I most certainly won't give Ohhhjjjenthal Spanish Fly Simpson a break. Murdering (expletive).:p :mad:

LOL!!!!!!!!!


Okay, I will gladly turn in my Black Card for the following reasons:

I can't stand "Good Times" nor "Sanford and Son" :eek:
I didn't know how to make Kool-aid (where you add your own sugar) until my ex taught me in college
I don't like hot sauce
I do not know every single line in the movie "Firday"
and I don't know how to play dominoes :rolleyes:

Wow my black card is gone on all counts.

I refuse to believe that my card goes because OJ is guilty. I mean dang he clearly was not even ABOUT black folk so why did we all care so much?

Agreed on the whuppings note and the "black lunch table" note that was posted earlier.

I sat at the black table from grade school through college, lol!

Hey, neither did OJ until he went on BET with Ed Gordon...

And I just heard some disturbing celeb news about OJ that ain't in ANY po-po records...

DO share!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Dionysus


You will absolutely postively lose your black card if:

You got time-out instead of "whoopins" when you were a kid or you are planning on giving your future children time-outs instead of spankings.


What ya talkin about Willis, you mean I ain't Black

Man this thread is funny. I must really be black cause with the exception of liking pig parts, most of this appplies to me, and I grew up nice and "proper" in Cali!
As far as the whoopings, I DO NOT know a black person my age who did not "catch" a whooping, where are these parents yall had cause Mrs. Carter did not play!

Another one:

No matter how "good" your hair is, you will lose your black card if you attempt to pull off WASH AND WEAR HAIR. Don't go there. Ummm negro, don't walk around w/ Real World Adam's hair yelling "ewwww" whenever someone mentions that you need hair moisterizer or grease and a good hair iron. *cough*my brother and a certain high school friend*cough*

You cain't use no "Prell" on the chile's hair, now cain ya...

OMG!!! Kool-Aid is our drink! I can't believe he's never tasted Kool-Aid. And he doesn't know what he's missing (when it's mixed just right ;) )

LOL! TELL IT!

This one gets me man, and is the reason I feel bad for some biracial children with white mothers. No idea how to do the hair. Sometimes you see biracial kids with the white parent in Rite Aid looking in the hair care aisle, and mama picks up mousse or those all-in-one shampoo and conditioners*shaking my head*. Poor children. They always have just one big ponytail that is mostly bush.

The other day I was watching Law & Order- they had a white mother with a black child and the child's hair was done PERFECTLY in neat plaits. I thought to myself- ah the magic of television!

****hi jack****

Oh gurl...you came back with a country word! I haven't heard plaits in sssssooooo long. My granny always said plaits and sneakers were tennises ( that's right with a "es" on the end)
:D :D :D

***end hi jack ****

When I was living in North Cackalacky about 10 years ago, my white housemates, a married couple, took in two biracial children. I remember the husband half calling out to me for help because B., the little girl, wasn't looking too good.

Understand that I've had my hair done by my sister, a cosmetologist with nearly 30 years of experience, or by professionals. So I'm not great at doing my own hair unless it's freshly relaxed.

But I stepped in, put some oil on B.'s hair, blow-dried it and made it look respectable.:p

Oh yeah my gramma says the same thing! :D

Reminds me of the book "Brothers and Sisters" by Bebe Moore Campbell, when she is talking about Esther's character. Esther has an IR couple that moves next to her and the child has the most JACKED hair, until her and her girlfriend step in and school the mother!

It makes me wanna holler when I see some adorable mixie kid with JACKED hair. If you don't know you bettah ask somebody!

Trust me when we have kids, I will make sure that my husband (who is white) knows how to do mini-girlfriend's hair
(The last time we saw a mixie kid with jacked hair, he was the one who pointed it out to me!) :D

Hey now, my mama used to wash my hair with Prell -- in the tube -- back in the day!

Mine too...and do NOT even get me started with the HOT COMB!

Hijack:
A few weeks ago I was at work (I work in a store) and I saw a chick roll up to me wanting to purchase some Ultra Sheen for extra dry hair. I have not seen that stuff in years!

Apparently that is the only thing that works on her hair...

Did I mention she was white?

*lol* This is I can usually tell, with biracial kids, if their mom is black or not, because their hair will be under CONTROL. :D

Now if my ex sister-n-law would just listen to me about my nephew's hair.....

If you did not grow up using Suave shampoo/conditioner and Blue Magic hairgrease, then I may pull your card! :LOL :D

Don't forget Dixie Peach hairgrease. :D

Oh NOT the ghetto grease! :D
Oh yeah if you did not get burned at least once by a hot comb!
If momma did not complain about you being ashy (mostly rubbing her hand over your face and you wind up with a shiny face)

Oh, heck, yeah, I've been burned by a hot comb. And don't forget getting burned by relaxer. I had a horrible neck burn in 1995.

