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Quote:

Originally Posted by HereComesTheSun (Post 2290702)

Well later that night, my stomach was in knots and all I could think about was how I made the wrong decision and I should have suicided.

Then at around 1 in the morning, I get a call from my sister telling me I got a bid from ADPi. I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me. I told her to stop kidding because my sister is a jokester, but she was being completely serious and told me that I was in the top 25 of the bid list and she talked to my friends in USC and I was on their first bid list, but not that high, so unless I suicided, I wouldn't have been in USC.

I cried and cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I was so shocked, hurt and confused. I talked to my Rho Gamma and she told me I was under no obligation to go to bid day if I didn't want to and if I still had just one little ounce of wonder if I got in USC to go to bid day breakfast, but after talking to my sister. I knew it wasn't a joke even though I hoped and prayed it was.

I went to the bid day brunch and we waited and waited to see what bid we got or if we're sticking to the theme, get their college acceptance. At the end when our Rho Gamma passed us our envelopes, I could see through and it said Rutgers. So ironically recruitment was like my actual college application process and I didn't get into USC. :rolleyes:

I started crying and I cried even harder when my friends were jumping next to me screaming because they all got their number ones and everyone ran out of the room to run outside to their new sisters and I just cried and then left. The worst part in the world was that USC and Rutgers are next door neighbors and just feet from each other, so I had to see everybody in USC screaming and embracing their new members and I had to walk with my tail between my legs to Rutgers.

It's still even hard to this day.

It's been three weeks since recruitment ended and I talked to my big and just dropped today. The straw that broke the camels back was when I went to the chapter and one of the older members said: "We know you really liked USC, but we put you in the top 10, so we got to have you instead of them." They said those exact words and that was the end for me.

I talked to the director of Greek Life at my school and explained what happened at Rutgers and what went on and she told me I actually wasn't the first person that this happened to and there are other girls that complained of this happening at Rutgers.

I actually talked to 2 other girls in my pledge class that were legacies and had the same exact thing happen to them.

I feel so disappointed with what happened and I honestly feel robbed of a good sorority recruitment experience. I wish I could make it a happy ending and I wish I could have stuck it out, but I couldn't make myself be a part of something that just wasn't for me.

It hurts telling this story and it hurts to have to see all of my friends in my hall go to swaps, get ready for chapter and have retreats and get excited for homecoming and getting initiated. But I stand by my decision, even if it hurts me.

You weren't robbed, you just didn't get the experience you expected.

Best of luck to you.

I'm sorry you're unhappy. I don't think that if you were actually on your first choice's first bid list that it matters where your second choice ranks you.

Also, those are some pretty egregious recruitment infractions you've been throwing around. You shared those with the head of Greek life and there was no concern?

You tell an enjoyable story, but I think a lot of it is just that, a story.

I was so hoping that you would get USC. I feel absolutely horrible that you weren't rushed for YOU, but as your sister's Legacy. Yes, we love our legacies, but for who each legacy is, not just for their family.

Well, maybe if you're a five or six generation legacy, there's a lot of pressure...

I hope you get a chance to go through recruitment again, and have a much happier ending!

Quote:

Originally Posted by amIblue? (Post 2290710)

It's not just a story and I wouldn't go through all of the trouble to tell a story that didn't even have a good ending.

I talked to the director of Greek Life and she said since I wasn't the only person this happened to at that chapter, that they were looking into it, but that was 2 days after I got my bid, so I have no idea what the status of that investigation is.

Before I talked to the director, I sent her an email and in the email she said:

"Each chapter submitted a list of the women who attended their parties on Preference Day. For some, that was 115 women and for others, it was 180 women. Quota (the number in a pledge class) was set at 52, so we essentially match women in the top 52 of their list. If a PNM is higher on another’s list, she will go to that chapter and the other sorority will look at number 53, and so on"

I did not just make up a story just for the heck of it. I wish it didn't matter where my second choice put me if I was on my first choices bid list, but apparently thats the way it is.

