You and I are right on the same page here.

Take a read at what I said above. You were just nicer about it than me.

I don't have a problem with thin people. In-fact, I wish I looked like that. I would also NEVER say anything derrogatory or rude about a thin person's weight. I've been known to give a gentle rib here or there about wishing I was so thin, but I have never been outright cruel. I would never be.

This thread isn't about hating on thin people, whether they are thin naturally or by hard work.

It's about trying to identify with someone in a world where all you are shown is thinness and beauty, and you are expected to uphold those ideals. It's about trying to identify in a world where if you aren't perfectly thin, you're considered a lesser person.

It's sad and true.

I have changed myself immensely. I cut out all refined sugar, meat, fried food, alcohol, and pretty much only eat fruits, vegetables, grains, and tofu stuff for protein. And I work out more than all 3 of my roommates combined.

But people still assume stuff about me.

Last Christmas break, one of my roommates brought like 24 cookies back for us all to eat. They were gone overnight. Two of my roommates accosted me the next day and told me it was so rude of me to have eaten all the cookies and not left any for everyone else.

I had two cookies.

They kept harassing me about my denial of it until the 4th roommate (and the thinnest) came home and told us she had eaten like 15 of them while watching TV after we all had gone to bed.

They didn't even apologize to me.

I carry myself well. My weight doesn't look that bad on me compared to most. I know I'm sexy and beautiful. But it's REALLY hard to carry myself that way when I have assholes yelling insults at me out of cars, and my own friends accusing me of stealing food.

I was at most "curvy" (think Catherine Zeta Jones). Now I'm fairly thin, but still curvy. I'm happy for the most part. Has anyone caught this month's Glamour? It's a "body love" issue. Ironically there's a bunch of diet aid ads, one of which is pissing me off. The "before" picture couldn't be heavier than a 4 or a 6. No joke. And please don't hate on the anorexic girls. My best friend just got out of rehab for a serious serious struggle w/ anorexia. She's not one of those bitchy annoying girls who everyone hates. She just grew up in a stressful environment and was expected to be completely perfect. It completely was not her choice. But I'll tell ya... life's too short to starve. Eat!!! Diets come and go, but good food? That lasts. :)

I love my body. I'm 5'5", 145 lbs. of muscle, hips, and booty (not butt.....booty)!! In fact, my booty keeps me in a size 8-10 when my waist and upper body can fit a 6 (think J. Lo in her Fly Girls days). I would eat all day if I could, but I try to be good and work out 2 or 3 times a week to stay toned. I do think that most of it has to do with genetics. My mom and I could be twins--we're the exact same from head to toe.

I have definitely had my days where I've hated my hips, but what woman hasn't. Find your best feature and accentuate it. Don't hide your curves--that's how we can tell women from men. Do what makes you feel good, screw everyone else.

:D

Welcome back Shine:)

Hi James. :)

Re: Guys think
 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Rudey
[B]You girls should all take into account how guys view you.

Well, if you put a skinny girl and a not skinny girl together at the bar, let's take a bet on which one gets hit on first.

Re: Re: Guys think
 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by DZHBrown
[B]The one that's more trashed.

-Rudey
--Bada Bing!

Re: Re: Re: Guys think
 

sad, but true, and I second that!!!

I've seen it waaaaay too many times, if you look easy enough the guys go after you- no matter what you look like- c'mon guys admit it!!

Re: Re: Re: Re: Guys think
 

Yep, happens ALL the time! They also go after whoever has the boobs... and then proceed to talk to the chest. Not that I have personal experience with that though :p (For the record, you can ask any of my friends... I love to make fun of myself for barely having any boobs, it's a running joke :) )

if she edited or deleted it, then why did you have to leave your post yelling at her?

If society were different and women were admired for being heavy, then the normal/plus-size girls would be having a heyday and the skinny chicks would have no dates. In some parts of Africa women will take all sorts of drugs and eat tons of food in order to be slightly more than Rubenesque. And the men think it's sexy. Weird.

Reading through this thread has reminded me of many truths that I would like to share. When I was in college, I hung around "sticks" and always, ALWAYS felt I needed to lose weight. When I look back at old photos, I realize how STUPID I was-I was a normal weight person perhaps even on the lower end of the weight scale. I didn't see what I really looked like. I think many of you are in the same category.

