GO NPC AT UCSB!
 

Yes I wholeheartedly echo OUlioness01's sentiments: I cannot wait to read the next installment of your rush thread.
Best wishes and good luck on your next round.
Go Greek!
Go NPC!

violets

theme night
 

*Whew*
This was probably my most emotional night!

I was invited back to ADPi, AXO, Tri-Delt, and AEPhi. I was heartbroken by not being invitd back to Theta and Kappa, my two favorite houses. The Tri-Delt party was first, but it wasn't mandatory that we go, so I didn't. I went to my friends' house instead and bawled like crazy...I got so down on myself and felt like, man, what did I do wrong this time? I must've totally blown it! My friends all rallied around me and cheered me up and told me that I should just stay with it through pref night, that I never know what might happen, and that I might start to click more with the other chapters. They walked me to my next party, which was ADPi.

Their theme was something along the lines of Casino Night. The girls wore either black and red or black and pinstripes. It was very cute, they had pictures of Marilyn Monroe and other celebrities on the wall and everything. Now, ifyou'll remember, the night before I had ranked ADPi over AXO, but last night, the conversatios didn't flow as beautifully as they had before. I was starting to just feel so exhausted, because inside I was still extremely crushed by being dropped by my favorites. I still think these girls are really cool and all, but , I dunno...i just felt really burnt out..

Disillusioned, I walked back to my friends houses and they were disappointed to hear that I hadnt enjoyed myself as much as the night before, but they made me snap out of it by cracking jokes and making me stay with it. They walked me once again to my next house, which was AXO (I skipped AEPHI, I know some of you will be disappointed, I'm really sorry, but I have been so upset with the fact that even if you rank a house as your absolute last choice they keep inviting you back because they invite EVERYONE back. That's as bad to me as a chapter who immediately cuts you, it's like they don't care who they pick, they just let ANYONE in..i dunno..im sorry, but it is just something that I don't like about our process here. I would rather have had just adpi and axo invite me back or just both drop me. I dont want to have to pretend to be interested in aplace where i know without a doubt i'd decline their bid.

AXO's theme was New York New York and they had tables set up showing how they make valentines cards for children and they had tiffanys bags from new york, and then there was one for toys and they had fao schwartz bags..these conversations were really cool and by the end of this party i was gklad i stuck it through. my friends really like this chapter here because they are very visible on campus, and love to do things together. Many of them go to the gym together and sport their letters. By my being relatively new to the campus, I don't see or know many greeks, but I, too, have seen them. They have a lot of pride in their chapter. What is weird is that, although ADPi is a great chapter adn they have cool events, not many people know they exist on campus and I'm not quite sure why this is. Maybe htey don't wear their letters as much?!?!

Tonight I find out which two, or if I even get two, invited me back for prefs. This is the night to end all nights. I'll know if greek life is really for me or not. If I'm dropped by my two, I can only hope for a snap bid from some other house, although I hear that's highly unlikely....

Either way I'm proud of myself for sticking it out and all. One girl I met in my Rho Chi group really likes AXO too, so it would be cool if we wnded up in the same house together!!!

I am sorry about you not getting your two favorites. I know that I hate hearing this saying but it is very true...."things happen for a reason", so hopefully you will find your place in one of the two that you still like.

I wish you luck!!

I'm so sorry you didn't get invited back to those 2 houses. I was dropped by the house I loved, too, and I know how upsetting it is!! But just stick with it and keep your chin up, and I just know you'll find the right sorority for you. Good luck sweetie!

leilani,

Don't be down on yourself for being dropped by those chapters...they probably really did like you!!! Rush is a hard process to explain and sometimes great girls get cut. I am sure it was not you. I went through rush with a favorite house many of my friends were in. It was a house everyone wanted, the most desireable house on campus because of the closeness and strength of the chapter...I got cut! Although I was disappointed, I stuck it out and got a bid from another sorority. I am so happy to be an AOPi!!!

Give the others a chance...go with your heart, though and what feels right!!!

Leilanimoon,
I'm terribly sorry to hear of your disappointments. It sounds as if you're going through quite a lot. I'm glad you have such encouraging friends to help you continue with this process.
It's a very, very common occurrence to be released from chapters whom you respect and enjoy, (many, many pnms on GC have faced exactly the same situation) but as UF56 very wisely stated, "things happen for a reason." Unfortunately the reason can take time to reveal itself, and in the midst of our disappointment we can feel lost, but rest assured it is always there and you will, with time, be granted clarity about this situation.

