Uh, sure. Whatever you say.

I don't think Hootie meant it like that. I think she was trying to say, "if a guy does x, y, and z, what else could he BE but a gentleman?"

This thread makes me laugh -- my daddy's an AKL and the ONLY thing he used to tell me about his fraternity (he thought they'd died off so he was sad to talk about it, until I went to school and found a chapter there!) was that they had etiquette classes once a month, and he'd taught most of them. Which he was very proud of.

I also dated a Kappa Sigma for a little under a year and in their pledge book, they had page after page of what to do in certain situations. Everything from tying a tie to which spoon to use.

Do y'all think it's rude to "teach" guys to do certain things? I was absolutely head over heels for my Kappa Sigma, but in his family the same things weren't important when he was growing up, so we valued different things. I'm very, very used to walking on the building side of the street. Once I explained to him why, I don't think I ever walked on the street side again. I didn't do it nastily, just explained why I did it, and how the tradition started. Is that weird?

I haven't seen anyone mention the staircase thing -- on a small staircase (e.g. one in a house) where only one person can pass at a time, the guy goes up the stairs last and down the stairs first. That way if the girl trips over her skirt (or, more likely today, her heels) she falls into him -- not the rest of the way down to the landing.

No, I don't think it's rude at all -- and I would go a step beyond and say that if the man is truly trying to be a gentleman, he will not be offended, but grateful for learning something new.

I'd feel the same way, but unfortunately dueling is considered murder if someone dies as a result of it. In the military, the Uniform Code of Military Justice actually has a specific article prohibiting dueling.

The last time dueling was actively promoted as a way to settle questions of honor was during WW II in Hitler's Germany.

Here's a site on the history of dueling: http://www.isidore-of-seville.com/dueling/ . And another on the rules of dueling: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/duel/sf...ofdueling.html

I always stand when a lady arrives at the table or is leaving the table. It gets such cool kid points for me from the ladies in the know and they are impressed. UNFORTUNATELY, there are even ladies, er, females who dont even know what I am doing. Anyway I do it as a sign of respect.

The other thing I am always doing is putting my hand on the small of a ladies back to guide her through a crowd. UNLESS we are at a huge, rather rowdy event and we need to get through a crowd in a hurry, then I useually have her hook onto my beltloop with her fingers so I can elbow peeps outta the way to make a clearing. Now thats prolly not very gentlemanly. lol.

can i just say that i LOVE when a guy does that!!!!

I used to do that, too. I thought (still think) it was helpful. Some women really object to it, though, and some have even charged sexual harassment for that kind of touching.

I love it too.

Hmmmmm....
 

Some of you guys are making me.... Well, let's just say... Moist... ;)

My husband makes me walk on the side away from the street. He opens doors for me... I can't reach over and open the door for him in the car, 'cuz he's already opened it with the automatic opener... And he stands up, when I leave the table. I guess that's why I married him... Nothing like a Morehouse Man... And true Southern Gentlemanly qualities that are reared in the utmost of families... Hmmmm...

I can think of someone who needs to be institutionalized, and it isn't sword fighting. ;)

Going along with this, it's always courteous of guys to introduce you if you're out together and you bump into some of his friends. In general, I can't stand it when people don't introduce you if you're with them and continue to talk to their friends, leaving you standing there like an idiot. That's just plain rude!

To do further research on this topis I bought "The Modern Gentleman" by Phineas Mollod and Jason Tesauro. This is more comprehensive than the other book. This book explores topics like Tipping, Skinny Dipping, Gate Crashing, Hosting, Bachelor Party, Best Manning, Flirtation, Dates, Exes and Ohs, and tons of other topics. Im almost done with part one and it seems veru interesting. Ive learned new things about hosting, and house guests, but a lot of the stuff I already knew thanks to my great parents.

skinny dipping?

I know, its kinda scandolous.

" What better end to an evening of group revelry, romantic frolic, or solitary mishceif than a refreshing rinse and spin? Breastroke sans a slap in the face, the skinny-dip is the most laudable of swims. Here, group or dual dynamics are fortified by liberating nakedness and a tinge of naughtiness. Like a night at sleep-away camp, once a small ban has shared a bare splash, all bonds are reinforced. Besides, you've always wanted to see your pal's girlfriend naked anyway."

This is the intro to the skinny-dipping section.

I'm not crazy. Listen if some one yes "Lets fight with swords" and you say "okay" you have to assume that you might get hurt. You agree to the risk therefore you assume risk. I think there is legal precident for this.

Yeah, but think of what would happen if they locked me away. I wouldn't be able to escort a lady. And there would one less gentleman. For example if a lady was assulted, and I was locked away, she'd be screwed. But if I was her escort, I would handle the situation as a gentleman. I might die, but at least Chivalry will live.

That's really unfortuate. But of course, if you were in the army and you kill another member of the same army, that is fraticide.

I'm glad someone agrees with me.