Today, I still carry an image in my mind because I happen to have a "stick" for a sister. The truth of it is, between us, I am more approachable and make an effort to help others feel comfortable.
Likewise, many people comment on how "beautiful" I am...no brag, just a fact. It DOES matter and like Grandma always said, "Pretty is as pretty does." When we walk around thinking
"I'm fat so I'm ugly," we will draw that into our lives. Being skinny does not equate with beauty. Being "fat" does not equate with "ugly".

I saw my daughter gaining weight and I trace it directly to the Internet. I warned her about Freshman 15 and beer (it's the WORST plus it breaks some people out) still, she added a few more pounds. She has dropped a few, but because she is soooooooo endowed, it's hard to notice. Her aunt-the skinny one-says things like "Do you know how many guys she could get if she just lost 20 lbs?" I want to slap her! Yet, she has more guys around than you can shake a stick at because first, she really is beautiful by most standards but more important-she is warm and doesn't know a stranger. She also is a rarity in the sense that her morals are cemented in her religious beliefs. Her close friend is anorexic... She has had similar things happen/said to her BY OTHER GIRLS as Shine and DeltaSigStan have described. Take into account that her struggle is no where near what many have described on this thread. So, the facts-
You're not as "fat" as you think
Carriage matters
Girls are harder on girls
Stop trying to shop in the Juniors
Believe, REALLY BELIEVE in your own beauty
Cut down your Internet time and the beer/alcohol
When skinny people get older, their face hardens
Real men fall in love with real women
Rubens had it right!
The Three Graces by Peter Paul Rubens

http://www.abcgallery.com/R/rubens/rubens49.html

Charities (called in Latin Graces) ancient Greek divines for beauty, grace and artistic inspiration, and perhaps also, in their earliest form, of powers of vegetation. They are generally said to be tree sisters called Euphrosyne, Thalia and Aglaea. Their father was Zeus, mother either Eurynome, or Hera. They are usually depicted as naked girls embracing at each other. They frequently accompany Apollo, Athena, Aphrodite, Eros and Dionysus.

I'm sorry I offended you. If you knew me, you would know that I not the type of person who would intentionally offend anyone. But that's the point, nobody does know me because this is simply a message board where people type things, and sometimes what they type is taken completely out of context, which is exactly what happened with me. I was NOT trying to be offensive, and I apologize if I came off that way, but what I said was taken out of context. I deleted that post because I thought about it and I was like, well if people got offended by my other posts then they certainly would be offended by that one. I just didn't know it was okay to bash some people on GC but not others. And I was certainly NOT bashing anyone. I was trying to point out the BRIGHT SIDE for you all. But what I said was taken completely out of context, and I can't help the fact that some people are going to misinterpret things... that's just the way life is.

You have no idea how hurt I am by your post, because nothing upsets me more than when I make an attempt to be nice and then people bitch at me about it. I also can't stand when people tell me I don't have a right to speak my mind. Note that I'm not the only "skinny" person who has posted on this thread. I have a right to defend myself, so that's what I'm doing in this post. I never set out to hurt anyone... never have and never will. So I hope you understand that I am sorry, but that I did not mean anything the way you took it.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Guys think
 

Actually . . . NO! I have never gone after a girl that was less than at least somewhat above average on a generally accepted aesthetic scale.

I usually ignore the less attractive easy ones. *shrug* Why bother?

I don't get beer goggles. I get beer brain. I care less and less how inane the chatter from the girl might be the more I drink lol.

However, what MSSTCY1 said is true for most guys I know.

Re: Guys think
 

I definately think that guys view me the way I view me... cos there is NO ONE interested in me in Clarion/Pittsburgh

It was that issue that sparked this thread. And the fact that I am kinda depressed about my weight

Im sick of weighing 150 I have tried for the past year to get back to 140 or 145. Im not asking alot. I did lose 15 lbs in Septmeber, but that was cos I was depressed and didnt eat (boy issues) and I went from 160 to 145. But now Im back at 150. Ive been at 150 since I was a senior in HS, and I dont want to hear any of the "Maybe thats the weight your body wants to be at" siht either. I dont think Im healthy. I want to get rid of my stomach. I dont mind my boobs or even my butt. I just want to not have to worry about looking bad in cute shirts or having to adust all the time. Even when I was in my dance rep class (its just like being in a company, we create a 15 min peice for the dance concert) and exercizing like a mo-fo (500 sit ups, 100 pushups on a light day...), was in colorguard and had bronchitits really bad... I didnt budge from 150 or lose any weight in my middle.