My only suggestion is that you reflect back on the chapters that have invited you to their next event and think how you might see yourself contributing to their sisterhood. Much of the collegiate experience of sisterhood is about working with others to ensure the health of the organization. It's truly one of the joys of the Greek collegiate experience, and one that we, as members, sometimes forget to emphasize, as the work we do for our chapters eventually becomes second nature. But I would ask you, can you picture yourself participating in your prospective houses' philanthropic work, planning a sisterhood retreat, working on their house board, arranging a social event, etc? Do the sisterhoods have events and projects that you would enjoy participating in? Or, do you see yourself being able to begin new traditions and develop events and projects that you see they need? How can you use the skills you may have developed in other areas of your life to help develop the organizations that are considering you for membership?
I make this suggestion because I truly feel that when it comes to Greek Life, as in life in general, you get out of it what you are willing to put in. One of the most significant aspects of my collegiate experience was the WORK I did as a sister. Everything from raking the lawn at the Ronald McDonald House, to making scholarship application packets, to writing the Greek Week skit, to revamping our formal recruitment, made me value my wonderful chapter and sisters all the more and cherish the opportunities afforded me by my sorority. The icing on the cake was the fact that I learned so much from all the work that I did do within chapter, and I developed inter-personal and business skills that I use to this day.
I hope you will take this suggestion to heart and consider where you would like to contribute all your obvious good qualities.
I wish you all the best; I know that this will work out. Re-read some of the rush threads on this board, as I stated above it’s been an extremely common occurrence for those pnms posting on GC to be released from rush “favorites” however, if they entered the next rounds with open minds and hearts they were invariably carried gracefully into the arms of sisterhoods that welcomed them with love, sisterhoods they would never trade for their initial recruitment “crushes.” I wish the same happy ending for you.

Best Panhellenic wishes,
violets

I am so sorry you got cut by your top 2. :( Hoping you'll find your home with AXO or ADPi, or failing that, through COB.

I should clarify my earlier post about being saddened that you don't like AEPhi. AEPhi is not for everyone - the same could be said of just about any sorority. You gave them a fair shake, and decided AEPhi wasn't for you, and I respect that.

Good luck with your pref invites, and please keep us posted. :)

waiting to see what happens....

I back what Violets said about recruitment crushes. When I went through my formal recruitment I was convinced I wanted XYZ sorority. When i didnt get an invite back after the 3rd night I was so upset. I went through with the rest and gave the other chapters a chance. In that I found that A Phi was the best for me. And i look back on it now and I cant picture myself in that XYZ sorority now. AS someone else said earlier, things happen for a reason...and usually its for the best and its what was meant to be. you will see it after this is all over. Good luck with the rest of recruitment. Please keep smiling!!

Ili

huge disappointment!
 

I spend my time yesterday afternoon calming my nerves, picking the perfect dress, the perfect shoes, jewelry, makeup....determined to go into it with the best mindset and what happens but I am DROPPED from ADPi and AXO. Tri-Delt and AEPHI, the two on campus who invite EVERYONE back, invite me back. I was extremely upset and felt that this was so ridiculous. I never went to any of their events after I knew they weren't the place for me and they still want me? Geez, I thought they would have more respect for their chapter than to invite people who were so obviously disintersted. I know this might sound like blasphemy to some of you, and I really want to apologize if it comes ouit sounding like that but what they're doing, to me, is analogous to an ex-boyfriend that just won't go away, no matter what. *Sigh*...

So I just return to my friends' place, change my clothes, and sulk for a bit. Then they do their best to try and cheer me up. They tell me to try and do open bidding to the houses I really love later because they're sure that most houses will not make quota.