There are some inconsistencies here, however. I don't know the size of quota where you were so I'll make up some numbers. Let's say quota was 30. The first 30 people are put on the list in ALPHABETICAL order, not priority. There is not a #1 pick on the list. So you were not placed in their top 10 (unless quota was 10). If you were also on the first bid list of your preferred chapter but further down the list, let's say position #20, that doesn't make any sense because USC's first bid list is also alphabetical. You would have had the exact same position on both lists. Positions 31 and lower are placed in priority order. By the rules of most sororities (and it sounds true in this case), if you are a legacy and get invited to preference, you automatically go on the first bid list. Which, again, is alphabetical order. Person #10 has no more priority than person #30. If you put USC as your first choice and did not get into that chapter, they did in fact NOT have you on their first bid list. I'm sorry, but that's just how it works some times.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DubaiSis (Post 2290714)

Well if thats the way it works, then thats the way it works. There's not much left for me to do now but wait until next year for recruitment. Thank you for giving me a clearer explanation.

You have been misinformed. Bid matching does not work this way. Period. You go to your first choice even if you are dead last on their list IF they haven't met quota by the time they get to you. Where your second choice ranked you has no bearing on your bid UNLESS your first choice ranked you too low and they filled to quota before hitting your number on the list.

Unfortunately, your sister has led you down a sad path by first poisoning you against a group that didn't, in my opinion, do anything but offer you a chance to become a sister. She then filled you with misinformation that led you to be so mad about your situation like the chapter had taken away your choice (which is far from the truth) to the point that you dropped out before even giving it a real chance. It's a shame she couldn't have left her bad feelings for her chapter to herself so you could make decisions based in your actual time there rather than tainted by her bad experiences.

ADPi didn't rob you of a bid to USC. Only one or two people in a chapter know what order people were ranked, and like DubaisSis said, the first list is alphabetical anyway. ADPi gave you a bid when USC didn't. Period. I'm sorry you will miss out on all the fun of being a sorority member. I guess there is always next year.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HereComesTheSun (Post 2290672)

Before I left my dorm, my sister called me and told me she had officially sent in her resignation letter and went alum. I was not surprised at all. She told me not to feel pressured and to make the decision that was best for myself and only myself and go with my gut instincts. She said her gut instinct was to drop her sorority before initiation and go through recruitment a second time or do informal, but she got intiated instead regretted it wholeheartedly because now she is bound for life, no matter what.

This part is incorrect. You EITHER get early alum status OR you resign. Resignation does not get you alumnae status. Resignation actually severs you from the organization and you are not bound for life. Early alumnae status is a privilege granted in some organizations, usually for a specific reason, which varies from sorority to sorority. Simply being unhappy with the sorority is not a valid reason.

If you sister resigned, I don't think that you were actually still a legacy at the time the bid lists were determined. Ironic.....

Bid lists are no longer entered in alphabetically because chapters are given a quota range...not a solid quota number when bid lists are submitted. So it is top scores and down. You only find out quota on bid day.

You were not high enough on USC's bid list to get a bid. It doesn't matter where you were on Rutger's list. If you ranked high enough on USC's list to match before they met quota, then you would have matched with them. If you were#50 on their list and quota was 52' you would have matched even if you were #1 on Rutger's list.

You can take that to the bank.

Speaking as an alum from this school, I am sorry about your experience. But I can promise that with a re-colonization on the horizon, the school and the Greek life director are "dotting the i's and crossing the t's." I am by no means an expert on bid matching but I am under the impression that if you are in the top let's say 52 because that is what quota was, of your first choices list, you will be getting a bid from that chapter. This is where I could be wrong, so if I am someone please correct me, but if you are in the top 52 at your top choice it doesn't matter where you are on the bid list at your second choice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel (Post 2290717)

You have been misinformed. Bid matching does not work this way. Period. You go to your first choice even if you are dead last on their list IF they haven't met quota by the time they get to you. Where your second choice ranked you has no bearing on your bid UNLESS your first choice ranked you too low and they filled to quota before hitting your number on the list.

Unfortunately, your sister has led you down a sad path by first poisoning you against a group that didn't, in my opinion, do anything but offer you a chance to become a sister. She then filled you with misinformation that led you to be so mad about your situation like the chapter had taken away your choice (which is far from the truth) to the point that you dropped out before even giving it a real chance. It's a shame she couldn't have left her bad feelings for her chapter to herself so you could make decisions based in your actual time there rather than tainted by her bad experiences.

ADPi didn't rob you of a bid to USC. You can stop spreading that misinformation around and accept the fact that USC ranked you after the other girls on in their new pledge class. And, I'll save you from posting again that your sister's friend in USC said they ranked you in the top 10. Only one or two people in a chapter know what order people were ranked, and like DubaisSis said, the first list is alphabetical anyway. ADPi gave you a bid when USC didn't. Period. I'm sorry you will miss out on all the fun of being a sorority member. I guess there is always next year.

