As a matter of fact, a girl has sent messages like that to GCers before.

First of all, to the guys.....I am not suggesting that you "threaten" anyone!!!!! What good would that do??? All I am saying is that instead of coming up with really supportive (detecting the sarcasm here) suggestions such as getting off GC if we don't like it, etc. you could just say something like "Hey sorry to hear that, that isn't cool." Or here's a wild thought....if you don't have something supportive to say, don't say anything at all. At the very least don't inadvertently give the few jerks that there are the idea that what they are doing isn't a big deal.

I for one don't need anyone to take care of anything for me.....do I think it is great that a sister took a stand for me? Yes!! I have no problem stating on here unequivocally that I am not looking to flirt or pick up a guy or generate male interest in me beyond friendly conversation on the boards.....I really don't care if anyone on here finds me attractive or not and I am not interested in sex talk beyond what we chat about as a group on the boards in a general fashion.

Finally, I just want to say that reporting things to moderators does NO GOOD.....beyond booting someone off there isn't a thing that they can do that I can't do myself. If they want to come back they are going to get another nic and come back. I think it would be a lot more effective if we just took a stand together as a group (remember, that's what we're supposed to be) and say "This kind of thing isn't acceptable." If there is anyone out there who thinks it's cute or funny or sexy or whatever, you all can get together on your own time and im and pm to your heart's content. I would hate to see this GC gang dwindle, and see really great people leave because of stupid stuff like this. Most of us have contributed good things to the group and to the discussion and it would be a shame for it all to fall apart over something that quite frankly, we should all be on the same side about.

WHOA, even though it's off the subject at hand. I NEVER contacted you offering support. You had replied to one of my posts in Kevin's thread and all we did was talk about what had happened. Nothing I said or did was factored because of us talking, therefore I didn't have to "offer you support."

Yes, the "you." Well, some of the "yous" are caught up and we didn't even want to be. How? By the starter of the thread wording her post to make it seem as though every guy on gc is an "asshole," and that IS how she stated it, mind you. And to be honest, that is part of what is going on here. Some "notable gc member" who posts under an alias and basically lashes out at the guys on gc, and maybe even some of the girls. What I find really weak is that I CAN guarantee that the person is still posting under the name they were using before they created that name. To me, all it is, is a scapegoated name, used so the person wouldn't have to directly deal with the "flaming" they got from some of the poorly worded statements.

Hey, I'll express concern if asked directly. But I refuse to after being placed in a category where the original comments about the gc men came from. And like you said you didn't need any help from anyone, but I take it that some people are asking the gc men to do something about this. 1. We don't know the person. 2. They aren't a gc regular. 3. If we threaten someone on the internet, it could be considered a crime. 4. Maybe the thread SHOULDN't have been started in the first place, considering that the person who sent the msg is obviously not of caliber with the other gc men. NOW, did anyone think of that point?!

"Crass, insensitive comments?" It's rather ironic talking about it because the first "crass, insensitive comments" were made from the person who started the thread, like I've stated many times already. And are the people that don't view it that way "missing the boat entirely?" Granted the person who started the discussion might not have wanted to state it the way it was said, BUT it was, and you have to understand, that's HOW some of the "GC MEN" perceive it.

Read what I just posted directly above this. 1. It's not just guys saying "get off GC." Some of the gc women have made comments as to reporting it to the mods and whatnot as well, let's get that misconception out of the way. Nothing supportive to say? Hell, the person that started the thread wasn't too damn supportive herself. Nothing supportive to say? Do you imply that we should all be "gung-ho" about this and be supportive?! "Lift up your keyboards followers, let us battle the almighty evil and contempt of Greekchat. It is the key to our salvation, and for Godsake be supportive about it."

Hey, for what it's worth, i'm sorry it had to happen, but, I didn't send the pm/im and i didn't make the initial "unsupportive comments" when the thread was started. Maybe if it wasn't meant to come out the way it did, the starter of the thread should have stated that long ago?

No offense, 33girl, but what is a moderator going to do? I don't think they necessarily have any special powers (other than to kick people out of chat rooms, post on the moderator board,etc. ) What are they going to do?? Especially if someone got a hold of your IM and is now abusing it by sending you rude/disgusting/invasive messages. There's nothing that makes moderators qualified to trace IP's, track people down, etc., although some of them may be very eager to help. Don't take this the wrong way - I have nothing against moderators on this board! :) I just don't think that contacting them is going to do squat to solve the problem. John is the only person who really do anything, and he's too busy to serve as our personal a*hole police, and besides, it won't do anything to stop this crap from happening in the long term.

