I just got around to reading the last few msgs on this thread..




Violets, this was beautifully said.

I think it is very important for GCers to be supportive with more than just a plug for our own house. Most of us have something in our board names or signature files...so unless something more substantial is posted, then why bother? Sure, it's nice to see a plug, but like everyone else, I felt it was irritating to scroll through 50 "go [GLO]" to get to the juicy bits! (and seeing as how there were so many PNMs rushing at my alma mater, I was VERY VERY interested..)

I also question the practice of collegiate members PMing a PNM who is rushing at their school. I know there is no way we can find out, but I think it is our duty here to make sure the PNMs know that they should not really be PMing back & forth with active sorority members from their school. There's no way to tell if "dirty rushing" is going on...but why take that risk?

And of course, collegiate sorority members should know better.

(hmm..perhaps I should've made this last idea a thread of its own?! Maybe it should be stated when rush rolls around again, since many of the GCers here now might not be around then.)

I met a really nice girl (after the week of rush) that I liked alot, that I met when she pmd me to ask if I had joined a sorority. I would have missed this chance if she hadn't.

let us resolve to say
 

What I read is that we all for the most part agree that when reading a thread about rush that we really don't need to see 40 good lucks in there. I know that we all are hoping for the best for the PNMs and that we as a greek society really do hope for the best. So can we please agree to stop adding plugs for our groups, whether we are just saying hello or good luck, just say no.

Two: I don't think that any of this can be misconstruded as infraction material because this is a board for greeks. If this were to become a problem then I feel that we would have to ask the PNMs to kindly not post and that would be going too far. It would be like having an alcoholic go into a bar, and because that person is an alcoholic everyone in the room would have to stop drinking so as not to influence that one person. But I don't think that we should influence that person to have a drink either.

Three: Let us resolve to not post on a rush board, if the person posting is a PNM ( I know that this summer there was a rush board and I think it was mainly from the mother's information, not the PNM's). I think that asking questions is okay, like what was the theme, if the pnm didn't add that or what events are happening when but don't ask what was thought of each group and how would you rank each group. If the PNM offers that info then so be it but don't go looking for it.

So to clarify: 1. Let it be understood that we wish all PNM's best wishes and that they follow their hearts and guts when making their decisions and that it all works out for the best.
2. This is a GREEK CHAT BOARD, we don't hide who we are because of the PNM's (hidding being the sigs and screen names)
3. We allow the PNM's to have a thread of their own, where we won't ask invading questions or opinion questions. Just the facts, please.

I just thought to pull the majority of the opinions together.

I disagree with GtownGirl98 in part... as a PNM, I would have loved to start up a rush thread and come back to find 40 good lucks. The "Go XYZ" shameless plugs aren't necessary, but to me, a "good luck" is just that - "Good luck from a member of XYZ".

Not too long ago, a PNM shared her rush story and told us how crushed she was when she received only one pref invite to a sorority she wasn't crazy about. She was ready to drop out of rush. Many of us encouraged her to go to pref anyway - and she's now a happy new member of that sorority. If she had not shared her story and we had not encouraged her to go for it, this might very well not have happened. How can that be a bad thing?

So, no, I don't think we need to do away entirely with replying to PNMs' rush threads - as long as we're careful with what we say, and don't get PNMs' hopes up about our particular sororities.

Well, how about sending private messages, instead of posting it on the PNM's thread?

And, not that I want to bring more work to the mods, but how about deleting those "good luck" msgs individually when they are posted to a rushee's thread?

I totally understand where both GtownGirl98 and aephi alum are coming from, but it DOES get out of hand..

On many other message board systems I have been on, 1-2 line replies are really frowned upon - if you don't have anything substantial to say, then don't say it.

One thing-If I were a PNM and started a thread that didn't get some feedback, I'd feel silly. I might think no one cared or was interested. We need to post SOME kind of reply to show we care about her and her experience. Whatever the guidelines, I'll stick with what the majority deems appropriate.