I didn't say my friends in USC said they listed me in the top 10, I said a girl from Rutgers said to me.

I gave it a real chance, I stayed 3 weeks and I don't want to stay longer because initiation is at the beginning of October for the chapter and I wouldn't want to just stay until days before initiation starts.

I know they offered me a bid, but my recruitment experience and the way I was just pigeonholed with my sister and not treated as an individual.

I'm not trying to knowingly spread misinformation and i'm just saying what i've been told and whether it was wrong or not since I no nothing about how either of those chapters select members.

I'm disappointed it didn't work out either and considering I dropped today, I did at least give it an effort.

I just hope recruitment will be different next year.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladybug12 (Post 2290720)

Thank you. All that talk about alphabetical is not correct. You explained it perfectly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HereComesTheSun (Post 2290723)

I didn't say my friends in USC said they listed me in the top 10, I said a girl from Rutgers said to me.

I gave it a real chance, I stayed 3 weeks and I don't want to stay longer because initiation is at the beginning of October for the chapter and I wouldn't want to just stay until days before initiation starts.

I know they offered me a bid, but my recruitment experience and the way I was just pigeonholed with my sister and not treated as an individual.

I'm not trying to knowingly spread misinformation and i'm just saying what i've been told and whether it was wrong or not since I no nothing about how either of those chapters select members.

I'm disappointed it didn't work out either and considering I dropped today, I did at least give it an effort.

I just hope recruitment will be different next year.

I think we know you are not trying to spread misinformation. We just want to be sure that you are clear on how bid matching works. We also want to be sure that other PNMs who read your story later will not misunderstand how the process works. Good luck if you try again next recruitment.

If you do choose to drop, start thinking NOW about what you can do this semester and in the spring to improve your outcome. Join organizations. Meet as many people as you can. Keep your social media clean, and keep your reputation sparkling.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HereComesTheSun (Post 2290702)

Well later that night, my stomach was in knots and all I could think about was how I made the wrong decision and I should have suicided.

Then at around 1 in the morning, I get a call from my sister telling me I got a bid from ADPi. I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me. I told her to stop kidding because my sister is a jokester, but she was being completely serious and told me that I was in the top 25 of the bid list and she talked to my friends in USC and I was on their first bid list, but not that high, so unless I suicided, I wouldn't have been in USC.

I cried and cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I was so shocked, hurt and confused. I talked to my Rho Gamma and she told me I was under no obligation to go to bid day if I didn't want to and if I still had just one little ounce of wonder if I got in USC to go to bid day breakfast, but after talking to my sister. I knew it wasn't a joke even though I hoped and prayed it was.

I went to the bid day brunch and we waited and waited to see what bid we got or if we're sticking to the theme, get their college acceptance. At the end when our Rho Gamma passed us our envelopes, I could see through and it said Rutgers. So ironically recruitment was like my actual college application process and I didn't get into USC. :rolleyes:

I started crying and I cried even harder when my friends were jumping next to me screaming because they all got their number ones and everyone ran out of the room to run outside to their new sisters and I just cried and then left. The worst part in the world was that USC and Rutgers are next door neighbors and just feet from each other, so I had to see everybody in USC screaming and embracing their new members and I had to walk with my tail between my legs to Rutgers.

It's still even hard to this day.

It's been three weeks since recruitment ended and I talked to my big and just dropped today. The straw that broke the camels back was when I went to the chapter and one of the older members said: "We know you really liked USC, but we put you in the top 10, so we got to have you instead of them." They said those exact words and that was the end for me.

I talked to the director of Greek Life at my school and explained what happened at Rutgers and what went on and she told me I actually wasn't the first person that this happened to and there are other girls that complained of this happening at Rutgers.

I actually talked to 2 other girls in my pledge class that were legacies and had the same exact thing happen to them.

I feel so disappointed with what happened and I honestly feel robbed of a good sorority recruitment experience. I wish I could make it a happy ending and I wish I could have stuck it out, but I couldn't make myself be a part of something that just wasn't for me.

It hurts telling this story and it hurts to have to see all of my friends in my hall go to swaps, get ready for chapter and have retreats and get excited for homecoming and getting initiated. But I stand by my decision, even if it hurts me.