They try and get me to take my mind off of things and to go party and for awhile I put things aside and really get into the mindset of,"Hey, if they don't want me, screw them", but as the night wears on I just become more and more weary. So I end up backing out of going out and partying and go confide in one of my other friends about my disappointment. I decide to just get some rest, I'm just so tired, exhausted, and ready to throw in the towel when I receive a call at 11:30 at night. It's Stephan, the Panhellenic advisor, and he tells me,"I just wanted to let you know that because you withdrew from rush, you are not eligible for a snap bid, but you CAN do open house"

Now, let me rewind this a little bit. At the end of the night, all the girls were supposed to return to IV Theatre and mark our number 1 and number 2, or else choose neither and withdraw. My Rho Chi had told me that if I withdrew, the sororities would all get a list of who withdrew adn at that time, they could offer a snap bid, so that is what I did, with that very thought in mind. So his calling me to tell me that exact opposite really shocked the **** out of me. I had been settling down to sleep and I hear THIS?!!? Outside of my friends window I hear my other friends out on the street below and run to them and by the time I relay this info to them, I am once again a bundle of nerves. My friend walks me to her house and I just totally break down. I had finally begun to get over the rejection and disappointment, and then the call happens to ruin my night. AAAGGHH...They tell me I should tell my rho chi what the panhellenic advisor said this morning, but when I tell her, she just kind of sideswipes the issue.

In a way, I still want to do open bidding, but in a way, I think I ahould have more pride and still say screw them. If they couldnt see me as their sister then, why would they now?!?! It's just so hard to know that you went to these houses, had awesome conversations, was invited back one more round, and then you're cut and you know that the other girls who kept getting invited back had the same great conversations as you did, and were greeted with open arms every round. Is it really just luck of the draw that one day you'll end up with great rushers and the next you meet up with someone who doesnt know how to keep the convo going, and they decide it mustve been you, and that you just weren;t right simply because they didn't know what to say? And it wasn;t like I just sat there waiting for their questions, I asked just as many when given the opportunity...uugghh..I dunno..right now I'm just feeling very down in the dumps..this has been something I've wanted for so long and to have it slip through my fingers is just so heartwrenching...i dunno.

reflections
 

Now that my thought processes have become a lot more clear. I've been able to sift through things logically and now I'm kind of chalking up my experience to my juinor status in school. Since \i can't find anything that went wrong at the actual parties where I was cut, I'm kind of thinking that maybe that is what was working against me. <Maybe this is wishful thinking, or maybe I'm right on the mark, but I've decided that if the house I REALLY want does COB, I will try and do that. I have never wanted to go greek just to wear letters, I had definite favorites for a variety of reasons, not necessarily because they were the top dogs, because if I felt uncomfortable there, I don't care how creme of they crop they appear. I also am not blinded by things like that because I know that internally a lot of politics can occur. I've seen it happen with my friends.

Most people at this school don't always see the value of joining a sorority because in SB, it is totally true that you can have a VERY active social life without it, and the alcohol flows at non-fraternity parties MUCH more than at fraternities, since theyve made us a relatively dry campus. I've never been into it for that reason, I truly feel like I would have pride wearing the letters of a select few houses, and I would feel like I sold myself short by accepting anything else. I could easily have gone with one of the houses that prefed me, but I'd feel like I just did it just to be able to say I'm greek, which is juts not me at all. I;m just gonna follow my own philosophy that if I really want something, to go after it, but also to know when to say "when". The COB will be my last effort as an undergraduate, because I don't want to chase after any pipe dreams or become an annoying pest to a house I truly respect. Maybe they really DON'T think I'd fit, or maybe they'll remember that they liked me and the luck of the draw is what was against me. Thank you to all of you who have given me your whole-hearted support, if the house I want does do COB, I will keep you all updated on if it works out or not. Thank you all soo very much!!!

leilanimoon,

I do not say this often... However, your posts and attitude have won my respect!!! (Not that is counts for much). Your posts have been honest, open, upfront, mature, to the point, etc. I am very impressed with your maturity and decisiveness. I truly hope the house you want does COB and if there is anything I could ever do to help, please PM me. I would do it in a heart beat.

Best Wishes,
A&As

heads up...way up
 

you are probably right that your junior status ultimately did you in.
my thought is definitely consider informal. also, contact with panhellenic about the apparent discrepency so perhaps you can get back in the snap bid race, or if not, at least no one else will get incorrect advice in the future.
it sounds like you have already got a solid circle of friends. it sounds like your classes are fine. now just relax and enjoy life. if things click, terrific. if not, you keep your head up and think about doing other stuff.
lol
feel better
:D

Re: huge disappointment!
 