That's why I really respect that HurlyGurly and anyone else brings as issue such as this to the boards and let's everyone know what is going on, so we can support each other, share ideas, and hopefully come up with a workable solution. It's easy to think you're the "only one" if you receive a message like this, so it is extremely helpful to be able to hear that you're not the only one!

If you don't want to read about other people's problems, and feel like it's wasting your time, - then don't read threads like this one! It's that easy. :)

And it's just as easy, if not easier to block, delete, expunge a pm/im or warn/block a certain person/user.

Also just as easy..roofle

Hey I have a question.....if the pms and ims that some of us have been getting are so ok, then what is the big problem with Hurlygurly's post? So she was mad!!!! I'm mad too!!!! Either we are offended by naughty talk or we aren't....there is not going to be a double standard here. I really feel bad that everyone is ready to tar and feather her for sticking up for me....she heard about my situation and it was just kind of the straw that broke the camel's back. I really wish I had started the thread myself. Maybe I would have used different language but hey....we have all popped off at one time or another. Just believe me when I tell you that she is not the kind of person who comes on here and starts flames and causes trouble....EVER. I am far more controversial than she is....so please everyone climb down off her back....she was just being a sister!!!!

Iowa....I am not really sure how to take your post about our symphony. I think all of us Chi Omegas are familiar with it. It is subject to interpretation....to me being womanly means standing up for myself and my fellow women and not allowing others to tear at my dignity. Being discouraged never, to me, means sticking by my principles even when everyone else seems to disagree, or seems to be jumping on a popular bandwagon. Obviously our symphony is public, not ritual, but I would venture to say that knowing what else is behind it, a Chi Omega is best equipped to interpret and use it.

Again, I am not suggesting or asking that any guys on here threaten anyone. All I am asking is that you don't support those who are acting inappropriately....but hey, even if you do, we'll survive.

Damasa, I don't think you have a very good memory, but that's fine. Go ahead and think what you want since you seem to have a bone to pick with me all of a sudden. :rolleyes: You did extend support to me. I didn't say that was the impetus for your posts on that thread. Big difference.

Seems like no matter what anyone on here says, you're determined to believe that Hurlygurly meant that EVERY GUY on here is an asshole, which is ridiculous. Your perception problems are not the focus of this thread. If you read what everyone else has said, it's been made clear that it isn't about every guy on this board. It's immature of you to think that. You are making some major generalizations about the intent behind what Hurlygurly said - like you're pulling at straws just to argue. ??? Furthermore, I've said it before and I'll say it again - THIS IS NOT JUST ABOUT ONE POST, ONE IM, OR ONE PM. THIS IS ABOUT A TREND THAT IS GOING ON AND NEEDS TO STOP. You are being so myopic in your view, it's really frustrating.

Furthermore, there is nothing weak about posting under an alias. In this crowd, I think it goes without saying that posting a controversial topic on GC or going against the flow can turn into a witch hunt pretty damn quickly. I don't know why that's such a big problem for you. She didn't lash out at the guys on GC - she lashed out at whoever sent her friend and sister a rude/disgusting IM. You seem bound and determined to believe that she was directly insulting you and every other guy on GC, and that she wants you to help her, none of which is the case, I can assure you! Maybe you should read over her post again, Damasa.

NO ONE IS ASKING THE GC MEN TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS! LOL. This was posted as an FYI and no one has asked GC men for anything. Again, I don't know why you think that and are taking this as a personal request from someone who doesn't even know you.

Furthermore, HOW do you know that this person is not a GC Regular, that we DON'T KNOW them, and that they
And no, it never did occur to me that this thread shouldn't have been posted, because I'm glad it was. You have no proof to back up anything that you "guaranteed".

You know, maybe if you had posted, it would have been better? Maybe you could have worded it better or something? Of course we all lash out sometimes, but lashing out at an entire group of people is unacceptable. NOW, I wouldn't even want to know what the reaction would be if i were to say something like "some of you little b(#$*es" referring to ladies on gc. First, I don't think that, because i talk to a few girls on here. Second, even if I did, thats just uncalled for, especially because not every single person is subject to a generally made comment such as that.

