Gosh, I finally figured out how to work the mesages. How wonderful, thank you all. My daughter frequented this board for a lengthy amount of time, now I know why. I haven't spent this much time on line since we signed up for our internet service.

To answer questions--Our area was full of legacies to one sorority in particular. I don't know why, but if any remained, I haven't heard of them yet. My daughter described them as "hard looking." It was at the first party so when she said there was something about them that made her feel really uncomfortable, I let it go. I was a bit shocked because they are considered to be a strong sorority. What happened, I think, is every girl starts out thinking "Who will I cut?" They don't realize it doesn't work that way in this environment. They were pretty open about who they liked and didn't so embarrassment may have come into play. Afterall, who wants to be in a sorority that everyone "hates". They may have declined too quickly. Add to that what I stated about legacies getting cut hard right out of the shoot. I would love to hear a wrap up by the sororities on campus that stated where they may have gone wrong. There were 3 in particular that turned a great many girls off at the start. Maybe everyone was a tad too confident at the start. Anyway, I appreciate and will convey to my daughter your good wishes. I too must thank everyone. My husband has been listening to this stuff for far too long. It helped so much to be able to let this out.

This is where it's all at! I am so glad your daughter is happy! She has had an amazing attitude about the whole thing, and it is wonderful that she got into Delta Gamma! Send my congratulations her way!!! :cool:

Congratulations to you and your daughter! It sounds as if Delta Gamma has found itself a wonderful new pledge!:D

legacy cuts
 

Many chapters have requirements to releasing legacies, one is that they must be released by a certain round. This may have been the reason for such a hard legacy cut. Another reason could be the number of legacies the individual chapter had going through - especially if the number was equal to or greater than quota. Or it could be that the chapters were blind.

In regards to the bid promising your daughter experienced - PLEASE, I beg you, get your daughter to report it. It is the only way to stop it. I have absolutely no respect for a chapter that would do this - even if it were one of my own. I'm glad your daughter was able to see them for what they really were.

For all the women who have not started the recruitment process -this is a great lesson in keeping an open mind. It also should make everyone see that no one person can speak for the entire chapter - SO DON'T BELIEVE THEM if they promise you a bid. Make your choice based on who you want to share your best and worst college moments with; the women you would want to have as bridesmaids; the women you will keep in contact with long after your college days.

Being in a sorority should be about making friends - membership is for life. It should not be about who has the best mixers, the funniest skits or who is considered good on your campus. I should hope that all of you join to find a sisterhood, a home away from home and lifelong friendship.

So, as all the others before me this is my advise - keep an open mind, don't be afraid to go your own way and give all the groups (large and small) a chance.

I now step off of my soap box.

Congrats to the new DG! The DGs are very sweet, genuine girls. They were always one of my favorite houses.

Justamom, would you mind emailing me with some of the more sordid details of rush this year? I've been through it TWICE so I pretty much know the seedy underbelly of things. I think I know which house did the dirty rush. I'm also dying to know who didn't make quota....If they need another girl, I'll fill in :) Oh wait, I'm too old for them :rolleyes:

Anyway, my email is juniorgrrl@hotmail.com :)

Justamom, out of curiosity, which sorority were you in and where?

I can't wait for my children to go through rush but that is a long way away.

Thank you so much for the updates and I wish your daughter the best of luck.

I am just as paranoid as my daughter. My sorority is not on LSU and since it is much stronger in other parts of the country, I doubt many pledges have this as their legacy. I am very proud of it and there are MANY on this board, but I can't compromise her privacy.

If members think this thread has been to open, I will deleat (if I can figure it out) my posts so not to frighten PNMs. What I posted is a true depiction of the events my daughter went through. Much was left out due to it's inflamatory nature. I will say this, at the beginning of last summer, there was a "gathering" of HS seniors and college freshmen. A member of a high profile sorority pulled 3 girls aside. Within earshot of the other senior girls she told these three that THEY should be ____. Of course this hurt the other girls's feelings. If this happened in one city, could it not have happened elsewhere? Anyway, that is the very sorority that did not make quota. I know my daughter never considered them as a possibility after that. Actives, please tell your newer members to use care when dealing with people.

