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-   -   Decided to rush last minute- a couple of questions (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=129708)

33girl 10-01-2012 09:13 PM

Thanks, because I was going to think of a fun word for Romney :)

In all seriousness, if this organization does give you a bid...you need to let them know you are married. I hope that in this day and age being married isn't forbidden in any NPC groups, but you never know, and it would be rotten on your part to make them unknowingly violate policy.

And beyond that...they need to know this info, from your mouth, unless you're never going to introduce them to your husband. Don't "assume" that they checked your Facebook and so everything is hunky dory.

DeltaBetaBaby 10-01-2012 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2182429)
\ I hope that in this day and age being married isn't forbidden in any NPC groups, but you never know, and it would be rotten on your part to make them unknowingly violate policy.

I am shocked that it is even a possibility! Do we actually know of groups that have this rule?

honeychile 10-01-2012 10:08 PM

Alpha Delta Pi used to have that rule, but I think it's been removed.

As for the bucks, look at it this way: what if a bid is given to someone who truly cannot afford it? Maybe it's literally thousands of dollars, by the time housing, dues, parlor fees, etc are all counted. There may be some people better prepared to pay for the sorority experience.

And if you only knew how much I hate, hate, hate writing that, but it's a reality. Even on my campus, there was one house that was so much more expensive than the others that they basically only took legacies and the rich girls!

DeltaBetaBaby 10-01-2012 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeychile (Post 2182458)
As for the bucks, look at it this way: what if a bid is given to someone who truly cannot afford it? Maybe it's literally thousands of dollars, by the time housing, dues, parlor fees, etc are all counted. There may be some people better prepared to pay for the sorority experience.

I agree, but this is better probed in a different manner (e.g. presenting financial info and asking about any questions/concerns).

ASTalumna06 10-02-2012 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2182473)
I agree, but this is better probed in a different manner (e.g. presenting financial info and asking about any questions/concerns).

This!

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGreek (Post 2182389)
I've never thought of it as a weird question to ask. I know other people think it's tacky/taboo, and I avoid doing it myself, but I don't get offended when people ask what my parents do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeychile (Post 2182458)
Alpha Delta Pi used to have that rule, but I think it's been removed.

As for the bucks, look at it this way: what if a bid is given to someone who truly cannot afford it? Maybe it's literally thousands of dollars, by the time housing, dues, parlor fees, etc are all counted. There may be some people better prepared to pay for the sorority experience.

And if you only knew how much I hate, hate, hate writing that, but it's a reality. Even on my campus, there was one house that was so much more expensive than the others that they basically only took legacies and the rich girls!

To ask what someone's parents do in order to find out how much money the PNM has is a flawed system. Maybe the PNM's parents have all the money in the world, but they don't intend to hand over thousands to their daughter.. or maybe the parents don't have the best jobs, but the PNM has been saving her money since the tooth fairy first left her a dollar under her pillow.. or maybe you can't really tell from their profession how much they make. Using my dad as an example - if I told you what he did for a living, you'd probably think he didn't make much money at all. But he's been with the same company for 40 years, and they definitely take care of their employees. He does VERY well. But at the same time, it's not as though he hands over any money to me.

And aside from the financial aspects, I think it's weird to bring up parents in any way, shape, or form nowadays. The nuclear family is no longer the norm. The Huxtables and Cleavers are in many ways a thing of the past. What if someone asked you what your father does, but your father ran out on you and your mother after you were born? Or what if you were asked about your mother, but she had passed away a year earlier from cancer? Or what if both of your parents just got divorced? Or what if one of them was just laid off? Or what if you were asked what your father does, but you actually have two mothers?

In addition, some people simply don't have a good a good relationship with their parents. I've had sisters that cringe at the mention of their parents. I knew of one sorority member whose father physically abused her. I had one sister whose parents tried to control everything she did, and they didn't show up to her wedding and objected to the whole thing because they didn't like her husband.. for no flippin' reason. I feel like parents/family is a topic to stay away from unless the PNM brings it up.

SoCalGirl 10-02-2012 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2182358)
Boys, booze, bible, and bank account.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat (Post 2182414)
Just go with "ballots." ;)

We also included business (chapter business). It covered everything from "how do you pick your members?" to "Why are there more girls in the other chapters?"

