Well, I just signed a lease on an apartment on West 118th at Amsterdam. :D

Yeah that happend alot while I was there too. I remember it was a mark of status who had the most girls cry over not getting them. Sad I know but true.

We've had it go both ways, one of my favorite sisters bawled her eyes out on bid day but now couldn't picture being anywhere else. But we've also had girls depledge within a week.

A couple of years ago two girls going thru rush together became close and both wanted us on bid day. Well that day they decided they would open each others bid day cards.. well one of the girls didnt get us... imagine the other poor girl having to give her friend a bid day card that didnt have the sorority she wanted on it! It was awful! not to mention after she ran down the steps to the other sorority she ran over to our group and cried.. right in front of her new sorority sisters! (thats the part I didnt like) well, she stayed with xyz up until the last week of pledging and then depledged. she ended up getting COBed by the sorority (we only have three!) on campus and seems really happy. I think things happen for a reason. I know when I was going thru rush I signed my pref card, I thought, I can be happy with either phi mu or XYZ. but I know now I was born to be a phi mu! my advice, give her some time to adjust... and if she sticks it out, you have to believe she really wants it!

Tiffany

Sometimes Greek Life/Panhellenic won't allow suiciding, so the PNMs have to put other GLOs on their cards. If you go to a pref party, you are somewhere on the GLO's bid list. Even if you are the last name on the list, you could still get a bid.

Emotions are running high during recruitment. These young ladies are trying to find their way in a new environment (for the freshmen anyway), but too often they listen to other people's opinions rather than their hearts, which is why their knee-jerk reaction to a bid to their 2nd choice GLO is crying. So many times (like what we've read on GC), once the crying stops, these are some of your GLO's best members, and they are thanking their lucky stars that the other GLO didn't give them a bid!

As far as cheering up a crying PNM on bid day, it's kind of a 2-fold thing. You are trying to help her through a difficult time, but you also don't want her to affect the other new members with her crying. Once the dust settles, cooler heads prevail. If she really can't see herself a member of your GLO, then it's best for both sides that she depledge.

I have to admit... I cried the night before bid day when we got a call telling us we had 10 ladies and the others had gotten 18-20... I got over it by the next day when those 10 ladies came running out to join us... and we eventually COBed to 15... but it can hard for the chapter that doesn't do well either... to welcome their new women when they're disapointed there's not more of them... and all that time and effort and energy has gone into rush..

At Hillsdale, our dean and our Panhel are VERY big on encouraging (even requiring) girls to put down two houses on their card (two being the maximum number). I "suicided" and was very happy with what I got. OUr hosue has always encouraged girls who are unsure just not to sign at all, and thus we have more non-signers than upset girls. This usually works out: the don't sign that day, have a week to think about it and get to know some girls outside of recruitment, and then might receive their new bids. This works out for many people and there are less "spur of the moment" emotional decisions.

Glitter650, we had a similar situation this year. We only picked up nine girls on pick-up night (quota was 13, I believe, and we have made quota every year for forever). Many of the members were upset because girls that they had wanted had not signed or signed elsewhere. I felt extremely bad for our new members on bid night because some of our actives were acting kind of dissapointed. However, the wonderful thing is that we picked up nine beautiful girls who really, really wanted to be Pi Phis, regardless of where they were on our list. Additionally, we ended up picking up several non-signers the next week! :)

I remember one year walking by a pnm bawling her eyes out to 2 sisters. This was after bids had been given out. Turns out another sorority had told her that she was supposed to get a bid from their group. She came late to the bid night party but never pledged. The Greek Life Dir wanted to talk with her about possible rush infraction but the girl dropped out of sight. I don't know if she went through rush the next year.

You also have sisters who are devastated that their Rush Crush put someone else 1st on the bid list and got a bid from them.

Unfortunately, there is crying and lying on both sides.

that happened to me-- this one awesome girl came to COBs before recruitment, but we couldnt give her a bid because she was a freshman (we are allowed to bid upperclassmen before formal recruitment, and in fact we usually pick up 5 girls before the process begins!) and she loooved us, or so she said. I preffed her, but she went to XYZ. the entire chapter was heartbroken. But its ok, because we got an awesome pledge class that semester without her.

Jocelyn, also at some large schools where the bid matching is done by computer the program "throws out" girls who suicide or don't put the max number of choices. So in this case you are sorta stuck.