Personally, I think that this would not only be more work for the mods but also more of a chance for people to say "go my sorority" without anyone but the PNM seeing it.

I think the easiest solution is to continue wishing the PNMs good luck without any comments about our own organizations. If "shameless plugs" are included, then mods should edit them.

I am one of the ones who sees no harm in the ubiquitous shameless plug but I do disdain PMs because if your PM box is full and you don't know it is full and someone PMs you, then the PM is gone forever because your box is full....so I so NO to PMs instead of a good luck on a rushee's post -- personally I get heartened seeing all the good wishes and good lucks -- it truly does embody the Panhellenic spirit IMHO and inspries me to strive to be less 'xenophobic' about my own sorority!

Sorority Chants
 

At recruitment events, don't most sororities do some song or cheer that says, "Go XYZ"? I know we would cheer about ADPi and had some songs that said "Go ADPi". I don't see how those songs are any different than saying "Go ADPi" on the boards. I agree that if you are on a campus and some on of the PNM's from your campus posts, DO NOT RESPOND. However, if a sister from another campus or an Alumnus posts, what is wrong with that. I think we also need to look at the disadvantage chapters have through postings of PNMs. What if there is a PNM who the entire sorority loves and she posts that she is having doubts about the sorority. The decision of the sorority may be swayed. She may not be invited to another event because the sorority wants to make sure to save the places for people who might bid. But what if the PNM was venting and may have made the connection with the sorority at the next event. I have to agree with the post that said this is GreekChat. It was founded as a place for existing members to share ideas and fraternal bonding. Don't get me wrong, I think it is great that PNM's are visiting the site and learning more about Greek life. I think it means that they are making more educated decisions are more likely to stay with the group the join. I still think they (along with everyone) need to keep in mind that this site has a lot of people from different groups represented. It is also possible that people will post on the site under false pretenses. It is just like anything you read on the Internet, get more facts than what is here before making any firm decisions.

Just my 2¢

I have a friend who will be rushing at a college in California in the fall. I asked her to please register here on GreekChat, and to keep us posted on the details. I also told her that, while I would be absolutely thrilled to call her a sister, I will not force my sorority down her throat. Why? Because I don't know the sisters on that campus, and I don't know how my friend & the chapter will "gel". As an alumna, my job is to send a rec, keep her spirits up, and hope for the best.

I would hope that, if she were to say that ADPi is in her list of choices, I could still say something encouraging. But I think we also need to think Panhellenically, too! I would rather she choses a chapter she loves rather than not go greek at all.

Isn't that what GreekChat is all about?

honeychile

Ok, so this is my first post on this board after stumbling across you guys on my school's go greek page. After reading this thread, I think it's great that you guys don't feel it neccessary to pressure girls into thinking your sorority is the only choice, and you are actually trying to take measures to prevent that. I will be rushing this fall, all by myself, and knowing that I can come here and talk with out any pressure is very helpful. Since I don't have anyone rushing with me at home, I'll probably be sharing a lot on the boards. So anywho, nice to meet you all!! ;)

How sweet of you, AZpinkkittie! I rushed alone, too, but became close with my Rho Chi group.

I'm surely not the only one here who hopes that you DO start a rush thread, and keep us posted on a day to day basis!!

I rushed alone, too, intending to become close with my rush group and then drop out of rush .....

when, S U R P R I S E !!! This whole sorority thing is full of women who want to be ..... friends? So I started with my pledge sisters... then moved on to the entire chapter.... and then to sisters nationwide on my org.'s website..... and now I'm on greekchat and can't even keep everyone's sorority straight.

Entering rush alone is the BEST way to make sure you will never ever EVER be alone again! Now if I could only get my own bathroom....

I intended to rush with my roommate last year, wasn't able to, and will be rushing alone this year! I'm psyched - The best way to meet new people is to go out totally on your own and put yourself in situations that you absolutely HAVE TO. BTW: I like the shameless plugs.