NOW-My last post. My daughter called and all is well. In fact, she said"Mom, we ROCK!" I heard the confidence and happiness of the old daughter. She is so PROUD! Time has allowed the girls to get together and of course gossip! She has been approached about leadership possibilities. Her first words were, "Mom. I've gotta find a date!" If that is her biggest problem, I am blessed as is she. I believe she has found the best place in the world even though I know it's a place that will lead her from being my little girl into womanhood. Isn't that what we all want for our children?
So, maybe a happy ending will prove to the rushees that first and foremost-RUN from anyone involved in dirty rush tactics. Second, sometimes the match could be one "made in heaven". Now, I say goodbye and thanks for your kind words. LOOK OUT LSU! HERE SHE COMES!

Justamom ~
just becuase you daughters recruitment ordeals are over doesn't mean that you have to say goodbye! I can only speak for my self - but the way you presented her rush was in such a classy and upbeat manner - i would hate to lose you b/c I see you as an asset to GC! You're a member of a GLO and other members on this board could greatly benefit from your wisdom and advice. also - tell your daughter to come back to GC and share with us her DG experience- we'd love to hear from her!:D

Justamom--
I think you've shown discretion and class in your posts. You didn't mention any names of the different chapters-- and the naming of chapters that PNMs are bahsing to different degrees is what the GC community is sensitive to.

You presented the events of your daughter's rush as they happened without naming names. That was great! This has been one of my favorite posts to read!

And though I am a Chi Omega and love XO, several of my very best friends are Delta Gammas and I am so excited that is where you're daughter is now! Its a great organization nationally and (as I understand it) was founded on the prinicples of friendship--which I just love!!

Amy

I agree with IowaHawkeye and Amycat that you have shown a lot of discretion and respect with all of your posts.

just a mom, congrats to your daughter!!!
 

First of all, Much Congratulations to your daughter for choosing such and awesome sorority!! Second choices on pref night become your first choice always in your heart! Your daughter seems like an cool girl who will succeed at anything. I was upset (but not suprised) to hear about how the girls that were cut from sororities treated her. I went through rush at LSU this year too and I am DYING to know who didn't make quota!!!(You can email me if you like) Although I have a pretty good idea. Thanks for all your posts.

To Potential New Members:
From experience, never ever judge a soroity by name, reputation, etc. alone unless you witness it for yourself (an even then, one girl doesn't represent the whole sorority.)
I know everyone tells new members this...I was told this and when going through rush, at first, i ignored it. Until I realized that after i had judged a house as being one of the "not so strong" sororites I was totally wrong. I have such a respect for the girls in it now (my best friend even pledged there) Although I pledged elsewhere.
ALL sororities at LSU are awesome and even if you get cut...there are so many things to do here that being Greek isn't the most important thing. I always take my non Greek friends out with my sisters. The greatest thing was hearing my non Greek friend say that she will never judge sorority girls as snobby after meeting my sisters.
Last bit of advice: If you ever feel awkward at a rush party, (like the girls are judging you) go with your instincts and don't pledge there. Understand that it is normal to feel a little awkward... you'll see what i mean when you get there.. but the girls should ALWAYS try to make you feel at home.
Sorry So Long, any questions about LSU rush or just general rush questions feel free to email me

how about an update?
 

your posts were exceptional. how's your daughter doing? is everything still wonderful? we'd love to know.
cheers
mmcat
:D :p :cool: :)

