Declining to write a rec is fine, but the RFM PNM might find another alumna to write the rec for her, and she might end up in your sorority.

For online only rec sororities in a no rec situation, the writer might contact that chapter's recruitment advisor or the regional/national officer over that chapter and seek advice on how best to handle that particular situation.

^^^^^^That up there!!

There's where you are wrong, wrong, WRONG.
If you don't tell them not to pledge her, who will? You'd better get used to seeing her running around town with YOUR LETTERS spread over her chest. Do you want that?
I agree with not writing anything down. You never know who might see the form.
We have a place to check "I do not recommend this PNM." So check it and send it.
Or don't sign the form. Print your name and phone number....but don't sign it. Then put a Post-It note on the front that says CALL ME FIRST. Or something to point out there is a warning.

Don't just assume that no rec means they won't pledge the girl.

Really, the "no" recs are more important than the "yes" ones!

Yes, Yes and Yes again!!!! That is why I DO NOT RECOMMEND is on the form!!!

I agree. I have done this a few times when I am in awkward rec situations, and have found it the best way to go. I think it depends on the school and the situation, but I think contacting the chapter is probably best. Most of the PNMs who have asked me for recs have asked for them at schools where you don't need them (given our location), and there has usually been something "interesting" about each of them, so I've contacted the advisor to see how they want me to handle it. A few of them have turned out to be girls who rushed the year before and got cut, or girls they already knew about for some reason.