Thats the biggest bunch of bullhsit I've ever heard. Military people are nothing like police officers unless they're MP. Military people fight wars, defend our country and kill people legally. Cops, on the other hand, don't do any of those three. Cops are those guys in highschool that always wanted to be cool and respected but never got there. Cops think they're the shit and have all the authority because they have their little badge. They think they can do what they want. Military people obey orders and do what they're told. Military people get mad respect their whole lives for serving their country......cops get their pension and sink into oblivion. People want to beat cops up just because they're cops. You never hear lil'thugs or rappers talking about busting a cap on some army people. If the penalites werent so harsh you'd see more cops get their asses kicked than what presently do. COPS would be the number TV show in america if hitting a police officer was treated the same if you hit anyone else. Everyone would watch them get beat down, myself included.





NO, I wouldnt EVER marry someone in the military. The girls in there are dykes anyhow.

I'm in the Army, but I don't think there is any way in hell I would marry someone while I'm in.

What most people don't know is that the divorce rate is ridiculous. One of my fraternity brother's was deployed for 14 months and on return they had new babies waiting for them, wives with boyfriends, or straight out divorce papers waiting on them. I think it ended with like 60-65% either being divorced or cheated on.

Fuck that. Sorry girls-I don't trust any of you.

i just have to say that from the flip side women in uniform are good looking to. I have seen my share of good looking women in uniform. and i would marry a woman in uniform.

I guess it depends on the person, doesn't it? The older I get, the more I realize that some people just fit, no matter what their background.

However, if I could pick the perfect profile of my husband, I wouldn't pick someone who is in the military. Someone who had been in the military, but isn't anymore would be just fine. But, I definately dream of a functional family unit. I want my baby's daddy to be around!

A few months ago, maybe. Now, NO WAY. I hate the war, and, even though I don't hate the soldiers (please don't accuse me of that, my own dad was a vet), I couldn't do it. A girl from my town got married in July, and her husband died Sunday in Fallujah. She's only 19. I don't think I could handle that. I'm not very brave though.

I used to always think - NO WAY IN H*** would I marry anyone in the military. I grew up in a military family (Dad's retired Navy) and understand the lack of communication, constant deployments, and the divorce rate (and this was during "peacetime").

Now, I can't say I'd rule it out. You can't help who you fall in love with (maybe I'm looking at it with rose-tinted glasses?), and their occupation is part of who they are. That being said, I'm not going to go out and hunt down a military man to date and maybe marry, but if that's who I wind up settling down with, then I'd be fine with it. :)

i think i could... i mean if you were really truly honestly in love with these people, why would you throw it away??
i grew up in a militarial background - my uncle was in the marines - and he'd always talk about it - and a good friend of mine at work is active in the Nat'l Guard, and got deployed this summer, so i pretty much have the utmost respect for anyone in uniform..... not to mention they're particularly nice looking :D
so, YES! i could !!

This made me think about a lot of my hometown homies.

It seems like a lot of young men enter the military right before or after marrying their high school sweethearts--and for a lot of 18 year olds, I'm sure it's the ability to provide a comfortable living for a family without having a college education or vocational training that attracts them to the military. Most of them are divorced before they can drink legally.

Yeah, that's part of it.

Especially when the time for deployment comes. Everyone rushes to get married and have kids to leave something behind. Plus, it's very, very difficult to have a comfortable living on an enlisted person's pay, unless both of them are working.

need advice
 

i recently started dating a guy in the army.. a medic at fort drum near watertown, new york. He's being sent to iraq the end of january. we met the beginning of december... i want to be with him- but the thought of him leaving is tearing us apart b/c he doesn't want to hurt me.

i don't know what to do.... i miss him so much already and he's just in illinois visiting family... suggestions...? :(

Re: need advice
 

Sweetheart, he has to go... Period. There is no getting around that... If your 19-28 years old, I would say move on. You have your whole life ahead of you. If you are older than 28 years old, then what do you want to do? Do you want to wait for him? Can you wait for him?

I don't care how you all slice it, in times of war, all military personnel serving on the war front do come back with some issue that is difficult to resolve and see through completely... Can you deal with post traumatic stress disorder? I'm not trying to scare folks, but I am a realist when it comes to war. And most folks in the US never see what's really going down in times of war...

I remember a certain (name of sorority witheld) that stole my heart for a semester or two, who was in ROTC. She looked damn fine in her uniform.

