The story would have best been continued with Hunger Games names instead of the actual names of the houses.

I'm not offended at all. Recruitment is incredibly draining, and it's a rare PNM who isn't emotionally overwrought at some point during the process. She didn't get her first choice and that stings. This may very well be the first 'big' disappointment she's ever had, and that sort of shock can make you blind to the positive side of things (positive being, of course, that she received a bid to a wonderful organization that will provide her with fantastic opportunities over the next four years). Hopefully she'll pull it together and make the most of her Bid Day, and in the very near future, when the hurt of not getting what she wanted wears off, she will realize that her new chapter has great things to offer her and will fulfill her potential to be a great sister in that chapter.

When the criers transfer their affections, they can be just as strong for their love or stronger, because it is based on more than unicorn farts from rush.

If we're being honest the whole process is a little (or a lot) surreal for these young ladies. A week full of highs and lows and one last rejection - ego is bruised (again) and the emotions are all over the place - the reaction isn't surprising. Add to that PNMs always feel they are the absolute only one who didn't get their #1 choice. I admire these young ladies for shedding their tears quickly, putting on their big girl pants, and going out there and giving it a shot. I hope Lucy finds her home in her chapter whether it takes a day, a week, a month, etc. Best to her.

That was hilarious....and I think VERY true!:)

Congrats to Lucy on Sigma Kappa! I know that they are a wonderful chapter that I was sad to see leave my schedule, and I am sure that she will grow to love it. It is really hard to receive your second choice (I was mentally preparing myself for it all day), but in time I hope she grows to be happy.

I think we need to keep in mind that women in these chapters go through the same disappointments. They get a rush crush who goes to another chapter and are sometimes very sad on bid day too. That doesn't mean they don't end up loving the young women who are their new members too.

An awful lot of women go to their second choice, or even third choice- or accept a snap bid to a chapter they ranked low early in the process. Things work out in most cases.

Please give Lucy my very best on her Sigma Kappa bid! I have a SK cousin who loves, loves, loves her sorority. Getting ANY bid at Clemson is well worth celebrating!

Congratulations!!

Congrats to Lucy and ΣΚ! I hope she embraces the whole experience. She's very lucky to have someone like love2read guiding her through the process.

The whole thing reminds me of a pregnancy craving. You normally love chocolate cake, but someone mentions pickles and suddenly you can't stop thinking about them. If your heart is set on those pickles, it doesn't matter how amazing chocolate cake is at first- you were set on pickles! You have a choice to either embrace the chocolate cake that you've always loved and have in front of you, or pine away for the non-existent pickles. Then- bring on that amazing chocolate cake!

I disagree. In the original GC recruitment stories, no codes were used at all. Dgdramadawg's annual threads are a great example of how every single woman has a unique experience, perspective, and reaction to the same groups within the same week. Maybe I just prefer realism though.

I loved reading this story - I feel it is absolutely the real version of what happens between a pnm and her mom/friend/mentor on Bid Day when the pnm doesn't get her first choice.

If you have been in their shoes (and I say "their" because this process definitely sucks in the mom/friend/mentor to the drama) you can feel the stress and tension, the emotion and angst that they have been experiencing. And, then, that whole pref day/bid day experience - well it is spot on.

I am sooooo hoping Lucy is giving SK every chance they deserve. I hope that she gets some sleep, and eats a few good meals, can think about something other than rush for a whole day and see if she is feeling less emotionally scarred. She will, no doubt, have regrets if she walks away. I can guarantee it.

And, I hope all of us that often get pissy with moms and pnms who cry to us the few days after rush about not getting their first choice will remember Lucy and this thread and how easy it is to let the emotion and intensity of recruitment get in the way of rational thinking.

Sending warm thoughts to Lucy and all of the other pnms this month who are digging through their drawers looking for their one pair of big girl panties in the middle of all those Victoria Secret thongs! :)

Best quote ever!

And I hope that Lucy is falling in love with her sorority!

I sent Lucy a text this morning asking how yesterday went and how she was feeling. She said she was feeling better but that she didn't "click" (her words) with "some" of the girls.

I encouraged her to give it 3-4 weeks (as she needs to ride the wave of disappointment as everyone has mentioned). I also reminded her that SK saw something special in her. I told her that things happen for reasons and she is meant to be an SK.