Ah, I see. It isn't fair for PNM's to be "punished" for knowing exactly who they fit best with. It's like "you aren't willing to settle for second or third so we'll just match you last" :(

PNM's going through formal recruitment are always encouraged to maximize their possibilities by going to all the parties they are eligible for as well as filling out their pref card completely - although certainly not every campus Panhellenic kicks out the cards of those who choose to SIP. I have seen many posts on GC (and I know women personally) who did not get their first choice in formal recruitment but gave their second choice a try and it worked out beautifully. Of course, there are women for whom it doesn't work out. I don't think this is a "punishment" for "knowing" what group you want. It is an opportunity for a PNM to see that it is likely that they would fit well with another group if given the opportunity. That opportunity is lost if a rushee SIPs and doesn't match. This is especially important for freshman women who may have a preconceived notion about joining only one group (maybe the one who's website they liked best or the one their third cousin joined in another state) when they would fit just as well (or better) in another.
No PNM ever has to accept a bid she doesn't want, but filling the bid card out completely gives PNMs a chance to go to another house if they don't get their first choice. When it comes to going bidless many will do that.

Originally posted by 2blue-Unfortunately, there is crying and lying on both sides. Very true.

This is especially important for freshman women who may have a preconceived notion about joining only one group (maybe the one who's website they liked best or the one their third cousin joined in another state) when they would fit just as well (or better) in another. aopinthesky Great answer!
This is the part I think needs repeating over and over as new women ponder recruitment. What you see isn't always what you get.

I would bet some percent-perhaps larger than we think-of the unhappiest women may very well have gotten their first choice.
Oh, but that may be too cynical...

Oh, justamom, I don't think it's possible to be too cynical about almost anything in this world. :)

Quoting Tom Hanks from the movie "A LEague Of Our Own"


Crying? Are you Crying?

There is no crying in Sorority Rush! There is NO CRYING in Sorority Rush. :p

Didn't read the whole thread, but wanted to mention this is especially sticky @ my school because after PanHel hands out the bids (in this big student center, to all 400 freshmen girls who rush) all of the new members are led by their Rho Chis in a big group to the gym. Then each sorority's (we have 9) sophomore class comes in and one by one each group claps and does their rush chant (there's probably an official word for it--we do "Pi Pi ADPi") and leads out their group of girls (roughly 35-40 each year). So the girls who hypothetically wanted one specific sorority, for example, but didn't get it gets the lovely chance to sit there and watch as all of the girls IN that new bid class get up and leave with their group.....I remember seeing more than one crying girl in the big group of 400 freshmen girls as we chanted and left with our new alphas!

All I have to say is ditto.:(

LMAO! :D Every time I see this thread title, I think of that line and that movie!

How about crying tears of joy???????


I must have looked like a total fool opening up my bid card to
see Zeta Tau Alpha and then jumping up and down and sobbing hysterically from joy and relief at the same time :)

Great minds and all that . . . ;)

How insensitive! I guess the school feels it's ok since there are no women present who did not receive a bid at all, but still!

The year I went through recruitment, we had one crier, and a few who didnt get their first choice. None of them quit, and in the end ended up being happy and great sisters.


I suicided on my bid card, because I only wanted Theta. Had I not gotten in Theta, I wouldve been upset, but I wouldnt have regretted my decision to suicide. It was Theta or nothing at all for me.

ACK!
 

This thread is just bringing back too many memories...BAD ones.

Now, I have to say that I thank my lucky stars that I got my first choice, but I know that it was close for me between AGD and XYZ because the rotation at AGD got messed up and I didn't meet as many girls at the beginning of rush at AGD. Thank God we still did open houses then so they knew that I was interested because I went to all the open house events as well as the formal rush events.

XYZ was rushing me very hard and I felt really bad because I was so in love with AGD. It hurt when I saw them after I got my bid because I really liked them but I just knew that AGD was for me!

But, as I matured in my Greek and campus life, I really did adopt the philosophy that I could have done fine in any house and the culture at the time really promoted being "open minded" throughout rush and about all the other GLOs.

It does hurt though as a member that has worked so hard during rush to have a whole crew of rushees show up hysterically crying and overhear them saying very horrible things to their parents on the phone about how the girls are horrid, etc., and blaming the chapter that bid them for their bad rush experience. That happened one year when the hand matching of the bids was not done correctly, and there were girls that were bid to all the houses that had not been there since Day 2 and in some cases, Day 1 :(. The pictures are horrible from that day and it was so hurtful, as that pledge class didn't really bond with the rest of the house and so many of them dropped. All the members in the other chapters were in the same boat too. It was just a hard year all the way around.

The saddest story that I remember was this girl was IN LOVE with ABC and told everyone during rush that it was ABC or nothing. Well, with an attitude like that of course she didn't have a good rush and was hanging on by a thread. Well, of course she didn't get ABC and ended up with a bid from another house, who was a great house. Well, she went over to the ABC's anyway and in the commotion, was given a t-shirt and was hiding her bid card. At that time we had firetrucks take us around and she was climbing onto the truck of ABC when the members of ABC started to realize that something wasn't right along with some of the members of the Panhellenic staff. Well, the Panhell staff went over to her and she insisted she was bid to ABC and her card said that she was (which it wasn't). Then she kind of went into shock and the Panhellenic staff was helping her take off the t-shirt that she had been given and lead her over to the chapter that she was bid to. I felt so sorry for all of them, but as the day went on, the girl had a complete meltdown and refused to come out of the president's room. The girls mother even called the president and the university repeated times and kept blaming the chapter that had picked the girl up for all the problems. It really didn't help the morale of that chapter, as they were not having a good time with their numbers, etc., and it made the members feel so bad.

The girl did end up de-pledging and her parents threatened legal action. They tried to get her into ABC chapter by calling them all the time too. It was so sad and ugly. When the members saw this girl a few weeks later at a party they said hello, just to be friendly and also feel the waters, as they were COBing and the rushee was so rude to them and had another meltdown. Then her mother was calling all over creation again and claimed that the members of the house that she had dropped were stalking her.

Ugh--that would make me just want to wash my hands of the whole process. Obviously the girl had some real issues and didn't last long at college.

But, I am glad that there are those girls that stick it out. My best friend was one of those girls and I would have no idea what my college and sorority experience would have been if she would not have been my pledge sister. She was bawling her head off on the fire truck but gave it "the old college try". We just got back from our chapter's International Reunion Day celebration last weekend and we were talking about her rush and pledging experience. We were meant to be together, plain and simple.

bump
 

Did any of this happen during this fall recruitment?

Great story Jocelyn! It makes me want to cry!

I know firsthand about crying. I felt bad, but due to my inability to check voicemail messages on my room phone, I missed the PX call about me not having final party bids. So I showed up to the meeting and they had to pull me aside and explain it, and I got really upset. I did my preference signing the friday before everyone else did theirs.So I spent a weekend being all smiles and pats on the back for everyone while they went to their finals. Pref day came, got a call saying no-bid...not a big deal, kinda resigned. But then on Monday (pref signing is on a sunday, NM night is a monday) I got a call from the director of Greek Life saying that my no. 1 choice offered me a bid, and that I could have it if I still wanted. This of course inspired a lot of yelling/cheering/crying for me. When I picked up the bid, I found my neighbor/new sister and we started singing "No eating here tonight, no eating here tonight you're on a diet" from Finding Nemo (don't ask). But still, I don't regret my choice to accept to this day.

My school is another one that makes you put down two choices no if, ands, or buts. So there are people who will be unhappy...I knew personally if i didnt get Alpha Phi but the group that i listed second i would have cried and then not accepted them.

the one good thing about our rush is that the girls are given their bids (or called saying they have no bids) earlier that day so that there are no tears on bid night.

We had a girl who wanted Tri-Delta and not us, so she was bawling on bid day (this was actually the year before I pledged, but you can tell in the pictures she was crying). I'm not sure how they dealt with her, but she went on to become very active... a choreographer for all of our skits and vp:programming (which is the second highest office in DG). She kept a few friends from Tri-Delt, but in the end she was able to admit she fit better in DG.

I was a different story... I had my heart set on one sorority, and after I got cut from them third round, it made me think seriously about what I wanted, and I started bawling because at that point I knew Delta Gamma was where my home was. I also went on to having several friends in that sorority (one is still one of my best friends, today), but because I joined a smaller sorority, I was able to go on and hold several different offices and represent DG on several different occasions. I know if I had joined the other sorority I might not have been able to do that, since it's such a large and competitive sorority, but I would've had the same friends in it, more than likely.

They have no right to cry when lots of other girls don't even get bids.

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey,
butane in my veins so I'm out to get the junkie
with the plastic eyeballs, spraypaint the vegetables,
dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose,
kill the headlights and put it in neutral,
stockcar flaming with a loser in the cruise control,
baby's in Reno with the vitamin D,
got a couple of couches, sleep on the love seat,
someone came sayin' I'm a saint (I'm insane)
to complain about
a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt,
don't believe everything that you breathe,
you get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve,
so shave your face with some mace in the dark,
saving all your food stamps for burning down the trailer park,

yo, cut it
Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me,
double barrel buckshot,
Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me,

forces of evil on a bozo nightmare,
ban all the music with a phony gas chamber
cause one's got a weasel and others got a flag,
one's on the pole, shove the other in the bag,
with the rerun shows and cocaine nose job,
the daytime crap of the folk singers slop,
he hung himself with a guitar string,
a slab of turkey neck and it's hangin' from a pigeon wing,
I can't write if ya' can't relate,
trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate,
and my time is a piece of wax, fallen on a termite,
who's chokin' on the splinters

Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me
get crazy with the cheez-wiz,
Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me
drive, by, body pierce
yo bring it on down

