I absolutely would NOT make any phone calls on your daughter's behalf. If she is not strong enough to handle this on her own, then she needs to deal with that before handling any further complications in her life. And that is well besides the fact that your daughter is now officially a grown up and this is not mommy territory.

I'd also try to relax. I know more than one college student has practically made sport of telling mommy how awful everything is and how she's crying all the time, when, while she might not be doing cartwheels down the dorm halls, she's fine. Now, this might not be your daughter's situation at all; I just wanted to put it out there as a possibility in case you're worrying yourself sick over nothing.

"I absolutely would NOT make any phone calls on your daughter's behalf. If she is not strong enough to handle this on her own, then she needs to deal with that before handling any further complications in her life. And that is well besides the fact that your daughter is now officially a grown up and this is not mommy territory."


I didn't mean to call and give her SSN and Student ID, just call as a parent of a child at Auburn, just to set aside any questions that you might have, and I think as a 'mommy' if you wanted you certainly should. Anyway, I was only making a suggestion, knowing how much the other 'mommy' is hurting for her daughter right now.

I'd make the call, in a generic way, as was suggested. If her daughter is tearful, the last thing she'd want to do is risk being told by Panhellenic that "you're too late" or "all groups doing COB have filled their spots", etc. Maybe it's the old journalist in me, but I'm all about gathering the facts and presenting them to her so she can make an informed decision and act on it. I'm not a helicopter mom by any means, but now is not the time to tell her she's on her own.

I am so sorry! I know if it were me, I'd want to find out what happened.

You will never know what happened. Even in your own sorority, nobody is going to give you a reason.
Truthfully, there may be no reason. Crazy stuff happens during recruitment. And it's probably not that nobody wants a particular girl; it's that her ranking wasn't high enough.

#1 - Not joining a sorority at Auburn is NOT as big a deal as at, say, Alabama. Auburn has LOTS of non-Greek students. It also has lots of other Greek-type alternatives - and joining them does not mean you can't join a sorority in the future. The mere fact that the girl in question is in one of the choral groups - the choral groups tend to be as close as a sorority - and it includes both sexes.

#2 - COB is available. She needs to sign up at the Panhellenic office. An open mind is even more necessary in this situation, because it won't be the most in-demand groups doing COB.

#3 - Spring semester COB. There is no organized effort, but many groups have spots open due to graduation, transfers etc. Plus, she'll have had a chance to make friends in the dorm with women from several different sororities as well as independents.

#4 - Rushing as a sophomore - not uncommon at all. Plus she'll have a year of grades (hopefully excellent grades), a year of maturity, a year of getting to know sorority women etc. etc.

#5 - She may not even need a sorority. She may find her own group of friends and make her own place at Auburn. Most do - even after they join a sorority.

#6 - As a mom with a daughter who went through the same thing, I can assure you that YOU worry about this way more than daughter does. Let her figure it out for herself - she'll probably surprise you!

I agree.

Hope these young women soon find their way despite a such a difficult beginning to their freshman year.

Congratulations to your daughter -- a great recruitment story!

Bumping because prefs are tomorrow and girls need to keep all options open and follow their heart.

LOVE this story!!! Thanks for sharing/bumping! :)

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Tri Delta Alum

TTT!