As I left my phone sitting in my A&P class/lab room, I'm not sure if she responded to my text or not. I have to go back and pick it up from security (thank god they found it).

She is in the bid day picture that clemsongirl posted in the bid day pictures thread. She is smiling in the picture too.

thetygerlily- your pregnancy example is the best! I might have to use that example to her or any other PNM.

etadrisophila- I want this thread to be real. Real life isn't always puppies and rainbows. We have TONS of threads where the PNM gets her first choice and she is super happy. We also have threads where the PNM has gotten her second choice and is still happy. I can honestly say, I can count on 1 (maybe 2) hand(s) the amount of threads (that have been completed and the PNM didn't drop) where the PNM isn't happy with her bid. That is real life.

The reality is, Lucy like SK earlier in the week. She just needs to take her disappointment and remember what she liked about the chapter earlier in the week.

I just went and checked out the SK photo posted by clemsongirl. That is a large new member class, and there has to be some girls that Lucy will click with! It is a beautiful photo!

My daughter recently pledged AGD at UGA. She was not invited to prefs at the sorority that she had loved all week and really had her sights set on. She went to prefs (under some duress) and completed her bid card (reluctantly). When she received her bid she was very hesitant. She knew without a doubt that she wanted to be Greek, but she was still in a fog of disappointment and hurt.

For one week the calls and texts were neutral and measured and then all of a sudden everything shifted and the enthusiasm and joy burst through! She is one very, very happy AGD at this point and, as cliched as it sounds, she says she can't imagine herself anywhere else. I had read stories like that on this site, but was so afraid that she wasn't going to be one of the happy ones and I am sooo glad that she is.

Tell Lucy to just keep attending, keep meeting new sisters and to stay open and willing. Sometimes trusting the process just takes longer than expected.

Great news PearlGirl.

I can't help but think that some of the disappointment must stem from the PNMs having to readjust and rethink their choices after every round(at least that seems to be what I am seeing with the 20 something PNMs I wrote recs. for around the country). Everyday (for the most part) they had to find a new number 1, over and over, even up to prefs. and THEN they don't get their new #1 pref. choice.

There is just so much readjustment a person can make in a short period of time. But hopefully, if they all give their sorority a month or so, they will all see that there are sisters that they love to hang out with, and fun parties to go to, and wonderful philanthropies to support.

<3. I hope she grows to love it even more. That chapter has a great bunch of women.

Oh I understand that. I was concerned about there possibly being too much detail and identifiable information about Lucy - I didn't want her sisters & pledge sisters to be able to figure out who she is! I hope things are going well for Lucy - and you sure have been a wonderful source of inspiration and support for her.

etadrisophila- Thank you for your concern! That is one of my concerns also. I really am trying to not give to much information. Which is also why I changed my username for this thread.

Lucy has decided to give SK a chance!

I told her the pregnancy, chocolate cake and pickles analogy. :)

Tell Lucy I met my best friend of over 25 years at SK, we were pledge sisters together and have been through all kinds of things together. So glad to hear she is giving it a go!:D

Also please tell her that after college many of us have met sisters from different chapters who have become some of our greatest friends as well as panhellenic sisters who also fall into that category!

I double LIKE this quote! So true!!!!:D

I 100% agree with this! My best friend is a Soror from another chapter, and I have been embraced by so many from other chapters! And many of my close friends are members of other sororities! (As I am reading this, one of my favorite Zeta's was walking away from my desk ;)) I love all my SisterGreeks!

There are women in my OWN chapter who I didn't really click with in college, and became my best friends once we entered the real world.

I'm officially a dork...

I just checked out Lucy's facebook page and 4 of her new sisters posted on her page welcoming her to Sigma Kappa.

I actually cried. It was so sweet. It's like these sisters new that she needed that. I'm hoping that it touched her, but I don't know. It touched my heart. LOL.

I'm such a dork.

-----

To my lovely Sigma Kappa's out there, I'd like to get Lucy a gift. What would you suggest?

Totally! One of my good friends is an AGD. When I get back to AZ to visit I totally plan on meeting AZTheta and AXOadvisor and DesertRose and they are all in different chapters!