Uh....Ladies, I don't think this guy is right.
If you withdraw (and don't sign a Bid Card) then aren't you still open for COB? That is how I understand it.

I don't think this guy knows what he is talking about.
Just my thoughts..... We need some Panhel experts on this thread pronto to verify.....

Re: Re: huge disappointment!
 

Eh, from what I remember, which could be way off, it is late, is that a snap bid and cob are different. snap bids are eligible for girls who have rushed through pref. if a house goes through its bid lists and still has not made quota it can (snap) bid a girl who has gone through pref but maybe was cross-cut/suicided/or possibly dropped them prior to pref.
The advisor guy said she was eligible for open house - which i think means COB.

maybe Barb could clear this up :D

I believe that if you withdraw from rush you can still do COB. Snap bids are only for those women who went to pref parties but did not receive a bid from any house.

ZTAAngel is right- you can only do COB if you drop out of rush prior to signing the preference card. If you sign it, you can't rush for a year because any bid that's given is open for a year. If you sign the preference card and don't get a bid, then you're eligible for snap bidding from a chapter that didn't make quota.

Re: Re: Re: huge disappointment!
 

Basically, each chapter is supposed to turn in a snap list in addition to their first and second bid lists. Theses lists include any girl who did not attend their pref, but to whom they are willing to offer a bid. They are listed in priority of how much the chapter wants her.

For some chapters, this may mean anyone who has attended a certain number of invitationals, legacies, friends from high school, etc. Any PNM can be on the list at the chapter's discretion, as long as they were registered for formal rush at one point.

After computer matching, AND quota additions, the snap list for any chapter that is below quota is cross-referenced with the girls who are not matched.

The Rho Chi should then call Suzie PNM and tell her that she did not match with any of the chapters on her pref card, but Alphas are willing to offer her a bid.

It is possible to be offered more than one snap bid, so the Rho Chi would tell Suzie PNM that Alphas and Betas offered her bids, and Suzie would choose. She would then be added to their list, and pick up her bid with everyone else in her pledge class.

Unlike quota additions, ANYONE who is registered for rush can be offered a snap bid, regardless of the number of parties or rounds they attended, or if they have formally withdrawn.

Delta Beta Baby, that's exactly what I'm so confused about! I formally withdrew, because I wasn't feeling it at the two houses who preffed me. And yet he calls me and tells me I'm not eligible for a snap bid. I thought by withdrawing, the other houses would see my name on the list and they could go back and see if they had been interested in offering me a bid. That's why I kept asking my friends, is he going to put my card in some "off-limits" category, so that no one can snap bid me? I dunno..I'm just really confused by the whole process, so I'm just going to wait around until some houses start doing open house (yes, this is the same as COB, in a sense. They advertise in our student newspaper that their chapter will be holding an open house and they can continue from that night to either invite you to another night of open house and then eventually offer you a bid, or else sometimes, if you stuck out enough during formal, they will just show up at your door or your class and offer you a bid)

I apologize....
 

...for sounding confused but I am old! What were the two houses where you attended pref parties, leilanimoon?

UCSB Alum attempts to help
 

Leilanimoon -
I have been keeping up on your thread and I am SO SORRY that you did not have a good UCSB rush experience. It has changed a lot since I went through (Fall 98) due to increasing interest and fierce competition between the houses. A lot of rules and regulations are airtight, and this makes our recruitment a little different from other campuses.

Anyhow, I worked for Stephan my senior year, and having been through recruitment three times as an active, I can maybe help clarify this policy UCSB is using regarding snap bids/COB. It may or may not be right (I don't have my green book in front of me to check) but...

You technically did 'withdrawl' on Pref night because you did not attend a party. If you would have attended the parties at Tri-Delt & AEPhi and then gone to IV theater and NOT signed a pref card, you would have completed recruitment & been eligible for a snap bid (Signing the card is the binding agreement to another house). The list that goes to the houses is all the girls who ATTENDED a pref. party but DID NOT sign a pref. card.

'Withdrawl' status at UCSB is dropping out anytime when you COULD have attended a party, even if you knew you weren't going to join a house. So technically, because there are chapter that choose to invite PNM's still in rush after they regreted an invitation, deciding not to attend at any time you still have an invite is withdrawing.

Because you DIDN'T sign a Pref. card, you are not bound to a house for a year, which is why you are eligible for COB throughout the year.

