Because I get the feeling that she thinks if she resigns she'll be free and clear to pledge an NPHC.

I will also add that Greekregret is feeling the way many members feel in the early years of their collegiate experience. My own daughters felt out of sorts and out of place during the first year or so as they learned to navigate alcohol. Boys, freedom, academic pressures, etc. it wasn't instant perfection and it wasn't because they joined the wrong group.

I say this because I am not sure if you are being fair to your npc group, especially if you left that school before you really built those lifetime friendships - which do NOT happen overnight.

I will agree accept that you are regretting not joining a nphc group but feel you are overlooking (and stereotyping!) the positives of your npc. The grass will always look greener is you don't use some fertilizer and TLC on your own yard.

My advice is to fake it til you make it and some day you may find an alumnae group of your npc, join it, meet some wonderful women (black or white) and learn that your npc group is so much more than those immature 20 year olds you met in college.

PS. Why did the arkansas Greek life advisor get mentioned in this thread?

You can't do that, right? I thought that you can't be both NPC and NPHC. You have to choose and once you choose, you're done.

exactly... unless you lie.

I appreciate the advice I've been given. I dont think that if I resign i will be free to pledge an NPHC group. I said that I had seen a thread on here where it said it might be "technically" possible, but I wasnt sure of the process anyway. I doubted the likelihood of that being allowed from the beginning. I am focusing on my grades at this point. They werent too bad, just not up to my normal standards. These are just thoughts that I wanted feedback on. I didnt come here to rile anyone up. Also despite how it may seem, I was serious about never lying about my former affiliations in the event that i resigned and someone asked me for whatever purpose. I did a thing and feel it was a mistake. I'm not ashamed about it, I just don't want to make any of the women who are in the organization upset at this point. Well, not at any point. Like I said, my feelings may change...but I don't think they will.

Okay, I can't stay quiet in the corner.

So you took life time vows and you want to go back on them (or already have gone back on them by terminating from your GLO.) Now you want another GLO to take you seriously enough to allow you to take vows again?

Sorry but doesn't this sound like stealing a husband (member) from another woman (GLO 1) and then wondering why he (member) cheats on YOU (GLO 2)!

[I can't help it, it's just the divorce attorney in me.]

So there's nothing to do about the "wrong choice." She can let it go or wallow.

I do not think GreekRegret is insisting that she be allowed to join an NPHC. She was simply expressing that she feels she rushed into something without thinking it through and is sorry. Re-read her original post. She turned to the board to see if we can advise her. Plenty of people early on explained that she has no options with regard to joining another group. I don't think we need to beat up on her for asking the question.

Do I think she is misguided in blaming her group for why she didn't do well? Yes. But I think she left her school before she could correct her course, and now it is easy to blame those girls for her bad experience. She is experiencing regret...for the whole shebang: her choice, her behavior, etc.

Thank you for understanding. And I do realize that I am responsible for not asserting myself. I guess I just wish that they hadnt thought encouraging that behavior was ok. But I get that it was ultimately my choice to do what I did.

Buddha taught that we are, none of us, the person we were yesterday.

Please stop beating up on yourself. Please step away from the entire situation. Please give time time. Focus on your academics. Take the focus off the past and others' behavior or what you wish could have happened differently. There are no do-overs in life. Let it go. It's in the rear view mirror.

There are other women who have had a very similar experience to yours. I know of several in my own chapter as well as in other chapters. You're still growing into the person you're going to become, and that is going to change throughout your life. It's going to work itself out, it always does. Good luck to you.

Awwww now I feel all warm and fuzzy. It isn't the vanilla hot tea that I'm drinking.

Good luck to GreekRegret. Just don't show up in a year claiming you joined an NPHC sorority. I will cyber whoop your behind. :p

Thank you! I just believe in "teachable moments." I think this certainly counts. I hope that some positives can come out of this situation.

*sniffle*

DrPhil, I do my very best to be an equal opportunity warm fuzzy giver. Except when I'm annoyed. Which seems to be increasing in frequency and intensity.

And agzg, I have hot cocoa, soft cushy pillows, and cuddly dogs for you. Feel better?

Expecting your big sis or other "older" members in the sorority to be responsible for your education and decisions is a heck of a lot of pressure and high expectations to put on 19-22 year old girls, don't you think? Did you ever consider asking your big sis or other sisters for help or suggestions in how they managed to party and maintain their grades? I'm sorry that you felt like just "another girl to party with" and didn't feel encouraged to study and focus on your academics, but to be honest, you can find that sort of environment anywhere in college. I hope for your sake that you have been able to find a balance and some friends that do make you feel encouraged, but even more so that you have become strong enough and disciplined enough in yourself that you can focus on important things even when someone is trying to sway you.

Your organization is bigger than your chapter. MUCH bigger. Focus on school, meet people and make new friends, find other activities. I would encourage you to get to know some of the wonderful women on this site that are involved alumnae of their organizations and have been for several years. They are great examples of lifelong membership which is what you pursued, were offered and accepted. I'm sorry you regret your commitment, but you still made the commitment and there is still a lot that you could learn (and enjoy) from your sisters and your organization. You could also give a lot back to your sisters in the future by encouraging young women to strive for academic excellence.

