I just had to chime in here and say that what Juniorgrl said was adorable. I think that's what we're all looking for, someone who makes us feel more powerfull and wonderfull.

I just happened to have a round table discussion about this topic at the bar last night. What we concluded was that sure, you have to be in the mindset of wanted to find the right person but it has to be subconsious rather than actively questioning if every guy you meet is 'the one.' Also, everyone pretty much has a checklist on what they're looking for and it's as much about the right timing as knowing a good thing when you see it.

While timing is a factor in things, I don't think that people should break up simply because of a major change (going to college, grad school, etc.) If that were the case, Boy and I would have given up long ago, when we graduated from HS. Or we could have done it recently when we graduated from college.

I was definitely looking for "the one" when we met. I figured it would be a HS thing and that would be it. But the more we got to know each other, the more we realized that this was something amazing.

Just because someone is "the one" doesn't mean that the relationship doesn't require work. In fact, I think that those require *more* work, simply because you know they are so right, that you're willing to fight tooth and nail to keep it.

We've often lamented that it would have been so much better had we met later on - it gets to be quite stressful to date someone for half a decade, and know that there is still another 2 years before getting married. But, we just kind of figure that it becomes a part of the fabric of our relationship and that in the end, it all works out for the best - that we took the time to get our educations before getting married, that we're making sure that we're financially stable, etc.

ttt

Looking back on this thread like 6 years later (WOW), I still feel about the same way, but want to add one thing:

Many people use the concept of "THE ONE" (or, rather, the feelings they believe they should 'have' or 'feel' when they meet "THE ONE") as a reason to find fault in otherwise fine relationships, or as an excuse when they get scared that a relationship has progressed to a point of uncomfortable decisions.

That's really the genesis of my feeling that the concept is a cop out a lot of the time.

It's also a convenient reason to exclude people from the dating pool, which is often a sign of social discomfort or fear - after all, we all have this concept of who "THE ONE" is in our mind's eye, however silly that may be.