I hate when I go home and people are like "You lost weight, you look good" I ask how they can tell and they say "Oh your face" well yea, maybe my face is losing weight, but Im not anywhere else.

And it doesnt help that my one friend is trying to recover from years of bulemia and anorexia and she keeps making comments like "108lbs, Im so fat" and I say "yea try 150..."


And my roomie has the same issues I have, I am smaller than her, but shes also taller and has a bigger frame. And I cant stand it when I just want to use my god given right as a woman and complain about my weight and shes like "Oh then I must be huge if youre fat" No... Im saying that I am fat for my body... not saying that if I weighed this and was in your body that I would be fat.

Oh and heres the kicker: I am too big for stores like Abercrombie and Hollister... yet too small for stores like Lane Bryant.

Where the hell am I going to get cute clothes?


SORRY THAT I KEEP VENTING... this is good therepy

Misses clothes dont fit me right, Ive tried! I need to have lower cut jeans because having pants touch my belly button freaks me out. And I also need the odd sizing and the juniors cut...

Not weird at all. It's just a different cultural lens. And in fact, you can see this pattern of preferring Rubenesque-type women among African Americans. :cool:

I know many people from Africa and the Caribbean. They have told me that they embrace more curvaceous figures because they have experienced times of great famine which resulted in starvation and death. Fuller figures look healthier when compared to that experience.

Try not to let your weight dictate the way that you feel about yourself. I have a friend who lost 65 pounds. She said that she lost the weight when she was ready not when other people were ready. She joined Weight Watchers and began to work out regularly. She slowly and permanently lost the weight. She still watches what she eats and continues to exercise. Her weight loss was the result of lifestyle changes including accepting her body and herself.

shopping
 

Have you tried the misses selections at different stores? This is the stinker-
If you are a larger size (OR TALL!!!) you end up paying a LOT more for your clothes if you want to be "stylish".

It's pretty hard when you aren't a popular size, but there are ways around it. You have to get creative. If you go one size up and make some of your own tucks or plunges, you get the look of a more expensive outfit. Also, a tailored look is much more becoming than frills. Determine what is the worst and what is the best. I have noticed tummies or arms can ruin "the look". The stretch tops draw attention to the wrong parts. There are so many wonderful examples in movies or award shows where writers/directors/actresses/actors of all sizes appear and look fantastic. Study them and see how they have taken a fad and adjusted it to them.

I was watching Princess Diaries last night. Julie Andrews no longer has the body of her youth, but boy was she elegant
in every scene. Now put that against Cher...I'd rather look like Julie Andrews any old day. Please, I know it FEELS like this helps,
but don't repeat the message to yourself. Instead of saying
I look horrible or something negative, look at your eyes and say
"DAMN, my eyes make me sexy." Or "My legs are wonderfully curvy". I deeply, repeat, DEEPLY believe if we let a negative thought enter our mind, like a magnet, that is what we draw to us.
For one week, choose to state every single thought in a positive light...then PM me. PLEASE?

Sorry to offend you with my ball comment. I was just making it clear that I know my limits to what I can and can't do before my appearance starts to alter. I work very hard to look the way I do, and I will not be ashamed by it. I understand that overweight people work out and eat healthy also. But people also need to understand that everyone will think and say what they want, so you can either be offended by it or continue to live your life as you were. I could give two craps about what people think about me or say about me. I know how I feel about myself, and I know what I think looks good. Everyone in this world is different, and that is how we were made to be.

I am not trying to offend anyone by what I said. Generally, I am the person sticking up for the overweight person getting made fun of. It's not cool to be made fun of for any type of reason. Everyone have a good day and stop worrying what others think.

Amen to that! :D

Oh AngelPhiSig, I know how you feel.

I feel that way everyday, and as a big girl, (you can see...I've posted my picture on the yahoo group) I struggle everyday with body weight, body image, an eating disorder and depression. I know how exactly how it feels but I don't want to be on here saying skinny people, you don't know how it is...because you don't, but that's not what this is about. We're just trying to vent some anger, sadness, frustration, whatever, and here is a good place to do it.
I having been reading this thread since this morning and all I did was cry.
However, I don't want to talk about my weight and my issues because all it will do is upset me. Instead I have a poem I would like to post.


