbage/cheating/and leaching ways, but the ambitious entrepreneur with aspirations of going to law school and starting his own corporation who is working two/three jobs but doesn't have the fly whip on spinnin' 20's cause he's investing in his future trying to better himself can't find a woman to even go get a cup of coffee with? Or better yet, have a Sister stand by his side while he's building his lagacy?

Every situation is different with every relationship pair. Love makes us hang in there with some partners a lil' longer than we should.

Re: lol.. i see nobody wants to touch this..
 

You beat me to the punch. I can't wait to hear a response to this one.

Re: lol.. i see nobody wants to touch this..
 

I would answer but I really don't know. I have NEVER been interested even remotely in that type of man.

That said, just beause a brotha sounds real good on paper and is doing all the right things doesn't mean that there will be a spark. For ME there has to be a challenge on the mental level. He has to get my humour, dish it out as well as take it, and be able to KEEP UP!

A lot of the brothas I meet who are lovely, upright respectful young men are dead boring and waaaaay too satisfied with themselves. Many of them can ONLY talk about the work they do, as if they think that's the only thing going on in their lives that could POSSIBLY interest me. I sincerely hope for their sake that it's not! I mean be proud of your accomplishments, but have a sense of humor about it all too- taking yourself TOO seriously is a real turn off for me.

And that's not even touching the physical level.

Re: lol.. i see nobody wants to touch this..
 

You pose an interesting question. Not all women are looking for a man driving on spinners. Me personally, I can't understand why someone would invest so much money on wheels when they live in a box, but that's another thread:D To your point, it seems as if we, educated men and women, are looking for the same thing. I guess it's a matter of getting like minded individuals together. I'm sure you have run across some women who can only see what's in front of them instead of looking for a person who may not have the "bling bling" now, but is working towards that end. Keep the faith and good luck with building your legacy.
;)

OK
2 things we are doing wrong.

1. NEVER EVER COMPARE THESE HOLLYWOOD RELATIONSHIPS TO REAL LIFE. These cats are special

2. I think what every woman in here is stating is they want a strong man.

Here is my question when did being a Thug become associated with being a strong man? A lot of successful men are not "thugs" and are strong men. Street credibilty is a very delicate issue. Sure you want someone that can talk to the homies on the corner but you do not want someone who is involved in their practices. Be careful when you say you have a Thug/Corporate man because as Mos Def Said in Brown Sugar "Your rep is like this". Meaning it is not respected as much as you think. We also do not want to send a message to our young men that the only way you can get a quality woman is drop out of high school and become a full time thug. But when women say I want a thug how many young people you REALLY think hear the rest of the part about someone who is going to be corporate at the same time? I think we should tell our young men to be confident and assertive not thugs.

Sphinxpoet

Re: lol.. i see nobody wants to touch this..
 

I'll stand by this kind of guy, if he's in his 40s and is near fruition with his plans. :)

And these ambitious...successful brothas want sistas???

When they get to a certain level of success, they believe the grass is greener on the other side of the racial fence. As opposed to the "thug" types who still appreciate sistas.

Believe it or not statistically most successful brothers are married to Black Women (income greater than 100K).

Such as Kenneth Chenault, the head of American Express. :) Mrs. Kathryn Chenault is in the centre of this picture:

http://www.patrickmcmullan.com/site/...vh1reid_09.jpg

Here is your statisical breakdown:

7.0% of the total Black Population makes over 100,000 per year. That breaks down to 932,050. 78% of them are black men. (726,999). Now there are no statistics that aggerate race interracial marriage and income all at the same time so now you are going to have to follow me along. Currently there are 246,000 Black Men married to white women. To be fare let us triple the number of men in that group making over 100K that are married to white women (246,000*21%). We are not going to say that all Black Men married to white women make over a 100K that is a GREAT LEAP! That means 51,660 men. Now divide that number by the total number of Black Men making over 100K in total (726,999/51,660) That is 7% of Black Men making over 100K married to white women! Follow? LOL

I follow, and I trust those stats. I think there's a lot of anxiety because a lot of high-profile black guys have married interracially. I'm not sure that we'd have this same anxiety if it was Man Man and Ray Ray and Pookie and 'em.

But the reality is that most of our "succesful Black men" are marrying Pookie and dem! LOL but we are losing focus of the topic I always find it intersting when we ask why women do A the answer is because men do B! ie why do Women date Thugs. One answer cause the Succesful men date white women.