I love my SisterGreeks. We should totally make a shirt saying that! Put all the sororities symbols and say "I love my Sister Greeks". :)

If she didn't get one as a bid day gift, maybe either a Lilly Pulitzer or Tervis tumbler? They both offer Sigma Kappa options and seem quite popular down here. Tervis will monogram theirs for you, but you might want to consider getting one of those vinyl monogram decals to stick onto the Lilly one if they are popular in her chapter, because otherwise there is no way to tell yours from every other sister's.

Update....

Quite honestly I don't know what Lucy is going to do.

One minute I look on her facebook page and I see her with her new sisters in pictures and she is smiling and she seems happy. The next I'm getting a text message saying that a girl in her pledge class has dropped and that she still isn't sure if she is "feeling it". She also was concerned because her first payment was due today.

I kind of gave her "tough love".

I told her "you need to decide if you want to give it a try or not. It takes more than a week to get to know people. Plus you are held to your bid for a calendar year, which means you can't go through any type of recruitment until next fall. You need to think about those things you told me about sk at the beginning of recruitment. Remember those things you liked about them. But in the end you have to follow your heart".

I truly don't know what is going to happen. She hasn't responded to me. I hope I didn't hurt her feelings because that was never my intention. I've always been honest with her about recruitment and expectations. I'm not going to start sugar coating things for her now.

Oh I hope she stays with it! I almost wish I knew who she was so I could go talk to her in person...doubly so if she ended up being one of my residents (I'm an RA)! I hope the tough love speech got through to her as you are totally right and sugar coating won't change the fact that she is bound to them for a year. Is she a freshman or an upperclassman? If she's a freshman than she has a chance of re-rushing and being more successful, but if she isn't than this will likely be her last chance at Greek Life. I wish her the best in making this tough decision.

clemsongirl-I'm not sure if she is living in the dorms or not. She is a sophomore.

I did talk to Lucy about an after I posted. I wanted to make sure she wasn't mad at me for my "tough love" speech. I also wanted her to make decisions for herself not based on the rumor mill of campus or what a girl in her Pi Chi group decided to do.

She messaged me back saying she wasn't upset with me and that she has decided to stay in Sigma Kappa! She is giving it a shot!

She has her first chapter meeting tonight. She is still on the border but I truly believe now that she has made the commitment to stay in the chapter that she will grow to love it!

As soon as I get more money I do plan on buying her a gift.

Question for those of you- would it be weird, if she decides to initiate, to write her a letter congratulating her on her choice to initiate and ask her big to give it to her?

Not weird at all, very thoughtful of you!

Lucy has chapter retreat this weekend. Doesn't sound like its mandatory as she said she was "thinking" about going to "get to know more sisters". I encouraged her to go.

I got in contact with some Sigma Kappa's who have been AMAZING! They have pointed me in the right direction and I'm now in contact with one of Lucy's chapter sisters. She has agreed to "help me" surprise Lucy with a letter for initiation.

I feel like a mom who is proud of her daughter. (Which if I had been a 15 year old teen mom, she could be my kid, but I wasn't).

I actually just thought of the perfect present for her too.

Any update on Lucy and how she is doing?

Yes please!

Lucy is doing much better!

She has joined her chapters dance team.

I have encouraged her to run for a leadership position within the chapter (not that I know when their elections are).

I have been in contact with an advisor of the chapter who put me in touch with the new member educator. I can send my letter to the new member educator.

She is still making new friends. I'm glad that she continues to get involved with the chapter.

Great news!!

I am so happy to hear this! Greek Life at Clemson is full of so many wonderful opportunities to get involved and find your niche. Glad she's growing to enjoy it:)

Yippee!!!

I'm debating between a necklace and a lily print. I'm not sure which she would like more. I'll just have to "casually" enter it into conversation and ask her. :)

Update:

Lucy was tagged in some pictures on Facebook, when I checked them out they were pictures of the big/little reveal. She had the biggest smile on her face.

I sent her a Facebook message and asked how she was doing. She told me that she so happy that she GAVE SIGMA KAPPA A CHANCE! She is beginning to LOVE SK!!!!!

Initiation is this weekend. I am so excited for her!

Lucy's story is proof that if you are willing to keep and open mind and give your 2nd or 3rd choice a chance, things may just work out for you.

I am so happy about this!!!!!! I've met some wonderful SKs through Junior Panhellenic and they're some of the sweetest and nicest girls you will ever meet! Seriously, this happy ending just has me beaming.