If you can't be a highway, just be a trail;
If you can't be the sun, be a star
For it isn't by size that you win or you fail-
Be the best of whatever you are.
--Douglas Mallock


I hope it will make some of us feel better.

Pi Phi Love and Mine,

Emily

Most people don't know how hurtful it is to have people ask if you have anorexia or something wrong with you.
When I was a senior in high school my guidance counselor called my parents to make sure everything was OK because some girls thought I was too skinny. It was nice that they cared about me, but it was very hurtful. It made me very self conscious about things I wore cause I didn't want to look to skinny.

Thanks Steeltrap:) I was thinking the same thing myself. I am the same size as Angelphisig and although I try to watch my diet and work out regularly, I am very happy with myself. I think that body perception is a cultural difference. As a matter of fact, I think that I don't have bump in my trunk and I wouldn't mind having more hips.

okay, just want to say that this was great. I have been heavy since i was very young, and I love this poem. Here is something one of my sisters has, I thought it would be nice to share something along the same wavelength.... I'm sure MANY of you have seen it before though:

"When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it’s suppose to be
And I know my creator didn’t make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my Lips, my eyes, I’m loving what I see"

It always makes me smile :)

You are so right on that one, most people DON'T know how much that hurts. For the longest time, my own parents were convinced I was anorexic and threatened to take me to a rehab center! :eek: It sucks when people think there's something seriously wrong with you, when there isn't.

Seriously y'all, if you have never anything close to fat, you cannot compare the two. If you have never been fat, you have no idea what it's like. I've been called fat as a joke, I've been called too skinny in all seriousness, and being called fat hurts five hundred times more even when I know it's a joke. Already we've had one girl admitting to this thread making her cry because it made her feel self-conscious about how much she weighed . . . how many of you complaining about being too skinny can say the same?

Here's why the two can't be compared:

People associate anorexia with extreme self-control and willpower. Many, many teenage girls ADMIRE those who are anorexic. (How many of us have heard someone say, "I wish I could be anorexic just for a couple weeks, just so I could lose like ten or fifteen pounds"? Or "I wish I had the willpower to be anorexic"? And even if you haven't . . . I have, from many many girls.) If you don't believe me, just put the term "pro-anorexia" into the google search box and see what you come up with. And most people are willing to accept the fact that anorexia is a disease, not a habit that people do because they WANT to.

Overweight people, on the other hand, are regarded as lazy slobs -- regardless of the the fact that they may exercise more and eat better than many slim people. Plus, the majority of people out there believe that fat people are fat because they are too lazy to do anything but sit around watching TV and eating fried chicken -- that if they were really trying, they could lose the weight. This is definitely not true for a lot of people. And almost nobody, except those who are very familiar with eating disorders, considers compulsive overeating a disease, despite the fact that most compulsive eaters have about as much control over their disease as anorexics do.

So, for those of you that are offended by it when people call you anorexic, why? It's not an attack on your character, the way calling somebody a "fat a**" is, because the connotations with each word are completely different.

And if being skinny is such a terrible thing, why are SO many women going to such drastic lengths (anorexia, bulimia, diet pills, compulsive overexercise, you name it) to be thin, despite knowing the risks to their health? Why are almost NO women, aside from a small subsection of the population (bodybuilders and fat fetishists), trying to get significantly bigger despite risks to their health?

And I don't think any of you skinny girls mentioned that you had ever actively tried to gain weight. Sure, you might have tried overeating for a couple days, or even weeks. But you would have to overeat your usual amount of calories by at least 500 calories a day for three months straight just to gain twelve pounds. Have any of you bothered to do that, or to follow any sort of significant weight training program to gain weight -- I'm not talking about occasional bicep curls with the ten pound weights in the gym, I'm talking about real weight training? Until then, I don't think y'all have much space to be complaining. No more right to complain, in fact, than those who legitimately DO fulfill the "fat" stereotype, sitting around eating all day eating, and then complaining about how people treat them differently because they're fat and how they hate being fat.

Not to mention the fact that someone conveniently made you guys your own thread, so you can discuss the trials of being thin in there. ;)

Wow. I can't beleive how indignant all the skinny women in this thread have gotten.

There is one main difference between the experiences of overweight people and the experiences of very thin people.

If a friend or family member asks you if you're anorexic, it's out of genuine concern for your health and is not intended to hurt you.