Wooooo taking me back with the Dixie Peach! Don't forget DAX.

Oh...my mom tried to use Prell on me ONCE. It never happened again.

Oooooh! DAX was the greasiest grease of them all.

You can get your black card pulled if your Mom never put a hunk of DAX on the back of her hand when she was pressing your hair. She waive her hands around as much as she wanted and that grease wasn't going anywhere.

You can also get your black card snatched if you don't know what Jean Nate and Hai Karate smell like.

If you or a family member never owned a television where you used a wire hanger as an anttenna, hand over your card.

If you put little foil balls on top of said anttenna hoping to get a better reception, hand over your card.

If you used a pair of pilers to change the station cause the knobs were missing, hand in your card.

Jean Nate
 

I remember I used to love getting into my mom's Jean Nate and putting it on me. :) Now, I've moved on to more sophisticated scents.

I know what Hai Karate smells like, but I don't recall my Dad using it.

That hotcomb was the bane. of. my. childhood.

Ugh. And it does so much damage to the hair! Never again.

I really, really want sons people, lol.

Re: I've been told..............
 

So so true. I'd rather I'd never learn. Give me Go Fish anyday. lol J/k. :D

There are permanent dents in the tops of my ears from my mother burning me in the same spot so many times. She still does not think that there is anything qrong with that. Her answer is "if would have sat still, you wouldn't have gotten burned."

I am not pressing my daughter's hair. If she needs it straightened, then I'll take her to the hairdresser. No hot combs on my stove.

YOU AIN'T NEVER LIED!!

My mom would wait to get on the phone and get to talking and get to burning my kitchen up!!!!!:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Then I would go outisde, run and play, and POOF!!! It would go back. She would cuss me out. I would cry. She would put my azz back in press and curl torture chamber!!! :(

She did not use DAX or Dixie but I know my hair was OILED down like crazy.

Never got your hair french braided without adding hair? having 8000 beads in yo hair?

lololo Ok **hijack**

HC I saw a little girl like this the other day
HC from a distance I thought she had blue hair
HC she had so many beads that she had trouble controlling her head
HC she reminded me of Syreena and Venus
HC? HC? HC?

ok we're back! :D

HC you named my mom and dad's favorite scents when I was growing up? http://www.superbabies.homestead.com/files/biglaugh.gif

HC I thought I was grown when my grandmother would let me wear some of her Jean Nate to church?
HC I know the congregation could smell me five blocks away because I damn near bather myself in it?
HC?

LOL! LOL! So so sad, but so so true. I never figured out HC that always has to happen, surely the mother knows other black people besides the baby daddy? :confused:

Or the grandma or the aunts. Somebody should be able to help with the child's hair.

MAMMAAAA NOOOOOOOO!!!!

You didn't like "Good Times"? :eek:

Or let my grandmother tell it, (that's who I lived with in NY when I was younger, not my mother) she didn't burn you (actually she hasn't touched you yet), it was just steam. LMAO!!! Well SHII it burns!!!!!!

...you don't know what Blue Magic grease is.

...you don't know how burning hair smells...a la hot comb.

...you can't remember ever running for the ice cream man.

...if you lived in the city, you never got wet running through the fire hydrant in the summer.

...you never played hopscotch on the city sidewalk.

...the neighborhood 'candystore' was actually a store.

...you never owned a pair of 'bullettoes'.

...you don't remember that "CUGA" shoes actually meant "Can you get Addidas?" LMAO!!!

AMEN! No hot combs! No sirree bob!
And then you got burned and you jumped....a natural reflex
They got mad at you for jumping! HELLO!
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember my mom burning me near my eye....I had extra eyelashes for at least a week!

[This was my summertime hairstyle from since I can remember auntil maybe the 7th grade! :eek:

I looked like the lead singer from the Mary Jane girls?:p

It was a semi year round style for me. Let me see if I can find a pic, lol. I think I stopped for good summer after 7th grade when I had to go swimming every day.

How about you had a "Candy Lady" that lived in your apt. building/on your block/around the corner, and you stopped by there before you walked to school? LOL...

And I remember those days sitting in class bored when I was in the 5th grade...down ever slip and decide to lean your head against you hand--you ended up w/ Blue Magic ALL OVER you hand!!! :eek:

You played "double dutch"with an extension cord that was 50 ft long...

You lived in a house that had bars on the windows...:o

Or you have distinct memories of a certain period of time in your childhood when the "ice cream man" would come around at like 8pm--it would be JET DARK outside...hmm, you sell 'ice cream', you say? Sure... :confused: