Carnation's daughter stops her from further embarassment. Carnation was only trying to relive her party girl days at the Lambda Chi Alpha house at the University of Arkansas. "I'm just having some fun!" Suddenly all of the women from GC start singing, "Girls just wanna have Fun!" in the middle of a riot!

Simon the grouch says, "This is incredible, incredibly awful!"

Paula says, "I think that they show a lot of potential and great energy."

Randy says, "Yeah dawg yeah!"

The riot continues...

until the cops show up and arrest everyone. Everyone is in the same holding cell, all GC'ers, the V's, non-Greeks, and even some other random people who managed to slip into the party. Earp, Kitso, KABilly, OptimistPrime, and a few other male GC'ers decide to approach these randoms and........

play a good old fashioned game of paper-rock-scissors....a game of strategy, skill, and hand-eye coordination. all of the GC men win their rounds....all but Tom who was distracted by

A huge she/he leaning through the bars of the next cell.
"Hey big boy..." it called to Tom. "You new in these parts?? I'm Teddie.....but you can just call me the welcoming committee.."

Tom didn't like this one bit. In fact, he was so freaked out that he....

swore if anyone told the shim about the cigar shop, he would take them out himself! He didn't want a Monica Lewinsky happening up in the cell, especially with a shim. Just then, John shows up to bail out all of the GC'ers, which left the V's, non-Greeks, and randoms still in jail. Next thing you know......

The lights go out.

There's screaming.
Crying.
"Stop touching my ass!" ilovemyglo screams.

"Ok someone took my tequila...." AXJules whines.

"CUT THAT OUT!!!" Tom yells.

The lights come back on and everyone gasps when they see-

... that all the guys from the FINE AS ... Well, pretty good looking! thread have shown up.

aephi alum is most pleased. ;)

Then...

valkyrie the lawyer arrives to bail their sorry azzes out of the Big House. The problem is, bail is set at $5,000 a head and valkyrie only has $15,000! So who to bail out? And who to leave behind? valkyrie decides that she will spring these 3 people from the jail cell..........

lifesaver, librasoul, and starang, because they had unfinished business at the brothel, and also since business is booming now, librasoul has enough money to bail the rest of the GCers out. The GCers and fine azz people head back to the brothel where...

alphagamdiva and kitso are dancin to the music.....it's almost cute really....but then kappatarzan tries to break in and a certain moderator has to regulate!

while AlphaSigOU and the rest of us unfortunates who couldn't make bail make plans for a prison breakout (whistles theme from The Great Escape)... :D

Tom Earp grabs Kappa Tarzan and busts a move. There is no way that Kappa Tarzan will be stopped. Kitso is her man, but alphagamdiva has other plans.

but AlphaSigOU didn't realize that librasoul, lifesaver, and starang were returning with the bail money from the brothel. AlphaSigOU was disappointed when he realized that he might never have an opportunity to use his special skills from many covert operations for the CIA. He decides to drink away his disappointment and dance with all the GC women at the party especially..

Cream. He slams down shot after shot screaming the word CREAM at the top of his lungs and gets kicked out of the bar. He stumbles into the night, down the long, empty street looking for something, anything that can make him forget that dreaded dance, just like he forgot where he put his keys. He rambles down the road aways and almost trips over...

a bum laying in the street, as he looks closer at the drunken man he realizes it is none other than zntke missing his dearest love...

...and then just as we finish diggin' the tunnel for our breakout we get the news that the rest of the herd (including yours truly :) ) gets bailed out! (So much for the CIA escape tactics... if you can get out without mussin' yer clothes, better still! ;) )

Meanwhile as the GC Friday night orgy continues... (Hey! It's not just an orgy, it's a TOGA party! :D) Stumblin' all over the street and bumpin' into znTKE and as he figgers out who the hell I am I give 'm some sage advice from none other than Bluto Blutarski... "my advice to you... start drinking heavily!" :)

That's when Kitso rolls up in his A&M toga, with AGDiva draped over his arm and tells zntke, "you should listen to him, he's pre-med"

While AlphaSig and Kitso are in the street reciting lines from Animal House, SATX rolls up, eyes wide saying, "you guys will never believe what i just heard about DeltAlum. It seems......

that DeltAlum is a secret billionaire spy. He's a cross between Bill Gates and James Bond. This sparks the interest of most of the GC women and a few of the guys. ;) He travels around the world attempting to...

He travels around the world attempting to rid the world of false conceptions of greek life. He shows vidoetapes of fraternity parties in his glory days as an active Delt at Ohio University to all who will watch. However Delta Alum also is even more secretly involved in the conspiracy to.....

... keep it away from the hands of nefarious evildoers... I can just picture him in the baccarat table of some casino somewhere going eye to eye with some femme fatale (ladies, take your pick... :)) as the cards are played:

Dealer: Huit à la pont. (Eight to the player.)
DeltAlum flips his cards.
Dealer: Neuf à la banc! (Nine to the banker. Banker wins the hand.)
Femme fatale: I admire your luck, Mr...
DeltAlum: Alum. DeltAlum. (snippet of the "James Bond Theme" playing in the background)

And then he gets summoned to GC headquarters for his next secret mission...

where DeltAlum's Deepher Angels: Cream, shadokat, and bcdphie are summoned to defeat the nefarious evil doers and Vs. The three Deepher Angels decide to...

seek the wisdom of valkyrie, librasoul22, and (what the hell) RUgreek to help determine their plan of attack to strike at.....

. . . but then events change quickly. The next morning rolls around to find our mostly inebriated and unconscious heroes in various states of peril!

IT turns out that ilovemyglo and alphagamdiva wake bound and gagged in the back of a truck heading towards a White Slave auction in Mexico . . . They were kidnapped by some Sigma Chi's they teased before.

Librasoul, Cream and AlphaSigOU conceive of the idea of Robbing the Bank of America for spending cash and are on their way to join Kabillymac to get weapons and draw up plans. . . .

AggieSigmaNu361 is drawing up 361 plans to try and rescue ilovemyglo and alphagamdiva, and CutiePie2000 keeps slapping him about the head and telling him to focus . . .

SATX*APhi and LeslieAGD have hear about an audition for a new Greek Life movie and are getting dressed to go as well as wondering who else might like to try out. . .

Optimist Prime got lucky . . .

And James just sits there with total disregard drinking straight shots of tequilla.

So tune into tomorrow loyal followers and see if: ilovemyglo and alphagamdiva get sold as love slaves . . . whether librasoul and friends successfully pull off the bank heist for 10 million dollars . . . whether AggieSigmaNu361 gets hit by Cutiepie2000 361 times . . . whether Sat*Aphi and LEslieAGD get the parts . . . and whether OptimistPrime needs an antibiotic after his night of unprotected sex with a female GC'er yet to be named . . .

ilovemyglo and alphagamdiva, now across the Mexican border, ponder the alternatives... On on hand--being sold as sex slaves! On the other--HOT LATIN MEN! They decide to stick it out and ride with the punches...

Meanwhile, Optimist Prime sits in the Student Health Center waiting to get the morning after pill with his random mystery hookup, .......

AggieSigmaNu and CutiePie2000 are having trouble resolving their rescue plan differences. As Cutie goes in to slap him for the 361st time, Aggie realizes he really likes all the abuse. He gets cutie to go with him to buy some masochistic toys to experiment with....

As Cream, Librasoul, KABillyMac and myself hatch our nefarious plan to rob the bank for beer money, we also enlist the help of KSigkid and his PABST truck to haul the loot. But don't empty the kegs, though!

Several kegs later, we're drunk out of our skulls and we still haven't pulled the bank heist! Beer money... what beer money? :D

Kitso decides that no crush of his is gonna be sold into sex slavery. He gives cutiepie an excuse, "uh, i gotta go home and wash....my truck" and jumps into his truck and speeds for the Mexican border. On the way he stops to pick up Kevlar and is like, "bud, i need some help rescuing some sweet southern belles from the clutches of an evil drug lord" Kevlar replies with, "Mount up!'

They reach Matamoras by dawn, and by showing every person they come across a picture of Diva, they are able to track down Diva and ilovemyglo's whereabouts. Pumped up on adrenaline to rescue his girl and about 4 shots of Cuervo, Kitso busts in the door to a run down bar with a crowbar, Kevlar stands behind him brandishing a Louisville ;) Slugger.

"Hey you dirty bastards, you will die like dogs if Diva and ilovemyglo aren't returned unharmed." Kevlar yells.

Diva and ilovemyglo come running out from the back of the garage, and the foursome back their way out of the bar, Kitso stopping on the way to hoist up a keg of Corona.

"Vaya con Dios, bitches" he yells, as they jump into his truck and speed for the border. They dont' stop until they reach the friendly confines of San Antonio, and in front of the Alamo AlphaGamDiva turns to Kitso and says.....

"kits--" but before she can utter a word......kitso cuts in by saying, "you know how you've been wondering what i can really do 361 times? i think you should know....it's....

"kits--" but before she can utter a word......kitso cuts in by saying, "you know how you've been wondering what i can really do 361 times? i think you should know....it's....
"Stop! Please!" she cries. "Show me!" Kitso looks into her eyes and teasingly licks his lips in anticipation. Up rushes 33girl and yells "Hurry up! We gotta get out of here!" AlphaGamDiva is in a trance so 33girl has to slap her a couple of times to bring her back to reality. Grabbing her arm, she casts an annoyed glance at kitso and reluctantly, he puts his tootsie pop back in his pocket. "Listen up you guys, I hate to be the one to say this, but
it's all been lies, LIES I tell you! There is a TRAITOR among us and it's...

...the V's! They're using yet another screen name, which is...

AlphaSigOU!!!!! you think all those 'mis-haps' were really mis-haps?!?!?!?!" just then, a maniacle laugh is heard in the distance......it is none other than "AlphaSigOU"!!! <dum dum duuuuum> ilovemyglo has been kidnapped again....despite warnings to stay away from certain people with maniacle laughs, she was easy talked into the trap! suddenly, OTW walks in with her grass skirt on to try and save her sister by distracting AlphaSig.....however, her plan is spoiled when james, sporting his new coconut beanie, tries to spit game at OTW.....

OTW, now distracted by james, grabs at his beanie yelling "you've destoryed my favorite coconout bra!" james, completely mystified, stammers and says....

"I think I need another hot of Tequilla, anyone want one?"

AlphaSigOU hollers in his best Noo Yawk accent? "Ta-kill-ya? How's about a beeh heeh? With a Ta-kill-ya chaser!" :D

OTW then clocks AlphaSigOu with the remenants of her coconut bra and makes a run to safety in the arms of........

UF_Pike who loves the hot ladies of GC especially the AGDs. UF_Pike buys a round of tequila shots for all the GCers. Three cheers for UF_Pike. The sounds of hip hip hooray awaken AlphaSigOU from his coconut bra slumber and has a shot of tequila with...

UF_Pike since he was kind enough to buy the shots. Before drinking the shot, they all made a toast, and it went a little something like this:

"here's to the beer we drink
here's to the beer we chug
if the beer we drink can't be chugged
forget the beer and find a hot chick....."

realizing that it wasn't even beer in their hands, UF_Pike and AlphaSigOU laugh and try to find someone to participate in a body shot.......

uf pike found a hot chick that agreed, then uf pike took the body shot. Then uf pike walk back to AlphaSigOU and asked him why he was laughing. AlphaSigOU said dude you took a body shot off a transvestite. Uf Pike started to throw up just as someboy walked in tha bar it was...

OTW saying "I love my AGD sistah, but the cheer goes like this..."

"Heres to the men that we love,
Heres to the men that love us.
But the men that we love,
Arent the men that love us.
So to Hell with all the men,
Heres to us!"

As they down the shots purchased for them by the long gone...

KABillyMac

he bought them his favorite kentucky burbon and breezed out again after a hot minute. As he exited the building he tipped his hat to...