The bolded is what I'm referring to. Your sister set you up for disappointment. You may have stuck it out three weeks, but all that time you were stewing over the fact that you were robbed. I also doubt very seriously that you were pigeonholed in the way you are describing. Your description of Rutgers this entire thread has been very closed minded because of your sister's words. If you really are an individual and different than her, you should have been able to make this decision for yourself without her input. It's amazing how innocent comments can be misconstrued when you don't want them to be innocent. Do you see what I'm saying? I hope you'll have a better experience in the future, but I seriously doubt that Rutgers is the villain your sister made them out to be.

The problem that I see is that what was said (about her being in the top ten on Rutgers' bid list so that is why she ended up there) was incorrect. For the love of Mike, that is NOT how bid matching works. ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH.

It wouldn't matter where she was on their list, if she was high enough on USC's list to get a bid before they hit their quota. And bid lists are score-based, not alphabetical. Further, every chapter (sorority) has its own legacy policy. No universals.

ETA: is this a situation where putting down only one chapter (Single Intentional Preference) would have worked in her favor? I'm sure she's wondering.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AZTheta (Post 2290731)

The problem that I see is that what was said (about her being in the top ten on Rutgers' bid list so that is why she ended up there) was incorrect. For the love of Mike, that is NOT how bid matching works. ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH.

It wouldn't matter where she was on their list, if she was high enough on USC's list to get a bid before they hit their quota. And bid lists are score-based, not alphabetical. Further, every chapter (sorority) has its own legacy policy. No universals.

ETA: is this a situation where putting down only one chapter (Single Intentional Preference) would have worked in her favor? I'm sure she's wondering.

She wouldn't have a bid at all with SIP. She couldn't be a quota addition without maximizing her options. The only benefit would be not being bound to Rutgers for a year. The whole situation sucks, but all of it could been avoided if big sister had just kept her thoughts to herself. Hopefully, HCTS will make the most out of her freshman year and go through again on her own terms.

^^^thanks. It can't be explained or said enough times. I agree with your assessment.

One more thing I would like to add is that your pledge class now makes up at least 25% of the chapter, the seniors will be gone quicker then you can imagine. You don't realize the power your class has. If you like your pledge class, recruit the kind of women you guys want. If you didn't like how they recruited you, then push for change. Be the change, a sorority can be so vastly different in 1-2 years. If you think you could see your self living with the women in your pledge class, then stick it out and make it what you hoped it would be.

Um why are we continuing to call ADPi "Rutgers". Why continue to pretend that we don't know that ADPi was "Rutgers".

We all know that older sister hated ADPi to the point that she resigned her membership.
We all know that the chapter is struggling as the house isn't full.
We all know that the chapter was dirty rushing.
We all know that PNM's have complained to greek life about said chapter.
And we all know that the OP hated going to the chapter.
Oh and we all know that the OP felt ADPi "robbed" her of being in USC (whoever that is) because older sister explained bid matching horribly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASUADPi (Post 2290739)

Yeah, that's exactly why I'm calling them Rutgers. They don't deserve to have this thread pop up when you google.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASUADPi (Post 2290739)

Although I really did want to be in USC, I didn't feel just robbed from them because I can't be robbed from a chapter I was never actually a part of. I felt robbed of having an unbiased recruitment process where it wasn't just "your sister this" "your sister that" and being pressured into something.

And I would prefer if you please used the pseudonyms just out of respect for them because somebody said earlier where the school was and I don't want that to be out there, hence the aliases.

I didn't know which school it was (never can figure these things out, don't even care). I didn't know anything about ADPi at said school. We ALL have struggling chapters.

Having a younger sister who was a freshman when I was a senior, I can certainly understand the OP's frustration. That's what I'm taking away from this thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by thetalady (Post 2290718)

She's bound for life in the sense that she can never pledge another NPC group, whether she self terminated or not.

And if someone did say the school name in this thread I missed it because calling the sororities by names of schools was confusing as balls.

This really is a tough situation. :/

While I do feel for you, I also feel that your sister's experiences really did taint your opinion of ADPi from day one. Dirty rushing or not, these girls seemed interested in you (if they had such a bad relationship with your sister...why would they if not because they liked you?).

Like others have said, a new pledge class can make the world of a difference in a chapter. Heck, mine did, and after two classes left, our sorority was ON FIRE, killing it at recruitment, and just had a totally new dynamic and feel.

I'm sorry about what happened. Please try again next year (or through COB or informal if that's possible) with an open mind, and try to remember...ADPi could be your blessing in disguise.