In all, I believe that the person who started the thread at least knew that it was going to possibly cause drama, hence the posting under a newly created nickname. Take that for what it's worth.

p.s. you say that she never comes on here and startes flames and/or causes trouble? Like i said a gizillion times, the way she simply worder her statements caused drama. Then by telling "us guys" we had better straighten it out!!! OMG, yea, most of us didn't even know about it, or would even do such a thing, but we are required to "straighten it out?"
I'm not talking about dirty lanugage, finger pointing or double standards. I'm talking about invalid arguments that keep trying to establish a baseless point. Yet, there are others who have posted which I do understand. Like I also stated before, this person is definately not of caliber of the majority of the "doods" on the great gc, so why was the thread created in the first place? That's my major quam..think about it, it if is a cause by one, or a very very small minority, why is the outlash directed at the majority?

Damasa, you seem to be taking this awfully personally. If I didn't know better (and I know for a fact you are not one of the troublemakers) I would almost think you were feeling guilty about this for a reason. Now I know that isn't the case, but why are you having so much trouble understanding that Hurlygurly was not talking about ALL of you.....by saying "you assholes" she was referring to the group of guys (who knows EXACTLY who they are) that DO engage in this kind of crap. And guess what? THEY ARE EXACTLY WHAT SHE CALLED THEM! There is no reason for you to take offense at something that was not aimed at you, unless you feel that there is a reason that it might legitimately be aimed at you.

Damasa, you are generally a great contributor to GC. You are funny and interesting....nobody is trying to attack you, not Hurly,not TriDelta, not me. Please don't take this so peronally. This problem is not as small or as limited as some people would like to think. Those of us who have had incidents have talked to each other about it and we have made the startling realization that our numbers are a lot larger than we would like them to be!!! Please understand that it is a problem and something has to be done....if not by the GC moderators and administrators, than by us ourselves.

Let me get this out of the way, tridelta4ever, I have no bone to pick with, it would be obsurd to think otherwise, but that would be of a different matter. I have a very good memory indeed, agreed i did extend support to you, but in no way did i seek you out in order to do it, you pmed me first :) and it basically went from there.

It is simple really, the way the statement was worded can make an interpretation of many sorts, doing what you do, of all people should know that. :) On top of it, how did everyone become an expert in interpreting what hurlycurly is saying? I don't see her stating exactly what she meant?!! A little clarification could extend a long way. On top of that, she made generalization by implicating that the guys do something about it :) I argue on the fact that many other people arguing for her have no basis or valid point to their agruments, mere generalizations and unknown implications, but i'm not going to get all philosophical.
One thing I do understand is that, yes, it may happen quite a bit, but I don't really know that and I really do feel bad for some of the women that may be subjected to it, but what can we really do?! If the moderators can barely do anything, what are the regular posters to do?
As for me being frustrating, it's frustrating to interpret that a few of you are experts on the wordings of hurlycurly which i find amusing because all it is based upon is perception and opinion, and further, you aren't a male reading her initial comments. Like I said, i could only imagine the outrage that would stem from me stating something like" some of YOU little b#*$#es, which I would never do.

From her initial statments, she lashed out at more than just the person that sent her friend the im and that is perceived by her statements. She doesn't want us to help her?!?! Then what was the statement about "you guys better straighten this out, blah blah blah?!?!" Huh? Tell me again? Who should read over her post again?

Again, reread her post, about you guys need to straighten things out. An FYI doesn't look anything like what she posted :) I don't take personal requests from anyone that I don't know and further, like i said, are you an expert on her post? You may know her indeed, but you didn't post, and like i said, mere wording can cause a world of hurt. Clarification is all that is needed....not by people that claim to know what she was saying, but what she was saying. And I won't directly go to her, because I don't want to be "one of those weirdos" eventhough i know who she is, but that's beside the point.

