Or mom might assume her sorority cut her precious snowflake, curse out the chapter President/VP Recruitment/everyone on Panhellenic and threaten to quit/stop donating/stop advising/etc. Because it couldn't be that daughter didn't want to join mom's sorority. Not implying that the OP's mom believes her daughter to be a "snowflake" or that she would be that crazy, just that we've seen this situation before on GC. Most sorority alumnae do not know how bid matching works.

OP, I'd like to echo the responses you've received. Bama is very much a "one shot at a bid" type of school. It would be SO much better to go through recruitment and KNOW it's not for you, than to skip it, and wonder "what if?" one day, or worse, realize you really would want to be a part of Greek Life. If you were going to school anywhere outside the SEC or other large southern schools (including Ole Miss and TCU should you decide to go there), I'd say you could probably wait until sophomore year to decide whether or not to go through recruitment, after you've met sorority women.

I know so many sorority women who thought "I'm not the sorority type" before joining. I was one of them. I wouldn't describe my 18 year old self as a tomboy, but I was in drama, and a total science geek, and very much a "drifter" in high school, having friends from various social circles, but I was not "popular" by any means. I found 4 chapters at my campus where I would have been a good fit, and joined one of them.

Had I attended a school like Alabama, I would not have been Greek because I was not sold on joining a sorority during my senior year of high school. My school has formal recruitment in the spring semester and it is common for sophomores to join. It was not until I actually met sorority women in my classes that I realized that all types of women join sororities. I had the luxury of having time to decide. You won't.

All sorority women are different. The only thing we all have in common is a drive to be the best version of ourselves. If you want to strive to that ideal, you should consider joining one.

Side note: is your mom bent on you joining DDD or would she be happy if you were to go Greek elsewhere? I am thinking the former, but it could be a good way to introduce the topic to her, a la "Mom, what if I don't feel like I fit in to DDD or what if they cut me?" See what she says.

:D You know Michigan is SAI's Alpha chapter, right?


The way my parents always put it was that everyone in college needed to be part of a group where they notice and care when you don't show up.

Hear Hear!
 

I totally agree! Thanks for saying it.

*shudder*

Okay, maybe just tell your mom that you absolutely, totally fell in love with another group, if you chose not to list DDD first.

To the OP: take your mother out for coffee, very soon. And speak to her from your heart. You're going a little "crazy" with speculation, as well as feeling some real pressure (from what you've shared with us). The sooner you speak your truth, the lighter your burden will be. You don't really know what your mother is thinking; maybe she's worried because recruitment is "so competitive" and she doesn't want you to be hurt. I don't know, I can't say, and I myself am horrible at speculating so I avoid it as much as I can.

Other wise GCers have posted amazing advice on your thread and I recommend that you take the best, and leave the rest.

My suggestion: I'm in the "go through recruitment" camp. From what you've written, you'd fit right in to any of the 11 (soon to be 12) chapters at my campus (yes I know it isn't Alabama, it's Arizona, blah blah blah, don't jump me, that's not my point). I am willing to wager a Starbucks card that there is a home for you at your chosen university. No matter the letters, there is a shared sense of purpose and support, and lifetime connections that you will cherish far longer than the four short years you are in college.

Please. Open YOUR heart and mind, and go through recruitment with a big smile and no expectations. That's what I did, and I ended up making a life-changing choice. To this day, I'm grateful that the women of Kappa Alpha Theta saw something in me that I didn't see in myself, and they took a huge chance on me. I made the leap as well. But that's a story for another day!

And when you sit your mom down to talk, LISTEN as well.

I do! And the other school she is considering with an SAI chapter is Northwestern, their Beta chapter and one of the few with a house too. (I've been chatting with AlwaysSAI about it in private messages).

Northwestern is also home to one of the few ΦΜΑ chapters with a house. Michigan is our Epsilon chapter (1902) and Northwestern is our Iota chapter (1910).

/sidetrack

Absolutely!

This!