HCTS so sorry that Recruitment did not turn out like you hoped. Sending you best wishes for school this year and for whatever you decide to do in the future,

If this ADPi chapter is truly struggling they might be better off without these two ladies. One was a negative, grumbling sister who spread her negative views to a PNM and the other was a PNM who wasn't interested in giving the chapter a fresh look with her own eyes.

This chapter's best chance for a positive future is positive sisters.

Good luck next year, HCTS.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASUADPi (Post 2290739)

And we all know that there are major holes in this story...her sister resigned membership, yet knew where she was on the bid list? NOPE.

I'm sorry this happened to you.
What I don't get, and haven't gotten since the begining is if your sister knew you didn't want to be a part of her organization, why she didn't tell her sisters this. She could say that she was abstaining from membership selection all she wanted to, but if she knew that this was going to make you unhappy, she should have had them drop you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HereComesTheSun (Post 2290746)

Um hello YOU are the one who gave it away by saying that your sister called saying you got a bid to ADPi!!!!!

YOU are the one who broke your code! Don't you DARE get on me about what you have been bitching about in regards to my sorority!

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaggieXi (Post 2290786)

Exactly Maggie! Older sis could easily have told her chapter that HCTS was not interested in Rutgers and that they should not invite her back to the next round. But maybe HCTS sister was actually not in good standing with the chapter, hence the behind the scenes rush job assignment, and the sister submitting her letter of resignation AFTER recruitment. I mean, if she was that unhappy, why wait?

I cannot speak on the membership selection for Rutgers, but I find it hard to believe that a member in good standing would be allowed to opt completely out of membership selection-perhaps she would be allowed to leave the room if she was a sitting sister whose own PNM sister was being voted on, but she would return for the other voting.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HereComesTheSun (Post 2290702)

Well later that night, my stomach was in knots and all I could think about was how I made the wrong decision and I should have suicided.

Then at around 1 in the morning, I get a call from my sister telling me I got a bid from ADPi. I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me. I told her to stop kidding because my sister is a jokester, but she was being completely serious and told me that I was in the top 25 of the bid list and she talked to my friends in USC and I was on their first bid list, but not that high, so unless I suicided, I wouldn't have been in USC.

I cried and cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I was so shocked, hurt and confused. I talked to my Rho Gamma and she told me I was under no obligation to go to bid day if I didn't want to and if I still had just one little ounce of wonder if I got in USC to go to bid day breakfast, but after talking to my sister. I knew it wasn't a joke even though I hoped and prayed it was.

I went to the bid day brunch and we waited and waited to see what bid we got or if we're sticking to the theme, get their college acceptance. At the end when our Rho Gamma passed us our envelopes, I could see through and it said Rutgers. So ironically recruitment was like my actual college application process and I didn't get into USC. :rolleyes:

I started crying and I cried even harder when my friends were jumping next to me screaming because they all got their number ones and everyone ran out of the room to run outside to their new sisters and I just cried and then left. The worst part in the world was that USC and Rutgers are next door neighbors and just feet from each other, so I had to see everybody in USC screaming and embracing their new members and I had to walk with my tail between my legs to Rutgers.

It's still even hard to this day.

It's been three weeks since recruitment ended and I talked to my big and just dropped today. The straw that broke the camels back was when I went to the chapter and one of the older members said: "We know you really liked USC, but we put you in the top 10, so we got to have you instead of them." They said those exact words and that was the end for me.

I talked to the director of Greek Life at my school and explained what happened at Rutgers and what went on and she told me I actually wasn't the first person that this happened to and there are other girls that complained of this happening at Rutgers.

I actually talked to 2 other girls in my pledge class that were legacies and had the same exact thing happen to them.

I feel so disappointed with what happened and I honestly feel robbed of a good sorority recruitment experience. I wish I could make it a happy ending and I wish I could have stuck it out, but I couldn't make myself be a part of something that just wasn't for me.

It hurts telling this story and it hurts to have to see all of my friends in my hall go to swaps, get ready for chapter and have retreats and get excited for homecoming and getting initiated. But I stand by my decision, even if it hurts me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2290780)

And we all know that there are major holes in this story...her sister resigned membership, yet knew where she was on the bid list? NOPE.

It was an older member who told her where she was on the bid list (and explained bid matching poorly). NOT her bio sister.

/all I have to contribute to this thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2290780)

And we all know that there are major holes in this story...her sister resigned membership, yet knew where she was on the bid list? NOPE.

Yep. I called Bull Shit early in the story.

To the OP, very few people know on which bid list you land and where you are on the second bid list. They can't tell you if you are #1 or #100 of their own chapter's list, let alone where you land on another chapter's list.