ThetaLove-According to my daughter, you do indeed have wonderful girls in your sorority. They impressed her right from the start. She said there is a lot of friendship between your two chapters.
Juniorgrrl said in the end, everyone ended up with quota. I believe one achieved it through snap bids, but I could be wrong so I don't want to say. By now, everyone seems to be into the swing of things so all's well that ends well! Next rush, you KNOW there will be tons of girls with questions who will need your help. Southern Rush is a different animal. Congrats for finding a home you love as well!

mmcat-HI! My sweetie is so happy. Now that the sororities have dropped their "rush" faces, some comical situations have occurred. Yes, some of those stereotypes seem to be valid in isolated cases. She is over at the house constantly and can't wait for the chance to move in. The mixers are fun, but she really likes the independent guys better(so far).
Acacia is one of her favorite fraternities (but they still have some others to mix with), she has found a few to be dull or full of themselves. These are generally the Fresh. and Soph. guys though.
I told her there are two times when fraternity guys CAN be unbearable, first when they pledge-they buy into reputations of their own organization, perception of Greek Life and sororities. Next is when they are newly initiated-Dang do they think they're "hot stuff" for a while. I guess that's the end result of a good pledge program though.
She is able to balance a Greek life with having independent contacts. THIS WAS IMPERATIVE. She also has close friends in KKG, Phi Mu, Theta, KD and ZTA. The bottom line-and I'm sure it's the same for ThetaLove and just about everyone else, she couldn't imagine herself anywhere else.
I do get a bit concerned about the party atmosphere, but that's part of learning too. Grades are really good so far but it's a long road and she's just at the begining. Thanks so much for asking.

Hey justamom!!!!! I'm so glad your daughter is adjusting to everything at LSU. I'm so glad she's happy with her sorority too!!!! If she ever needs anything...let me know. I'm more than willing to look out for a fellow Tiger!!!!!!

Allison

excellent update
 

i'm delighted it's going so well for her.
things generally turn out as they were meant to be.
keep us posted.
mmcat
:p :D :cool:

I'm bumping this up because it was a realistic depiction of the rushes at many large Southern (and other) schools. It also shows how everything can turn out OK--justamom's daughter is sublimely happy in DG a year later!!

bumping this for the same reason I did a year ago!

agreed
 

it's just as real and important today as it was then...
congrats to jam and her daughter.
and best of luck to those getting ready to rush.
you can learn a bunch reading this thread.
:)

Holy Cow! What a shock to see this thead again.

Just a simple addition-
Because of one of her sisters, she got a job out of state. She met some girls from Scotland, England and Australia.

She is going to move to England next July, work and go to school. They will work in Liverpool then go to London, where the girl has a flat, and attend school. Her family has invited our family for Christms 2004. Of course a lot of things could change, but I know how she is and the probability of this actually coming to fruition is in the high 90%. It is her dream.

I said to her, "...and just think, all this because you pledged DG!"
:D She thought it was pretty funny too!

I love this thread because there's a happy ending and I hate this thread because it still embarasses me to no end! But... I remember when I started reading Justamom's narrative I thought how lucky Li'l DG is to have such a fantastic mom, how lucky Justamom is to have such an awesome daughter and how much I wish Justamom lived in my neighborhood so we could hang out :)

JAM, you always have and always will ROCK!! :D

I wish Justamom lived in my neighborhood so we could hang out
We'd probably laugh ourselves to death!!!:D

sounds like a wonderful idea...
how's your son's recruitment doing?

Gee-he has been to a couple of parties been invited to others, but our town is out of the loop, so he would have to go to another town to attend and there's just a lot of distraction going on here. His sister and a couple of upper class soro girls he knew from HS have been talking to him about the different fraternities.
I KNOW what the national policies are, but that doesn't mean hazing doesn't go on. All of his close friends are pretty set against any fraternity that is going to beat-punch-brand-tattoo-make them walk around in a costume filled with vomit...the stories go on and on. SO, at this point it goes from who hazes the least to the most and of 16 (or so) it comes down to one and a posible 2 others. There is a 4th, but THEIR pledges' choice was a brand or tattoo. The crazy thing is, most of these guys don't have older brothers in a fraternity, so they haven't been raised to hear about the positive aspects. I have retained some great advice from some of the guys on GC. I am printng it out around the first of Aug. so he can digest it. If I try to vocally tell him, he'll think I'm running his life/lecturing him-when he reads it, he thinks it over, and becomes more open when we talk.
I just think he may say to hell with it all and pledge a group SOLELY on the hazing issue and if the brotherod isn't there...walk away. :( How could I blame him? I don't care WHAT your letters are! HUBBY says-you have to think you NEED to join pretty bad to allow people to beat you up. He has more confidence (ego???) than that.