When some jerk frat guy walking by me in the Student Union mutters "fat ass" under his breath to amuse himself and all of his brothers, there is no concern there for my health. It's out of complete malice and with the intent to hurt me.

For the record, I knew that jerk and his companions were frat guys because they were all wearing shirts with their letters on them.

I'm by no means trivializing the experience and frustration of having people assume you're anorexic when you're not. I'm sure that is very hard.

But that doesn't mean you can identify with the experience of an overweight person at all.

In fact, I'd take the experience of someone expressing genuine concern for my health over genuine insults any day.

So there's nothing wrong with being fat. Just like there's nothing wrong with being short or tall, or black or brown. These are facts of identity that cannot and should not be changed. They are birthright. They're beyond aesthetics. They provide the diversity we need to survive.

Fat people are not, by definition, lazy or stupid. People who believe in such stereotypes, however, are.

Because fat or thin, straight or gay, male or female, we have all at some point wasted our precious moments on the planet worrying about how we look.

Screw that!

I don't think this needed to turn into some huge debate. Even though we all have different points of view, I think we can ALL agree that that was not the point of this thread.

One of the most intelligent posts so far :)

(I was never "indignant" by the way ;) )

I hope this can shed some light on understanding racism. Since this is kinda parallel.

My boyfriend and I were discussing this issue a couple days ago, and I actually compared it to race relations. I basically said that skinny people can complain about how they can relate to fat people's problems because they get "discriminated" against too, but it's not the same thing at all . . . much like some white people like to pretend that "reverse discrimination" is as painful as the discrimination that minorities face. :rolleyes:

An interesting analogy.

I've sat on a panel for prejudice and discrimination before. They had people representing whites, minorities, gays, and then "people of size" (I hate that term).

The similarities and parellels are evident, and it was very interesting to be able to discuss and talk about those similarities.

I personally don't discriminate against anyone except by their personal actions. Many people in this world fail to do that.

:)

That's the way to view people, and I wish everyone in the world could do that, because there would be way fewer problems... but unfortunately people don't.

Although I never tried to imply that being skinny was as bad as being... well, not... it is interesting when I think about it and compare that point to my personal experiences with race. I know how hurtful it is to be upset about discrimination against people of your race (hispanic in my case) and have others say things like "oh get over it." It happened in a thread on GC! I was like, you're white so you don't know what it's like... what gives you the right to tell me to get over it???

So when I think about it that way, and think about the way some people have misread my posts and some others' posts, I see where you guys are coming from when you say you can't compare the two. But for the record, I didn't see anyone actually trying to say that being skinny was worse than not being skinny... but I can see how it could have been read that way.

as someone who has always had a "weight issue", i totally understand where most of y'all are coming from.

i have a friend (she's actually an AEPhi) who has an incurable disease that has ravaged her body. she often weights about 60 pounds, but has been doing better lately and now weighs about 90--which is the largest she's ever been. do you know that people who don't know about her disease actually tell her she's getting big????!!!! and now she's worried about gaining too much weight. i could strangle her when i hear her talk about diets. she's finally getting to be a "normal" size and is already worried about the weight. she's still at least 20 pounds underweight.

my point of the story is that many skinny people DO have serious problems gaining weight and making their bodies more healthy. although i will never experience that, i CAN understand that being skinny doesn't make someone happier, healthier or more attractive. often, it's all in the head. people think "if only i can lose 5, 10, 15... more pounds and things will be better, my body will look "perfect". then these people do lose the weight and still aren't happy.

************************
now, for me, i always have tried to lose weight. i THOUGHT i was cutting out the "bad" things from my diet and eating in moderation and couldn't understand why i wasn't losing weight. i thought i was trying really hard but i was fooling myself.

i finally joined weight watchers 5 weeks ago and it was the BEST thing i could ever do!! i can't believe how much i used to eat--almost 3 times what i am allowed to actually lose weight. i'm down 8.4 pounds and have already dropped a dress size. for the first time in my life, i am SUCCESSFUL in losing weight.

for those of you who are serious about losing some weight, i really have to recommend the program. it has done wonders for me already. my mom, sister, aunt and cousin also joined about a month ago and we have lost almost a combined 50 pounds.

continue to seek support from others, even those on this forum. you CAN do it!!!!!

Ohhhh, I feel you on that one. My days of eating unlimited cheesecake are gone, gone, gone...