Re: Re: need advice
 

i know what you are saying- and sigh... you are definately right. my best friend just came back from afghanistan/iraq (i forgot to mention this) and he's had serious pts, nightmares, and alcohol problems...(and you are def right to say that not as many people know about the horrors of this war) i've stood by his side- but he's my best friend.... not my boyfriend... i guess i'll just take it day by day- move on and see how things go when he gets back... :(

thanks for the advice though- its a tough situation- i appreciate it

I've dated a guy from each service branch....so apparently I have to problems w/men in uniform, ;)

I guess if I had met a serviceman before meeting my current bf and wanted to marry him, I wouldn't have a problem with it. However, right now I'll my guyfriends are deployed so I'm just taking care of their girlfriends here, so I get enough of the deployment grief.

Shoot, it's hard to have a comfortable living on an officer's pay unless the wife works as well. Most active duty folks I know are two income households, or they live extremely modestly.

When Mr. KR's reserve unit was called up and he had to go to Dubai two years ago, he was an O-4 and I would not have been able to manage if the company he was with at the time hadn't paid us the difference between his Navy and civilian pay.
Well, I could have but it would have meant major cutting back.

I've always felt that the military pays enough to exist on, but not to really live on (if that makes any sense?)

:mad: I'm not :mad:

Way to stereotype.


It's kind of hard for girls who are in this situation and have chosen it for our careers... not many men are willing to follow us around the world at the expense to their own careers. Unless you get lucky and snatch up a good one who really, really loves you :D

it depends.

it's not the danger factor, it's the you're at someone else's beck and call besides ME factor combined with the i've never been good at long distance relationships so i avoid them at all costs factor.

i wouldn't seriously date a guy in the military, but if a guy i was seriously dating decided to join, i'd stick it out to see if it could work.

No.

That would be a really hard thing to do, especially if they move around alot.

I can't imagine what that must be like, especially if they are overseas.

My hat is off!

Wow, I posted this over three years ago.

So now three years later, would I marry someone in the military?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

If I fall in love with someone, he's getting out before we say 'I do.'

Even though this is 3 years old I must respond :)

Amen! They are so hot!!! I personally love marines, because I LOVE their dress uniform.

Holy God!!! I know! They were just incredibly gorgeous in that movie. I love the movie for the historical aspect, but man so many of those actors are just hot!

Very, very true!



Like others have said, if I was in love with him, I wouldn't his job was. Albeit, with the world we live in, I would worry about his safety more, but the same would go for cops or firefighters (who I personally also find gorgeous).

Nope.

I require too much attention and routinization/semi-predictability in terms of the future. I also require spontaneity in a relationship but NOT in the form of "honey, I just found out I'm being sent to Iraq in a couple of months!!!!"

:eek: That's scary.

I think military men are sexy and I particularly love Marines. Dated a couple of FINE ones. But I dated them for fun and not with the goal of becoming attached.

Someone else mentioned "when love comes calling you have to answer." Not really. People should always reserve the ability and right to bow out of situations that make them unhappy or aren't in their best interest. Love or not.

Im dating a military fellow----i agreee with those who say they are sexy hunks---mine is!!

But I love him enough to accept his absences.. so I dnt think its much of a problem.

I agree with you on that. Plus, I think I would be on edge the ENTIRE time he was gone. Not really a nice way to live life.

No, unless they were getting out before we married. I don't want to move around or have him be far away for long periods, plus I don't really find uniformed men that sexy. (Unless it's Marlon Brando in Sayonara. mmmmmm.)

I would say the same thing if he was always away in any job, like a trucker - Dad33 was thinking of doing that and Mom33 said "if you do, tell me goodbye for good." Lots of their friends lived that life for a long time, but I think having the man you love gone so much would just be devastating.

amen to that girl! A Marine in dress uniform still makes me drool (I may be married, but I am SO NOT dead!) :D

But the answer to the question would be yeah I would have married someone in the military. I almost married an Air Force pilot (the dude I was with in college)


But things went a different way :)

I go with the idea that you love who you love.

If I so happened to fall in love with a military man, I would marry him.

I don't think it would be right for me to tell him that I wouldn't marry him because he was military. If that is what he loves doing, then who am I to tell him otherwise, ya know?

Plus I grew up a military brat, so its no big thing to me.

Obviously for me, the answer is a big yes. Of course we started dating even before GEN Alum was a plebe at West Point.....

IDk my roommate is engaged to a Navy man and his schedule makes my head spin, constantly changing, no advanced notice... here two weeks, gone two weeks, gone 6 months , and jsut yesterday she got an E mail saying "Honey I'm going to be gone 6 weeks instead of three." AND she's never even seen him in uniform !!
My best friend from High School is marrying an Army man in a month and has to move to TX, and maybe he will be sent away after that...