JAM - my boyfriend is thinking about going through rush again. he's been invited to some rush parties and a few guys he's still good friends with who are going to be entering as freshman want him to rush with them. i'm nervous about it, but want him to be happy, too - whatever they decide, i hope your son and my boyfriend end up happy! plus, what people have said is true - you can still befriend and party with the greeks and have a lot of fun as an independent =)

i'm also kind of wary for him because two weeks ago two of our close friends got ARRESTED in new orleans and spent a night in jail after attending a rush party. i don't know exactly what went on, because these fellows don't remember, but i am quite sure this group is one of the ones that participate in forms of hazing...

Maybe we should talk! ;)

i love this thread! being new, this is the first time i read this! it' was soo sweet!

JAM, would your son consider remaining independent?

Munchkin03-JAM, would your son consider remaining independent?

No doubt about it. His Dad is "almost" encouragig it...and HE was in a fraternity! He dosn't feel it's important the freshman year and could actually be a hinderance to his grades. He has heard from our daughter and some other parents how demeaning and down right brutal some of the pledge programs can be. It disgusts him. Me too for that matter. Sigma Chi, at U of Houston, never laid a hand on their pledges. Yes, they got them up early and made them run, but their pledge trainer went through EVERYTHING with them-except hell week of course. They were so close to him BECAUSE they trusted him. That's a good philosophy if you ask me...but of course no one does!:D

I really want him to be in a fraternity, but not at the expense of his health. At this point, I believe he would be just fine as a GDI.
I think he would kind of miss being involved.

The last thing I'm going to tell him is- whatever he decides, I will be behind him.

I was just reading the LSU Greek Assessment scores, and now even more than before I can see why there could be concerns about LSU fraternities. If I read the listing correctly, only two fraternities (one NIC, one NPHC) received the highest assessment level. Of more concern, perhaps, are the two fraternity chapters listed as on probation and the six chapters listed as being "provisionally" recognized/accredited. Looks like there's work to be done at LSU. Of course, I don't know all the ins and outs and background of this assessment approach.

bumping this like I did 2 other years!

good call carnation...
this was a very sweet thread.
hope all is well with the jam crew.

Thanks, mmcat!

For those who didn't know what happened with JAM's son, he went Lambda Chi his freshman year.

bump again!

Thanks for bumping this time and time again! I will definitly keep an open mind during my rush! This thread is very helpful!

LOL i didnt even realize that thisthread was 6 YEARS OLD until i saw you bump it the first time!


that was a great story!

I'm rushing at a competitive university this fall. (well, I hear that it's competitive) I dont think dirty rushing is as bad as LSU, but I'm sure it goes on. Ahh, it really scares me. I know what to expect now, but still I know I might be gullible to that situation.

Carnation,

Thanks for bumping this thread. It is very much as I have surmised and I am worried and anxious for all of my friend's daughters who will all be rushing at southern campuses this fall! Yikes:eek:

It makes you wonder how we ever got in back in the dark ages!

I don't know if i will direct my friends to this thread, they are nervous enough already:(

Y'all might want to read, "justamom, how's LSU?", the sequel to this thread. It's all about how post-recruitment life panned out for that crowd!

Oh yes, a scary thread but lots of great information. I do miss justamom...we have a lot in common.
Maybe she'll come back one day!