My advice is, if you don't feel connected to your ritual, maybe reach out if there's a chapter nearby to be of service?

Hey GreekRegret, I understand your situation as I went through a similar one myself but with a non-panhellenic group. My mother has always wanted me to join a NPHC sorority but for superficial reasons. I at first thought it would be better in the sorority I chose to pledge because she didn't "control" me in college. I joined then realized I didn't fit in as well as I thought I did during my pledge period. I stayed anyway because I assumed I just wasn't giving things a chance. I don't hate being an alumna of the sorority but I do wish I had truly reconsidered my membership when I had the chance. Things have worked out for me to not join a NPHC or NPC sorority but along the way, I've learned a lot about myself and from GC, about sorority membership in general.

I ended up transferring to a new school due to other reasons and am now more focused on bettering myself as a student and woman. I'm joining groups on my new campus and even considering starting a group (once I get stable enough to do so.) I've learned to not regret my choices as they were what I wanted at the time; lessons learned. I hope you are able to find groups on campus that help you realize there are more opportunities to bettering your college experiences than you know! Please reconsider all of the positives in your current situation and look to using them to bettering yourself. :)

Diana: She can't join an NPHC group...they don't allow this. That boat has sailed for her once she was initiated into the NPC group.

Who is the "we" for whom you're speaking?

From your other posts, I see you are not Greek, at least not yet. Perhaps on a question like this, you should defer to those who are Greek, who know the rules of their sororities and conferences and the reasons for those rules.

Wow. Sorry, but you don't get a vote. What you think might be interesting to you, but doesn't change reality. NPHC groups have rules, too.

Interesting that you want AI specifically into an NPC organization. Good luck with that.

Queen Victoria has spoken from beyond.

Diana007:

wow.

This.Is.Interesting.

Do you have anything to share about Greek yogurt, perchance?

And we are not amused.

Neither is "Panama."

Well. This just got confusing. When I read her post, the first thing that came to mind was "We are Legion. We are many. You are one." Haha. Okay, I'll just see my way out...

Crafty spammer?

:confused:

Am I too tired or are none of these posts really stringing together?

Nope. Not stringing together one bit. I have no idea why Diana007 is telling us her life story, why she was using the royal "We", or why she wants the OP to join an NPHC when she's not allowed to.

Anyone's guess is as good as mine.

wait... what?

Have you thought about starting your own sorority?

Yes, can't believe she didn't think of this already.

It should be an online sorority!:cool:

OP: I'm sorry you've been disappointed with your sorority experience, but as you have learned what's done is done. The lesson to come from all of this is that YOU are now an adult, and as such, you are responsible for yourself. It is not your sorority sisters' job to make sure you are making grades, prioritizing, eating right, going to bed on time, etc. Your sorority sisters are not responsible for your general welfare. Your sorority has not replaced your parents. Rather, you have left the nest and are responsible for these things. Your sorority is a social organization and a way for you to make friends and get involved with the college community. Take it for what it is and own up to the fact that your mistakes are your own. A big sister's job is to sponsor the little through initiation, not to remind you to eat your vegetables, go to class and study. Now that you are an adult, your life is your own. Make good decisions and take responsibility when you make bad ones, as here. Good luck to you.

please step away from the keyboard. you are not presenting yourself in a positive light.

fwiw, the NPC ship may well have sailed for you. you may wish to investigate other organizations.

You have graduated. You, at this point, can no longer "look into NPC" groups. Find something else to do with your time and MAYBE somone who is an NPC member MAY ask her group about you being an AI. But it comes to you - not you to it.

Interesting that you want to be in an NPC sorority, when GreekRegret, who you apparently know quite well, wants to dump her membership so badly. Maybe you could just swap places. :rolleyes:

Sounds a whole lot like you might have been the one to push GreekRegret into her NPC membership, even though "she only ever wanted an NPHC group."

My lovely sisters who are not white are not pretending to be anything. They are Kappa Deltas.

As someone who was raised Catholic, I'm not pretending, either.

I was wanting to give you the ESL benefit of the doubt, but I find I cannot do that since you're a non-lying WASP. You're also a moron, bless your heart.

First of all, this better not be GreekRegret or some other sock puppet trying to distract GC.

Second of all, Diana007 is both correct and incorrect. Anyone who has read and understood that "diversity in the NPC" thread and other GC threads knows what's up.

DianaOO7 doesn't have the experience to say one way or another. She doesn't belong to either an NPC or NPHC sorority. If my sisters or a member of an NPC or NPHC have something to say about diversity in the NPC, they have the experience to say something.

She needs to stay in her lane.

Some of that is her lane just like it was my lane when I was in high school and college to determine that NPC wasn't what I wanted. I didn't just wake up one morning as a Delta so it was definitely my lane before pledging Delta to research and pursue this NPHC sorority. :) Nonmembers are not so clueless and nonobservant.