Typically, viewing the list is limited to 2-4 people, which includes the alums and at no time are paper copies to be floating around. They are always to be shredded after they are entered. This prevents girls who end up pledging your chapter from knowing they were dead last on your list, even though they got a bid.

Also, your sister doesn't just "resign" by sending a letter. It's a process that she would need to go through since initiation into a chapter is for life and not until you feel like moving on to another hobby.

It sounds like things were meant to be. Get involved in other organizations and enjoy your four years.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASUADPi (Post 2290787)

No kidding. She also completely gave away USC's identity to anyone who wants to figure it out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shirley1929 (Post 2290798)

It was an older member who told her where she was on the bid list (and explained bid matching poorly). NOT her bio sister.

/all I have to contribute to this thread.

Reread the second paragraph.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladybug12 (Post 2290720)

So there is no such thing anymore as "first bid list" "second bid list" is what you're saying? If that's the case then is any "legacies invited to pref must be on first bid list" rule down the drain? Maybe that's what her sister and the older member meant by "top 25" and "top 10" - that legacies get some sort of a point bump during voting that assures they're in the quota range.

I would say sorry to tread on MS but that horse is way outta the barn in this thread. Also, I feel like Chris Farley with the air quotes now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HereComesTheSun (Post 2290392)

Philanthropy day!

Today was the day! I was so scared to see which chapters invited me back? Would I get a full schedule? Would the houses I love invite me back? Questions were flying everywhere! For some reason, Panhellenic at my school could have passed for directors of thriller suspense movies because they waited until the absolute last second to give us our schedules. Our Rho Gam passed us our schedules and I looked at it but didn't even internalized it, my eyes just glazed at it.

I was invited back to:

1. USC
2. UCLA
3. Wake Forest
4. Pepperdine
5. Arizona State
6. Rutgers
7. UMich
8. Princeton

I was absolutely shocked, both good and bad. Princeton and USC invited me back, which I was relieved of because they were amazing. But UGA and LSU dropped me. UGA was kind of a long shot since I guess they were considered a "top" house, but I did have a good friend in there and I was surprised I didn't get invited back to at least one round. But what hurt the most was LSU. I loved LSU soo much and honestly I would've been content being dropped from half the houses I got invited back to if LSU invited me back. But it is what it is and I still got invited back to 8/10 houses. That 80%.

But oddly enough, I got invited back to UMich, which was a huge shocker since they have the best grades on campus and my GPA was average at best and apparently they always drop the most girls because of their grades and being completey honest, i'd droppped UMich and Ole Miss because I knew they had the highest grades and I didn't think I had any chance of being invted back to them. But I still got invited back to UMich which was amazing!

But worst of all, I got invited back to Rutgers. I wasn't surprised because as a legacy, I'm pretty sure i'm supposed to be invited back to at least one round, so it wasn't a shocker, but I was still annoyed.

Meanwhile, all of my close friends in my Rho Gamma group got invited back to all 10 houses, but I kept reminding myself that I would only be joining one. Meanwhile, one of my friends in a different Rho Gamma group got invited back to only 1 and another friend in a different rho gamma group got invited back to 3. 2 of them she hated and one of them she loved, USC. Luckily we both loved them and got invited back to USC and we even went there together for our party!

So first I went to USC, who was amazing as I expected. at USC I was paired up to talk to all of my good friends in the house. I had great conversations with all 3 of them and the conversations went seamlessly and it was almost too perfect. I didn't remember too much about their philantrhopy or what they actually do, but I still had a great time there and going there first put me in a great mood for the whole day.

Next, I went to UCLA. Their philanthropy is probably one of the most popular on campus and I went to it with my sister last year and had a good time. I loved their philanthropy and their video was so sad. I only talked to two girls there and the conversations were kind of boring, but I still liked them. I was talking to one girl at UCLA and she spilled her water all over me! It was actually really funny and she felt so bad, but since I didn't have a full schedule, I had 2 breaks after this and had more than enough time to dry off.

After my breaks, I went to Wake Forest. Their philanthropy was also really sad and I actually had really good conversations there. A lot better than yesterday. I feel like they got to know me a little better today. But another awkward moment happened today! We were doing their craft which was pretty serious, concerning the topic and I was talking a lot with my hands and knocked lemonade all over the craft.... The girl was really nice about it, but I still felt awful! I was red the whole time and couldn't wait to get out.

