Odds of CG giving Dan Campbell good advice on how to beat the Bears this week: 0%

Odds of CG giving Dan Campbell intentionally bad advice in an effort to sabotage the Lions: 100%

Tangent BTW, have you seen Dan Campbell's adorable Yorkie? He's a big dog lover. You should be nice to him, but also give him advice to get his dog a travel crate, because he's one of those lap dog drivers, which I really, really wish people wouldn't do!!

Yep! We talked about his dog. I gave him coaching and vet advice. He was so appreciative.

So, Vanity Fair interviewed me about all the calls I’ve been getting from a lot of coaches from different teams, asking for coaching advice. You can read the article about my conversation I had with Daniel in the next issue of Vanity Fair. :)

https://i.postimg.cc/zDyMzhGr/IMG-8170.jpg

LOVE IT!!!

Do they put coaches on Wheaties boxes?

Omg! Yes! How’d you know? Did you buy a box of Wheaties without telling me, Sciencewoman? Thanks for your purchase. Maybe someday you can coach an NFL team too. Work hard, keep eating your Wheaties and your NFL dreams will come true. :)

I swear, I’ve gotten famous overnight. Everyone just calls me Coach now.

https://i.postimg.cc/T29zJKrv/IMG-8185.jpg

Actually, I hate Wheaties. But good for you!

So, what are your celebrity endorsements going to be? Dog food would be good.

Or Domino's Pizza? I'd say that one is a hard no.

lol
It’s so many, I lost track.

Hmm. You must be getting tired holding down multiple jobs. That was a lame come-back, lol.

LMAO! Why does dude’s face look like he just got cussed out by the team owner, got his job threatened, so he called CG as a last resort to save his job? CG, you’re a trip LOL

Multiple jobs is such an understatement. I mean, with all the interviews lately, my vet career, my coaching career, and my family life, I’m super exhausted. It’s too much to post, but if you really want to know, you can read about it in this issue of People magazine. I swear, I thought I totally bombed that interview.

https://i.postimg.cc/pXLGV4D8/IMG-8182.jpg

lol
That’s exactly what happened, Phrozen. How’d you know?

LMAO! I hollered! So you interviewed for people magazine too, huh LOL. I don’t understand why y’all are over here trippin and hating on Axe Body spray. It’s not that bad.

More jealousy.

——————————————————-> Corner. :)

LOL!

What’s up with your boy, Coach CG? LOL! Dude been throwing interception after interception and sack after sack.

I didn’t coach tonight. O’Connell did.

At least you're not claiming you guest-coached the Lions for their big win.

Nope. I mean, the NFL doesn’t allow that. Remember when Daniel called me for coaching advice? Well, that’s how your Lions got their “big win”. So, you and Daniel should be thanking me. :)

Blue Boy is out hurt again. He’s trash. I mean, we should just get a dumpster and tell him to jump in it.

How about those Browns y’all?

Stunning :eek:

(Green Bay had better watch out for Da Bears this season)

The Bears didn't Bears it up in the second half!

It’s his first full time season. Not all college to NFL players adjust to the top level the same.

How could Dallas lose against Chicago? Chicago? Chicago?

Browns visiting the Lions today, Phrozen! You watching? It looks like it's going to be a good game with your defense vs our offense.

CG wants us both to lose, lol.

The Bills improved to 4-0!

LOL!

I already knew Cleveland wouldn’t stand a chance against Detroit. Y’all got a good team all around, plus a coach who’s played the game and was good when he did play. That’s a win win. Cleveland hasn’t been good since Jim Brown. But I’m still keeping the faith Lol.

Oh GAWD! I swear, explaining a playbook to Dan Campbell nearly broke me. I’m like, “Daniel… this circle is the quarterback… and this squiggly line means run, Daniel, run.” And then he’s like scratching his head so hard I thought he was looking for the answer up there somewhere. He was totally lost after the cover page. Absolutely hopeless. I finally told him, “No juice box until you get it right, Daniel.”

https://iili.io/KG0tiOP.md.jpg

LMAO! Let me get this straight “Coach CG”, if Campbell doesn’t know how to read and execute plays, how is he whooping ass and taking names? and WTF is wrong with dude’s hair? LOL! Is that a glitch or something?

LOL, that is NOT his hair! Unless he's scratched it off while wondering why CG is giving him coaching advice.

LMAO! I think when CG created the image it caused a glitch and knowing CG, she liked the glitch it made and posted it LOL

Crazy how far technology has come to looking identical to real people.

Nope, not at all. I can explain.

Not only is it crazy, it’s creepy, lol. But it’s hilariously fun! :p

So…. Daniel asked me how much I charge for haircuts. I told him $5 bucks. You guys… I tried, I really did. I mean, I started cutting it low, then I just kept cutting it higher and higher because I had no idea what I was doing? Then I grabbed the clippers, put the setting too low, panicked, and then went higher again, and at that point I was just winging it. I was like “OH….MY….GAWD, I think I just butchered Dan’s hair.” I swear, it looked like a lawnmower accident. So, I was just like… I can’t. I just can’t. So, I dropped the scissors and after like 3 hours of him in the chair, I was like, “You know what, Daniel? I think we’re done here…. that’ll be $5 bucks.”


Earlier that day…

https://iili.io/KMKxu4f.md.jpg



And then…

https://iili.io/KMFPgGR.md.jpg



And then…..


https://iili.io/KMKI9fa.md.jpg

Oh, and I forgot to answer your question, Phrozen. Honestly? The only reason why Detroit is winning is because I really broke the playbook down into like crayon language for him. I swear, he was totally gone after the cover page. Now he’s winning, and yes, as you can see, proudly rocking the $5 haircut I gave him.

Multitasking queen right here guys. :)

Just don't add a pet grooming side business onto your vet practice. You'd lose a lot of patients/clients.

LMFAO!!!!! I hollered! I’m weak y’all. I’m weak! I’m over crying LMAO! Why is dude holding a pair of scissors and his own hair? Makes no sense LMAO!

Funny you mentioned that, because there is a pet spa attached to my clinic, lol.

Hahahahahaha 👏

Yoohoo, Phrozen Sands. Did you watch the game today? :)

CG also stands for Chronic Gloater.

lol
More jealousy. :)