Good point, the person could be a regular to GC, I overlooked that. You have no proof to back up what you say about her not implying things either, and the only thing i guaranteed was that she is using her other nickname, I didn't put a personal guarantee on everything :) For that, I dont need proof, why would I be "that guy" and be like, hey everyone, hurlycurly is so and so, that's uncalled for...

d

(cracking knuckles)

(Insert slightly ungentlemanly comment here)

There are some females on GC that I find attractive, and I would like to go a couple rounds in the sack with if I were passing through your town. I really hope this tick turd hasnt hurt my chances of that. Sorry ladies, just keepin it real.

Ive been getting some pms and ims lately that have really been getting me a little po'd. I choked it up to the WAVE of greek nationals that are now on this site as registered users and I have not been responding to any pm's unless its one of yall. And yall know who yall are, so if yall need me, dont hesitate to pm me cause yall know id walk to hell and back for any of you.

Hey Hootie, if you cant fix your caps lock on your comp, feel free to contact me as I have a chainsaw that will fix that in a jiffy.

Did I just say jiffy?

Any harrassment that has been recieved is certainly uncalled for. And it sucks that it ruins the gc expierience for some cool people on here. Its sad that stuff like this happens on the internet but unfortunatly stuff does happen. Emailing the webmaster e-mail address here on gc would go a long way in letting john know what is going on. Ip addresses can be checked, etc.

I did feel that the original post in this thread wasn't as clear as what I started reading later in this thread. I am also not sure what the direction that this thread is going in would solve anything. Instead of being a warning thread, it has turned into an argument thread which devaites greatly from the point.

damasa, you miss the point over and over. We are talking about a problem and you are quibbling over a choice of words in describing it. What frustrates me is that you can't get past the semantics to the issue at hand.

I think when the phrase "some of you a-holes" was used it was meant as "if the shoe fits". If the shoe doesnt fit you then you ought to stop trying to put your foot into it.

Another thing too, since everyone I know here at gc would take offense to these pm's, im's, whatever.... don't post in the personal threads. If you get a harassing message, block it, report, it. We can't let stuff like this happen on gc and simply starting an argument thread isn't going to help

Yes, there is a point to it all, and I am sorry that someone had to receive a pm/im, whatever it was. What I find odd is that there are a few that are experts on the original thread, yes, you may know the person that posted it and know the circumstances.
MY point of view: I don't know the person, I don't know what she implied and by "quibbling over a choice of words" can make the difference in interpeting it correctly, or taking it as harsh words. I understand the issue at hand and it is truly sad, but to be honest, there isn't a whole lot many ppl can do, i have had a few awkward events on the net, i chalk them up to the "god I hope I don't get a msg like that again" and move on.
When you think about the phrase "some of you a-holes, that is exactly what you are thinking, an opinion, you take it one way, i took it another. Again, I don't know hurlycurly, like some of you seem to, so I don't know what she was truly trying to say, I was going on mere words. Which in all honesty, coming from a business world, words, expressions and gestures can mean the difference between a savvy business relationship and an utter fiasco. No way would I want to be perceived as a "net stalker type" at the same time, I'm in a sense trying to keep the "shoe" off of some of the other guys on gc. Most of the guys on here are hilarious, and are kewl as all hell to talk to....

wow - pure irony, damasa may be a big a%&hole but he doesn't stalk woman -

sorry but this thread has gotten ridiculous and someone's gotta add humour that's not from a southern-redneck-perspective

Moderators
 

Okay, everybody. I just read through all of the posts in this thread, so let me clarify a few points that caught my attention.

I think the main problem people originally had with the first post is that it was rather general. The person posting wasn't the one who received the nasty note from sexual deviant, therefore it was second-hand info from the very beginning.

That, combined with the fact that Hurlygurly is a new name on GC, is why a lot of people were skeptical as to the validity of the post. We're all a little too familar with psychos that create a flaming note as their first post just to create drama, and then sit back to enjoy the battle that ensues. So, please try to understand why the skepticism occurred with this thread.

If the person who actually received the notes had made the post, or even if Hurlygurly - a reputable, well-known GCer - had used her regular GC name, things might have not gone as far as they have. So, I offer this as a suggestion for future complaints:

Please, if you're having trouble with someone you think is from GC, report the problem immediately to a moderator and/or John Hammell. If possible, forward the note(s) you received to one of us so that we have every bit of info on the poster as you yourself do -- it makes it easier for us to find out who the person is and take steps to block him/her from bothering GCers in the future.

