To keep it short, I have to be honest and say I think sex is best kept within marriage. You can give any number of arguments both ways. However, I find it hard to equate the "shoe/food sampling" argument with something as binding as sex. Surprisingly, it would seem more ladies use that argument nowadays. Do we forget that everybody is born without experience?
Contrary to popular opinion, the more people one has sex with does not automatically make that person a better lover. Speaking from a male point of view, there is no one surefire way to please every woman all the time. If having an "experienced" partner is what you prefer, hey, go for it; realize, however, that more is not always better. It was said that Wilt the Stilt, the granddaddy of exponential promiscuity, was definitely not the best lay a woman could have.
There is nothing wrong with waiting, but I am not gonna preach about how the good Lord intended it, though I believe that pre-marital abstinence is what He wanted. What I do believe is that there is nothing one cannot learn from scratch. Yes, it is possible for to sexual novices to develop an outstanding, satisfying sex life (I hear the gasps of disbelief). Remember, even 007 had to develop his renown technique somewhere. I am sure having a deep love for your partner within a legal marriage is the best start.

Prayer alone woun't make you Cum Good
 

I think Blackwatch brings up a CRITICAL point that alot of people (especially men) fail to realize. He says that some seem to think:

"sex is about a physical compatability or ability to gratify yourself and your partner in a relationship... It's a shame because sex is soooo much more than that"

I couldn't agree more. As I stated in my previous post

"I don't think casual sex is as worthwile and pleasureable as loving/committed sex."

I believe that sex is mental, spiritual, and physical. If you don't include these three powerful elements, your sexual episode will fail to reach its highest potential for satisfaction. Many people have never been "spiritually" gratified during sex. They don't know what they are missing! Alot of people haven't been mentally gratified...they get dissapointed. These aspects of sex are kind of abstract. The most readily Identifiable aspect of sex is the physical, and not getting gratified on this level is what many people focus on. They are really selling themselves short! If you really want be satisfied, you should try and connect ALL 3...but hey...some people are cool with settling.

I agree that the spiritual aspect of sex is important. But the physical aspect is IMPORTANT TOO! God made sex feel good ON PURPOSE! It's sole intention is not just for procreation. Its also a means to PHYSICALLY express your love for someone. If you can't do that, then there is a lack. I can tell someone I love them all day, but if I can't EXPRESS that love...verbally or in my actions, then there will be a lack. Just because you pray and have faith isn't gonna make everything alright. Faith with out acts is dead. Many people don't deal with the physical issues involved in sex, and retreat to spritual anecdotes. You have to APPLY that stuff. Just telling someone...you're my wife...I love you...now blow me. That woun't make everything all better. If they have issues about "checkin the mic" thats not gonna do it. You have to talk with her and see what the problem is and if she's even WILLING to work on it. Some have posted here who think "checkin the mic" or giving a woman a "taste test" is a SIN.

My point is the physical is just as important as the spiritual aspect. I don't think the spiritual should be ignored, but the physical part shouldn't be ignored either. The best way to see if you are on the same page physically is to crush before marriage. Sexual compatibility doesnt = Marital compatibility. Of course there's more to it then just having great sex...but were talking about sex in this forum...not the other aspects of marriage.

APHIAce is right on target, there is nothing wrong with enjoying sex physically. I think though that we sell ourselves short because the physical is all we strive for. Sex is physical, mental, and spiritual. I tend to stress the spiritual because I believe that the spiritual connection can only be made with that special someone whom God has set aside for you. Physical gratification can come from anyone willing to listen and satisfy,but spiritual connections come from eternity to infinity. For it is on the level of spirit that we can commune with God and also we can truly connect eternally. It is that connection that is strengthened and reaffirmed during lovemaking between a man and wife. True, just because you are my wife doesn't mean you will satisfy me sexually (physically) at first, but with the spiritual connection comes the knowing that you will fulfill me even more physically, mentally , and spiritually as time goes on.

Nope, that's where discussion comes in.
 

I don't have sex wit' ere'body (although I will be one to admit that the thought has crossed my mind more than one time and I KNOW some off ya'll out there have thought the same 'ting :) . I do have limits as to with whom I share my body with. They must be (in no particular order)...

1. Female (I don't get down like that 'though I don't have a problem if you do).
2. Between 17-30 (what can I say I like older women) :cool: .
3. Value education (that means no DUMB girls, I'm attracted to intelligence).
4. Have some religous belief/morals... (I don't claim a denomination because I believe it separates GOD's people but that is another topic. I currently attend an AME church)
5. ANTI-ABORTION (I'm against all things that ends in murder of humans but that is another topic as well).

And I have some other requirements, which is why I haven't slept with ere'body and anybody. I happen to like the mental aspects of sex as well because it should be exciting and fun, not just "sumptin' to do." Even though I could just do it, it wouldn't be no fun. That is why talking to the girl (see #3) is important to me.

To Steeltrap: I got what you saying because I almost got in a situation like that. But I always let women know what my stance is before anything goes down... I want to be part of ALL my children's lives (not just the ones I happen to have with my future wife).

Aight, that is Anuff drama for one night and I'm getting sleepy... will talk to yall later.

112

sex before marriage
 

I think that you should wait to have sex before you're married. That is what God intended it for. I will admit that I have had sex before even though I believe that it's wrong outside of marriage. The guy I had sex with I have been with for five years. I guess after awhile things just led to it, and it was hard to say no. I found out that my parents and everyone was right when saying that sex is meant to take place inside of marriage. Even though The first three years were great...we didnt have sex then. After we had sex our relationship went down hill. He became over protective and jealous...kinda fatherly. I became very jealous too. Sex just complicates things and finially destroys them. Me and my boyfriend over the past few months have stopped having sex. I think it's the best decision we've ever made. We plan on getting married within the next 2 years and we're going to wait to have sex again until then. It's really helped mature our relationship just in this short time, and know we wish we never would've had sex in the first place.

Excuse me, sir. I'm going to have to try this equipment out before I buy it. Sorry, I cannot just take your word for it.:D

I waited !!
 

I just want to say this to all those males or females that are keeping themselves for marriage -- GOOD FOR YOU!! I did it !! It was hard because I was so in love but God kept me. I am only speaking for myself but I am glad I waited. I think that in my case, having pre-marital sex would have made dealing with relationships even more complicated for me. I was twenty when I got married and I am twenty six now (will be 27 in July) -- I have six (almost seven) wonderful years of marriage under my belt and I could not be happier. Now I am not saying that staying a virgin will make a marriage successful -- believe me- it takes much more than that. I am just saying that it made things better for me in the initial stages of the relationship---NO PRESSURE!!

Anyway, that is just my $19.22.

UNIQUE97:D

Probably Not.....
 

I did it because I thought I was going to marry the person I gave my goodies to. We have been together almost four years and we have just broken up. So I say people should wait til marriage because you won't have to worry deal with alot of issues.

Re: Probably Not.....
 

CTFU at "gave my goodies to" reference.
:D