I then went to Pepperdine. I liked Pepperdine and their philanthropy video was so sad because a girl in the Pepperdine chapter at my school was affected by it and their philanthropy was really close to home for her, which made them all the more passionate for it which I thought was really sweet. Everyone was talking about this chapter because today they served iced coffee which was awesome because sbeing at the houses longer and having to go back to back was so tiring. Anyway, I talked to really nice girls here and they told me about their philanthropy events, which sounded really fun. I really liked Pepperdine.

Next was Arizona State. Again, their philanthropy was really sad because it was a cause that a lot of people identify with and was close to home for me as well. The conversations weren't as good, but their craft was really fun. We made paper hearts out of dollar bills and put them into the jar of our choice which represented a specific chairty, which was awesome. Honestly their video was really long and their craft was so detailed that we didn't even have time to talk. I hardly remember this house.

The one I dreaded all day was Rutgers. When I got there, surprise surprise, I was picked up by somebody I already knew and somebody I talked to the day before. I wasn't trying to be outwardly rude because I have more manners than that and their philanthropy was one I actually volunteered for a lot during high school, so I showed interest, but honestly it was so hard in this house. Similarly, my sister called me the day before and said she got into a really big arguement with the girls in her chapter the other night during membership selection and decided she was not going to participate in the membership selection portion and just made hundreds of italian sodas all day long. Again, at Rutgers they kept on talking about my sister, which was confusing because she seemed to hate it so much and they kept on asking me how recruitment was going and how I liked Rutgers, which didn't seem right to me and was getting on my nerves because my recruitment wasn't their business and my sister knew I loved USC and she said she told some of her closer friends in the chapter that USC was my favorite, which didn't bother me because hopefully then they'd take the hint.

The next chapter I visited was UMich, who I was excited for because they were giving me another chance and it felt like I was giving them another chance since my conversations during Open House weren't that good. I loved UMich today! Their philanthropy sounded like a lot of fun and I liked what it stood for. And this was the first chapter that actually talked about their social calendar, which was interesting to hear. We talked about swaps, formals, Greek Week and Homecoming, which was interesting to hear!

Last, but definitely not least was Princeton! I was excited to be back here as well, because I had awesome conversations. They definitely pulled at ALLLLL the stops today. They played their philanthropy video, which seemed like it was a commercial or some type of ad because it was made by one of the girls in the house and they looked like models. They video was super short and then throughout the living room they had mini golf! They had those fake golf greens, hot pink golf clubs with hot pink golf balls that had their letters on them. Again, I was extremely impressed with their showmanship. They're considered a "top house", but I had a friend my cheerleading who was in this house and dropped last year. Apparently there was a bit of a scandal and some infighting and about a dozen girls either dropped or got dropped last spring. That scared me, but I still really liked them.

The next day was house tours and we could only got to up to 7, so I could only cut one. I didn't really care for Arizona State anymore, but there was no way I wanted to be in Rutgers, so I ranked Rutgers at the bottom, so I preferenced just like this:

1. USC
1. UCLA
1. Wake Forest
1. Pepperdine
1. Arizona State
1. Princeton
1. UMich
2. Rutgers

Today was a surprise and I didn't think i'd get the schedule I got, but I'm happy with the ones I got back. Now I waited anxiously to see how House Tours Day would turn out!

Quote:

Originally Posted by HereComesTheSun (Post 2290672)

Preference day is here!

Today is the day. Preference day is the final day before bid day and it seemed like that week dragged on, but went faster than the speed of lightning.

I put on my best dress, wedges and my favorite necklace and mentally prepared myself for what could have happened. I didn't get a call the night before saying i'd been released. So I could've been invited back to one chapter or both.

Before I left my dorm, my sister called me and told me she had officially sent in her resignation letter and went alum. I was not surprised at all. She told me not to feel pressured and to make the decision that was best for myself and only myself and go with my gut instincts. She said her gut instinct was to drop her sorority before initiation and go through recruitment a second time or do informal, but she got intiated instead regretted it wholeheartedly because now she is bound for life, no matter what.

That definitely scared me and my heart was jumping out of my chest before I left.

We walked to the area where we usually get our schedules and all of the color had been drained out of my face and I had no idea what was going on or what my schedule even was, but I was expecting the worst.

I finally got my schedule and the look on my face was priceless.