This policy was obviously not made clear to you, which is a problem. However, there is a good chance that quite a few houses will be holding open houses this fall and winter so keep your eyes open.

If you have any questions, please PM me!!!

Delia

LeilaniMoon.....
 

...what is happening?

By withdrawing from recruitment, you did make yourself ineligible for snap bids. However, you are still eligible for COB/open houses, which you would not have been if you signed a card and were matched to one of the houses you preffed. It sounds like you made the right decision to keep looking for a place you felt comfortable!

thanks for the support!
 

I am sticking in there! Gonna read the school newspapers and see when there are open houses for the houses i love. I will definitely keep you all posted and i just want you to know that you guys have been a prime example of why it is I want to go greek. You are always so positive, supportive, and uplifting.

About my only suggestion is....
 

...that you may want to read the school papers for open houses for the sororities that you not only LOVE but also for those houses that think you MIGHT be able to love....otherwise I am afraid you might miss out on a sorority that really is a fantastic home for you... just a suggestion....:)

Thanks, GPhiB, I'll keep that in mind. The only thing I'm apprehensive about is expressing too broad of an interest in too many places. I am extremely interested in 3 of the houses on campus for 3 unique reasons. Yes, it is possible that I could find a home elsewhere, but as I AM a junior, I have only so much time left here and I think I'd be happiest if I went to the places where I felt a little more at home. This is not to say I'll count other places out entirely, but it helps me to be able to narrow down my options when I already know which places seem like a good fit already. So far, there hasn't been any greek messages in the newspaper, but I'm on the lookout!

I think the difference is that what any given school CALLS snap bidding isn't necessarily what snap bidding really is.

By NPC's definition, snap bidding occurs when a girls prefs and bids but does not match up. The bid matchers will then contact the GLOs to see, "Do you want her?" She then gets her bid in the same way as if she matched. A girl should thus never know if she was a snap bid. The first time we did that, I about had a heart attack - I thought it was some major rule violation! Because what we called snap bidding on my campus wasn't really - after bids were given out the chapters still eliglible to give out bids got lists of girls who dropped out of rush and could go give them bids - some girls would get a couple of bids this way!

I think this happens a lot of places - they call something snap bidding but it isn't really.

The difference could stem from the fact that people sometimes do not understand the snap bidding process and refer to COB bids as snap bids. Snap bidding matches are done by the Office of Greek Life... however, after a certain time on Bid Day (at my school it was 7 p.m.), the formal recruitment period ends and chapters are allowed to begin COB. When my chapter had a few spots to fill, we would call girls who withdrew from recruitment (thus making themselves ineligible for snap bids) on Bid Day at exactly 7 p.m. and offer them a bid. People often called these bids snap bids, when in reality, they were COB bids.

That's the only explanation I can think of for the discrepancies...

FuzzieAlum - hmm, I never knew that. That process wouldn't have worked at my school, though - PNMs could only list on their pref cards the sorority/ies where they preffed, and sororities could only list PNMs who preffed them on their bid lists, so if a PNM preffed at A and B and got a bid from C, it was clearly a snap bid. Since the PNM wouldn't have listed C on her pref card, she was not bound for a year.

leilanimoon, best of luck with COB rush. :)

Ok here's what the NPC "green book" says about snap bidding
under the rush mechanics section:

Snap Bidding
Snap Bidding is an option available to chapters which did not fill formal membership recruitment Quota spaces in bid matching, whether matching by hand or by computer. Snap Bidding is not intended to fill spaces in the chapter Total. Snap Bidding is limited to any woman who participated in the designated formal membership recruitment.

Snap bidding should be under the direction of the college panhellenic membership recruitment committee, working with the chapters who have quota vacancies. A signed membership recruitment acceptance shall be filed with the college panhellenic before a woman who has accepted a snap bid may be pledged. Snap bidding shall begin immediately after bid matching and end with the distribution of bids, at which time Continuous Open Bidding shal begin

end quote

Nothing is said about requiring a PNM to have completed the recruitment process (ie to have attended preference parties or signed a preference card). In fact there isn't anything said at all about how snap bidding is supposed to function. So my guess is that any snap bidding rules are acceptable to NPC as long as the basic tenents of 1) having participated in some portion of recruitment and 2) that mutual selection (ie both PNM and sorority must agree) is perserved.