IDK I guess if I met a man, and he was THE ONE For me, I'd do it, but I don't really care to share my man with the US government, no matter how good they look in those uniforms... (and they DO look GOOD)

I did marry a Marine...10 years ago. And while he is no longer active duty I certainly identify with some of the military families here since I live between an Army and and AF base...plus a Navy base just a couple hours away.

I find myself secretly thanking my lucky stars when I don't have a husband out in the field any more for weeks on end, at drill or getting ready to deploy yet again to Iraq.

To serve your country as a soldier is an honor and a privelege but it demands much. It is not for the faint hearted and not for the self indulgent. It draws upon the deepest commitment to public service where one literally lays one's life on the line to defend our nation and our people. The conditions are often harsh and the pay is moderate, to say the least. Those who take up this path ask much of themselves and much of those they love. To those who have taken the Oath and served, I salute you. Those who have loved these men and women and followed the difficult path with them giving them strength and support not to weaken in resolve and to share the burden of service, I admire and perhaps revere you. To those whose attitude toward marrying or getting involved with someone in the military is shaped by how hot they look in uniform, I shake my head in disbelief at how shallow you are. To those who couldn't marry a soldier because it would be just too inconvenient to your lifestyle, contempt is a good word, but it really just does not convey the revulsion I feel at your self centered dismissal of those who guarantee your liberty while they lay it all on the line for you.

Well, I am married to a captain in the US Army. We have been together since college 8years ago when he was in ROTC and he told me to count on 20 years, so I went in knowing his commitment level to the military. Only now, with everything going on, his commitment is waning a bit. Two Iraq tours and no for-sure end in sight can wreak havoc on a family. And I think it was valkyrie that posted way back 3 or so years ago about being bleeding-heart liberal-- let's just say now, I've met a lot more people in the Army along that frame of mind than I think were there (or willing to admit) before.

I love my husband deeply and support his every endeavor (and the fact that he's sexy as hayle in ALL of his uniforms definitely helps!, as well as the fact my father is a minister, so I had that moving thing down pat way before my hubby came into the picture :D) But I'm also a Marriage and Family Therapist and work with military families and see that the casualties of war are not just on the battlefield, but on the homefront as well. Affairs, divorces, children not knowing their parents, domestic violence, addictions... it's a very sad state of affairs.

I think for anyone contemplating marriage to the military, the couple needs to go in with eyes wide open and explore all expectations of the relationship. It's the only way for success, because I've seen the proof that love is definitely not enough.

This is a very powerful post.

Nowhere did I, or anyone, ever say that they didn't appreciate the sacrifices the men and the women of the military make for this country and its citizens. They simply said they wouldn't want to marry someone with that lifestyle. That, to me, is better than saying "love conquers all" and naively thinking it's the truth.

One of my exes had a vasectomy at what some would consider a young age. He told me it was because he didn't ever want to be responsible for anyone other than himself. Now, some people might consider that selfish - I consider it supremely the opposite. He knows he wouldn't be happy being tied down with a child, so he's going to do what is best for him and not subject a child to his unhappiness, rather than reproducing just because that's what society tells him to do.

I wouldn't be happy with the military lifestyle. Therefore, I wouldn't marry a man who is committed to it and make both of us miserable.

Get over it. As grown adults we can pick and choose who we want to be involved with based on our expectations and goals.

I feel no need to show my appreciation for the military by marrying a military man. In terms of a life partner, I prefer a different type of man and a different type of family. If you want to be selfless and put your life on the line, as well as on hold, then that's what works for you and yours. It wouldn't work for me and mine.

Exactly.


Too bad love hasn't reduced the nation's divorce rate. Or the nation's domestic violence rate. That's because the factors that contribute to violence and divorce have little to do with "love."

===================

I don't recall singling out you or any other specific GCer in my post. I stated my opinion. I believe the gist of my comment was that the military lifestyle, while admirable and honorable, is a tough row to hoe, and is certainly not for everyone. I do admire those who do choose to love and support the men and women of the fighting forces because it is such a difficult path to follow.
I have no problem with those who upon reflection conclude that such a path is not for them. However, I do not admire those who approach the question with shallowness, and I do not admire those who reject the possibility on the basis of inconvenience.
You are certainly entitled to your opinion, just as I am entitled to mine, and mine stands as written.

You don't have to single anyone out. You were clearly stating an opinion of some of the opinions you read in this thread. Since we're all entitled to opinions, we're stating our opinions of your opinion.

No one is seeking your admiration.

Would you marry a woman who weighs 300 pounds?