1. USC
2. Rutgers

The same schedule as yesterday. I was so excited I made it this far with USC because I had other friends that got dropped from houses they knew a lot of girls in during recruitment and I was so relieved that I got invited back to my number one again. But I still got invited back to Rutgers which amazes me to this day. I left a conversation midway to go to the bathroom andd cry and came back with my face red and tear stained and barely said a word, but I still got invited back.

Luckily I got invited back to USC so I could put my absolute best foot forward and really let them know that this was where I wanted to be and could proudly wear the letters for for the rest of my life.

I walked to USC very determined and one of the girls I talked to earlier in the week pref'd me and I absolutely loved her. She was so nice and I was excited that she was the one pref'ing me. This day was the longest so we talked about everything from how recruitment was going to what stores we could spend our ladt penny at.

She was a senior, so she was talking about how much she loved her chapter and how hard it was to go through recruitment for the last time because it's just another step on the way to graduating and becoming an alum and that made me emotional because the fact that she loved it so much and was so dedicated really made me 10 times more passionate about USC. So I started crying and she started crying and then we were laughing at each other and it was just really nice.

I was crying because I loved them so much and they invited me back every day. I was crying because the girl pref'ing me was so sweet and I didn't want to see her leave her chapter even though everyone eventually does. I was crying because I was afraid of bid day.

After the conversations ended, we went into their living room and other seniors in the chapter were reading letters and then they sang songs and it all was just so moving. My friends in the chapter cried and hugged me at the end and I cried again to and they told me everything was gonna be alright.

I left USC happy, scared, confident and content.

Then I had to go to Rutgers.

Rutgers was seriously scaring me because my sister is an initiated member and per national policy, legacies that make it to preference are automatically put on the first bid list. That scaring the living hell out of me.

When I went to Rutgers, a girl I already knew before who was also the Executive Vice President was pref'ing me. Like any other day I visited, it was awkward.

She asked me general questions like how I was doing, how recruitment was going for me but then she started asking me questions that had me very taken aback. She asked: "So do you know what houses you're choosing? Do you know what decision you're gonna make?" I was stunned.

1. Yes. I knew exactly what decision I was going to make.
2. Why the hell was it her business to ask me? I didn't ask her if they knew who they were giving bids to.
3. As an older woman who holds an executive decision, she should know better not to ask a PNM such a question

But besides all of that, I wasn't going to be outwardly rude or tell her what I was going to do because again, it just wasn't her business. So I just replied: "Yeah, i'm pretty sure what i'm gonna do But making my decision might be a little hard." She then was like: "Well, you look conflicted, I can reassure you." She then was talking about the chapter and all the the things they done and awards and competitions they've won and just how close their sisterhood was and how they weren't like the other chapters that were cliquey and didn't have what they had and I was honestly digusted.

They took us to their living room where girls were singing songs about the chapter and in between, she kept saying how conflicted I look and was telling me more about the chapter that I honestly didn't care about and I was just itching to leave and make my preference. I wanted to leave and crawl out of my skin.

When it was finally over, she gave me an awkward hug and said: "Hope I made your decision a lot easier!"

After we visited all of our chapters, we were allowed to do our final preferencing. I looked at the preference card and read the agreement one last time. One of the Rho Gammas asked me if I needed any help or needed anyone to talk to about what I was going to do and in hindsight I kick myself for not listening to her, talking to my own Rho Gamma because maybe things would have been different.

But all I could think of in my mind was the director of sorority and fraternity life saying 88% of the women who maximized their options got their first choice and I remembered the girl in my Rho Gamma group saying the worst mistake she made last year was suiciding. And I remembered what I had read on Greek Chat saying women who suicided were not eligible to be a quota addition of a chapter.

Tha scared me and so I preferenced USC as first and Rutgers as second.

I turned it in feeling confident about my decision and following the rules.

When I left, I saw my friend who had Rutgers and USC just like me and suicided just USC. She said: "Well if I get a call tonight, that means I didn't get a bid and if I don't that means I got one."

After that, I immediately regretted my decision.

Spoiler: She never got the call that night and now is a proud member of USC.

All the other posts have been quoted, so just QFPing these as well.

OP- you are a great writer. However, there are several elements to the story that just don't add up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2290817)

This was the new way of doing bids on the campus I help with last year. Greek Life gave us an estimated quota and said rank the PNMS using this quota number. So instead of doing the A list alphabetical and the B list by rank, the entire list is done by rank. I would guess each sorority would have their own way of putting legacies within the quota range to ensure that they are at the top of the overall list.

This thread was a fun read! :D

I love our GC-NPC sleuths.