Re: Shine
 

Actually, I didn't mind your post at all, except that I thought it was written by the same person that wrote me that nasty PM. If that was the case, I thought it was quite hypocritical. But alas, you have explained that it wasn't you, and I'm cool with it.

You are correct. This is the best place to come for help in these situations. I'm sorry that my post made you feel bad. It was really a response to the PM I got from your other sister under your name.

I personally highly recommend rushing panhellenic. I would do it myself, if it weren't for the fact that I'm graduating soon. However, it will hurt the feelings of a lot of OPA members, and possibly burn bridges of friendship and communication betwen you and them.

Last spring, for fun, I went to a COB party at one of the socials here. I wanted to explore that whole dynamic, and if I ended up finding the sisterhood that I felt OPA was lacking, I was gonna join. But, the next week I decided not to go to COB parties anymore, and ended up on LOA in OPA because I was so stressed and busy. Then, in the middle of the semester, OPA asked me to be webmaster, and I accepted the job. Then I was asked to run for the position of PR chair, because PR is also in-charge of the website.

Well, when it came time for the speeches, and Q&A, I got REAMED OUT. Apparently everyone thought I went LOA so I could rush the socials, because they had heard about how I went to a COB the week before I submitted my LOA papers.

Later on I heard that when they had discussion before the vote, I was called a traitor and everyone had a basic diss session about me.

All of that was the beginning of a lot of drama that ultimately led me to disassociate this Fall.

But, if you TRULY have the time, money, and heart to rush panhel, and you aren't worried about what the girls in OPA will think about it, I say go for it.

Thanks Shine! You've really helped. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who's had a bad experience with OPA. Feel free to PM me anytime you need to vent. :)

I would like to point out to everyone, and I'm sure OPAGal will agree, that OPA is not a bad organization. They are a small national organization that is still trying to build tradition and that is a hard process. Each chapter is drastically different than the next. It's main focus is service, but some chapters do sisterhood stuff, and other's don't.

You definatley have to be a certain stock of person to stick with a sorority like OPA for 2 or 3 years, but if it's the sorority for you, it's a wonderful thing.

But, at least as far as my chapter is concerned, OPA has a high drop out rate, because it is hard to be in a sorority that demands such high service, while not having a lot of sisterhood.

This was not the only reason I disassociated, it was only one of many.

I think OPA can be a good thing for the right person, but that person is not me.

Shine, I tried to figure out but couldn't - what is LOA?

As a member of a service fraternity, I hate to think that any service org would get upset about its members rushing IFC/Panhel (or participating in any other group for that matter). Our chapter went through cycles where everyone would be IFC/Panhel in addition to APO, and then it would go into an opposite cycle where if you wanted to rush IFC/Panhel you would get ragged on for it.

basically, if your service group is only providing service and not brotherhood/sisterhood, no one can be pissed if you want to find it somewhere else. Can't have your cake and eat it too.

Let me say that OPA is defintely not a bad organization. I love the girls in my chapter. Fortunately, I belong to a chapter that does a lot of sisterhood events. I've thought about rushing panhel on my campus, and had intended to until I decided that I would devote my time in college to help my chapter grow. I think OPA's rushing panhel sororities is a great thing. Good luck OPAGal!

BTW, I got your pm. You've got to be an amazing girl! Don't get discouraged!

The exact same thing happened to me...

I joined a service sorority first because I thought it was the "same thing" and found out that I just plain out didn't fit in. I faked it for a while, even held an office, but then started dating a fraternity boy who saw how unnaturally unhappy I actually was, and he encouraged me to rush...

...Don't worry about people looking down on you because you joined a service sorority first. The thing is, part of what sororities do IS service. And if they are going to cut you for that, anyway, you don't want to be in their sorority, because it's not what you are. I don't think anyone looked down on me because I was in a service sorority first. I explained to people that I had wanted the sisterhood, but I had wanted to go through it with someone else, and a bunch of the girls on my hall were doing this service sorority (by the way, all 4 of the girls on my hall who did it with me rushed, and 2 of us went DG, 1 went Kappa, and the other ended up dropping out of rush but has a completely new life and my roommate was in the service sorority with me and she ended up going DG, too).