Thanks for the clarification! Golly, I need a copy of the rules.

Snap bid vs. COB bid

my understanding is that snap bids are those bids given and accepted between the time that bid matching is complete and before formal bids are distributed. So, unless the new member says "I got a snap bid" no one other than she and those participating in bid matching would know it was anything other than a snap bid. COB bid are any other bids given and received after formal bids are distributed.

So COB bids can be given the same day as formal bids, they are just given after.

im kinda confused about it, too, but i guess at my school i had to be physically present at the two houses on pref night and then i could have put withdraw and been eligible for a snap bid at 7 am, instead of what i did which was just to not attend the parties, but put withdraw on my bid card AFTER the parties had concluded. open houses should be starting soon!

Leilanimoon -

Has anyone advertised anything yet???

open house
 

Gamma Phi Beta had their open house tonight. Im sure more will follow soon...or at least I hope it's soon!

Well.........................
 

....................did you go????
:confused:

Leilanimoon, I am so proud that you are seeing things through!! What a motivated woman you are to explore all of your options and make the best of a situation that wasn't ideal...but who knows...maybe it really was ideal! Best of luck to you in finding your home!! Whether it is a Greek one or not!

I'm so glad you're not just giving up, even after the whole big mess with snap bids -- I hope you find your home.

I'm really glad you're looking at all your options! I've met a lot of girls from the chapter at UCSB and they are a wonderful group of women! I hope you enjoy yourself at their Open house, even if you're not interested in the sisterhood! But of course, I'm going to give my shameless plug...

mes pensées...my thoughts
 

I couldnt go to last night's open house with GPhiB, but I may be able to tonight. None of the other houses have posted anything yet in the newspaper. I had to do a huge favor for a friend of mine and drive her to the hospital. (She's ok now). I promise to keep updating! I DID meet a girl from AKA yesterday while walking home. She just approached me and struck up a conversation. She was very friendly and gave me her number to call her whenever. I asked around and found out she was the president(?!?!) of AKA.
So now this adds something interesting to the mix. I'm a minority, but I've been raised in a diverse city, so going NPC seemed like a natural thing to do, but, then, there's awesome NPHC orgs on campus, too. I know their process is totally different, and it never really occured to me to actively consider it. All my friends, of all nationalities, have gone NPC, so I'm so used to the way it is structured, and from this board and all their conversations, I've totally been in that mindset. But I suppose I'll see as time progresses. I still have my favorites within the NPC, so it all comes down to which group of girls finds something in me which they can see adding something beneficial to their organization and which ones I feel at home with. Do you all recommend that I call this girl and meet some of her sisters, as well? I'm pretty sure that with NPHC, correct me if I'm wrong, but you just go for the one organization you really want, and go from there. It's funny, because that is kind of how I have felt about the houses I like within the NPC, that I wouldnt be being true to myself by just "joining" a house that picks me, and "eventually" feeling at home, because although it is supposed to be mutual selection, you guys remember I ended up with prefs from the two I wanted least? And then add in the factors of, perhaps they really liked me, but they cut all juniors, or some sort of factor like that?!? The houses that still stick out to me are the houses where there was no script, where I didn't have to try hard to keep the convo flowing, where we really had common interests, and I could tell they weren't bluffing because their experiences were similar yet at the same time unique from my own.

Right now my brain is all mush and I'm gonna give everything time to sort itself out in my mind. I hate being in such a time of indecision, because I'm usually such an all-or-nothing kind of girl. I'm very passionate towards things I truly care about, or I can be indifferent if need be. My friends' attitude now is like, Well, if they didn't want you, then screw them, you don't need to go greek. But in the back of my mind I'm still like, well, what if there were some random factor holding me back through formal rush? What if I look back and regret the fact that I didn't go after what I want? When I set my mind on something, I go for broke but hope that I'll know when to say when. I organized and financed my own trip as well as my friends' trip to Europe because it was my dream and I wanted to see it realized. That's the way I go about things I really want. This is something I've wanted for so long that I feel in a state of suspension. Like suspended opportunity..like it's all lingering juuuust out of my reach..which road do I take, etc....Suggestions?

Sorry if my rambling all appears too dramatic, but it's truly how I'm feeling right now.