Wait, let me get this straight, ladies and gentleman of greek chat.
If a lady is insulted you're all saying (except AlphaSigOU) that I should not defend the lady's honor? :confused:

Haha, I was only kidding, but personally, if I were assaulted my first response would be to try to kick the guy's ass, and my second response would be to press charges. I wouldn't want any guy trying to defend me or get into trouble himself, plus I think a woman is most likely to get assaulted when she is alone. I would dump a guy on the spot if he threatened to later go out and find a guy who bothered me and kick his ass.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I am probably the only woman on GC who does not like most of these things that are considered "gentlemanly" or whatever you'd call it. I'm all about courtesy, but I don't like traditional male/female roles. I'm just as likely to hold the door open for my boy as he is for me, and I like it that way. :)

It depends on the woman. I would not want a guy to try to "defend my honor" because first of all, I don't even know what "honor" in that instance really means. Second, if a guy verbally insulted me, I don't think that anyone on this green earth could give him a better tongue lashing than I could myself. :)

would you want a guy to defend you in general against a mugger or somone that wanted to do harm against you?

Matt, I can't tell you how pleased I am you posted that. :D Excellent work.

Billy, if some random guy came up to me and started in with the honor-defiling, I'd expect you to do something about it. THAT SAID, you do not necessarily need to break out the gunplay to both make me feel appreciated and solve the problem appropriately.

Once I was at a party with a guy I was seeing and one of his pledges started in with things he shouldn't have been saying. The guy told the pledge to cool it, took me over to a group of girls and said he'd be right back.

He told me later what he'd said to the pledge, and I was glad I wasn't around. He handled the situation well, made it clear what the problem was and what he expected to happen in the future, and did it all without throwing a punch.

What a turn on. Too bad he still had a thing for his ex-girlfriend.

The street side thing is also mainly because back in the day when there were no toilets in the houses and apartments of Europe, the men would walk on the street side so that their lady friends would not be splashed with the contents of chamber pots. Gross, but true.

I would hope that anybody I was with, male or female, would help in such a situation. My point is that I would also be defending myself rather than sitting there passively, depending on a man to rescue me.

Valkyrie,

(Heavy sigh!)

I guess it's over between us.

HMMMM, there were no chamber pots along the side of the road!:(

The idea of a Lady walking inside of a Gentleman was to keep the Carriages from splashing the water from the street and gutter from her.

Leading a Lady by the Back was to guide her through a crowd, the same way you lead a lady to dance.

Da, opening a door or pulling out a chair is basic! :)

If it is a Shit Kickin Place Belt loop on point! :cool:

If some DUDE acts like an Asswhole to your lady, politly ask him not to and kick him in the balls!

Now, for The Ladies on this:

If you smoke and ask a guy to light your cigarett, guide his hand to the to the end of a cigarett!

Guy, if a match, light yours first so
that the Sulpher is already gone!

Girls first on a lighter, second on a match!

Girls, if the Dude is Good, do what you do to him! Show your appreciation!:D ????:cool:

Sweetheart, the fact you'd do it if your woman was in danger would be fine in my book...

The idea is that it doesn't prove you are da MAN if you were able to do it and then did it...

Then you might get yourself set up if the chicky is tryin' to play you...

So, how would you really know?

I forgot about the match vs. lighter thing! (maybe because neither of us ever smoked) That was HUGE when I was in college. Probably why we had to carry matches or a lighter when we were pledges. (Yeah, I know, that's hazing)

But I'll feel guilty. The shame. How can I ever open my pledge manual again?

Assuming I could find it.

But DeltAlum, I still love you! *sniff*

I know (taking a deep breath),I feel the same way, but we'll just have to be strong. I just can't help doing those gentlemanly things.

And the closest I've ever lived to the South is Baltimore.

I think men who are gentleman are very very sexy. Best way to turn me on is to treat me like a lady

I think DeltAlumn is secretly a southerner.

I'm sorry, but that's what I believe.

I think gentlemen should close the window if a girl is cold... this could be in his room/apartment or car. It's even better if a guy asks you if you're cold and would like the window closed.

It's nice if guys offer to give up their beds for you if you're staying the night. I'm talking about if you're crashing with a friend for the night. I think it's gentleman-like to offer-- just shows that you care... but I'd never ever deprive a guy of his bed if I'm the guest. I'll take the floor over a guy giving up his bed just because that's who I am... but it's always nice if they ask. However, once when I was staying at my friend's and sleeping on her floor, a guy who was more of an acquaintance than good friend-- only hung out with him a few times, offered for me to sleep in his water bed... he was like you are not sleeping on the floor! So I did take him up on the offer because he was so persistent... and how could I pass up the water bed! His roommate wasn't there, so he slept in his bed.

Before I had the remote for the locks, I would always physically unlock the passenger's door before my own. I once did that for a guy I was seeing and he was all impressed. I was like, no you're not special, I do it for everyone.

That reminds me of the movie Kate & Leopold!

Dueling, of course, is the last resort. ;) I thought that was obvious. Guess not.

Well, I went to college in Southern Ohio -- and they do talk funny there.

There ya go, then.

I love it when a man is a gentleman, but not in an ostentatious way. You don't get points for walking on the outside if every time you do it you point out why.

I never got the whole opening the car door thing either because I am an impatient New Yorker I guess, but last weekend a guy did it for me and I thought it was the most charming gesture. Maybe because I wasn't looking out for it? I never knew how much a gentleman should be appreciated until I met a REAL one.

Amen to that, Shelacious! I think it would be pretty difficult for me to date someone long-term who didn't know how to show gentlemanly courtesy to me, after being "spoiled" by my best guy friend!

No Tom, they used to throw the stuff out the windows...they didn't leave them at the side of the road. That was also one of the reasons why the man walked on the outside, so he would get hit with the sh*t so to speak. Gross. I swear I am not making this up.