I realize that many of you are under the impression that the mods can't do anything to help you out in cases like this. The truth is, we can probably do more than you think. We can post the problem in the mod forum and draw attention to it that way - and John will see it there probably a lot quicker than he will notice it in Greek Life, Chit Chat or another GC forum. We can also "compare notes" to see if the current offender has anything in common with past offenders, and determine if it's a new "psycho" or an old one.

Also, by notifying us privately, we have a better chance of stopping the creep(s) because he/she won't be wise to the fact that he/she has been reported. By posting the thread in the open for everyone to see, it lets the offender know that someone is "on" to him/her and may make it more difficult for us to catch him/her.

By the way - I'm using both genders here because it's not just guys who have been sending nasty e-mails and PMs. I've gotten a couple of nasty notes from females myself, and they were just as disgusting as anything a male offender could write. A few other GCers have also.

As mods, we're here to help, so please take advantage of our presence. I can say, from experience, that I've received several complaints about certain GCers via PM, and have been able to get the offenders banned from GreekChat as a result. So notifying a mod directly DOES work. Please believe that. :)

Billy, Thank you for keeping it real, drama free, and making me laugh.

Erika - i am truly sorry that this happened to you b/c i know how youre feeling - its almost like being violated. when we can't stand on our own two feet, we have our sisters to lean on - and there's nothing wrong with that. but whoever did this, has 3 posts, has been on these boards for all of 2 months, and is so pathetic b/c they have to resort to online to manifest their sexual curiousities - theyre not worth dividing people.

That's better, damasa :)

Why? To deviate far from the point after awhile?:confused: The point of this is the fact that stuff like this shouldn't be happening. Then again, emailing the admin would have went a long way as well

I liked how Erika told us her boundaries. If we all our going to post our pictures on a thread, tell what we do for a living on another thread, our birthday is listed at the bottom of the page, and now we are meeting each other in public... we should also share with each other what is/is not acceptable when it comes to dating/flirting with G.C'ers.

I know one boundary I like having is with the AOL buddy list. I love having one- I love being on other people's buddy list but everytime I log on to AOL- give me 5 - 10 minutes to take a deep breath, read my mail, look at the bright colors before you bombard me with instant messages. I hope I don't sound like a rude East Coaster but has anyone else had someone in their past instant message them EVERY SINGLE TIME they logged on???? I'm glad you want to know how my day is going but do you need to ask me 5 times a day?
:confused:

Ok it took me awhile due to class, but I can now defend my position! The comment about the random bum, was this: Anyone at any time in a society as social as ours can ask or say something that will offend us. It's just something you have to deal with. You saying its virtually impossible, I have a friend who waitresses and an old guy asked her if she like to sit on his face so how impossible is it? And finally how dare you lump this A$$hole on me and guys in general, here's on for you. Last night I got my heart ripped out by a girl who wants to just be friends but likes to lead guys on, does that make you a b*tch? Should I now yell at every girl I see on campus due to the actions of one girl....no. I agree that what was said to you, was horribly lacking in taste, but dont freak out on everybody just realize there are freaks like that out in the world! And the 6uldv8 = sexual deviant, somebody probably said that already but oh well...

Ok SAEguy.....first off I'm sorry for what happened to you with the girl....it happens to everyone at one time or another and yeah, maybe this girl is a b*tch. Maybe she is a player and likes to mess with guys, and maybe there are a lot of others out there like her, in which case it would be appropriate to refer to them as a group. My point being, this is what Hurlygurly was trying to do----refer to the freaky guys as a group, not ALL guys. But that point is moot now, anyway....perhaps it was worded poorly and that is why non of the guys seems to understand that it wasn't aimed at all of you. At this point it hardly matters.

I think after 30 years I do realize that there are freaks out there in the world. But does that mean that I should just grin and bear it? I think not. That's like saying "you know there are rapists and murderers in the world, deal with it." I'm not trying to kick on you SAEguy, but you are relatively new to the threads and there is a lot that you have missed....there are a number of women on here who just don't feel comfortable anymore because of other things that have happened; I think many of us worry that any one of these unidentified renegade GCers might be one of our "friends" from the past resurfacing.

For what it's worth, SAEguy, I'm sure that your girlfriend wasn't a b*tch.....maybe she just didn't know what she wanted, which is an unfortunate but common affliction among the young college population. You will most certainly find another, I promise!!!!!!!