Doesn't everyone just LOVE the "report this post" button?

bwahahah! and btw, I noticed a mod somewhere did some house cleaning...... anyone else notice some missing posts they don't miss?

What's missing? (guess I don't miss it but still am curious)

BTW, censorship sucks!;)

DANG-DANG-DANG! How may times do I read something that is
pertaining to something I will never know about!
TOO MANY!!!!:confused: :(

jogging some memories
 

I think the posts that were deleted had to do with that person who posted for a couple of days at the beginning of the summer and was only saying joking, sarcastic, mean stuff. Basically junking up the boards for their own amusement, they were quickly banned and their posts removed. (I promise it was not worth reading, nor was it trying to make a point...I think at one point whoever it was was posting quotes from different members to antagonize fights between them). It was more than likely better to remove them than to have people keep continually respond to a post that was inflammatory and not even desiring a reply.:)

Plugs
 

So i had to add my 2 cents in, even if the thread IS already four pages long ;) on my campus, we have a sorority version of the golden rule for campus leaders and sisters speaking to PNMs outside of rush: talk about Greek life as if you had 12 sisters looking over your shoulder, one for every chapter on campus...so, in otherwords, it's great that everyone has sorority love, that's why we joined!!! and the PNMs can obviously see that love, but (sorry if this is preach-y) we should remember to promote Greek life as a whole, which we already basically do on this site by being courteous, respectful and encouraging one another in our individual chapter pursuits...we should aim "to see and appreciate all that is noble in another, be her badge what it may" because we all know that, even if our favorite PNMs on this site don't end up affiliating with us, we're still happy that they're Greek at all right? because they can share the love with us...so, individual plugs and shout-outs are cool, but in the end we should try and campaign for PNMs to go greek in general, not XYZ

thanks for listening guys :)

Re: Plugs
 

well posted! :)

PMs to PNMS
 

Do you guys really think PMs are bad? If i saw someone on the board from my school, i would definitly PM to say i would answer any questions they had with in THE BEST OF MY ABILITY. Read no rush infractions here, meaning i would be PMing as if i did have "12 sisters looking over my shoulder" from different houses. I would probably give them the link to our panhell, encourage them to contact the panhell office and maybe outline the different days of rush, for example we have a skit day, then philathropy, etc and a little about what is appropriate wear. BUT I WOULD NEVER USE A SHAMELESS PLUG. I do however see lot of girls on here who have specific concerns and if i PMed them it would probably be best to answer in panhellenic terms just as if i had a friend who was a PNM. Which i have ACTUALLY had a friend who was a PNM, who liked to ask me lots of questions, for example she was concerned about smaller houses and if she would really want to be in a really small sisterhood. I dont see anything wrong wiht saying, well i am in a small sisterhood at XYZ and i have never encountered your concern AS WELL there are many other sororities on our campus that are small and they also feel the same way. This was the way we were taught to deal with situations like this. Address maybe your invidividual chapter if they had asked about it but then quickly move it to talking about it in go panhell terms. The whole panhellenic system is wonderfull. etc etc. My friend also asked me some very specific questions which after i informed her that it was against the rules to answer, i quickly refered her to panhell or told her to write down her question and as her gamma chi (or rho chi) once school started.
do you guys agree with this thinking?

i am amazed at how differend the rush threads are this year. ther is no cheering for individual GLOs on the threads and it's much more panhellenic. great job!

I was thinking the same thing earlier! There will always be the "hope to call you sister!" or whatever, but I think everyone truly is trying to be more panhellenic, and more understanding about each woman and her choices. Also, we don't know the real life dynamics involved, and are a bit more cautious.

I must say I've been impressed with the Pan-hel atmosphere around here. Honey introduced me to this site a while back because we met through a mutual like of soccer. (:)) Even on the other message boards and through private messages she has been completley unbias even though at times you know she just wants to say "I WANT YOU IN ADPi! WITH ME!" Hehehe! You rock honey! (Btw, CJ likes my massages. :))

It's that kind of attitude that I admire. And I feel welcome to ask questions and all. I hope that this continues. :) Thanks all!