Soy

(em llik uoy t'nod yhw os ybab resol a m'I, rodedrep nu yoS)

I'm a driver, I'm a winner
things are gonna' change I can feel it

Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me
I can't believe it
Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me

Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me
Sprechen sie deutsch, baby

Soy un perdedor, I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me
You know what I'm sayin'

33girl, you never cease to amaze! :)

I (yet again) cried on Bid Night. There was a PNM on pref night who told me "I really love it here." We'd all been in love with her the ENTIRE time, but we knew that she'd also gone to pref at another chapter. She'd mentioned that she'd had a pretty good time there. So we were on pins and needles at Bid Night wondering if she'd run out to us or XYZ. Sure enough, on Bid Night, she came to us. She had tears in her eyes as she ran STRAIGHT to me saying "Oh my gosh, I was so scared you guys didn't want me!" I hugged her and we both cried. Yes, I'm a dork. :)

This is sort of OT, but the idea of "nongreek/loser" doesn't make sense. There are a number of groups that do worthwhile things. Some of them are Greek, but many aren't.
I was thinking about this last night, and it seems like it's a matter of finding the setting that best meshes with your own personality. For example, I'm comfortable in some loosely structured community groups and volunteer software teams. But others might prefer the structure of a GLO.
None of these options are intrinsically better or worse than others; the goal is to end up in the best place for you. What kinds of activities do you genuinely enjoy? If you're at a big school, chances are that there's a student club related to that, and you could make some great friends that way.

We've discussed nongreekloser at length. She came on here, posted a bunch of selfhating garbage in a bid for sympathy, and then went away and has never visited again. Thank goodness.

Trust me, she doesn't merit a soupcon of a thought.

Duh, guess I could have checked the dates on the posts before responding.... Oh well.

Ok, I'm going to chime in with my 2 cents. I realize most of these posts were made a long time ago but, I have to say that I am a little offended to hear people say that someone should have no right to cry on bid day. Maybe it's not the best thing to do, but everyone has their reasons.

I will fully admit that I was crying on bid day. Yes, I signed my bid card, with the one house that I went to pref night at. I knew I wanted to be greek, but I wasn't sure if this was the house for me. I was very confused and upset and not knowing whether to even go to bid day or not. I cried on the bus all the way to the house. And strangely enough, the other new member who was sitting next to me is now one of my best friends.

When I got to the house, the girl who had rushed me most of the week grabbed me and took me upstairs so that I didn't have to be around people, and we could talk openly, just the two of us. She made me feel so much better about the whole situation, and even though I still wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do, I was able to go and enjoy the rest of bid day and meet all of my new sisters.

In the end, I found out that I WAS where I was meant to be, and have never regretted it since.

So please, please, please don't say that a PNM has no right to be crying. Most of the time, all she needs is some understanding and someone to talk to who may have been in her shoes.

My advice if you have a PNM show up at your house on bid day in tears..... Have her "bid day buddy" (or whatever your chapter calls them) take her somewhere away from all the happy party time and just talk to her, and try to get her to open up about why she feels the way she does. You never know, that could make the difference between her staying or depledging.

My big sis was one of those criers. I know Phi Mu was her third choice. She was still talking about it the next year when she got me! Kind of a bummer.

I would have been devastated if I didn't get Phi Mu. As a legacy with a very active mother I spent every rush with my mother at her chapter where she was the advisor so it never occured to me to be anything else! I admit, I would have cried all day if I got anything else. Looking back, ended up having lots of friends in my second and third choice, so I would have been happy there too.

Jocelyn dear, we need to work on keeping you tear-free on bid day!! :) Good story though.

This irritates the hell out of me.

how can you force a girl to sign a bid card at the end of preference? how many girls put ABC as first choice just because that was the last party they were at and the most fresh in their mind? What happens if the girl goes how and sleeps on it and decides "I really should have picked XYZ". I dont understand why girls cant get multiple bids, and then they accept the one they want. Yeah, I KNOW, dont freakin bash me, I dont understand how it works at big schools, but I just KNOW that there are always goingt obe situations where girls put one group as 1st or second for the wrong reason and after really reflecting and giving it thought, changing their minds, and being forced to go somewhere other than where their heart really was.

Somebody is going to say that the reason is to prevent dirty rushing, and girls from XYZ calling her that night and trying to influence her, etc etc etc. It doesnt matter. if 3 different sororities want her, then 3 different sororities should be able to invite her. And quota should be implemented in a way that each sorority can ONLY give the quota number of bids. THEN, after thats all said and done, chapters who didnt receive quota can go back and snap bid.

okay, so maybe I'm dellusional. Sounds like a good plan to me anyway....

Please dont attack me! I've already said I dont know EXACTLY how it works at each campus...maybe my idea is like communism - sounds like a good idea on paper but in practice doesnt actually work.