SAE-
I know this is off the original topic but I know you have been having a hard time with some girls. I remember the thread http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showth...threadid=15325

where your ex-girlfriend just wanted to be friends with you and you want more and now this girl from last night wants to be friends but leads you on.

I can see in your post that you are angry and you have every right to be... two girls in two months leading you on. My point is that I hope you can see what is going on here with GC objectively and not let these two women influence you and make you think all women lead men on.

I'm not pissed but if you hadn't cut my quote off, then you would have seen where I typed no. I'm not angry about it, I'm angry that people on here act like the things other do are my responsibility or the responsibilities of the guys on here I will rpovide the quote in a sec.

sorry one last post, there is a difference between offending someone and raping someone....

No Duhhhhhh!!! There are those who would take exception to the Gettysburg address because Lincoln didn't wear an undershirt that day or misspelled a word.

I think we are getting into a guy/gal thing. Ya know, where the woman wants to be heard and get her feelings out and the guy is picking apart the syntax, or digressing on her choice of an analogy.

SAEGuy, learn something here. I DONT care if a word is mispelled, I DONT care if the analogy is overstated...I DO care if you HEAR me, I do care if you GET the message. All I want is for YOU to act somewhat sympathetic, and nod your head once or twice....Geeze.

ps: I didn't say this to be spiteful of mean spirited. I think you really don't know what we want.

Thank you Billy for adding some humor to this thread. I'm sorry, but this post has to be the most worthwhile one I've read all day.

I think this thread is total confirmation of last night's chat discussion.

wow what a commotion! Well as always I have to drop my two cents on the matter. Well kids(no pun intended) it is the internet, there are tons and tons of creeps a like all over our little lovely Cyberspace community. although Hurleygirl, I am truly sorry for such a distatseful pm that was sent to you or your sister, but it does happen, especially here on the internet.
Although, I don' t think all this commotion/drama should be dropped on SOME (not all as we have seen) of the great guys here on GC. Although they may have their faults (sorry guys, u know what I mean) they are still some pretty great people.
I also think in the future we all know such things go on, there are things u can do blocking the address, the screename, and so forth, alerting the moderator for that forum or really any moderator. As well as the big kahuna John.
But thats just my two cents, hope all is well for everyone :D
DGP~Honey~

Did anyone else notice the pyscho is back a.k.a Bridget3D? I don't know maybe it just makes me so mad because she claimed to be a TriDelt...
I shouldn't have said anything, IT feeds on attention.

Anyway, back to the issue at hand...

H200t, I do understand that you want a head nod and show of support so first off here it is. I think that the pm sent was in no way right, it was gross, vulgar and in complete lack of taste, she should never have had to read it. No here's where you extend your hand and we meet in the middle, as bad as that pm was, when you are online you know that you open yourself up to such things. Like I told DGPhoney through pm, if I didnt want comments on here I wouldnt have posted. By simply being here you invite some losers to do this stuff, I agree you should notify a moderator and block the name/address. But also dont throw this on all the guys, yes we all have our faults lots of them, does it mean we are responsible for every lunatic freak on GC just because we are guys? I really hope someone can grasp my point I'm not agreeing with the wierdo I'm just saying I cant stop every wierdo from making stupid comments.....

Thanks.

SAEguy, just PM you get back with me if can!:)

Good post by the by!:) :cool:

There sure is a lot of debate going on about this topic. The main issue here seems to individuals contacting other people in a harassing/obscene/threatening way, while using the website features of GreekChat and/or other Internet services.

Just about every single Internet service has rules (aka terms of service / acceptable use policy) regarding the use of their services. These rules govern the use of services such as instant messaging programs, email accounts, web host providers, Internet service providers & websites such as GreekChat.

The rules for using GreekChat are posted at http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/register.php and must be agreed to before going on to register with the site.

There's no reason for anyone to have to tolerate abuse from another person using a GreekChat service or those from another Internet provider. I encourage anyone who is contacted in such a manner by another GreekChat user to send details of the situation to me via email at john@greekchat.com In order for me to be able to take action against abusive users of the site I must be made aware of the situation.

And, while I may not be able to technically do much about users of other networks - I usually can be helpful in finding where to send complaints to these other networks.