Did you decide to rush this fall at SC? Keep me updated!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you, Bethany! That is just too kind of you to say!

Quote:

even though at times you know she just wants to say "I WANT YOU IN ADPi! WITH ME!" Hehehe!

Don't you know it! (she's obviously picking up on my subliminal adpi adpi adpi vibes!) But again, YOU have to be happy with your sorority. Whichever sorority "gets" you will be the luckiest on campus!

Quote:

You rock honey! (Btw, CJ likes my massages. :))

Yeah, we need to talk about that massage...!!! ;)

Quote:

It's that kind of attitude that I admire. And I feel welcome to ask questions and all. I hope that this continues. :) Thanks all!

We'll do our best! :D

we are told during recruitment never to say anything negative about another chapter; i think that we need to be just as panhellenic here; not that people put down other orgs here; i just think that we need to be as neutral as possible when helping pnms; i know that when i was a pnm i always read these boards looking for advice and they always put me at ease; but i also think that its good to show our pride, no matter what chapter we are a part of; its important for pnms to see how important our orgs are to us and how much a part of our lives they are

This is going to be a bit long-winded...
 

Wow, things sound pretty stable and amiable between the houses at your respective schools. Of course, I haven't read all of the posts in this thread all that closely -- so please dont' tear my head off if I'm wrong. ;)

Anyway, I went through Rush several times while I was here at Cal, Fall 2002, Spring 2003 and finally again in Spring 2004. I didn't join fraternities at that point because every single one I went to had a varying degree of animosity towards each other inside the house (between the pledge classes, usually towards the ones preceeding the most recent one was when the most anger could be felt.) and the fact that many houses very badly bad-mouthed other houses constantly -- trying to impress Rushees that way, rather than show them what their house had to offer.

Now, I joined Theta Delt because I found them to be the most close-knit group, most sincere and nicest all-around group of guys. Sure, we may not have the "best" reputation on campus -- nor do we have the highest GPA, or the biggest parties (actually we do have some of the biggest parties) or "best" relations with the sororities, but there was no resentment between the various pledge classes and there was definately a focus on what we are in this for -- Fraternity. And you can feel the resentment in a lot of the houses, because of the (from what I've heard -- I never went through anything all that terrible) extreme hazing that goes on in many of them.

Of course, there is bad blood between some of the houses around Cal, but that is usually because of "dirty rushing" and other incidents that go back so long, that the reasons they hate each other have been forgotten by everyone -- so most of the animosity results down to nothing more than "Those guys are queers" or "They're dorks." (Of course, this is very sugar-coated and watered-down. Use your imaginations ;) )

Now, what I can't seem to wrap my head around is that we are all Greeks and many people and groups, including elements of the administration, at Cal that are extremely <b>Greek Hostile</b>, so why can we not at least get along civilly? There is a great deal of stuff going on with houses, especially in the IFC to screw each other over -- including setting houses up for getting "caught" breaking regulations, vandalization, stealing pledges and dirty-rushing/early-bidding & hotboxing.

I know this probably bandied on way too long and went off topic, but I feel it is a relevant point to add to this topic. My point is, that we are Greeks and since when has your house-affiliation mattered so much that you can't associate with people outside? I became a Greek to be a Greek and because it was/is family tradition (not so much the house, but I'm a 4th Generation Greek), not be a Sigma Chi, or an ATO or a Fiji or even a Theta Delt. I love my fraternity, I love my brothers and I love the Greek System, but it pisses me off when I see people who turn down houses where they'd be perfectly happy and join one and be miserable just because they had a good rep. It happened to us and its happened to countless other houses here and across the country most likely.

But I'd just like to say, I'm proud to be a Cal Greek and I'm proud to be a Theta Delt.

Peace.

RUSH PIKE
 

Pi Kappa Alpha is the best!!!!