Because he's fine and generous and she's gullable
 

What do you say to that conservative nice girl who has a man that's a thug? Thug meaning outside on the corner selling God knows what to Lord knows who and is ready to bus his gun if someone tries to mess up his cashflow. Let's face it, when these guys go out here on these streets, if the female is a "nice girl", she has no idea what it's really like in the streets. Drug dealers don't spread their business. That bonified thug could shoot somebody and then run to his sweet, nice and gullable girlfriend's house where he "knows" he's safe. All she knows is he's coming home putting money in her hand.

I have known Thugs (and we are not talking about attire here). Some would be amazed at how articulate and kind some of them are when they are not out there doing the devils work. Beautiful people that are suppose to have there A$$e$ in school somewhere. I don't know. I just don't think a thug is going to let his nice girl know how crucial the streets really are. He uses her as a safety net.

The nice girl figures it out when she gets the collect call asking her for that bail money, when she gets a black eye, when the police bang her door down, when the child protective services take her children away, when someone can't get a hold of her man and takes revenge out on her instead. It's not a Game!

I hope NO ONE takes offense at what I am about to say ;)


The reality of it is this...for me, when attending school, I didn't see the brothas who were "in school" or in a trade (because college is not for everyone) that were interested in sistas. I am sorry, but that's my experience. So yes, I believe your statistics but success is not always measured by the $100K plus salary one makes.

Why did I date thugs, because that was my reality. I didn't choose my friends based on "what they could do for me in the future $$$" but how they treated me as a person.

My husband is a former thug, but he stepped up before we became married and decided that he wanted to do the right thing and not jeopardize his/mine/family life aanymore, and I give him credit for that. I don't knock anyone for their hustle. Nor do I promote "thug mentality."

I think brickhouse 492 states it eloquently that with a thug, there are risks, however, being with a thug doesn't symbolize that a woman will be physically abused by him (but that's another issue), but yes, there are deadly risks involved with the game.

I think your indviual life is a great example of change. However let us not decieve ourselves into thinking that will happen all the time. I know thugs that have changed for the better and some that still hustle. But when you said Succesfull black men unfortunatly in our society we judge people by income and possesions. YOU ARE 100% correct money does not make you a success. But unfortunatly that is what our people think of as success. How much paper one has. BTW No offense taken I just love this debate cause there is no right answer it is a person to person thing. Just as every thug is not good, every nerd is not good and every man Black White, Latino, Martian is not good! Judge those by invidual merits not trends.

Good point. Many do not make a conscience decision to date Thugs. That is the reality for many sisters today. That was my experience before I had the opportunity to go away to school. I had never met men like those at Howard. Yes, some were wolves in sheep's clothing. But most were smart, educated and serious about securing their futures. Kudos to them!

Re: Re: lol.. i see nobody wants to touch this..
 

Took the words RIGHT out my mouf...many sistahs want the supposed "thug" because them foos be spendin' that cheddah and don't say a darsh garn thang about it!

I am currently dating the absolutely MOST conservative man I have met in my LIFE. I am from Compton, born and raised. He, from Tenessee, Morehouse, Alpha. Yeah. Sometimes I WANT a bag of fries without hearing how it is detracting from his friggin' portfolio!!!!

I say "thugs" for instant gratification..."nerds" for future plans and settling down...IF, and I do mean IF, you can wait that damn long!

Had to get that off my chest :smile:

Vivica's not going to marry the dude but hell...he looks fun.


'
:p :p

I am NOT a thug....
 

...and don't plan to be.

To all those women that like the thrill-seeking, plot-twisting and thickening lifestyle that thug life entails, you can have it. Just don't ask me out on a date when the bulljive get old and wears thin.

The only thug I have EVER thought about being (jovially speaking, of course) was a corporate thug. You know, the Gordon Gekko type: Greed is good. One that thinks about only money and wrecking businesses to get more. My thuggish lifestyle would involve book cooking, insider trading, cyber-hacking, and corporation jacking (takeovers).

I once posed as a corporate thug as a joke. I wore wifebeaters, suspenders, blue dress slacks with burgundy pennyloafers (with tassels, of course). Wore a gold watch with a class ring, holding a cigar. I had on my right shoulder a fake tattoo that said, R.I.P. Arthur Andersen, 1913-2003.

That pic never failed to get laughs.

Re: Re: Re: lol.. i see nobody wants to touch this..
 

:D :D :D You hit that on the nail. LMAO

you betta preach!!!
 

I couldn't agree with you more.