I'm glad that I went through formal recruitment. It allowed me a chance to be in a sorority that I FIT in. I got to look at 10 sororities and meet tons of girls and figure out exactly where I fit best, and I get to do all of this service within the sorority. It's everything that I wanted. (Plus, mixers are a pretty big perk that I couldn't enjoy in a service sorority)

thanks Laura, my bloodstream is about 75% cough meds right now, so brain is not too chipper. :p

CarolinaDG our stories really sound alike. And don't get me wrong OPA would be a great group for someone who cares nothing about sisterhood. I personally though thought that if you called you self a sorority that sisterhood would be naturally important to you. I guess I was wrong.

UPDATE: No word yet on anymore COB parties. I think a lot of chapters are really busy this week next week is homecoming. I will be attending homecoming with my boyfriend and his fraternity so maybe I can get some good conections while I'm there. If I have to wait till next semester or formal rush I'll be fine, but I just want to get to know some of the girls and what each sorority is really all about.

Sorry this is so long...
 

I just want to make sure everyone knows that there are chapters of OPA where sisterhood is VERY important, my chapter being one of them. I've gotten fairly close to the girls in my chapter just in the past month. I can call any one of them up and they'll be here in a split second. The actives call me often to see how I am, if I want to hang out, to see how my day's been, etc. Our pledge class is extremely close. (One of them is my roommate.) We try and have sisterhood events at least every other week. On top of that, we have our service projects, we spend time together outside of sorority events/meetings, and I have the BEST big sister in the world. We have a small chapter, so maybe it's just easier for us than it is for the larger ones. Although that's kind of hard for me to believe with the huge sororities having such awesome sisterhoods themsleves. We don't have any girls who are in social sororities (by their own choice), but when I brought up the possibility of rushing the NPC sororities, the local or the Christian sorority in addition to OPA, they were 100% behind me and even encouraged me. (I haven't rushed the NPC, local or Christian sororities yet. Verdict's still out on that one...)
If the majority of the women in a chapter don't like each other, or aren't committed to OPA, of course there isn't going to BE anything resembling sisterhood.

OPAGal, I hope that your sisters that have hurt you and your little can see where they've been wrong and can fix it. I hate to see people misrepresenting the sorority I've come to love so quickly. You're in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope you find a group that offers you the sisterhood you deserve and will be at home in!

Oh, don't get me wrong, either. There are plenty of girls who actually stuck with it and love it, but it just wasn't for me. And mine was different in that it wasn't the sisterhood that was missing from the sorority... I didn't feel like I fit in with the sisterhood, but it was there... rather, I didn't feel like there was enough service going on. Let's face it, there are 9 sororities on campus, which means 9 philanthropy events that we participate in (well, actually, 7 because tri-delt and ADPi open theirs up to only fraternities) plus Sigma Chi's Derby Days, Pi Kapp's PUSH America, Sig Ep's Car Wash for Cancer, and Lambda Chi's MS Walk. And that's just what we do with the sorority. There are also tons of chances that come up around campus and off campus. I didn't feel like there was enough service in the service sorority for that to be the point of sticking with it. Especially comparing it to how much I do with DG.

Anyway, my point is, people can have good experiences in these sororities, but it just wasn't for me.

Carolina DG,

What service sorority was it? I'm just being nosey.

OPAGal, I hope that everything works out for you. You should find a sorority home that you can get a more positive experience from. Even though I'm in a service sorority right now, I would tell any of my sisters the same thing (after trying to work things out first, of course). Being Greek is about being happy in your choice, no matter if it's service, social or whatever.

Good Luck!!