CautiousSenior 10-02-2012 08:40 AM

Well, last night was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

I contacted the office of Greek life earlier in the afternoon to inquire if my marital status would be an issue. They contacted the chapter and let me know it was not an issue :D

So last night I ran into the arms of my sisters and had an amazing evening.

I hope you don't mind that I'm not planning on revealing my affiliation- internet privacy hyper-vigilance... it's pretty easy to figure out my school based on dates, and there aren't too many married new members running around :p

Thank you all for your encouragement, advice, and well wishes! I'm very excited to be part of the panhellenic community, and I am very excited to really get involved in not only the service, but in the sisterhood!

chi-o_cat 10-02-2012 08:48 AM

Congratulations! I'm so happy it worked out for you. I hope you enjoy your experience.

KillarneyRose 10-02-2012 08:57 AM

Congratulations!

naraht 10-02-2012 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CautiousSenior (Post 2182523)
Well, last night was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

I contacted the office of Greek life earlier in the afternoon to inquire if my marital status would be an issue. They contacted the chapter and let me know it was not an issue :D

So last night I ran into the arms of my sisters and had an amazing evening.

I hope you don't mind that I'm not planning on revealing my affiliation- internet privacy hyper-vigilance... it's pretty easy to figure out my school based on dates, and there aren't too many married new members running around :p

Thank you all for your encouragement, advice, and well wishes! I'm very excited to be part of the panhellenic community, and I am very excited to really get involved in not only the service, but in the sisterhood!

Congrats!

I hope that you don't mind that your thread turned into a discussion of what not to discuss. :)

CautiousSenior 10-02-2012 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by naraht (Post 2182526)
Congrats!

I hope that you don't mind that your thread turned into a discussion of what not to discuss. :)

Not at all- it's a forum. Lane swerving and derailing the thought train are par for the course!

AZTheta 10-02-2012 09:50 AM

Congratulations! (and appreciate that you get the lane swerve/derailing stuff, too! It's GC, after all!!!)

CautiousSenior 10-02-2012 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzTheta (Post 2182533)
Congratulations! (and appreciate that you get the lane swerve/derailing stuff, too! It's GC, after all!!!)

More like the internet in general. Another forum I am part of has some of the most bizarre derails ever- this is actually at least related to the topic at hand, LOL!

adpiucf 10-02-2012 10:47 AM

Congratulations! Hope you'll stick around and join us on GC.

thetalady 10-02-2012 10:50 AM

Congratulations!

DeltaBetaBaby 10-02-2012 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CautiousSenior (Post 2182523)
Well, last night was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

I contacted the office of Greek life earlier in the afternoon to inquire if my marital status would be an issue. They contacted the chapter and let me know it was not an issue :D

So last night I ran into the arms of my sisters and had an amazing evening.

I hope you don't mind that I'm not planning on revealing my affiliation- internet privacy hyper-vigilance... it's pretty easy to figure out my school based on dates, and there aren't too many married new members running around :p

Thank you all for your encouragement, advice, and well wishes! I'm very excited to be part of the panhellenic community, and I am very excited to really get involved in not only the service, but in the sisterhood!

Perhaps you can come back with a new username and join us. It would only be obvious to a very small number of readers, and more importantly, nobody would be able to make the connection via search.

agzg 10-02-2012 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CautiousSenior (Post 2182532)
Not at all- it's a forum. Lane swerving and derailing the thought train are par for the course!

Finally SOMEONE gets this!

Quote:

Originally Posted by CautiousSenior (Post 2182523)
Well, last night was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

I contacted the office of Greek life earlier in the afternoon to inquire if my marital status would be an issue. They contacted the chapter and let me know it was not an issue :D

So last night I ran into the arms of my sisters and had an amazing evening.

I hope you don't mind that I'm not planning on revealing my affiliation- internet privacy hyper-vigilance... it's pretty easy to figure out my school based on dates, and there aren't too many married new members running around :p

Thank you all for your encouragement, advice, and well wishes! I'm very excited to be part of the panhellenic community, and I am very excited to really get involved in not only the service, but in the sisterhood!

Congratulations to you!

etadrisophila 10-02-2012 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2182548)
Perhaps you can come back with a new username and join us. It would only be obvious to a very small number of readers, and more importantly, nobody would be able to make the connection via search.

co-sign


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